Anyone met a Twin Flame?

[Sidis Coruscatis]

I wouldn't put it in the same terms, but I have experienced something that roughly corresponds. I think the concept emerged only because so many relationships are based on utility or pleasure that they are more or less replaceable, but it sounds a lot like any intense limerence. In the beginning, there was unprecedented understanding contrasted by physiological effects like nausea, anxiety, loss of appetite-all in the face of the newly emerging fear of loss. And it's a warranted fear, because you literally never will find the exact same connection. That's why it may feel like some part of you is in danger; it's like a child being separated from a mother that is suddenly left to deal with the vast complexity of the world without the grounding presence of certainty. But there's never a thing like one soul in two bodies. That's the most important lesson of the whole ordeal. So the question is how to deal with that.

You can see her as a savior, but only in the sense of the transformative potential she could bring. Never in the sense of her having some special responsibility that precedes your own. There's no role or burden she must bear that could not be attributed to anyone else. These feelings are not purely a result of your affection, but also a part of yourself that is desperate to be integrated. If she doesn't give you a chance to open up, that's too bad, but either way you will have to trust her to an extreme degree if you want to move forward.

I've always known that we weren't the same, but the relationship made me understand what that actually means. Right now, I don't even know her fate. But no matter what happens, I know I'll be fine—not because she isn't special, but because I'm more than that fear or grief. It really helped me to come to terms with my own vulnerability.

 

[mintoots]

The label alone leaves a distaste in my mouth. I interpret such connections to be serious red flags. I am more inclined to believe that it is an intuitive recognition of childhood wounds. There could be healing after the meeting but there could also be destruction, depending on the maturity of each involved individual. Whatever it is, it is obvious trouble and I don't think it's worth it. Usually, the things that are healing for us are calm, certain, and steadfast. At least that's what I believe.

 

[David Nelson]

The label alone leaves a distaste in my mouth. I interpret such connections to be serious red flags. I am more inclined to believe that it is an intuitive recognition of childhood wounds. There could be healing after the meeting but there could also be destruction, depending on the maturity of each involved individual. Whatever it is, it is obvious trouble and I don't think it's worth it. Usually, the things that are healing for us are calm, certain, and steadfast. At least that's what I believe.

I think of you had experienced it you would find that you don’t have much choice in the matter. It’s simply too powerful a thing to avoid, and once in it, it grips you. I’m sure some have walked and disconnected, maybe the runners are the ones who can/will do this. But if you a chaser and you are going half crazy, you have practically no choice, unless you have a mind and will of steel perhaps.

It really is like an awakening, a chance for personal growth. Maybe if those who experience it knew about the phenomenon, then much of the distress could be taken out of the connection. The couple involved could explore with a degree of security and understanding. I’m sure it must have pushed some people to suicide.

 

[mintoots]

unless you have a mind and will of steel perhaps.

Perhaps. But I think the signs are recognizable early on. Even the most intense emotions can be tempered by reality. One simply needs to separate the wants from the self, like being able to channel it where it is harmless. Emotions can be whorled into a ball to be viewed with meticulous caution. Even when I was in my view most profoundly in love with someone such that it warranted kneeling at church pews to resolve the intensity, the calls of greater realities are often unmistakeable. For me, personally, the call to duty is a much more valuable call than the insatiable need for union. There is a good union: one grounded upon a steady footing, and then there's the kind that's just downright shifty in its intensity. When the attraction is like fireworks, I doubt it immediately. I'm almost always certain that it's my fixations speaking. Perhaps the experience is different for all of us, but in conclusion, love is love whatever version and color it is. Flames or ice. Or whatevs.

 

[David Nelson]

Perhaps. But I think the signs are recognizable early on. Even the most intense emotions can be tempered by reality. One simply needs to separate the wants from the self, like being able to channel it where it is harmless. Emotions can be whorled into a ball to be viewed with meticulous caution. Even when I was in my view most profoundly in love with someone such that it warranted kneeling at church pews to resolve the intensity, the calls of greater realities are often unmistakeable. For me, personally, the call to duty is a much more valuable call than the insatiable need for union. There is a good union: one grounded upon a steady footing, and then there's the kind that's just downright shifty in its intensity. When the attraction is like fireworks, I doubt it immediately. I'm almost always certain that it's my fixations speaking. Perhaps the experience is different for all of us, but in conclusion, love is love whatever version and color it is. Flames or ice. Or whatevs.

This correlates with what I said before about females being better able, on average, to be more practical than men when it comes to affairs of the heart. For most men, the call of love is just too strong to resist.

