Anyone met a Twin Flame?

[dZpADTLrPmX4c]

Oh lalaaa~
*insert awkward bestiality joke here*

I wholeheartedly would say that it is an acquired skill. My sole motivation for it is to empathically look at the damages it can bring to the lives of people I love and the lives of the people they love too. What is good for all of us? Often I find, emotions don't always take center stage to the answer to that. It's usually a balance.

For example @David Nelson's predicament screams that the madamme has made a choice. Whatever the strength of those so-called connections, she has still made a choice. Shouldn't that be respected? Connection or no connection, choices bring with them consequences. It seems apparent that she knows which consequences she'd rather be responsible for and it isn't the whirlwind of attraction. Whatever her truth may be, the probability that she has weighed her choices thoroughly is there. No is no. Blocking is blocking. Let's accept that. It might give us peace.

yupper pupper I agreeee

 

[David Nelson]

Sadly for me, you’re probably right.

 

[Wyote]

Oh lalaaa~
*insert awkward bestiality joke here*

(lol)

 

[John K]

@David Nelson I really feel for you. There is a great need and a longing for deep connection in the way you talk about this. I hope so much that you find someone to share your life with.

There's already some great advice here in the thread so just a couple of quick thoughts. One is that personally, I get bad vibes about the way catchphrases such as Twin Flames can mythologise something. The danger is that we project it onto a situation when we have a lot at stake, but it distorts the reality rather than clarifying it. It could lead us into a rose garden, but just as easily into a wilderness - there's a lot of the Trickster spirit in this sort of myth.

Another thought. The nearly 30 year age difference between you suggests other possibilities about the way she related to you. With such an age difference she may well have seen you initially as a father figure and given you the kind of affection vibes that go with this. It is possible to confuse these with romantic ones. If that is what she's done, then it could explain her initial ambivalence when you showed her you were interested romantically and she could have been confused before deciding she needed to back off. This is just speculation, of course, but it's worth bearing in mind.

 

[larry806q]

Now this is probably not what you think. Most people have heard of soulmates and maybe even twin flames. Sounds great don’t it? You meet someone so suited, you hit it off easily and have a great relationship. Not even close. The video below is one of many by a guy who seems to really understand what this phenomenon is. I’m pretty sure I’m going through this now and it’s hell on earth. There’s tears, bad sleep, weird dreams, feelings of deep loneliness, mind won’t stop thinking of my twin flame, difficulty doing chores and work. Basically life in turmoil. And it could go on for months according to this guy. The way out is spiritual enlightenment.

Can I edit the title? It should be Twin Flame. See how messed up I am!

Months? (yes as long as you don't think that number is less than 12). Anyone and everyone can offer you all manner of information and 99.9% of it won't make any difference. If you have indeed gotten entangled with a twin flame (and nothing you have posted suggests to me that you haven't) you truly don't have a lot of choices. DO YOU WORK! Is the only functional way out that I know about (it's why you are in this "mess"). For me it was "acceptance" which is way different than resignation. I found it very useful to ask the question why? ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that transpired I asked why, answers would make themselves known. Life is INCREDIBLY different on the other side. It could be hypothesized that the "Universe" (define that however you want) is of the opinion it is time for you to start being yourself, probably helping society, and I would offer that odds are you are some manner of healer. Legal items that MIGHT take some of the tops and bottoms off are Ashwaghanda and Holy Basil. *ACCEPTANCE* I truly wish you all the luck in the world (and luck has nothing to do with this). Blessings!!

 

[larry806q]

My current situation, which I started to explain in the thread ‘Falling in Love Backwards’ mirrors a lot of what he explains, except there was no relationship at the start. Just minor flirting and eye contact. I think you can only appreciate this once you have experienced it. To many it would be categorised as an obsession about a person which shows you have some mental illness. Many don’t understand it. You meet someone who is a mirror of your self, in my case it’s visual and probably at a soul level too. By using the ego, which most people exist in most of the time, there is a natural repulsion after initial attraction. One becomes the runner, the other the pursuer. The pursuer goes through hell. The only escape is death of the ego, or dark night of the soul. This leads to spiritual enlightenment and usually your twin flame is then not repelled by you, but strongly attracted. I’ve not experienced this last part yet (if it happens) but my life now is in major turmoil. I cry, struggle to sleep, obsessive thinking, struggle to do anything. Classic signs of depression. I’ve never experienced anything like it before and I’m 52. Discovering I’m an INFJ was major life event, now this. I honestly have mixed feelings. If it leads to an amazing relationship, then it will be worth it, but if not maybe spiritual growth but I can’t see that. I feel like my life is slowly falling apart. I feel like a zombie.

