ENFJs | INFJ Forum

ENFJs

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by VH, Feb 11, 2010.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 4 users.
More threads by VH
  1. VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2009
    Threads:
    252
    Messages:
    4,830
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    851
    Trophy Points:
    657
    MBTI:
    NFJedi
    Enneagram:
    268 sx/so
    ENFJ Description


    ENFJs are the benevolent 'pedagogues' of humanity. They have tremendous charisma by which many are drawn into their nurturant tutelage and/or grand schemes. Many ENFJs have tremendous power to manipulate others with their phenomenal interpersonal skills and unique salesmanship. But it's usually not meant as manipulation -- ENFJs generally believe in their dreams, and see themselves as helpers and enablers, which they usually are.


    ENFJs are global learners. They see the big picture. The ENFJs focus is expansive. Some can juggle an amazing number of responsibilities or projects simultaneously. Many ENFJs have tremendous entrepreneurial ability.


    ENFJs are, by definition, Js, with whom we associate organization and decisiveness. But they don't resemble the SJs or even the NTJs in organization of the environment nor occasional recalcitrance. ENFJs are organized in the arena of interpersonal affairs. Their offices may or may not be cluttered, but their conclusions (reached through feelings) about people and motives are drawn much more quickly and are more resilient than those of their NFP counterparts.


    ENFJs know and appreciate people. Like most NFs, (and Feelers in general), they are apt to neglect themselves and their own needs for the needs of others. They have thinner psychological boundaries than most, and are at risk for being hurt or even abused by less sensitive people. ENFJs often take on more of the burdens of others than they can bear.

    TRADEMARK: "The first shall be last"


    This refers to the open-door policy of ENFJs. One ENFJ colleague always welcomes me into his office regardless of his own circumstances. If another person comes to the door, he allows them to interrupt our conversation with their need. While discussing that need, the phone rings and he stops to answer it. Others drop in with a 'quick question.' I finally get up, go to my office and use the call waiting feature on the telephone. When he hangs up, I have his undivided attention!

    ENFJs direct their energy towards the outer world of actions and spoken words. They try to build harmony in important personal relationships. Their lives are organized on a personal basis, seeking to develop and promote personal growth in people they value.

    What makes an ENFJ tick?


    The Dominant function is the judging one of Feeling. Characteristics associated with this function include:

    • Makes decisions on the basis of personal values
    • Is appreciative and accepting of people - enjoying company and seeking harmony
    • Assesses the impact of decisions on others, being sympathetic or compassionate
    • Takes a personal approach
    The judging Feeling function is extroverted. That is, Feeling is used primarily to govern the outer world of actions and spoken words. The ENFJ will therefore:

    • seek stable, harmonious relationships
    • tend to adapt to the environment, taking on board those values that are held as important by friends and family, or society as a whole
    • express the appreciation that is felt towards others
    • tend to consider others' feelings before his/her own
    • be sensitive to praise and criticism, and seek to conform to others' reasonable expectations
    The Feeling function is primarily supported by introverted iNtuitive perception, That is, iNtuitive perception is used primarily to manage the inner world of thoughts and emotions. This will modify the way that the Feeling is directed, by:

    • focusing the (outer world) Feeling on ideas and possibilities for people
    • looking for meaningful relationships
    • aiming to understand people, gaining insight into their personality and motivation
    The classic temperament of an ENFJ is Apollonian, or Choleric, for whom a basic driving force is the search for meaning or purpose.

    Contributions to the team of an ENFJ


    In a team environment, the ENFJ can contribute by:

    • promoting insight and common understanding amongst the team
    • facilitating discussions, encouraging contributions from all team members by asking questions in a structured way
    • seeking to arrive at consensus decisions
    • generating team spirit though the ENFJ's own energy and enthusiasm
    • focusing on areas of agreement and building on others' proposals
    • bringing discussions to positive conclusions
    The potential ways in which an ENFJ can irritate others include:

    • talking too much
    • assuming they know the needs of others - in trying to help them develop insight, the ENFJ can appear bossy
    • avoiding conflict and not giving criticism when it is needed
    • taking criticism personally
    • focusing so much on interpersonal issues that cost and other impersonal considerations are not adequately addressed.

