ENFJs

[VH]

I see this does make a lot of sense. The 5 is mainly caused by my constant need for independence. Not only this but I have mainly adapted myself to be a 5 due to circumstances which are not favorable to my actual persona, this is where I imagine the INFP comes in, when I am in my stress moods which is pretty often I tend to go INFP and my Fi goes wild. However I do feel at my best as a type 4. Type 2 also comes up pretty high on my ennegram tests as well as type 1. However I do not believe there's such thing as a 4w2 or 4w1 right? I have never seen this 2 types mix for some reason, perhaps I do not understand the enegram system much.

According to the system, the wings are only the next closest number, which is why you'll only see 1w9 or 1w2 since 9 and 1 are next to each other. I have a dominant leaning toward Type 1. I also have a strong influence of 4, 9, and 2, but there is no 1w4. I think my leanings toward 2 and 9 just imply I'm a balanced Type 1.

I'm not especially well versed in Enneagram, though, so advanced questions would probably be better answered by DC. However, I think your assessment is probably accurate. You're jumping back and forth from healthy to shadow mode due to stress, and your test results over the past year or support this.

I really think you're either an ENFJ or an INFP that slips into the other when stressed. As Indigo mentioned, you seem like a Feeling dominant person, like me. You feel first, intuit second. It's not an obvious pattern at first, but once you key in on it, it's unmistakable. Indigo said it like this, "You feel first, deciding how things should be. After that, you use your intuition to refine what you feel is right, and only change your views once your intuition shows you that it could be wrong. That's the opposite of the INFJ method."

 

[sassafras]

I've done some thinking, Von, and I have some serious doubts about my ENFJness. There are a lot of things that just don't jive. For one, the dominant Fe.

Having read a number of ENFJ profiles and other forum testaments as to what ENFJ's are like, it's obvious that "people" are what an ENFJ is about. Building connections, teaching, preaching, saving the world, and upholding the ideals of a community... that isn't me. Of course, I care about people and I want those close to me to feel good and be happy, but it isn't my top priority. If I do utilize people-skills, they are to my own ends. I don't go out of my way for other people unless I like them. I'm not drawn to being the head of a social committee for the sake of being with people; I'd be drawn to being the head of a social committee because it would make me feel better about myself knowing that I had the ambition, the skills and the drive to be able to obtain it. Helping other people is just gravy. I'm more me-focused than anything else... and I wouldn't wither away if I lived like a hermit for the rest of my life.

 

[VH]

ENFJs at Work

At work, ENFJs contribute their encouragement and facilitation toward workplace cooperation. They are focused on the organization's ideals and operate within those ideals. They focus on how organizations should treat people and communicate these values to others. They enjoy leading and facilitating teams, and like to bring matters to mutually beneficial conclusions. ENFJs bring a sense of camaraderie to all they do.
Work Setting

ENFJs prefer a work setting that contains individuals focused on changing things for the betterment of others. They like an environment that is people oriented, supportive, and organized. They do their best when there is a spirit of harmony, with encouragement given for self-expression. Projects which involve creativity and allow for communication are especially sought after by ENFJs. They like their work to be settled and orderly, but not so much so that it is dull, quiet, unchanging, or unchallenging. Most ENFJs find that an aesthetically pleasing physical work setting contributes to their optimal productivity.
Organizing Style

The ENFJ organizing style is to plan around the particular value or ideal and to supply the necessary energy toward its achievement or implementation. Initially, ENFJs tune in to the people and relationship needs and requirements, developing the appropriate assignments for themselves and others in order to carry out the tasks. It hurts their feelings when others do not follow through as they expected. However, sometimes their expectations are not clear, and others inadvertently disappoint ENFJs.
In the accomplishment of the goal, ENFJs will look at the people available and will assign tasks based on who needs the experience, the exposure, or the development. To a lesser degree, they will assign the task based purely on competency, because ENFJs feel it is more important to help others grow and develop new skills. If others have a particular deadline that needs to be met, the ENFJ will work to meet that deadline so that the other person will be happy.
The work space of an ENFJ is generally fairly well organized. It also contains many items of a personal nature, such as family pictures, children's artwork, and gifts from special friends or relatives.
ENFJs like to stick to a plan. However, they will change based on the personal requests of the individuals affected by the plan, if those personal requests are important to the overall value being served.
Occupations

