ESFJ
- Thread starter 88chaz88
- Start date
Oh Jehovah, I could write a book...will get back to this 
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Positives:
Charasmatic, charming, attractive, knows the right things to say, likes to tease even if its inappropriate, well connected, popular, nobody is a stranger to them, generous, can be nurturing, energetic, outgoing, will work hard to achieve something, likes to flatter people, knows how to have a good time. Knows how to make you smile when you are having the worst day ever or even if your really really pissed.
Negatives:
Controlling, manipulative, tempermental, sensitive, prone to outbursts of anger, irrational, can be self-destructive, selfish, refuses to take accountability for their actions, the two I know are good liars, no shame in their game, constantly on the go, always on the phone or with other people, cannot be alone for too long without feeling restless, devious, not very booksmart.
Side note:
So my ESFJ husband made a "deal" with me; he wouldn't leave and go out so much if he had an xbox. So I got him an xbox. Now its hooked to the internet and he plays it nonstop while talking to other players across the world nonstop. Nonstop. He probably says more in a day on that stupid xbox then I say in a week or a month.
************************************************************************
Positives:
Charasmatic, charming, attractive, knows the right things to say, likes to tease even if its inappropriate, well connected, popular, nobody is a stranger to them, generous, can be nurturing, energetic, outgoing, will work hard to achieve something, likes to flatter people, knows how to have a good time. Knows how to make you smile when you are having the worst day ever or even if your really really pissed.
Negatives:
Controlling, manipulative, tempermental, sensitive, prone to outbursts of anger, irrational, can be self-destructive, selfish, refuses to take accountability for their actions, the two I know are good liars, no shame in their game, constantly on the go, always on the phone or with other people, cannot be alone for too long without feeling restless, devious, not very booksmart.
Side note:
So my ESFJ husband made a "deal" with me; he wouldn't leave and go out so much if he had an xbox. So I got him an xbox. Now its hooked to the internet and he plays it nonstop while talking to other players across the world nonstop. Nonstop. He probably says more in a day on that stupid xbox then I say in a week or a month.
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They get along with ANYONE. Well, almost anyone. Cheerful and fluent and funny. Caring and kind and nice.
However, they can consciously or not push the other into group mentality (one friend...went into alpha cheerleader mode), and manipulating others to like / dislike things s/he like/dislike. Also, their sense of traditionalism bugs me more than ESTJ because theirs are related into values and norms; bigger no-nos than ESTJ's logical way of seeing 'truth'.
However, they can consciously or not push the other into group mentality (one friend...went into alpha cheerleader mode), and manipulating others to like / dislike things s/he like/dislike. Also, their sense of traditionalism bugs me more than ESTJ because theirs are related into values and norms; bigger no-nos than ESTJ's logical way of seeing 'truth'.
My little sister is an ESFJ and I just love her. She is so sweet, caring and would go out of her way to help someone. She is really a good person and I just hate the fact that ESFJ kindness get's taken advantage of. I mean heck when I visit she comes in every morning and gives me a back rub and breakfeast in bed. Who wouldn't like that?
Hard working, committed, loyal, geniunely caring
Bad side? They hold grudges, can be controlling, emotionally manipulative and prone to buying junk they don't need
Bad side? They hold grudges, can be controlling, emotionally manipulative and prone to buying junk they don't need
I once liked and ESFJ haha clicked really really well. one thing I didnt really like though was that she was wayyyyy too fanatical about religion. like literally if you said ANYTHING which was contrary to her beliefs she would blow up or just walk away. lol other than that she is a really nice person
I love, love, LOVE ESFJs. All of the people I've ever been attracted to were ESFJ. They're such charming, down-to-earth people and a pleasure to talk to.
The ESFJ girl I liked got really defensive when it came to religion or any of the old school values such as family and integrity.
Ditto on this, my mother is an ESFJ.
She can get extremely defensive so I need to be tactful about what I say.
Never question an ESFJ's values, as soon as you cross that line you're in no mans territory.
- Nov 12, 2008
- 14,153
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- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 1w2 sx/so/sp
I get along with ESFJ's pretty well (better then ENFJ's). I have met many but have never forged any friendships with one (for reasons I honestly don't know). My boss is also an ESFJ and she is by far the best boss I have EVER had, hands down.
Contrary to most people here on the forums, I actually like SJ's.
Contrary to most people here on the forums, I actually like SJ's.
I like SJs and I value what they teach me about their parts of the world, but I admittedly find it hard to relate to them. As an INFJ trying to strengthen his Se, I find my S friends invaluable, just as they come to me about all things out of their own comfort levels.
Ha, that's awesome, they are so social.
One negative about my wife (esfj) is that she is very dependent on external validation, hardly any Fi. If it doesn't matter to other people then it doesn't matter to her.
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Solution: Pick up the Xbox and throw out the window (or you can give it to me).
I promise you, I have picked up that xbox before, just never followed through lol.