    Personal Growth

    As with all types, the ENFJ can achieve personal growth by developing all functions that are not fully developed, through actions such as:
    • learning to observe and accept the negative aspects of those people they admire
    • finding an independent and objective means of verifying their insights about people
    • pausing and thinking, encouraging others to articulate their own needs, and using active listening to verify understanding
    • undertaking a critical appraisal of a situation or person, and expressing disagreement or criticism when it could be of value to the recipient
    • focusing on impersonal details when making decisions
    • listing options and undertaking a formal process of evaluation against criteria, including a cost benefit analysis
    • establishing a long term goal, working towards it, but being prepared to modify it in the light of experience and developing circumstances
    • letting others develop at their own pace
    Recognizing Stress

    As stress increases, 'learned behavior' tends to give way to the natural style, so the ENFJ will behave more according to type when under greater stress. For example, in a crisis, the ENFJ might:

    • get everyone organized
    • express appreciation for their efforts
    • contribute creative ideas, but overlook current realities
    • fail to consider the cost implications
    Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the ENFJ's shadow may appear - a negative form of ISTP. Example characteristics are:

    • being very critical and find fault with almost everything
    • doing things to excess - e.g.: eating, drinking or exercising
    • asking for irrelevant information
    • ignoring others' feelings
    The shadow is part of the unconscious that is often visible to others, onto whom the shadow is projected. The ENFJ may therefore readily see these faults in others without recognizing it in him/her self.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #1 VH, Feb 11, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2010
  2. OP
    VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2009
    Threads:
    252
    Messages:
    4,830
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    851
    Trophy Points:
    657
    MBTI:
    NFJedi
    Enneagram:
    268 sx/so
    ENFJ: The Giver, The Mentor, The Teacher, The Inspirer, The Champion

    As an ENFJ, you're primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

    ENFJs are people-focused individuals. They live in the world of people possibilities. More so than any other type, they have excellent people skills. They understand and care about people, and have a special talent for bringing out the best in others. ENFJ's main interest in life is giving love, support, and a good time to other people. They are focused on understanding, supporting, and encouraging others. They make things happen for people, and get their best personal satisfaction from this.

    Because ENFJ's people skills are so extraordinary, they have the ability to make people do exactly what they want them to do. They get under people's skins and get the reactions that they are seeking. ENFJ's motives are usually unselfish, but ENFJs who have developed less than ideally have been known to use their power over people to manipulate them.

    ENFJ's are so externally focused that it's especially important for them to spend time alone. This can be difficult for some ENFJs, because they have the tendency to be hard on themselves and turn to dark thoughts when alone. Consequently, ENFJs might avoid being alone, and fill their lives with activities involving other people. ENFJs tend to define their life's direction and priorities according to other people's needs, and may not be aware of their own needs. It's natural to their personality type that they will tend to place other people's needs above their own, but they need to stay aware of their own needs so that they don't sacrifice themselves in their drive to help others.

    ENFJ's tend to be more reserved about exposing themselves than other extraverted types. Although they may have strongly-felt beliefs, they're likely to refrain from expressing them if doing so would interfere with bringing out the best in others. Because their strongest interest lies in being a catalyst of change in other people, they're likely to interact with others on their own level, in a chameleon-like manner, rather than as individuals.

    Which is not to say that the ENFJ does not have opinions. ENFJs have definite values and opinions which they're able to express clearly and succinctly. These beliefs will be expressed as long as they're not too personal. ENFJ is in many ways expressive and open, but is more focused on being responsive and supportive of others. When faced with a conflict between a strongly-held value and serving another person's need, they are highly likely to value the other person's needs.

    The ENFJ may feel quite lonely even when surrounded by people. This feeling of aloneness may be exacerbated by the tendency to not reveal their true selves.

    People love ENFJs. They are fun to be with, and truly understand and love people. They are typically very straight-forward and honest. Usually ENFJs exude a lot of self-confidence, and have a great amount of ability to do many different things. They are generally bright, full of potential, energetic and fast-paced. They are usually good at anything which captures their interest.

    ENFJs like for things to be well-organized, and will work hard at maintaining structure and resolving ambiguity. They have a tendency to be fussy, especially with their home environments.

    In the work place, ENFJs do well in positions where they deal with people. They are naturals for the social committee. Their uncanny ability to understand people and say just what needs to be said to make them happy makes them naturals for counseling. They enjoy being the center of attention, and do very well in situations where they can inspire and lead others, such as teaching.