To perform well at work, individuals may need to use all of the eight preferences at the appropriate time and when required by the situation. Knowing this, people tend to select occupations that allow them to use the preferences that are most natural to them.
ENFJs prefer occupations that reflect their ideals and that promote harmonious relationships with others. They tend to be attracted to occupations with a service orientation. They generally follow policies and procedures as long as those procedures are compatible with people's needs. They prefer things to be organized, and decided, rather than haphazard.
While ENFJs can, and do, enter all occupations, some are more appealing to them than others. According to available research, some occupations (in alphabetical order) seem to be more attractive to ENFJs: actor, clergy, consultant, counselor and therapist, designer, home economist, musician, religious worker, teacher, writer, and other occupations that allow them to be of service to others. These occupations are not meant to be an exhaustive list, but serve to illustrate some areas that an ENFJ might enjoy. If your specific occupation, or one that you are interested in, is not listed here, think instead of its general characteristics and ask yourself how those fit with your type.

 

[VH]

ENFJ Life

ENFJ children want life to be cooperative, friendly, harmonious, and lively. They are often responsible children because they like to please others and meet their needs. In doing for others, they usually find satisfaction for themselves. They are upset by conflict or disharmony. They are pleasant, exuberant, and talkative. They enjoy social interaction.
ENFJ teenagers are constantly on the go, participating in many, many things. They enjoy a wide variety of activities, not only for that variety but also for the action and opportunity to be with others. If the ENFJ teenager is not involved in something, it is simply because he or she does not have the time or because the activity is of little seeming importance. ENFJs love being involved with friends, clubs, and any activities that let them be with others.
The ENFJ teenager may also get heavily involved in activities relating to school spirit. He or she may be active in pep rallies and in raising funds for school projects such as uniforms for the band or the football team. ENFJs are often voted most congenial or nicest person in their class. Additionally, they may serve as leaders in their school activities. As students, they are able to focus on the interpersonal spirit or nature of the school and to speak eloquently to others about the school's best values. ENFJs encourage not only school spirit but individuals as well. ENFJs are likable because they notice what is good about people.
As young adults, ENFJs set goals early on, both in the personal and professional realms. They follow through diligently and usually attain what they seek. Often the goals they set have to do with making society a better place for people. ENFJs may sometimes feel pulled between financial gain and spiritual gain.
ENFJs enjoy group activities and often rise to positions of leadership, particularly if the group activity is focused around meeting the future needs of people. Many ENFJs take their religious and community values seriously and want others to do the same. Loyalty, commitment, and responsibility are important values to ENFJs, even as children.
In adult life, ENFJs often settle into organizations that have a values orientation, or they will find a spot in an organization that is centered on values or people's needs. ENFJs make responsible spouses, employees, and community members. Because most ENFJs enjoy public speaking and seem to have a way with words, they are often asked to present the position of the groups to which they belong.
Some ENFJs report that at mid-life they seek situations for themselves where it is possible for them to turn inward. This often takes a structured form such as meditation, journaling, or, in some cases, even career changes.
In retirement, ENFJs are likely to want to settle geographically in an area where they have close personal relationships and/or close personal ties to a specific organization. The relationships and values that are important to the ENFJ become even more so in their retirement. Many ENFJs move from paid service work into voluntary service work in retirement. Believing that it is necessary to help others, they fulfill this responsibility gladly.
ENFJs feel alive and get much pleasure from meeting the needs of others. In retirement, they may need to take care to meet their own personal needs as well and to "relax and let others serve them."

