Are you single??? or not???
- Thread starter Spiritual Leo
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I'm totally single and (usually) love it - been that way for almost 8 years now. I guess in my head I want to figure myself out before I drag anyone else in. I think I actually believe that as long as I'm not perfect and my partner isn't perfect, the relationship won't work out. Not true, obviously but there it is. I'm recently of the mind that feeling like you need something is sometimes a bad time to have it. I want to work out a bit more clearly what I want to do in my life first and learn to be a bit more open at the same time. Awkward balance that.
My INFJ and I have been happily married for 35 years, so I've known her more than ten years longer than I didn't. When you have a partner, you've chosen a path that's different from being single and, thus, your future is likely different from what it would be had you remained single. But, it's not necessarily better. Life is full of possibilities and how you live it, with courage or fear, is a choice.
I think I'll be the colorful old spinster down the street living with a bunch of cats.
^This, except replace cats with dog, and kids who are trying to drive me insane.
It's hard for me to find someone to date. I'm stuck in "bubbaland" where most guys only know 4 subjects: guns, trucks, beer, and sex. Bleh. People tell me to "get out there and meet someone"...ok, when? Between my kids and school, I don't have time. I think it would be pointless anyway...I have yet to find a guy who wants an introverted, overweight, divorced chick with 3 kids...let alone one who could handle my boys' behavior and mental issues...who isn't an abusive piece of crap just looking for someone desperate enough to put up with their bullshit. So, until I find one who isn't an abusive piece of crap, single I be.
I've been single for 2 months and have been dating a lot, and then some I have 1 girl in mind I like, she's really bright and very fun... but she is in almost the same identical position I am with her life, and her ex, so we are both kind of wounded little puppies or whatever. I like her a lot, but I need more me time to be independent, and she definitely does too because I dont want the specter of either of our exes ever being an issue. So I mean, my plan is to kind of just do my own thing and work a lot and keep dating around but also get closer to her in the next few months and give us time to find our own rhythm absent the beats and chorus of our pasts. This also gives me time to figure out how I feel. And when and if the time is right we will know it and do that together. But in the mean time, its game on.
I have 1 girl in mind I like, she's really bright and very fun... but she is in almost the same identical position I am with her life, and her ex, so we are both kind of wounded little puppies or whatever. I like her a lot, but I need more me time to be independent, and she definitely does too because I dont want the specter of either of our exes ever being an issue. So I mean, my plan is to kind of just do my own thing and work a lot and keep dating around but also get closer to her in the next few months and give us time to find our own rhythm absent the beats and chorus of our pasts. This also gives me time to figure out how I feel. And when and if the time is right we will know it and do that together. But in the mean time, its game on.
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You can't be single when you have 2 cats. We are very happy. This is our future.
You can't be single when you have 2 cats. We are very happy. This is our future.
1. Are you single or not???
I'm single.
2. Do you plan on dating soon??
I've been dating on and off the past year but I haven't been in a relationship in a while.
3. Do any of you go through these issues with dating?
Yeah. I'm a complete homebody so I usually only go out once a week, if that. When I do go out, it's with friends I'm familiar with. I used to be against wanting a serious relationship years ago but in some ways I like the idea. I'm just looking for the right person. If it happens, it happens. I'm in no hurry to find someone since I've always been fiercely independent. I'm sure that's most of my downfall since I value my independence and space.
4. Is it hard for you to approach someone other than in a book store?(Lolz)
I'm very reserved and guarded so I think people find me hard to approach. I usually have to be in a friendly mood to mingle with others. If I don't feel like initiating conversation then I act busy so others don't approach me. When I've made new friends, I've always been the first one to approach them. The hard thing is that I usually observe people before I do, so they have to be superrr interesting for me to talk to them.
I'm single.
2. Do you plan on dating soon??
I've been dating on and off the past year but I haven't been in a relationship in a while.
3. Do any of you go through these issues with dating?
Yeah. I'm a complete homebody so I usually only go out once a week, if that. When I do go out, it's with friends I'm familiar with. I used to be against wanting a serious relationship years ago but in some ways I like the idea. I'm just looking for the right person. If it happens, it happens. I'm in no hurry to find someone since I've always been fiercely independent. I'm sure that's most of my downfall since I value my independence and space.
4. Is it hard for you to approach someone other than in a book store?(Lolz)
I'm very reserved and guarded so I think people find me hard to approach. I usually have to be in a friendly mood to mingle with others. If I don't feel like initiating conversation then I act busy so others don't approach me. When I've made new friends, I've always been the first one to approach them. The hard thing is that I usually observe people before I do, so they have to be superrr interesting for me to talk to them.
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The thing about relationships is that you can have one and still do other things. Like if you have a b/f you can still do things like go to school, study, read, ignore him, etc. If you just cant find someone who likes to talk about regular things, okay... but if you are pushing people away because you feel they are encroaching on your independence, that is problematic and is probably more your problem than something caused by the other person.
I get this when I've been bad. Yeah, and I probably deserve it, too. The INFJ is always right.
Are you single or not???
-technically not . . . no labels
Do you plan on dating soon??
Do any of you go through these issues with dating?
- yeah, usually shy. Not one to put myself out there. I know I attract the wrong type of person but whatcha gonna do. I'm not in the habit of waiting for the perfect person anymore. My attitude is start dating, and see where it goes.
Is it hard for you to approach someone other than in a book store?(Lolz)
- I met the person I'm with in a coffee shop in a bookstore so. . . yeah
-technically not . . . no labels
Do you plan on dating soon??
Do any of you go through these issues with dating?
- yeah, usually shy. Not one to put myself out there. I know I attract the wrong type of person but whatcha gonna do. I'm not in the habit of waiting for the perfect person anymore. My attitude is start dating, and see where it goes.
Is it hard for you to approach someone other than in a book store?(Lolz)
- I met the person I'm with in a coffee shop in a bookstore so. . . yeah
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I guess I'll answer this for serious.
Are you single or not???
Single.
Do you plan on dating soon??
I don't think so.
Do any of you go through these issues with dating?
Ohhh, I don't really date. I "connect." Then I disconnect... I don't really like the "dating" game.
Is it hard for you to approach someone other than in a book store?(Lolz)
I usually don't notice people around me to approach them. I kind of go through my day to day life ignoring most of everyone around me. I suppose if I were to see someone regularly in a store or something and they caught my eye I'd make effort to initiate conversation. I'm not sure though.
I pick the one I want and move in for the kill.
Lol this generally what I do, and prefer to do. I tend to target guys that I also think I'll be compatable with, or at least have high hopes.
I enjoy being in a loving relationship more than I do being single. But those are rare to come by. Dating guys I can't bring myself to be particularly emotionally invested in is emotionally equivalent to being single, for me. I'm an extrovert, so the rest of the aspects of dating don't really have much of an impact on me or my life's schedule.