    ENFJs do not like dealing with impersonal reasoning. They don't understand or appreciate its merit, and will be unhappy in situations where they're forced to deal with logic and facts without any connection to a human element. Living in the world of people possibilities, they enjoy their plans more than their achievements. They get excited about possibilities for the future, but may become easily bored and restless with the present.

    ENFJs have a special gift with people, and are basically happy people when they can use that gift to help others. They get their best satisfaction from serving others. Their genuine interest in Humankind and their exceptional intuitive awareness of people makes them able to draw out even the most reserved individuals.

    ENFJs have a strong need for close, intimate relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort in creating and maintaining these relationships. They're very loyal and trustworthy once involved in a relationship.

    An ENFJ who has not developed their Feeling side may have difficulty making good decisions, and may rely heavily on other people in decision-making processes. If they have not developed their Intuition, they may not be able to see possibilities, and will judge things too quickly based on established value systems or social rules, without really understanding the current situation. An ENFJ who has not found their place in the world is likely to be extremely sensitive to criticism, and to have the tendency to worry excessively and feel guilty. They are also likely to be very manipulative and controling with others.

    In general, ENFJs are charming, warm, gracious, creative and diverse individuals with richly developed insights into what makes other people tick. This special ability to see growth potential in others combined with a genuine drive to help people makes the ENFJ a truly valued individual. As giving and caring as the ENFJ is, they need to remember to value their own needs as well as the needs of others.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    anica likes this.
  3. OP
    VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2009
    Threads:
    252
    Messages:
    4,830
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    851
    Trophy Points:
    657
    MBTI:
    NFJedi
    Enneagram:
    268 sx/so
    Famous ENFJs
    (Real and Fictional)


    View attachment 2378

    Johnny Depp, a classic liberal ENFJ.

    View attachment 2379

    Ronald Reagan, a classic conservative ENFJ.

    View attachment 2386

    Madeleine Stowe, a lovely female ENFJ

    View attachment 2387

    Monica Bellucci, a very focused ENFJ (who is hard to find candid photos of).

    View attachment 2375

    Brenda Vaccaro

    View attachment 2376

    Peyton Manning, strong tertiary Se fueling his Fe and Ni based talent.

    View attachment 2377

    Barbara Dole, a great example of ENFJ wit (even if you don't agree with her views).

    View attachment 2373

    Charlie Sheen, an example of what can happen when Fe goes bad. ENFJs can become the life of the party... to excess.

    View attachment 2374

    Craig T. Nelson, about as classic ENFJ as it gets in real life.

    View attachment 2372

    Scott Bakula, passionate about life and helping others.

    View attachment 2371

    Kate Winslet, perhaps the most quintessential female ENFJ of all time.

    View attachment 2366

    Uncle Iroh from Avatar, quite possibly the most exaggerated ENFJ character ever portrayed. Unassuming, polite, unconditionally idealistic, always seeming to have a plan up his sleeve, but actually just winging it at all times because he's a flaming bad ass (literally).

    View attachment 2367

    If this needs explanation, you need to go back and start learning Jungian archetypes again.

    View attachment 2368

    Khan, the ultimate ENFJ villain... driven by his ideals, guided by intuition. Khan did what he felt he had to in order to save his people, and then avenge them. He was a classic ENFJ, right down to the brilliant but '2 dimensional thinking'.

    View attachment 2369

    Of all the Jedi, Yoda is the most ENFJ, the quintessential mentor and all around unassuming bad ass.

    View attachment 2380

    Samuel, another example of an ENFJ villain, but unlike Khan Samuel is a 'dark' ENFJ who's Fe was destroyed and rebuilt into selfish ambition.

    View attachment 2382

    Prince Ashitaka from Princess Mononoke, my favorite ENFJ from any work of fiction.

    View attachment 2383

    Haku from Spirited Away, the quiet ENFJ because it is considered polite to be quiet in Japan.

    View attachment 2384

    Howl from Howl's Moving Castle, a wonderful example of the ENFJ personality, and for once in a Miyazaki film including some of the negative personality triats of an ENFJ.