 

[VH]

ENFJs in Love

For the ENFJ, love means flowers, poetry, candlelight dinners, in other words, romance with a capital R. When they first fall in love, they fall in love with an ideal perspective of what the relationship will be, and they fall deeply, head over heels. ENFJs value commitment and loyalty, and look for it from their partner.
They typically enjoy activities with their partners that allow them to discuss the relationship and focus on what each person truly believes. When commitments are broken, ENFJs become upset because they see the breakup as a personal reflection on them and because they have idealized the relationship. Since they are willing to put the time and effort into the relationship, they expect it will continue on as it was from the very start.
Relationships have their ups and downs; the downs, however, are particularly hard on the ENFJ, who does not manage disharmony well.
When scorned, ENFJs may be resentful, spiteful, and deeply hurt. Because they are acutely aware of emotional matters, they take the breakup of a relationship especially hard. They are willing to discuss the ending of the relationship with only a few others because they feel a sense of blame and shame for the relationship not working out.

 

[VH]

In contrast for those who are on the ENFJ / INFJ fence, here are the INFJ descriptions from the same source...

INFJ Life

INFJ children have two sides. They can be gregarious and very much involved in the world of people, as well as quiet, imaginative, and in their own world. INFJ children are gentle and often abhor violence, especially in their childhood games.

As teenagers, INFJs look for a small group of people who understand and appreciate them. Without this support, they can feel isolated from others. INFJs who do not find a supportive social group may find the teen years to be somewhat difficult for them because of peer pressure to be "popular" and activity oriented. They are not likely to enjoy large parties, but prefer intimate groups of close and long-standing friends. They may participate, and even lead, in such things as academic activities, yearbook, and newspaper, because these activities allow them to express outwardly their regard for others and enable them to exercise their creativity.

Many INFJs who have the opportunity gravitate toward higher education, where they often find their niche and "place in the sun". With their intellectual bent, they are led to endeavors that allow them to deal with theory and complexity. Professors often spot their intellectual inclination and encourage it.

INFJs often settle early into a career choice and diligently apply themselves to the career's requirements. This same diligent pattern applies when selecting other important things in their lives, such as where to live, who to marry, and what activities are worthy of their dedication.

INFJs have an internal picture of how they would like their work to contribute to the general good. INFJs are committed more to their ideas than to any individual organization. If they are in an appropriate career area, INFJs may reap the rewards of their insight and hard work. Because of their future-focus, their people orientation, and their push toward task completion, they may rise to positions of responsibility.

INFJs tend to believe that if their ideas are sound, those ideas will carry them through their lives. As a result, retirement will take care of itself. They may vary in the amount of actual planning they have done for this stage of their lives. INFJs look forward to nurturing family relationships, to grandchildren, and to seeing the foundations that they have made for themselves flourish. They anticipate the time when they can engage in hobbies without interruptions and have peace and quiet for reflection. Retirement also gives them the opportunity to become further involved in interests that they have developed over their lifetimes.

INFJs at Work

INFJs tend to be devoted to what they believe in and seek work where their needs, values, and ideals can be deeply engaged. They move on the wave of their inspirations and are determined to see that their values are worked out in their lives. They will work toward their goals individually and, when needed, will put together a team of other highly dedicated people like themselves.

They are personable with others, working with integrity and consistency, and they follow through on their commitments. INFJs, while concentrating on what is important to them, may ignore the political ramifications of their actions. They can be surprised by the necessity of being political and usually resent that aspect of organizational life. Being able to talk honestly and comfortably to people at work is much more important to them than "playing games."
Work Setting

INFJs prefer a quiet and organized work setting that allows them time and space for reflection, yet one in which it is possible to interact freely with others. Their offices may have a personal feel and be filled with mementos or photos involving persons or causes important to them. INFJs like to be around people who are strongly focused on making a difference to overall human well-being. They want opportunities to be creative.
Organizing Style

INFJs orient themselves toward their goals using a personal values based framework. They do not "advertise" their values and priorities because they believe in harmony and positive relationships. However, one would do well not to underestimate the amount of perseverance, energy, and time INFJs give to their priorities. What they do, they do with an almost religious intensity.