Well now..............YOU GOT IT! Yep! That is indeed the situation. And you could not be either more succinct OR accurate 110%! Death of the ego and you are indeed going thru a dark night of the soul (couldn't remember that phrase on my first post). Yes on the spiritual enlightenment (you may want to ponder what faith you want to make use of if you don't have one). Now on the not repelled by you..........I won't ruin your day on where I am at on that front.

 

[larry806q]

I can understand it as by seeing your own soul in another person it forces your soul to battle your ego. The awakening of your soul must be accompanied by a suppression or death of your ego. We are happier in our soul than our ego, so it should be a healthy transformation. It’s only painful because every positive change usually is.

I'd shy away from the "suppression angle".

 

[larry806q]

I like the idea of 2 people being each other’s salvation. Is that wrong? Sure, we can exist separately, but we can live together amazingly, or at least help each other to be happy. Does the pedestal thing not exist in every strong relationship? I know all the crap about not putting someone on one, but we do in our minds don’t we?! Otherwise, what’s the point? If the other person is not seen as ‘special’ to us, why do we want them?

Patience.........your theory does appear to be logical but....the Universe doesn't concur.

 

[larry806q]

INFJ explains so many problems relating to my work and relationships and self understanding. I had to learn it the hard way through bitter experience. Understanding that sheds so much light on the past and helps me move forward. I think any INFJ would understand this.

Because what I am feeling is centred around this person I have met, I feel that is what needs resolving. That according to the theory I need to achieve spiritual growth before any relationship is established seems a major challenge given my current position. I have sensed spiritual dimension to what I’ve been going through for the last few months. So not really sure about all this tbh.

Life on solid foundation? Yes and no. Had issues all my life wrt relationships. Probably generally more sorted now than in the past though.

Ego is the mental construct of personality I think. Soul is what we are at birth. A non thinking basis of who we are deep down. Zen and all the ancient spiritual teaching are all about connecting and exist in the soul state. Ego death is not literal as I’m sure we cannot get rid of it. It is a euphemism for being able to let it go a lot of the time.

You'll probably hear this a few thousand time but.......part of the process is getting out of your head (THINKING) and being in your HEART - FEELING. Most people if you offered them a trip to heaven or a book about heaven would choose to read the book.....(they are in their heads).

 

[larry806q]

I just thought it would be interesting to hear of anyone who had experienced the same. My main reason for posting was to spread awareness of what is a very interesting phenomenon, one which I know know all too well about. When they work out it can lead to very happy and content couples. The friction is usually due to a clash of egos before they become more enlightened. I don’t know if both have to be enlightened for it to work. Lots of stories of this over the internet. You know people never getting over their twin, or reuniting after many years. It does seem to be a very real phenomenon. I think what I need to try and do is focus on Se jobs and work to minimise my Ni-Ti loop which is going crazy at the moment. I’ve done only essential tasks over the last week, no work, lots of naps and just sitting quietly and on phone, like this site.

I don’t know if it’s linked to an awakening or just an age thing but I often go down some really sad and dark thinking in relation to how small and short our lives are. It makes me really morose and the prospect of an amazing romance adds significantly to it, but coupled is the potential/probable heartbreak. I sometimes feel I could cry for days.

You do have EXCELLENT insights!! VERY good on the small and short!! I would suggest not worrying too much about reducing this or enhancing that - the universe will handle that for you. Heartbreak is relative. You might want to stay open to past life information.

 

[larry806q]

I think of you had experienced it you would find that you don’t have much choice in the matter. It’s simply too powerful a thing to avoid, and once in it, it grips you. I’m sure some have walked and disconnected, maybe the runners are the ones who can/will do this. But if you a chaser and you are going half crazy, you have practically no choice, unless you have a mind and will of steel perhaps.

It really is like an awakening, a chance for personal growth. Maybe if those who experience it knew about the phenomenon, then much of the distress could be taken out of the connection. The couple involved could explore with a degree of security and understanding. I’m sure it must have pushed some people to suicide.

You have indeed done your research!! You make me laugh.......yeh the great advice of throw her under the bus! (People still subtely throw that at me.) I was fortunate enough to figure out that she was the 400 pound gorilla in the room and in no way in hell did I want the 800 pound version showing up. I got $1,000 says NO ONE,as in NO ONE has a mind or will of steel strong enough to deny the Universe - that simply is not going to happen (or will be allowed). You CAN see this as an opportunity for growth..........it might be more useful to see this as a CALL to do your growth work.......on a free will planet you CAN (with hideous consequences) CHOSE to not do the work! I can't address your suicide theory but, again the Universe would be less than happy.