    View attachment 2385

    Nausicaa from Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind - leaning on the INFJ side, maybe a good example of an NFJ ambivert
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #3 VH, Feb 11, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2010
  4. OP
    VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2009
    Threads:
    252
    Messages:
    4,830
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    851
    Trophy Points:
    657
    MBTI:
    NFJedi
    Enneagram:
    268 sx/so
  5. OP
    VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2009
    Threads:
    252
    Messages:
    4,830
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    851
    Trophy Points:
    657
    MBTI:
    NFJedi
    Enneagram:
    268 sx/so
    Dominant Function:
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  6. NaeturVindur

    NaeturVindur Cuddlemaster
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2008
    Threads:
    86
    Messages:
    3,686
    Likes Received:
    265
    Trophy Points:
    641
    MBTI:
    iNfj
    Enneagram:
    9w1
    you know, I was about to start a thread about ENFJ's myself, except discussing a certain characteristic I've found in all the ENFJs I know and have recognized them as being ENFJ. This is a small group of TexasGirl, B, C, and D, aka Sparkz who never posts (the letters make sense if you read my blog). I've noticed that while they're extroverted, they don't take to crowds as extroverts seem to. They all get freaked out by masses of people just as much as introverts. ENFJs seem to do best in small social groups of close friends, not while being the stereotypical social butterfly. They do all have masses of friends, but thats because they're friendly to everyone, not because they feel dissatisfied until they have that many friends.

    thoughts?

    ETA: oh, you weren't done. I can delete this post and repost it later, if you like.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #6 NaeturVindur, Feb 11, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2010
  7. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
    Donor

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2009
    Threads:
    95
    Messages:
    4,826
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1,249
    Trophy Points:
    381
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    CT
    MBTI:
    infj
    Enneagram:
    ....
    I watched a documentary on cult leaders the other day, yeah Jim Jones, total ENFJ.

    "you will love me and never leave me or DIE!!!!!"
     
  8. OP
    VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2009
    Threads:
    252
    Messages:
    4,830
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    851
    Trophy Points:
    657
    MBTI:
    NFJedi
    Enneagram:
    268 sx/so
    [quote=N
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  9. christmas

    christmas is such a boss bitch.
    Donor

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2009
    Threads:
    28
    Messages:
    2,156
    Likes Received:
    528
    Trophy Points:
    672
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    9w1
    I'm actually wondering."How Will I Know" by Whitney Houston is playing in my head right now.
     
  10. WaeV

    WaeV Community Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2009
    Threads:
    15
    Messages:
    242
    Likes Received:
    20
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    -+/=
    Enneagram:
    ...
    [quote=N
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  11. OP
    VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2009
    Threads:
    252
    Messages:
    4,830
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    851
    Trophy Points:
    657
    MBTI:
    NFJedi
    Enneagram:
    268 sx/so
    Opposing Personality
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  12. OP
    VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2009
    Threads:
    252
    Messages:
    4,830
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    851
    Trophy Points:
    657
    MBTI:
    NFJedi
    Enneagram:
    268 sx/so
    [SIZE=+1][SIZE=+2]So, I took a new approach to all of these tests... I answered them as if I was happy and healthy, in my best place mentally, rather than where I have been for the last several years.
    [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=+2]
    ENFJ
    [/SIZE]
    [/SIZE]

    Extraverted
    11
    Intuitive 62
    Feeling 50
    Judging 11

    Basic Report Results (
    mhfg)

    ENFJ - 76%
    INFJ - 75%
    INFP - 73%
    ESFJ - 70%
    ISFP - 66%
    ENFP - 63%
    ISFJ - 61%
    INTJ - 60%

    Type Dynamics Results

    Fe - 25
    Fi - 24
    Ni - 23
    Ne - 18
    Si - 17
    Se - 12
    Te - 11
    Ti - 10


    Cognitive Process
    Level of Development
    (Preference, Skill and Frequency of Use)


    (Fe) ****************************************** (42.8)
    (Fi) ************************************** (38.8)
    (Ni) ************************************ (36.6)
    (Se) ******************************** (32.5)
    (Ne) **************************** (28.6)
    (Ti) *********************** (23.3)
    (Te) ******************* (19.2)
    (Si) ****************** (18.4)

    Summary Analysis of Profile
    By focusing on the strongest configuration of cognitive processes, your pattern of responses most closely matches individuals of this type: ENFJ
    Lead (Dominant) Process
    Extraverted Feeling (Fe): Building trust through giving relationships. Empathically responding to others' needs and take on their needs and values as your own. Checking for respect and trust. Giving and receiving support to grow closer to people.