The INFJ external environment may be only partially organized. For example, INFJs may lose their glasses or misplace their car keys because they do not pay enough attention to organizing mundane, everyday things. Their internal environment, by contrast, is anything but haphazard. Their ideas need to fit into a coherent whole that has the pieces in place. Organization of the internal world takes precedence over organization of the external world. The external world will become organized if it is important to the INFJ's internal vision, if there is room for it, or if important people request it.
Occupations

To perform well at work, individuals may need to use all of the eight preferences at the appropriate time and when required by the situation. Knowing this, people tend to select occupations that allow them to use the preferences that are most natural to them.

INFJs prefer occupations that focus on the big picture, involve conceptual awareness, and lead to a better understanding of the spiritual, emotional, or future needs of people. They want their work to have impact and meaning and for it to bring them admiration and respect.

While INFJs can and do enter all occupations, some are more appealing to them than others. According to available research, some occupations (in alphabetical order) seem to be especially attractive to INFJs: clergy, education consultant, English teacher, fine arts teacher, librarian, marketeer, psychiatrist, psychologist, scientist, social worker, and other occupations that allow INFJs an opportunity to make their own creative contribution. These occupations are not meant to be an exhaustive list, but serve to illustrate some areas an INFJ might enjoy. If your specific occupation, or one that you are interested in, is not listed here, think instead of its generaL characteristics and ask yourself how those fit with your type.

INFJs in Love

For INFJs, "still waters run deep." They tend to become attracted to someone special and prefer this one deep relationship over many superficial ones. The depth of involvement and feeling that the INFJ has toward loved ones is only partially communicated outward. At times, when alone, the INFJs become truly in touch with the depth of the love they have for their partner.

They may not openly demonstrate, or even verbalize, their intense feelings. INFJs often have an ideal standard of what love is. They hold to their ideal and are disappointed when, inevitably, their relationship and/or their mate reveals flaws.

INFJs enjoy sharing activities like a regular "date," revisiting the place where they first met their mates, or doing other symbolic things that help to continue and confirm the existence of the bond that they feel for their partner.

INFJs want to give love and to be loved. They enter into relationships just to be cared for, even when the person is not right for them and they suspect it. However, when they meet that special person, they are quick to get into the relationship and make it a serious one. They will end their other relationships in order to pursue their loved one. They become very focused, intense, and direct in that pursuit.

INFJs, when scorned, take it personally and retreat inward. They may obsess about the relationship and their role in its failure. INFJs may blame themselves and experience a period of mourning. If they do not marshall their resources, externalize their feelings, and take risks to move on, they may experience a long period of self-examination.

 

[VH]

After reading those descriptions... INFJ is more accurate for me than ENFJ. Hmm... More proof of how much of an ENFJ / INFJ hybrid I am.

Edit: On second thought, nevermind. Even if I am an INFJ who has such a well developed Fe that I seem like an ENFJ, it doesn't matter because if I seem like an ENFJ that's my best fit type for others to understand me.

 

[VH]

I've done some thinking, Von, and I have some serious doubts about my ENFJness. There are a lot of things that just don't jive. For one, the dominant Fe.

Having read a number of ENFJ profiles and other forum testaments as to what ENFJ's are like, it's obvious that "people" are what an ENFJ is about. Building connections, teaching, preaching, saving the world, and upholding the ideals of a community... that isn't me. Of course, I care about people and I want those close to me to feel good and be happy, but it isn't my top priority. If I do utilize people-skills, they are to my own ends. I don't go out of my way for other people unless I like them. I'm not drawn to being the head of a social committee for the sake of being with people; I'd be drawn to being the head of a social committee because it would make me feel better about myself knowing that I had the ambition, the skills and the drive to be able to obtain it. Helping other people is just gravy. I'm more me-focused than anything else... and I wouldn't wither away if I lived like a hermit for the rest of my life.

