[INFJ] Do you value being loved or being understood higher?

And what about in your interpersonal relationships? The above scenario only describes your relationship withing society as a whole. Just curious.

 

Uhm...both?

I believe Love is born from a deeper Understanding,
something beyond just a feeling of caring or adoration.
But Understanding is more theoretical, while Love is more 'applied'.

So in a way, I think Understanding is passive Love,
while Love is active Understanding.
If that makes sense.

 

This is precisely how I feel.

Thank you. Lol ;P I'm waiting .. *cough cough*


To me, love involves a mental connection which involves emotions and good connection and interplay between those things. Active, smooth communication and reciprocation of thoughts, and emotions to indent them. Otherwise, I can be civil with you like I am with any other person, but that doesn't constitute some kind of special connection, to me. Otherwise, at most I'm just sitting around taking soma or having fun in company and that temporary experience will pass and be over, and I'll have another silly memory under my belt which to me frankly is time not well spent if not tempered with considerable amounts of time actually bonding with and getting to know someone intimately, and through that growing to like them more and more.

Look, what I think is that if you truly love someone, you automatically do these things and what I described is just a breakdown of the underlying mechanism of it. If one loves, one understands that it need not be so painstakingly defined. But I think that in every mutually fulfilling relationship, all of that is what is involved. If you are willing to understand in its purest and most open minded sense, that means you're willing to accept and that is the starting place for love. And if you're a person who is willing to love, then from that naturally should come a desire to truly and fully understand your subject of love and your emotions. Humans are complex; nothing's black and white. The fact that we are capable of both, and can grow, and moreover help one another to grow, is the beauty of it all. Sometimes frustrating, but usually eventually very rewarding.

 

[MENTION=13855]JJJA[/MENTION]... same question.

 

Thanks for that hefty dose of reality, Free. Lol. I guess I kind of agree. But if I can't have both, I'll choose being understood over love.

 

I value being loved. Though being understood is nice, doesn’t mean you would achieve the same levels of respect, admiration and acceptance as being loved in a deeper and spiritual sense.

 

Being understood is important to me, but being loved is more valuable. Those who love us want to understand us, accept when they don't understand us, want to share their lives with us, and have our best interests at heart.


You could go your entire life rejecting people who don't understand you and end up very lonely. Or you could fill your life with people who love you and want to understand you, even when they don't.

 

Loved.

A life missing love is miserable and aimless.

 

Being loved.

 

I love you.

 

TL;DR

I didn't think they were mutually exclusive.

 

If there is a choice loved. At one point I would have said understood, but this is not enough. It can feel great to be validated by someone who understands you, but understanding doesn't mean someone cares or will stick around to be there for you. Someone may not fully understand you, but yet they are there for you, supporting you, making sure you're ok. They can offer comfort, sympathy, and affection despite not fully understanding you. Yes, it's nice to have both but if there is a choice, it's loved.

 

I love you too, baby.