    Support (Auxilliary) Process
    Introverted Intuiting (Ni): Transforming with a meta-perspective. Withdrawing from the world and focusing your mind to receive an insight or realization. Checking if synergy results. Trying out a realization to transform things.

    If these cognitive processes don't fit well then consider these types: INFJ, or ESFP

    View attachment 2359

    [SIZE=+1][SIZE=+2]These results confirmed my suspicions, which are that I believe I am inherently an ENFJ who leans strongly INFJ, especially when stressed. My only real proof that I was an INFJ, aside from leaning that way on self assessment tests (which is an inherently introverted activity anyway) is Beebe's model of what each function preference represents in a person. I had a lot of trouble discerning which of the dominant and secondary functions applied more to me, as well as the tertiary and inferior functions. I'm still not completely sure, but when I took a look at the lesser functions... Opposing, Senex, Trickster, Demon... there was a lot less ambiguity, even when I'm in introverted mode. Nothing annoys me more than Fi. Nothing. And this is fully acknowledging that I have a fairly strong Fi myself, which I really don't like. Ne can grate on my nerves, but only over time. Fi is instantly annoying to me, oppositional to all that I am. More than any of the INFJs I know, I am prone to reactively swatting at moments of Fi from my INFP friends without stopping to consider what they meant (sorry guys, I don't mean to be such a dick about it). Si always seems childish to me, and Te seemed 'evil' to me for years and years until I finally opened up and got to know an INTJ (out of necessity). ESTJs are my bane, and ENTJs were not too far behind until recently when I got to understand my INTJ friend.

    Ironically, Beebe's theories on how we progress under stress is what led me to think I am an ENFJ, actually. (This is ironic because it was Beebe's theories that convinced me I was an INFJ... because I was assessing based on how I felt at the moment, rather than when 'healthy'.)When I am 'healthy', I act a lot more like an ENFJ. When I'm on low burn constant stress, I introvert and start to act like an INFJ. When I get more stressed I start to act like an ESTP jackass, and when I get overwhelmed I begin to pull back in like an ISTP. Meanwhile, when I start to step into shadow modes, I become more and more INFP and ENFP, which mix with my INFJ and ESTP modes respectively.

    Fe has always been perfectly natural to me. It just comes out whether I want it to or not. One of my biggest arguments for being an INFJ was that my Fe isn't the first thing that turns on when I wake up. However, this is based on a theory that assumes that the functions activate and deactivate in order of preference with respect to fatigue. I've only ever read this in a few wacky notions, mostly seem to be assumptive. This isn't part of the Jungian model or Beebe's theories. One of the things I do know for a fact from working with addicts is that the human mind has a set order of precedence for shutting down under fatigue. This is how we can detect when someone is in danger of dying from overdose. The mind shuts down in reverse order of how much energy it requires to operate something. The first thing to go is the frontal lobe... the part of our minds that allow us to make practical reasoning that includes cause and effect. This is why intoxicated people are usually emotional and have poor judgement. Next is emotional capacity. This is why extremely intoxicated people are generally very affable. Next is basic analytical thought including things like the speech centers and ability to do basic math, as well as motor skills. Field sobriety tests are based on this area of the brain shutting down. From here, once a person is too intoxicated to speak, they're generally unconscious and the brain begins to shut down life support in order of least important functions, like body temperature, moving down into breathing and heart beat. I know this was a lot of explanation, but it proves that the notion that cognition shut down is not tied to fatigue. F types have a hard time when they get fatigued, while T ypes can trudge on like robots. It's just the way the mind works, because believe it or not, the mind is more concerned with survival than cognition.

