I try to recognize my part in the problem, outside of that not really. Problem are rarely one-sided.
blaming yourself for everything
- Thread starter Grey Wolf
- Start date
I do blame myself for a lot of things, I say sorry many times, even when it's not necessary (and people can also be really sensitive and I want to make sure I didn't hurt their feelings).
This is a tricky one. Usually there is a part of my mind whispering "No no no, this will only add to the confusion, and it will backfire in the long run.", but I don't listen to that.
i do blame myself for some things sometimes, sometimes rightfully, and sometimes because i'm giving someone the benefit of the doubt, i'm trying to do it less, however, because sometimes it gets to me, and i know deep down that its really not my fault sometimes, i just don't like blaming others for some things. partly because i think everything happens for a reason. and partly because i feel like i should give others excuses sometimes. nobody's perfect.
Yeah, I do this a lot. I've never really been able to understand emotional reactions and such very well, so I always assume it was something I said that came across as insensitive or some such and thus was my fault.
yes! but working on trying no to blame myself on things that arent my fault and working on recognizing them!
Yes. I've only very slowly come to terms with the fact that my blame barometer is slanted to my side. It doesn't mean I'm right or wrong, good or bad, just that I blame myself.
me too. I always find something that isn't good enough.
untill quite recently I thought I was not perfectionistic at all. But then my therapist has pointed out that I might be, and it became clear to me that I'm very perfectionistic. It is like I'm not allowed to make mistakes. En when I try not to feel guilty for something, I'm still afraid that other people will judge me on that and also on the fact that I try not to feel guilty when I should. And the stupid thing is: a lot of times other people do blame me for something I shouldn't be blamed for (my father is realy good at that)
it is sick isn't it
untill quite recently I thought I was not perfectionistic at all. But then my therapist has pointed out that I might be, and it became clear to me that I'm very perfectionistic. It is like I'm not allowed to make mistakes. En when I try not to feel guilty for something, I'm still afraid that other people will judge me on that and also on the fact that I try not to feel guilty when I should. And the stupid thing is: a lot of times other people do blame me for something I shouldn't be blamed for (my father is realy good at that)
it is sick isn't it
me too. I always find something that isn't good enough.
untill quite recently I thought I was not perfectionistic at all. But then my therapist has pointed out that I might be, and it became clear to me that I'm very perfectionistic. It is like I'm not allowed to make mistakes. En when I try not to feel guilty for something, I'm still afraid that other people will judge me on that and also on the fact that I try not to feel guilty when I should. And the stupid thing is: a lot of times other people do blame me for something I shouldn't be blamed for (my father is realy good at that)
it is sick isn't it
I had the same issue. I had no idea I was a perfectionist until somebody pointed it out to me.
Totally relate.
Wow, yes, I do have a bad habit of doing that. Even if I am indirectly related to the problem, I still start beating myself up over it and blaming myself for the problem.
Today i got a message from a friend on facebook who I haven't heart of for a while, asking me how I was doing. And instead of just being happy that she thought of me, no I felt guilty because I have been neclecting her. :loco:
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