Funny you should post this the day before three of my INTJs all hit me with the INFJ stick.

They systematically proved to me that I am an INFJ. Two of these INTJs know me very well. One of them knows me better than anyone. The third INTJ had never met me and was a very good outside opinion - as well as an MBTI expert (as in teaches a class on Jungian psychology at university... I could go on at length about picking this guy's brain, but that's another thread). They all agreed. When three INTJs agree. You can be pretty sure they are right.

The consensus was as interesting as how they came to their conclusions. It was obvious that I am an N an F and a J, so the debate focused on whether or not I am an I or an E.

I internalize and ponder a great deal, and can't get over something until I've figured it out for myself. Talking about it doesn't make me feel better, in fact it makes me feel worse if there is no resolution to the problem. Talking to someone who can help me figure it out does make me feel better, and that's why I love my INTJ friends because they are so good at helping me unravel what I cannot.

When I am hurt or angry, my initial response is to pull away and be alone until I can calm down. Once I begin to stop being overwhelmed, my next desire is to be alone with one other very trusted person who can comfort and counsole me.

An interesting point the new INTJ made was asking me what kind of MBTI type I seek most in those moments, and the answer was an INFJ or an INTJ. He asked why, and I said 'Because they understand me'. This is when he pointed out that's when people are looking for a mirror to reflect upon. Profound.

Next up was pointed out that I have IN-J pacing and timing to my thought process. My mind moves at the same rate and often to the same places as the IN-Js. I don't think at the same pace as EN-Js, which is something interesting they pointed out. Each dominant or secondary perception function has a pace at which they process information. For example, ENTPs and ENFPs both think at light speed. INFPs and INTPs both think at the same pace, which is quick, but kinda staggered with moments of ponder in between the bursts. INFJs and INTJs both have jumps of processing and tend to jump at the same times, often starting sentences at the exact same time. ENFJs and ENTJs do the same thing but have a smoothness and weaving to them rather than the IN-J jumps.

Lastly, they mentioned something that I had never really noticed before. Extroverts dump whatever is bothering them verbally on someone, and then they're fine. I don't do that at all. I internalize everything and ponder it until I have it figured out, and then I might just ponder it some more. I don't have that extrovert gift of letting it go once it's 'out there'. Even more so, I've always been an intensely private person, not wanting much about me to get 'out there'.

Put these together, and while I have a strong Fe, I start at Ni.

When I wake up, I'm Ni. My imagination is more important to be than helping people, and I regularly get lost in it when I should be paying attention to or helping others. This is without a doubt the first function I get and the last one I lose, proving it to be my primary.

My Fe doesn't get going until I wake up but takes reflexive precedence over my Ti, but not my Ni. If I have an intuition that I shouldn't help someone, I won't. If I have a logical reason not to help someone, I'm going to lean toward helping them if the two seem equal. The only time my Fe is online when I wake up is when I wake up fully refreshed with a lot of energy, aka I'm awake enough to get to my secondary function. Another proof that I'm not Fe dominant is that I'm just no good at politenesses, and I never have been. I try. I always forget and miss the timing cues. It's not that I don't care, I'm just too far into whatever my Ni is focusing on to catch the right moment to say the right phrase at the right time, and this is one of my biggest self criticisms. My Fe is always getting mad at my Ni for this, proving that my Ni runs this show, even though as a secondary function Fe really does care about people. It's the parent function.

My Ti gets going after that. I can form Fe rationalizations and reactions before I can problem solve. I've always thought this was kind of odd. Also, Ti is definitely my play function, proving it to be tertiary.