    Ni is something that I kind of have to force a little. I've often stated that it is the most subconscious of the function, but understand that this doesn't mean it is a subconscious function. It's easy to assume that it is, but what's actually going on is that more subconscious routines are operating with it than the other functions. We have to choose to use it... at least those of us who don't have it as a dominant function. Ni is 'natural' for me, it's just not my first reflex like it is with a lot of INFJs. I jump to how I feel, then consider the pattern, only starting with Fe if I don't have a feeling on the subject, or am emotionally 'shut down'. The INFJs I have talked to about this function 'just know things'. I feel my intutions more than 'just know' them. I have to stop and focus on what I am feeling out there before I can really figure them out. For example, I've felt something very strongly out of nowhere. It felt bad. I had to focus to realize someone was hurt... hurt in a car wreck... someone I am close to... and only then realize who it was. The process could take hours, but when I called them, sure enough, I was right. This says to me that I'm Fe > Ni because my INFJ friends pretty much describe this process in reverse. They 'just know' something, and then start to feel it.

    Se is something that I never really considered a strong suit for me, but I realized that it comes almost as naturally to me as Ni. I prefer to live in my 'dream world', imagination, or pondering with respect to what I'm processing, but I'm a very tangible, here and now person under that. These two functions are very tied together for me. I think the thing that made this the most obvious for me was just how much of a difference I have in drive for physical activities like martial arts, fencing, shooting, how many fights I've been in, the drive to make the world a better place, and my combat background... vs. all of the INFJs here, and the few that I know. You guys aren't as into this stuff as I am. I'm not saying it is the focus of my life, but I definitely have more interest and experience in these sorts of things than most of you, and that's because there is a part of me that really feels that I need to. Being physical, capable, and even powerful are inherent needs in my nature, very important back up to who I am otherwise. I am constantly making sure people understand that I am these things, even though I'm not aware of it (my INTJ pointed this out) with my body language, presence, vibe, etc. And, while I really don't like to engage in violence, it's something that I've done more than my fair share of over the years, when it was necessary. I have a long fuse, but when it goes, I'm in there. Also, although it is often difficult to snap me out of my ponderings, nothing makes me feel healthier emotionally than working out.

    Ti is well... something I struggle with. Always have. For example, my long overly detailed posts here are more for my own benefit as I try to understand what I'm processing and analyzing. Depsite my very convinced of myself tone (Fe), I'm actually trying to figure this stuff out as I go. I remember very distinctly a season in my 20s where my Ti finally matured, but I know my Se was well developed before then. Seems like my teenage years are when my Se fully matured, maybe before then, but regardless that's Se > Ti. Until then, I wasn't very good with it at all. My analytical skills were entirely based on right brained reasoning and pattern recognition. I sucked at math, grammar, etc. I still can't spell my way out of a wet paper bag. Ti is the backseat driver for me. It fascinates me, and I can be good at it with time, but I think this is the function I struggle with the most. Se is patently easier for me. I can pick up a kata in no time. It takes me a while to learn a new system of logic, which I have to filter through my Fe and Ni. I've frequently said, for years and years before I ever heard of any of this "If my gut disagrees with my brain, my gut is right every time." Upon learning about cognitive functions, I always assumed this meant Ni vs Ti, but I'm realizing that my 'gut' is a mix of my Fe and Ni as opposed to my Se and Ti, but mostly Fe vs Ti. As I mentioned earlier, I feel my 'intuitions'. Most important indicator, I never used to have the inclination to rattle on about the details of things until my Ti matured, and believe it or not, have only really begun writing these dissertations in the past few years, as if my Ti is finally coming into its own.

    For these reasons, I'm starting to see how I am Fe > Ni > Se > Ti, despite my self assessments. It's like I finally got a good look at myself from the outside.
    [/SIZE]
    [/SIZE]
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #12 VH, Feb 13, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2010
  13. DefectiveCreative

    Donor

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2008
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    536
    Likes Received:
    81
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFP
    Enneagram:
    4w5 so/sx
    Kirk's an ESTP, dude.

    EDIT: Oh, and IMO Qui Gonn's an INFJ.

    If it helps here are some people/characters I think are ENFJ:

    Iroh - (Avatar: The Last Air-bender)
    Captain Archer - (Star Trek: Enterprise)
    Red - (The Shawshank Redemption)
    Harvey Dent (The Dark Knight)
    Dr. Sam Beckett - (Quantum Leap)
    Noah Bennett - (Heroes)
    Thulsa Doom - (Conan the Barbarian)

    Scott Bakula
    Kate Winslet
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #13 DefectiveCreative, Feb 13, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2010
    VH likes this.
  14. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2008
    Threads:
    762
    Messages:
    14,154
    Likes Received:
    1,297
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    1w2 sx/so/sp
    Excuse me for a second: ... oh goddamnit. I didn't want you to be right.

