[INFJ] - Do you value being loved or being understood higher? | Page 7 | INFJ Forum

[INFJ] Do you value being loved or being understood higher?

Discussion in 'Philosophy and Religion' started by Kelly, Jan 5, 2015.

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  1. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    There's a lot to go into with this question, I think. First, what is love?

    I still don't see the two as being separate in a romantic partnership though I see what you mean. I think understanding is important for deepening bonds and strengthening relationships. I think for a healthy and fulfilling relationship you need both. As I said, it can take years to get to a clear understanding but so long as people are interested and put in the effort to learn and grow together and understand one another it just deepens and sustains the bond.

    In my mind, it's difficult to separate the two in a romantic partnership. I can't say either/or and I question why anyone would need to anyway. They are both equally important to me. But I also don't expect that people can completely understand one another. We are individuals who do experience things in different ways that can't always be explained.
    .
     
    #121 acd, Aug 4, 2020
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2020
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  2. Ren

    Ren Pin's android / The Maker / ≅ INFP

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    I have come to strongly believe that this question cannot be answered in any satisfactory way.

    There is nothing in here that I don't agree with. Honestly, I think we agree but are just looking at the issue from slightly different perspectives.

    You can understand someone without loving them, but you can't love someone without understanding them. Maybe we could say that love is to be valued higher because it goes beyond understanding, or we could say that both are to be valued equally because it is not clear how one can be loved without being (at least largely) understood. So even though I don't think the question is meaningless, I think it is somewhat trivial because a healthy individual likely won't spend much time pondering which one they value more. They will just pursue both equally.
     
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  3. G4RiiM

    G4RiiM Well-known member

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    love.. if someone loves me without understanding, they might love me unconditionally.. if thats the case they might understand me eventually
     
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  4. slant

    slant Sedated slanty

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    By other people? Loved over understanding because I'm the only person who will ever fully understand myself. Looking to others for that is faulty. Love, I also give that to myself. So I'm not seeking either from others.

    I would argue what I seek from others is acceptance.
     
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  5. Themis

    Themis Community Member

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    Understanding is love
    Understanding is to be the other person to see the world with his eyes,to make the effort to think more deeply to connect with him
    If i were loved i would be also understood.
    I think these two coming together
     
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  6. Ren

    Ren Pin's android / The Maker / ≅ INFP

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    Really? Can't there be understanding without love?

    I might love many more people than I thought then :p
     
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  7. Wyote

    Wyote Xenoi
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    Or understand fewer than you think [​IMG]
     
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  8. Ren

    Ren Pin's android / The Maker / ≅ INFP

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    Damn you got me lol
     
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  9. Hostarius

    Hostarius Gimme that WOAD

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    Would you rather have a main battle tank or an attack helicopter?

    Well, an attack helicopter, I guess, but having either is a kind of foolish pipe dream.
     
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  10. Wyote

    Wyote Xenoi
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  11. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    Why limit yourselves!? Love and be understood. Understand and love.
     
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  12. Themis

    Themis Community Member

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    With Love i mean something more deep. I find that the word Love is stigmatized from the society, for me has a total different meaning. The greek language separates Love-αγαπη from Eros-Ερως
    is the unconditional love and the love i have for the things that you give me
     
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  13. Ren

    Ren Pin's android / The Maker / ≅ INFP

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    Sure, but this doesn't change the fact that you can have understanding without love.

    I agree with you that love can have many meanings, though.
     
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    #133 Ren, Aug 4, 2020
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2020
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  14. Themis

    Themis Community Member

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    The fact is that understanding it self is an act of love
     
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  15. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Love Often & Absolutely ♡
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    A submarine vessel.
     
  16. Ren

    Ren Pin's android / The Maker / ≅ INFP

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    Very romantic. :wink:
     
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  17. Hostarius

    Hostarius Gimme that WOAD

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    Wow you're even more cynical than I am, lmao.
     
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  18. Hostarius

    Hostarius Gimme that WOAD

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    Spaceship vs submarine was one of my original options, but then I thought 'nah those things are too hard to get.'
     
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  19. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    Do not settle for less than the attack helicopter of love and the battle tank of understanding :laughing:
    Love is a battlefield.
     
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  20. Hostarius

    Hostarius Gimme that WOAD

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    How did you know that the attack helicopter was love?
    [​IMG]
     
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