Being Drawn to People | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Being Drawn to People

vegaSagev said:
What is fascinating to me is the argument I have with myself about whether or not the other person is having the same feeling and if they are, do they know that I know that they know...

It's an intense moment and sometimes lasts for a little while for me, even when they are gone.
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I wonder the same thing vega. I always want to know if the other person is seeing things the way I'm seeing them, and then I have to censor myself to make sure that I'm not letting on what I'm thinking because I think they know what I'm thinking. Then it just gets too complicated.

But that same feeling definitely lingers for me. It can last weeks. I don't know what it is.
 
We're all just creepers. You can't deny it!

*goes stalking some more*
 
I'm drawn to people who aren't drawn to me at first. I need to step back, take a breath, and wait 3-4 weeks before they also figure out we should be best friends/lovers/conspirators/dire enemies.
 
Does it usually happen to be the gender you are attracted to? And someone within the range or romantic possibility or is it a more universal thing where it could be some draw having nothing to do with chemistry?
 
Being drawn to people you don't know is a sign. Listen to it and don't question it (unless it gets real creepy, of course.) A higher power is at play, the draw you feel is the method of communication it utilizes.
 
Also, I've been that person at the other end several times, helping other people through their problems. It wasn't always suicide, that was just one case, but I have met people online in very dark places. While not able to completely coax them out of it, as a friend, I can at least stabilize them enough to cope with things. Out of the three friends I have had like this, two of them have moved on and we no longer communicate. They have gone on to happier lives and I am grateful I never hear from them. I am happy for them, but it does leave you a little bit lonely sometimes. :)

I still have one friend I am working with, and we're probably going to be best friends for life even if he does become happier. I've never spoke to him in person, which is strange, but we are as close as two straight men can ever be. It's funny too because the days I am happy, are the days he is sad, so I cheer him up. The days I am miserable are the days he's happy to cheer me up.
 
sandra_b said:
Do you ever feel drawn to people you don't know? Do you ever feel like when you see someone, you just HAVE to know them and you don't know why?
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honestly? no.
 
Lumi Spitsbergen said:
I'm drawn to people who aren't drawn to me at first. I need to step back, take a breath, and wait 3-4 weeks before they also figure out we should be best friends/lovers/conspirators/dire enemies.
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LOL. I usually have to step back to because I catch myself being ridiculous about it and I don't want to embarrass myself.

Does it usually happen to be the gender you are attracted to? And someone within the range or romantic possibility or is it a more universal thing where it could be some draw having nothing to do with chemistry?
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For me it happens most often with men, but also with women. It's not usually seeking a romantic relationship, it's just really wanting to know that person an feeling like there is a real possibility that we could have an incredible friendship or even a relationship if it works out that way.

Razare: It's the same for me. I find that people flock to me especially online. I don't know what it is, but every friendship I've made has been with someone who has some really deep rooted issues. I don't mind. I like being helpful and getting them back on track. A lot of the times it is very emotionally draining depending on how depressed the person is, but more often than not, things tend to work out for them in the end.
 
I have the same feeling about strangers all the time, but I hardly ever follow through on it.

For others that have this experience...do you know what your intuition is picking up on?
 
I couldn't begin to guess what my intuition is getting up to when I experience this. Sometimes I think it must be urging me to actually get to know the person in question. Other times it could just be my imagination developing a personality around this physical being and thinking I may be right about it. But I haven't figured it out.
 
I get these feelings on a rare occasion, but I never seem to follow through with it. The one thing that really intimidates me for some reason is meeting new people. I preform for groups of people, small talk with anyone who talks to me, but when it comes to actually initiating the first conversation I completely freeze up. Add on top of that this feeling of needing to meet them, and I shut down and clam up.
 
I know what you're saying MF. As soon as I have any feeling towards the person in question, it's like I no longer know how to have a conversation. Damn feelings!
 
sandra_b said:
I know what you're saying MF. As soon as I have any feeling towards the person in question, it's like I no longer know how to have a conversation. Damn feelings!
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Exactly! It's like that video where they're doing brain surgery asking the guy to count or something, and then poke the part of his brain that is responsible in some way for speech or numbers and he starts babbling. I feel like that guy.
 
I wonder if this is an F/NF thing.

I mean, if I get drawn to someone, it's always after I've been able to see something that I admire or like about that person. I have to have been able to see how they express themselves or how they think about things. Even then, the one time I remember actually going towards someone who I found particularly captivating it ended up just as an okay friendship.

Not saying that I couldn't learn to tune into this, but it's currently pretty foreign to me.
 
yeah it could be an NF thing. I'm not 100% sure. But I'd like to know so I can cut it out!
 
I see people sometimes and feel similar somehow to them, but often discount it as a simultaneous awareness both notice. I also think my being aware may just be in my own mind sometimes. I feel out of my environment approaching them.

I often wonder why I feel this way regarding someone say at a grocery store, one person out of ten or fifteen visits, but usually keep to myself.

Funny how analytical my mind can become regarding this, leading me to say a short passing "hello" to the next person I see; only to have them not say anything back.

Some folk don't know how much they can make a person's day by just saying something and smiling.

It is great to feel a bit connected online with someone, making life easier to accept.
 
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I get this but also in the opposite fashion. I'll meet new people but have a bad gut feeling about them. I can usually tell when I won't get along with someone.

Most recently this happened at a family reunion. I met one of my older cousins who I never really clicked with. All the sudden I felt like we needed to talk. We went outside and just talked about life and hobbies for about 30 minutes. I felt refreshed and had the impression he had alot on his mind lately.
 
I get gut instincts about people. Some people seem attractive to me and as such, I try to get to know them. Some people seem toxic to me and I avoid them.
 
Reon said:
I get gut instincts about people. Some people seem attractive to me and as such, I try to get to know them. Some people seem toxic to me and I avoid them.
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I do the same. Sometimes I get a horribly creepy vibe from people and I stay away at all costs. I judge people a lot based on these types of feelings, even if I know in a few cases they are not accurate.
 
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