    Your arguments and reasons for this, are quite sound, and you are able to differentate the use of Fe over Ni quite well. This has never really become apparent on the forums that much. However, I can certainly see this now that I focus on it more. You indeed approach ideas, theories, and people with a strong direct idea of how it is. The idea itself comes first, then you later intuitit corrections out of it later on, and do so with redirected certainty. This discussion here actually proves this further. At times this can make you appear "fanatical" about things, which is the nature of dominate Fe, which often remains unsupressed. You indeed still rely on Ni, but it isn't your first line that you rely on.

    I have to admit, I didn't want to acknowlage that you are an ENFJ, because you have gone through these kinds ideas before. However, in the past they were not as well founded as this. You are basing this on a direct reason, and are able to pinpoint the source of this. That being said, I am not going to fully except this just yet. I need to see further examples and proof for me to except and believe you being an ENFJ. As such, I am likely going to end up playing devils advocate when I see that I can. If just for the fact that Fe doesn't like that :D.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  15. Raccoon Love

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2009
    Threads:
    310
    Messages:
    5,413
    Likes Received:
    703
    Trophy Points:
    657
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFP
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    Very nice descriptions Von, I can indeed relate to a lot of the traits presented under the ENFJ profiles and also I can relate to the various ''stress modes'' the ENFJ goes through, I love being around others I really do, I am beginning to learn the different between a borderline shy extrovert and just an introvert, after all being shy has nothing to do with either factor. I have realized how storng my Fe, it leads me all the time, I am extremely concerned for the well being of others and helping them reach their potential, it is just something that I really enjoy, I noticed that first I apply feeling and then I would think of a possibility to indeed help others. ENFJ's are said to need time to recharge more so than any other extroverts which I can relate, I also go more on INFJ mode when I am stressed, I have more natural ENFJ tendencies. Maybe I am over thinking it, but I really am starting to think I am an ENFJ. I been trying to deny my Fe for so long..
     
  16. OP
    VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2009
    Threads:
    252
    Messages:
    4,830
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    851
    Trophy Points:
    657
    MBTI:
    NFJedi
    Enneagram:
    268 sx/so
    I tried to debate this. I really can't.

    All I can do is justify by saying the two types have a lot in common in stressful situations.

    Agreed. I added that poster for the quote "Feel, don't think. Trust your instincts". Obiwan seemed more ENFJ than Qui Gonn.

    Yes, this helps. I can definitely see the ones I put in bold. I never watched Quantum Leap. Noah has a huge T function, and my money is on ENTJ. Captain Archer... I'm really on the fence about. I can see it, but the P is strong in him. Red... just seems too I and S to me. Thulsa Doom... something's not jiving with him as an ENFJ... not enough idealism that includes the well being of others, nor enough 'passion'. Now Khan from Wrath of Khan, now there's an ENFJ villain!

    I don't know enough about these people personally to see it.

    Mark Harmon also seems to be a really good example of a real life ENFJ though.

    Edit: After taking a look at them, I can see Scott Bakula, though I think what's going on here is that the actors (Shatner and the new Kirk) are ENFJs playing characters that are not ENFJs. Based on their actions, Kirk is an ESTP and Archer is an ENFP. We're seeing the actor shining through.

    However, Kate Winslet is without a doubt and ENFJ. Worse still, she makes facial expressions, mannerisms, and vibes as me in candid photos / video. This does not bode well for my INFJness.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #16 VH, Feb 15, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2010
  17. OP
    VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2009
    Threads:
    252
    Messages:
    4,830
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    851
    Trophy Points:
    657
    MBTI:
    NFJedi
    Enneagram:
    268 sx/so
    Hehe.

    Now that is a perfect INFJ supporting statement. Thank you for your insights here.