 

[larry806q]

This correlates with what I said before about females being better able, on average, to be more practical than men when it comes to affairs of the heart. For most men, the call of love is just too strong to resist.

My twin is living in virtual pergatory.

 

[larry806q]

Yes that sounds pretty accurate. It’s like the thought of never seeing them again would feel like losing part of myself or a key to a wonderland I will never get to enter or see again. I would worry that nothing will ever have much meaning or intensity again. Further, I would forever lament that I wasn’t able to love and look after them as I feel I know I could.

Uh yeh you ARE going to lose part of yourself (hence the feelings you are having) Drop the never have meaning or intensity again - not true. LOL.....(sorry) look after them eh? Cut some time out of your dark night and forget the care taking. And said female has an observable "issue" that could need taken care of? (He asks already knowing the answer)

 

[larry806q]

It is backed by science. Although I don’t believe in reincarnation etc. it is easy to see that 2 people who are so alike that their souls are almost identical can be a great match. ‘People are just people’ is a truism and doesn’t say anything really. Define a person? If that is easy then philosophy has no mysteries.

You are CONSIDERABLY wiser than you are acknowledging. You may want to rethink your views on reincarnation (it might allow this to make more sense).

 

[larry806q]

hmmmm

So. We don't know (for sure) if she feels for you like you do for her, right?
She's blocked you and hasn't reached out. It didn't sound like you'd been dating or otherwise very close together. To me this sounds like she had a similar response like mine mentioned earlier (dynamite). I wouldn't count on her coming back if she did.
Most relationships like this I've helped with or observed ended 'dramatically'. And often if you're afraid you're going to lose somebody, guess what... you're gonna.
This isn't only a self-fulfilling thing (though it's that too). It's also a passage-of-time thing. People grow, change, wisen-up, drift apart. There's no promise that the person you imagine you'll be after your ashes clear will feel for her or the person she is after her ashes clear. It's possible don't get me wrong, and depending on your relationship maybe even likely. But not a guarantee.
Also. Entering a relationship like this doesn't mean you'll come out the other end wiser and stronger for it. It can; it definitely has that alchemic potential. It really depends on, after the dust settles, what you do.

Which is to say, do you keep believing you'll never love like that again?
Do you reach for the past again and again?
Do you hold the time you shared as flawless? etc.

In other words. If you idealize the past then you're holding onto that past-you - the you that you have to let go of in order to move onto the next stage of your life. The past (or present?) you isn't a bad person, and in a sense that part of you will carry on, but in a new way.
It's like that puzzle again. It'll have the same pieces but there won't be holes missing because you'll have realized how to rearrange it in a new way. The key isn't having a flat border with blank spots inside but no blank spots inside and spots to add things onto the border (if that makes sense).

The good news. Sometimes these relationships do work out, and even if they don't it's not impossible to find one that can be just as fulfilling. I won't say it's commonplace but it does happen. It won't be the same because you won't be the same person and neither will they, but that won't make it inherently lesser. It may still be fairly intense and magnetic, but (possibly?) you'll be better equipped to handle it.
What's more is, you could grow a lot as a person and that's never a bad thing.
Why do you think she may get back to you?



Please be careful about this. It comes from best intentions but is also key ingredients in disaster-cocktails.
This is you stepping into a parentlike role which, if she mimics your feelings, may push her into a childlike role. From there things will get messy and it'll be a fun rollercoaster until it goes off the rails.
(it's also mildly patronizing but that may be the least of your concerns)

That is ALL very good and could be backed up with the DMSR (whatever number they are on now). However, NONE of it applies to this situation.

My premise has been that "screwing/ignoring/throwing under the bus" with the Universe is a hideously bad idea. Just to try and be helpful.....part of the carrot to do the work is that "she will get back to me". To try and maintain what little is left of his sanity that is a belief that serves a useful purpose for now. And inevitably in my opinion they will get back together......now which life time (and that isn't a bad joke).

 

[larry806q]

Firstly, I think often when explaining this stuff, it’s easy to misinterpret what I mean. This may be my failing in choice of words.