My Se is really only active when I'm wide awake, and is the first to go when I get tired. I can tinker with things most of the time, but the Se impetus is something that I have to be really awake to engage. My 'Go! Go! Go!' is only available in rare situations when I'm not fully awake and even then requires adrenalin. Working out doesn't really make me feel better psychologically, and I've read many times that tertiary Se will do that. I usually just feel like 'ok I got that out of the way'. I look forward to tinkering with my Ti. This really says to me that my Se is my inferior function. The descriptions of inferior Se fit me pretty spot on.

I think what I am is an INFJ with a strong Fe and a fairly solid Se when I need it, which give me the appearance of an ENFJ from time to time, even though I only aspire to this.

Again, this proves what I've thought for a long time. I'm just not as cool as an ENFJ. I'd love to be, but I'm not. I fake it well due to good function development, but my priorities are INFJ. I know ENFJs, and I just don't have that, not the way they do. I don't have their inherent Se 'get to itness'. I always ponder more than I act, and what direct Se-ness I have I've learned and developed because I got really tired of getting left behind and losing out. My Fe is also developed, though it came easier to me. The one thing I haven't had to develop is my Ni. It's always just been there.

(For the record, no ENFJ alive would ever have posted something as detailed as this. This much Ti would be to them like a really long work out would be for us - arduous, almost pointless, and only done when absolutely needed, and never 'for fun'.)

 

[Starry Night]

(For the record, no ENFJ alive would ever have posted something as detailed as this. This much Ti would be to them like a really long work out would be for us - arduous, almost pointless, and only done when absolutely needed, and never 'for fun'.)

Oh I had to laugh at this it just reminded me so much of my ENFJ friend. And it works with our Se just like with their Ti, she loves to go onto long walks and im always haggeling with her to make it shorter when we walk together. And her Ti shuts really down when shes tired.

I think this thread is sorta "done" but I just have to say: I LOVE ENFJs!!!!! Though INFJs are just as awesome so dont fret VH!

 

[VH]

Oh I had to laugh at this it just reminded me so much of my ENFJ friend. And it works with our Se just like with their Ti, she loves to go onto long walks and im always haggeling with her to make it shorter when we walk together. And her Ti shuts really down when shes tired.

I like to go on long walks at night, but I think it's much more to do with being alone and clearing my head than the exercise. Also, my Ti shuts down when I get tired... hehe, don't get me to questioning if I'm an ENFJ again, hehe. My Se shuts down way before my Ti does when I get tired.

I think this thread is sorta "done" but I just have to say: I LOVE ENFJs!!!!! Though INFJs are just as awesome so dont fret VH!

I love em too! I'm almost one myself (obviously from all the blathering on the subject), but the more I get to know them, the more I am realizing what a good match they are for me. While I tend to prefer someone who follows my lead, the ENFJ fire for life would be something that would be a great balance for me.

 

[Razare]

My younger sister who is 17 is an ENFJ. She's way more in touch with reality and sensory related things than I ever will be. I'm way smarter than she'll ever be, though. So it's a fair trade.

 

[Odyne]

*feels all so dizzy and confused* <--after reading the whole thread.

 

[VH]

*feels all so dizzy and confused* <--after reading the whole thread.

I know that feeling. Sorry I helped contribute to it.

 

[Odyne]

I know that feeling. Sorry I helped contribute to it.

haha, no worries. It gave me so much insight tho.

I think I have confirmed that a girl I know is an ENFJ, instead of an INFJ. She always always puts people and how they feel first, almost to the detriment of her own feelings. This is something I don't share. I care about other's people's feelings, but I think that my feelings come first. However, I am much more outgoing and comfortable in social situations than she is, and I absolutely loove to mingle with people. Not when I am tired tho. I need to be alone when I am tired or stressed to clear out my thoughts.

Aaand because of all this contradiction, I have giving up on the I vs. E matter, and decided to only keep my other 3 letters. NFJ