I have done many many tests and they all turn out INFJ. From personal experience, I think people often misunderstand me and so they perceive me as cold or being difficult. There are few people who understand but many who do not. I often get disinterested when people talk about things like what beautiful bags or shoes they buy, what stocks they are buying or selling, the details of their skiing.... etc. I will try hard to listen but somehow it feels like I am listening but not really absorbing what they are saying. But when people talk to me about how they feel, when they share with me their thoughts, ideas, philosophies, emotions, experiences, I become interested and easily drawn to the conversation. It really depends on how the other people are. I am usually perceived as quiet, not because I don't enjoy talking. I actually like to talk and share things with others but I am quiet and hence "cold" when I know the other party probably won't understand or be interested in what I say. Sometimes, it's also for self-protection if I know the other party is likely going to gossip or slander. It's like there's a lot you want to share, a lot that you care about but not many people you feel truly safe to confide in. And when you do, you tend to wear your emotions on your sleeve such that people find you unprofessional, too emotional, too sensitive, too difficult, etc, etc. You then learn to keep it to yourself until you find someone who really understands, someone you can trust which takes time.
Last edited:
I'm often viewed as quiet, serious, reserved, aloof/detached.. and socially oblivious (aloof?). And I don't really like that perception - especially the "oblivious", because I feel that I am often really not. Whereas people who are always smiling seem so easily approachable and seem to have an easier time socially.