    I'm not completely convinced that I am either. Perhaps my Fe doesn't want to give up yet, but my Ni sees the pattern. I either case, I appreciate any and all refute you can offer. Whichever of these is my best fit type, I want to be sure.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  18. OP
    VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2009
    Threads:
    252
    Messages:
    4,830
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    851
    Trophy Points:
    657
    MBTI:
    NFJedi
    Enneagram:
    268 sx/so
    It's possible. You are a very kind soul, and you seem to do the thing Indigo mentioned that I do with respect to feel first, fine tune second. Only you can decide which type best fits you.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  19. OP
    VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2009
    Threads:
    252
    Messages:
    4,830
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    851
    Trophy Points:
    657
    MBTI:
    NFJedi
    Enneagram:
    268 sx/so
    And this is just funny...

    ENFJ: The Cult Leader

    ENFJs are big thinkers. They are extremely charismatic, and wish to offer the benefit of their wisdom to the world at large. They tend to see the grand scheme of things, and to be able to deduce connections between things that other people miss; these psychological personality traits are the result fo the fact that they are the Messiah.

    ENFJs use their charisma and their knowledge to teach others, benevolently helping their fellow man reach a higher plane of evolution through such unorthodox but enlightened means as Psychic Third Nostril Enlargement. They then retire to secluded farmhouses in rural areas, where their followers express appreciation for the ENFJs by signing over all their worldly possessions and giving up their wives and daughters to the ENFJ's "special care."

    RECREATION: ENFJs are fond of collecting things, such as wives, guns, ammunition, and FBI search warrants. ENFJs often pass their leisure time engaged in such pursuits as self-flagellation or being nailed to things. Some ENFJs eschew these activities, preferring instead to watch their followers engage in them, offering suggestions and gentle advice when appropriate.

    COMPATIBILITY: ENFJs make natural companions and mentors to INFJs. They often get along well with ENFPs, although a friendly rivalry may sometimes erupt between the two.

    Famous ENFJs include J. R. "Bob" Dobbs.

    I got this from here... http://www.xeromag.com/fun/personality.html
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  20. OP
    VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2009
    Threads:
    252
    Messages:
    4,830
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    851
    Trophy Points:
    657
    MBTI:
    NFJedi
    Enneagram:
    268 sx/so
    Being an ENFJ would explain why I have such an attraction to INFPs, and such epic clashes with ENFPs.

    Don't get me wrong, I dearly love most of the ENFPs I know... we just usually end up in a clash of wills over our differing approaches to life, which is almost always one of us telling the other "You're doing it wrong" and having a hard time reconciling the middle ground once our F functions start to polarize against each other. I've never been able to really develop any romance with an ENFP, despite wanting to on both our parts. It's as if we can't not offend each other in proportion to our emotional intimacy. My best relationships with ENFPs are casual, where neither of us expect too much from each other (or maybe this is just me as it seems expectations are toxic and offensive to ENFPs... along with accountability).

    I've had close to a dozen 'lightning bolt' reactions to INFP women over the years. The chemistry between us is indescribable. But the INFPs sometimes suffer from the 'I feel it is this way, therefore it is, and if you disagree, you are attacking my ego' issue that seems to be common in F dominant types (ENFJ, ESFJ, ISFP, INFP). However, the biggest problem I've had with INFPs was an inability to synchronize our schedules... It's really wierd, but it happens with all of the INFPs I've ever dated... We have a lot of trouble calling when the other is able to answer the phone, making plans when the other is available. It's like we have a natural tendency to live opposite one another. Those issues aside, and perhaps they are contributing factors to the fact that, when we do connect it's like plugging directly into each other's (very intense) souls. Like a pair of opposite charge super magnets.

    ENFJ women are my kryptonite. I've never seen passion or intenisty like that, but unfortunately (and I swear I'm not trying to sound egotistical here) so few ENFJs have strong Ti (or high end IQs), leaving me unable to respect their intelligence, especially when they feel very intensely that they are right when they are not. Otherwise, there is an incredible mutual admiration, which I think is what the relationship is built on... well that and the passion, dear goodness the passion. Unlike the supermagnet effect with INFPs, ENFJs are like plugging into direct current and forming a power circuit.

    INFJ women are just plain dreamy, but now that I think about it, whether friends, lovers, or whatever, I'm the one in the 'lead' of the relationship with my INFJs... whether or not I'm 'in charge'.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #20 VH, Feb 15, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2010
Loading...
Similar Threads - ENFJs
  1. Artsu Tharaz
    Replies:
    1
    Views:
    733

Share This Page