entps: the ideal mate for us? skepticism arises. | INFJ Forum

entps: the ideal mate for us? skepticism arises.


Sep 14, 2009
i am a female infj, slightly bordering on the T/F thing.

i was a late bloomer and had my first boyfriend at age 19. i am 22 now, and when i look back, to me it is as if i had been 13 years old in that aspect; i would have never gotten together with him if i thought about relationships as i do now; i don't even want to be friends with him. and that not first and foremostly because of all the things he did, but because i think his personality and mine are totally incompatible.

he was an entp.

now, i have read numerous times that should supposedly be the perfect match for infjs. (the other one being estp, whose basic description doesn't sound too sympathetic to me in any way.)

at first i thought it was just him as an individual whom i didn't like. then i had a discussion with an intj on an entp he knows and can't stand, AND i found this forum, flooded with entps... who seem just as, excuse me, dickheaded as my ex-bf.

i appreciate the mbti system, but this "natural mate" thing seems very far off and flawed to me. i have no interest in finding another entp (as i've read several times my fellow infjs desire). i find them to be constantly self-righteous, arrogant, and that for no valid reasons; i find them to think they are so incredibly smart, yet they have lots and lots of unqualified opinions, based on their bad memory and wrong recitation of something they once read somewhere. they also seem very susceptible to peer group pressure. they seem to think they have understood you, yet have lots of unjustified and wrongful theories on others. they also seem incredibly selfish.

sorry, but i do not like people like this. and my ex-bf seems to have been a prime example of an entp personality.

i'd very much prefer a fellow infj, or an intj. my last boyfriend was an infp and he is one of the few people i call a friend. i'd also say he's the only person i've really been in love with.
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Does it really matter? We don't go out with types, we go out with people. Calling all ENTPs dickheads or branding any name on a type is wrong, you could meet an awesome ENTP, who knows?
yes, i could. but i haven't, and the reasons i haven't seem to be the same with every entp. i've also read enough testimonies of entps on this board who proudly claim to be full of themselves.
I don't choose people based on their type but 4 of my 5 best friends I think are probably ENFPs.
my best friend is an enfp as well. but i still can't help but notice that all the entps i know of are just not sympathetic to me - and always for the same reasons? coincidence? i don't know?
Write off the traits, not the type, you do yourself a disservice to use MBTI knowledge as a way to pre-judge everyone of a particular type in the way you have. Maybe every ENTP you've interacted with in your life has been a dickhead but that is not a type thing. I'm ENTP and I don't consider myself self-righteous, arrogant, incredibly smart, susceptible to peer pressure or claim to be full of myself.

My best and closest friend is an INFJ and I can understand why it could be a good match, thing is you need someone who is at the same maturity level as yourself, when that matches up it could be gold, meanwhile an immature ENTP is a horrid thing imo.
Hey, you have the right to dislike a personality.

A ton of people here hate S types, I don't see how this is any different.

Just don't go out with the people you don't like. That what iiiii do.
Hey, you have the right to dislike a personality.

A ton of people here hate S types, I don't see how this is any different.

It's not any different.
Don't judge all ENTP's by your experience with one. It has been my experience that there is so much diversity among people with the same MBTI personality type, that one might even question the usefulness of MBTI per se. My wife, son, and my brother-in-law (my sister's husband) are all INFJ's and, even though it is possible to discern the patterns that make this so, they are so clearly different. Don't generalize from anecdotal, personal experience to a whole group of people. You might miss out on some really great people.

OTOH, some INTP's, if they are reasonably mature and balanced, seem to pair well with INFJ's. At least that has been my very personal, anecdotal experience!
I actually think, theoretically ENFP is a better match.
I tend to get along better and am more likely to make friends with other xNxJ types, although one of my two best friends is ESTP. Generally, ExTP types are thick-headed, arrogant, self-centered, and tactless. But when they care, they care deeply, and once (if) the energies line up, it works fairly well. I know and have known many ENTPs, and there are variations like any other. An ENTP with a highly developed Fe can be a very good companion.

Sometimes, it just doesn't work. You might want to try something in the F field :)
Like all mammals, ENTPs are capable of manifesting in a wide variety of color schemes and personalities.

Some of the ENTP color schemes are highly amusing and entertaining... like this bloke.



Other ENTP color schemes are highly annoying and abrasive... like this jackass.

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Haha that bloke amuses me to no end!

It really does work both ways. Try not to get into a nonreceptive mindset!
Meh. I don't think you can paint them all with the same brush. MBTI lists sixteen possible personality types; it doesn't manufacture cardboard moulds. Personalities may share certain traits, but in themselves are a fairly unique combination of them.

Still, I agree with you; I would have a strong aversion to any romantic partner that was arrogant and self-righteous.