Dos and Don'ts of Interacting With An Introvert | INFJ Forum

Dos and Don'ts of Interacting With An Introvert

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by Holden On, Jun 29, 2010.

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  1. Holden On

    Holden On Community Member

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    I found this a couple of years ago at thecanalsblog, which now, unfortunately, seems to be defunct.

    I copied an abridged version... there were a few more items on the list, but these were the ones that felt most pertinent to me. Now I wish I'd have copied the entire list, since the blog is gone!!


    DOs and DON


     
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  2. Russ84

    Russ84 Community Member

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  3. OshunsDaughter

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    I love that comment, mind much if I borrow it :)
     
  4. enfp can be shy

    enfp can be shy people vs the bad people?
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    This is good, but sounds more IxxJ, than IxxP. Actually I think it best applies to INxJs, and the characteristics of the other 6 of the 8 introverted types are bit different.

    Even moreso, I'd claim this applies better to xNxJ in general, regardless of i/e, meaning that ENFJs and ENTJs also relate to at least half of those points. NJs prefer to communicate in well scheduled, well thought manner, and are annoyed by those who waste their time or disturb them, without the proper preparation and arrangements. The extroverts handle this a bit better than the introverts, but they also dislike it as much, from what I've seen, and those are their secret thoughts too. --> It may sound counter-intuitive perhaps, but seems the introverted NJs are more likely to tell this, and clear it out, while the extroverted NJs are confident enough to indirectly get rid of you, without even telling how much you annoyed them (because this ends up the more efficient approach).
     
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    #4 enfp can be shy, Jun 29, 2010
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2010
  5. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
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    I am an introvert, but this list only applies to me somewhat in very specefic circumstances. Really if I want to be alone, I seek it out and get it. The only other cardinal rule is do not embaress me in public. I do not do well with it at all.
     
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  6. OP
    Holden On

    Holden On Community Member

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  7. Russ84

    Russ84 Community Member

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    By all means, I have no intention of getting a copyright on it ;)
     
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  8. Norton

    Norton XXXX

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    The worst is sitting on an airplane next to a voluble extrovert who won't shut up.
     
  9. OP
    Holden On

    Holden On Community Member

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    Oooh, yeah, that's bad! And no matter how many times you try to go back to your book, they don't get the hint! :)
     
  10. Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    Eww that would suck.
     
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  11. MindYourHead

    MindYourHead Courage doesn't always roar.

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    DON'T put me in the spotlight and make me the center of attention. You will pay dearly later. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But you will pay.
     
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  12. Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    Yes and don't embarrass me or I'll lick your arse.
     
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    #12 Blind Bandit, Jun 29, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 30, 2010
  13. Norton

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    I exhibited introversion early. At my fourth birthday party, when they started to sing happy birthday, I ran under the table and wouldn't come out. I've been avoiding the spotlight ever since.
     
  14. MindYourHead

    MindYourHead Courage doesn't always roar.

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    On about my 12th birthday it happened to me at a restaurant.
    You know, when the restaurant staff gather around and do a song and dance because it's your birthday.
    The horror!
     
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    #14 MindYourHead, Jun 29, 2010
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  15. Russ84

    Russ84 Community Member

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    I have always had problems with "spotlight" as well, which is kinda weird since I use to be a Music major and had to perform solos on stage. It was sort of nerve-racking, but they were very rewarding experiences as well.
     
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    #15 Russ84, Jun 29, 2010
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  16. OshunsDaughter

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    Ug, oh yes, horrible. The kind of horrible where I used to imagine me blowing them up with a District 9 type rail gun thing. I have found a way to make it fun if a person continues to talk and I have already given 'the hint'.

    These days, and I know is not nice to play in people minds in this way, BUT they asked for it. I start questioning them on their live choices, family style, whatever ammo given to me and the conversation ends when I have them questioning the sanity of the decisions they have made over there lifetime thus far. Granted a few have said thanks but the rest, I suspect they were angry with me and thinking about what they should do next in their life.

    - Mayhap this is the 'evil' genius in me. Deep down I know it is wrong because the didn't ask for the kick start in the personal growth department. However, in a more optimistic view; why would the universe hook us up if not for that purpose? Hmm, I am feeling conflicted now...dammit!
     
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  17. VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

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    This is funny. I lol'd a good bit. I think the only problems I had with this list is that I'm too nice. If someone wants someone to listen to them, I'll be more than happy to offer an ear. If someone wants to someone to talk to them, I'll talk their ear off.I have such a hard time denying someone's needs especially when they are simple. Just don't expect me to step outside of my own head quickly, and for the love of goodness don't expect me to play the politeness game in short measure. Man, I always forget to say hello, goodbye, introduce people, etc.until it's too late in the conversation to do so.

    DOs and DON’Ts of Interacting With an Introvert


    From http://thecanalsblog.com

    1. DON’T talk to me before I’ve had my coffee. Caffeine is an introvert’s best friend. I have just as much energy as the next guy, but talking requires a ton.

    2. DO say hello. Just don’t say
    much else. As much as I may love you, I wasn’t planning on seeing you on the street. If I had something to say to you besides hello, I would’ve scheduled a lunch or something.

    3. DON’T talk to me if I don’t know you. Trust me, if you like awkward, empty conversations with strangers, we have nothing in common.

    4. DON’T make conversation in a line of any sort. Talking in lines should be illegal. There’s no clearer example of a situation where I set out to do something that did not include having a conversation. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to change my plans for lunch after seeing someone I know in line. I wish it were socially acceptable to wear a huge cardboard box while waiting in line. If you see me, pretend I am.

    5. DON’T tell me I don’t go out enough. You don’t stay in enough. My room is my sanctuary. I’d love to spend time with you here. I have no interest in moving to a location with people I don’t know, where I’ll have to stand up, where I’ll have to yell to be heard, where no one has any interest in talking about anything anyone really cares about, and where it’s probably too warm.

    6. DON’T call me “serious.” For some reason, it’s taboo to say anything thoughtful in a group setting. I can’t tell you how many times someone has responded to me with something like “Wow Danny, you’ve really thought that through,” and then chuckled, as if I were some sort of novelty. Of course I’ve thought it through, or I wouldn’t have said it.

    7. DO embrace silence. If there’s nothing worth talking about, everyone’s time is better spent thinking. Most silences aren’t awkward, unless you’re just an awkward person.
     
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    #17 VH, Jun 29, 2010
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2010
  18. Gaze

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    Love this one.
     
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  19. dark_angel

    dark_angel Community Member

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    same here :D
     
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  20. bamf

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    I have a love/hate thing with being the center of attention. I love being on stage and being the center of attention, but I hate celebrating birthdays with my close family. When at a party I hope there is a guitar so everyone will look at me, when hanging out with my best friends, I want nothing more than to be in a corner.

    I don't get it.
     
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