Are you single??? or not??? | INFJ Forum

Are you single??? or not???

Spiritual Leo

Spiritual Leo

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Apr 14, 2011
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I have been single for some time now and I really think that it is due to my introversion. I have been asked out by a good amount of people in college, both men and women, but I can't bring myself into a relationship. I think that I really want to wait until I earn my degree in another year before I attempt dating. The thing that worries me about dating is that I am horrible with "Small Talk" and I'd really rather talk about something significant over small talk.

I seem to gravitate more toward the nerdy kind of girls over the "Hott" type of girl. Phyical attributes don't mean much to me; emotional compatability is more important.... So I am, for the most part, a personality person.

Are you single or not???

Do you plan on dating soon??

Do any of you go through these issues with dating?

Is it hard for you to approach someone other than in a book store?(Lolz)
 
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I seem to gravitate more toward the nerdy kind of girls over the "Hott" type of girl. Phyical attributes don't mean much to me; emotional compatability is more important.... So I am, for the most part, a personality person.


Are you single or not???

Do you plan on dating soon??

Do any of you go through these issues with dating?

Is it hard for you to approach someone other than in a book store?
Click to expand...

I think nerds are hot.

I'm single, but I plan on dating as soon as I know where I will be living and can go there. I go through some of those issues with dating, but really I think it is okay to try and find people who aren't so concerned with small talk. I'm terrible at small talk, but you can talk about other things with people.

Wow, you must be hot stuff.

It is really hard to approach people period. I have an incredibly difficult time approaching any girl I like.
 
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Spiritual Leo said:
Are you single or not???

Do you plan on dating soon??

Do any of you go through these issues with dating?

Is it hard for you to approach someone other than in a book store?(Lolz)
Click to expand...

I am single.

I plan on dating whenever it is I meet someone I like enough to date.

The concept of dating is a hard one for me to accept. It feels too much like a mandatory, somewhat arbitrarily conceived trial one has to go through to find a partner. Dates can be very uncomfortable if you're out with the wrong person. But, I can see the practicality in it, too. In that sense, it is a good system for bringing a couple together.

I have a relatively easy time approaching people. I've built up enough confidence by now to feel comfortable in my own skin, and people seem to respond to that. I'm still pretty quiet, most of the time, but I can socialize when needed-- and I'm not too bad at it, either. It's said that INFJs are often mistaken for extroverts because of Fe. Well, I see it at times.
 
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Dragon said:
I think herds are hot.

I'm single, but I plan on dating as soon as I know where I will be living and can go there. I go through some of those issues with dating, but really I think it is okay to try and find people who aren't so concerned with small talk. I'm terrible at small talk, but you can talk about other things with people.

Wow, you must be hot stuff.

It is really hard to approach people period. I have an incredibly difficult time approaching any girl I like.
Click to expand...

Yes, I agree with you on this. I personally would like to know where I am in life before I jump into anything serious. If it comes down to it, I can do small talk but I would lose interest in that person really fast. I enjoy having rich meaningful conversations instead of conversations about what the trend is.

Hot stuff... Pleaaasseee I look like a girl

Look toward the middle area hahahaha http://www.infjs.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17756&page=7
 
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Single 4 liffeeeee
 
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Single. For a long time. (Sort of.) Because I'm introverted and can't bring myself to "get out there" and meet people. I guess I'm waiting for the right guy to just magically show up on my front door step some day? My friends think I'm the type to meet the one at the grocery store after blindly running into him by complete freak accident. o_O

I think I'll be the colorful old spinster down the street living with a bunch of cats. :)
 
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sweaverit said:
Single. For a long time. (Sort of.) Because I'm introverted and can't bring myself to "get out there" and meet people. I guess I'm waiting for the right guy to just magically show up on my front door step some day? My friends think I'm the type to meet the one at the grocery store after blindly running into him by complete freak accident. o_O

I think I'll be the colorful old spinster down the street living with a bunch of cats. :)
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Hahaha- I like your friends and I don't even know them :) I think it's really hard to meet someone to be compatable with because a lot of people seem to just care for themselves. It's sad, but it's the truth. Your friends made a good point when they said that you will probably meet "the one" accidently because I think the best relationships start out accidently.

Instead of cats, I'd like to be the weird loner guy with all the birds surrounding him outside.
 
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Spiritual Leo said:
I think it's really hard to meet someone to be compatable with because a lot of people seem to just care for themselves. It's sad, but it's the truth.
Click to expand...

Exactly!

Birds are beautiful. :m096:
 
I've been single for five years, and I'll date when I find someone who I would want to. Chances of that happening soon? Pretty slim, but I won't knock on it. My main issues that I have had with dating are due to the guy not being able to handle my calmness. It scares them.
 
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Not really. The relationship hasn't been given any official label, I'm just bored with everyone else. That's not to say I'm with her by default, of course.
 
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Oh the technicalities.....

Am I single? Right now. No. I will be single on Saturday. How is that possible might you ask? Well he and I live in the same town at this moment. We met about a month and half ago... I knew he was leaving, we fell for each other anyway. It was very rapid, and very fun... seemed like an easy fun way to spend a month since I was previously single and actively NOT looking to be with anyone. (I am of the mindset that I am better off alone) It all seemed like a harmless way to have a good time with a seemingly awesome person... Well spending almost every single day with someone for that amount of time is an easy way to get to know a person.. and we went from just fun to exclusive and monogamous with the bittersweet looming reality of his leaving.... :/ Then just a couple of days ago I also made a major life altering decision to leave this city we live in for a better life somewhere else. He will be moving to California on Saturday and a week later I will be moving with my beautiful kids to Virginia. He says he loves me... and even said he'd come back.. but the truth is that as much as I already care for this person, the best thing is for us to go our separate ways. It's going to suck... it all really sucks. Right now, I am his and he is mine... whatever that means, and then on Saturday... I will set him free... Then I will be single again. My heart just stays broken.

Do I plan on dating soon? No. I don't plan dating. As much as I would like to meet someone I can spend my life with and give my love entirely to... I am jaded.

I don't approach people. :) And as for issues with dating... well I am trying not to date.
 
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Dragon said:
I think herds are hot.

I'm single, but I plan on dating as soon as I know where I will be living and can go there. I go through some of those issues with dating, but really I think it is okay to try and find people who aren't so concerned with small talk. I'm terrible at small talk, but you can talk about other things with people.

Wow, you must be hot stuff.

It is really hard to approach people period. I have an incredibly difficult time approaching any girl I like.
Click to expand...

x2, I'm very much the same way. I'm usually the one being approached - as it's difficult for me to actively approach/pursue (social anxiety issues - as you might imagine that doesn't happen incredibly often). I find being a bit clumsy or doing something silly makes the approach easier - if you can get a smile or laugh things go a lot smoother.
 
small talk makes me want to kill myself.
i'm not single but when i was it was hard for me to find someone i wanted to spend a few hours with in one chunk. i need conversation to have meaning. if it doesn't then what's the point?
intelligence is the sexiest part of a person.
 
Not
 
sweaverit said:
Single. For a long time. (Sort of.) Because I'm introverted and can't bring myself to "get out there" and meet people. I guess I'm waiting for the right guy to just magically show up on my front door step some day? My friends think I'm the type to meet the one at the grocery store after blindly running into him by complete freak accident. o_O

I think I'll be the colorful old spinster down the street living with a bunch of cats. :)
Click to expand...

oooh a crazy cat lady! i've seen your eyes in the member's eyes thread and i can tell you right now that if you get out there and let those babies shine you won't be single for long
p.s.
what's your mail carrier look like? grinzz
 
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@Saru Here's your answer.
 
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