This kinda touches a nerve


I got ADHD but I wouldn't say that I'm deficient.. and I actually don't think that anyone is.
Nobody is deficient, we all meet the world the same way and our fate is the same.
People come in different shapes and forms. If we all were the same then life would be incredibly boring, and there would be no advancements or changes in the world. However, don't take the above vent too seriously. I do, enjoy that there is an open discussion as without it the world is filled with pre-assumptions that do nobody any good. So there is that..
However, here is my experience on it:
growing up
I thought that I was a broken-kid that should never have been born, I wanted to die most of my childhood, and I used to sympathise with my family for having me because I was different.
I could feel how I was sometimes judged when I would zone out... or just judged for 'having it', and still to this day when I say I got ADHD.. I am met at times with pre assumptions and often told '..but you can focus!' or 'how?? you don't seem really hyper' or 'but you...bleughbleuh'.
It takes a while to accept yourself, and learn to manage
your random strengths and weaknesses..
It took a while to learn that I get #
restless when I need mental stimulation or to go out for a walk or something.
Took a while to learn that when I can't maintain attention I need to find something difficult that I want to analyse (that motivates me to learn the other stuff as I need to know that before getting in the difficult bit).
It took me a while to learn that sometimes I go into #
involuntary meditation.
Took a while to accept that I'm sometimes overly #
sensitive.
I used to get into endless troubles with my friends for being nice to someone I was meant to ignore or wasn't meant to be nice to (ignoring the
box), or quickly jumping in to stop people from arguing.
Took a while to realise that I can't talk to everyone and that sometimes I just feel #lonely, I mean.. I was the kid that would interrogate my parents with endless
why's and how's - one of my most precious memories of my father was snuggling with him in the sofa while he explained gravity to me.. it made me so happy...felt like #utopia, and discussing life with him while I had a bath, and having him proof to me that my theories were wrong e.g. I had the wild idea that what we see in the mirror isn't 100% accurate (I was wondering about perspectives and illusions) etc..
.
Took me a while to learn that the H doesn't mix to well when I'm #
scared.
Took a while to calm my #spirit down when my loved ones are in
trouble or sad.
Took a while to understand that #anxiety
isn't a normal feeling.
Took a while to accept that sometimes I am #
forgettful.
Took a while to accept that sometimes I just say the most #random thing and that's
OK.
Took a while to #
navigate waters when my focus is playing up. e.g. sometimes when I'm being spoken to I feel this wave of
meh about to happen.. I usually excuse myself and go to the toilet
or something lol, take a breath and find my bearings so, I won't insult someone by seeming to not be interested. I am! My brain just decided to give me a random
meh.
#master troubleshooter.
ADHD is the #
devil though when sadness kicks in as it amplifies it like its being paid to but then I think it also amplifies joy.
ADHD can be a #
saint when it comes to cheering someone up.
I dunno.. there are plenty of more strengths and weaknesses. Although, there is a lot of self-criticism that goes with it.
I'm quick though to come up with new things to do or ideas. Nothing makes me happier than a brain-tickle unless I'm stuck in a sad loop.. then I feel like I'm in limbo.
I see most things I'm told visually.
My brain looks kind of like a mind map... or well operates that way.
I'm sometimes like a little kid .. "hey, what you doing? hmm.. want to watch Pocahontas or do you need to talk?", "should we paint and do handprints?", "can I paint you like one of my French girls?"
Next minute I sound ancient.
I can be really random.....
My mind is always racing and when I hyper focus I can..
sound like a rapper.
There is one thing though that people should understand more, or few things..
1) with ADHD when you don't feel too good for no apparent reason, your H can kick in or you can force it to kick in. All the H-happy does is create a false feeling of joy or receptivity for the good little things around you.. probably a placebo to increase dopamine.
2) there are numerous types of ADHD
3) with most ADHD there is an increased susceptibility for depression and anxiety.
I don't know how AD
HD I am though..
Mind over matter.
disclaimer: I only hashtag for giggles... and I did use it now so nobody would feel like I'm bashing them .. y'know cause I started by saying it touched a nerve