I am aware that this may be a 1-sided infatuation but much of it fits into TF dynamics. She showed interest early on, then backed off when I flirted/talked to her etc. then I backed off and she came back. Her refusal to communicate with me (I texted her 3 times, got 1 reply, then blocked). It’s like she is scared of something. Why? All she had to do is say she isn’t interested, which she did in her text. It’s as if she doesn’t trust herself. She may not come back.
Yes, the aspect of wanting something badly usually does make it harder to get that thing, especially in dating. This works in general but especially in TF dynamics. It’s because TFs are polar opposite in their ego (I don’t understand this). But once ego is dropped, the soul attraction happens.

My first inkling there might have been potential in this connection was that I noticed she had very similar facial features to me, especially the eyes. This phenomenon is common with well matched couples. If that then means the souls are similar, it would play into TF dynamics. The trouble is she is too passive when we have talked. I get minimum response and only surface level stuff. She is holding back big time but the eyes never lie do they. I think she can feel an attraction but is trying to avoid it growing. I think she is in denial to herself perhaps about the potential for connection. Only time will tell. I just have to work on myself and see if she comes to me (my heart says unlikely).

1. It isn't one sided (and you already know that). One could frame this pretty much however, one wants: she is afraid, she is dumber than a box of rocks, you are making all of this shit up, the list goes on. The REALITY is the connection was made (on earth in your consciencenous now) and her "not being ready"
is the Universe's way of suggesting to you............. wait for it.....DO YOU WORK! The simple answer to the polar opposite premise is she shows you what you need to work on and you are reflecting back to her what she needs to work on. NO, the eyes don't lie (neither does your heart).

 

[larry806q]

That’s personality you are talking about, ego. Humans are mind, body and soul. Humans are easy to define biologically but not psychologically. There are plenty of mysteries there, and that’s the area of interest in this topic.

If you want real answers you are going to have to do some internet searching and wade thru a lot of bullshit.

 

[larry806q]

Well she is doing a Masters degree so not a stupid girl. If she wasn’t interested, she simply doesn’t flirt, talks to me like normal and doesn’t go hot and cold. She has said I make her very uncomfortable in her text. But 2 times we met she was all smiles and friendly. Wouldn’t she just be flattered by my attention and be ready to turn me down if I asked her out. I know I’m making assumptions, but she doesn’t seem that shy in general. And there have been several instances of quite long eye contact. Why didn’t she break it if not interested?
As far as myself and signs of TF etc. maybe that could be due to feelings of romance which I have not had for a long time. I need resolution but she’s not giving me the chance for a dialogue with her. She has said she has a b/f and doesn’t have feelings for me, but then she blocked me, giving me no chance to reply. My intuition tells me it’s not that straight forward. I think she is lying but of course I cannot act on or presume that. Attraction is rarely black and white. I said a few things in my texts which she hasn’t responded to. She is so cagey it’s weird. I’ve never met anyone so poor at communication (note she is studying linguistics lol). She might of course like me and nothing more, which begs the question….talk to me. I think she’s hiding something. I am honestly not a scary person.

Trust your soul, not what people who have not a single clue about this have to say. Logic is useful for now, it will eventually fade and you will know (and actually BELIEVE it).

 

[larry806q]

You missed some important details. She has only just told me she’s in a relationship after knowing her for over 6 months. If I was hassling her, why didn’t she tell me that months ago??

She only blocked me a week ago. We’ve only had 4 texts between us. I have no intention of pushing her now she has blocked me. All that could happen in my favour is if she is my TF then she may change her mind about the block, talking to me and her boyfriend. Anything is possible, but ball is completely in her court now. I know the rules and red flags. And btw, according to TF theory, phone blocking is pretty standard.

I really really don't want to rain on your parade..........but.......don't get your hopes up that the block is going to get lifted.

 

[larry806q]

Maybe she finds me interesting. As I’ve said my only hope is that it’s a TF situation. If it is, she may change. If not, she gets what she says she wants: for me to leave her alone. I may never know what she thinks or if she is lying. That is her prerogative. I suppose I can’t know if she is intimidated by me. I guess it’s easy for a woman to be wary or even scared by many men. I actually never used to think women were generally scared of men, unless they had a good reason to be. I guess that was a lack of imagination about what being female was like. Thinking back, after she was showing signs of resistance to even talking to me, I backed off. Then she said hello to me in a manner like “why are you not talking to me”. You see what I mean, total mixed signals. It’s no wonder my heads in a mess!

If in one of your calmer moments (maybe just before you fall asleep?) you ponder this with the Universe you'll find out you already know these answers. Uh yeh, you DO know she is lying. Yes on the mixed signals and I would not so modestly offer that is not why your head is a mess (it needs to be right now to get to where the Universe wants you).