 

[mintoots]

This correlates with what I said before about females being better able, on average, to be more practical than men when it comes to affairs of the heart. For most men, the call of love is just too strong to resist.

Yeah. We're probably used to handling our estrogen. I think though that it's more charged to individuality rather than gender.

 

[Enso]

It absolutely amazes me how so many people have been on the money about this throughout this thread. Talk to a general member of the public and they have no idea. It's definitely about ego, the whole thing is a trip down ego lane. It ended up with massively inflated ego after one of these interactions. It didn't initially end in spiritual realisation, not until later. But even then what I experienced I cannot own, it's something everyone can access and does access; a movement of awareness nothing more. The idea is to replace ego movement with self compassion and then eventually just compassion without the 'self'.

 

[dZpADTLrPmX4c]

You can see her as a savior, but only in the sense of the transformative potential she could bring. Never in the sense of her having some special responsibility that precedes your own. There's no role or burden she must bear that could not be attributed to anyone else. These feelings are not purely a result of your affection, but also a part of yourself that is desperate to be integrated. If she doesn't give you a chance to open up, that's too bad, but either way you will have to trust her to an extreme degree if you want to move forward.

Eloquently said as always. If only I could travel back in time & copy-paste this into my response! (with due credit)

The label alone leaves a distaste in my mouth. I interpret such connections to be serious red flags. I am more inclined to believe that it is an intuitive recognition of childhood wounds. There could be healing after the meeting but there could also be destruction, depending on the maturity of each involved individual.

This has been my observation too. And often the maturity of each individual isn't quite matched to the situation.

Even the most intense emotions can be tempered by reality

Is this an assumption based on your life experiences and those around you?

I think of you had experienced it you would find that you don’t have much choice in the matter. It’s simply too powerful a thing to avoid, and once in it, it grips you. I’m sure some have walked and disconnected, maybe the runners are the ones who can/will do this. But if you a chaser and you are going half crazy, you have practically no choice, unless you have a mind and will of steel perhaps.

It really is like an awakening, a chance for personal growth. Maybe if those who experience it knew about the phenomenon, then much of the distress could be taken out of the connection. The couple involved could explore with a degree of security and understanding. I’m sure it must have pushed some people to suicide.

Okay so. I understand where you're coming from (though you're free to disregard my claims). Knowing about twin flames won't change anything; if there's kindling to be burned it's going to burn, and that's sometimes how we rebuild ourselves.
Yes I've known people who can & did resist emotions that they described similarly. Most don't, or can't. Some do commit suicide, though many instead lament life for a long time before recovering.

Would you say this is about right?
most people regard you as a cool-headed, calm, and stable individual. You may have noticed that you rarely gain strong affections for others and, though never pleasant, have had an easier time of things parting from people & places in your later life.
At times, maybe in introspection, you feel a little lost. Like a spotlight chasing something that it can't quite illuminate or like putting a puzzle together only the box is empty and pieces are still missing. However, this would've been more present in your earlier life (late teens early twenties probably) and at least before this, you felt it had been sorted out and that feeling had been stabilized or regulated. Forgotten might've been a better word for it, because now you feel like you've known this person from another life and they're your other half. When you talk with them, it feels like you're walking on water and there's fire flowing inside you; anything is possible but the only thing you want is a life with them.
Conversely when they're away it's jarring to your senses. Like hitting pavement and all the lights go out. Suddenly you're scrambling for those puzzle pieces again with your searchlight only this time it's even dimmer than it was before and you don't know where you are or even entirely who you are.
The only reason you're not overwhelmed with despair is you feel there's a light at the end of the tunnel - they feel similarly as you do and they'll reach out and if you bide your time it's only a matter of when. And you just have to be ready when they do.


Please let me know your thoughts. I'm trying to understand your perspective here so as to be better help.
Thank you <3

 

[David Nelson]

 

[David Nelson]

Eloquently said as always. If only I could travel back in time & copy-paste this into my response! (with due credit)


This has been my observation too. And often the maturity of each individual isn't quite matched to the situation.


Is this an assumption based on your life experiences and those around you?


Okay so. I understand where you're coming from (though you're free to disregard my claims). Knowing about twin flames won't change anything; if there's kindling to be burned it's going to burn, and that's sometimes how we rebuild ourselves.
Yes I've known people who can & did resist emotions that they described similarly. Most don't, or can't. Some do commit suicide, though many instead lament life for a long time before recovering.

Would you say this is about right?
most people regard you as a cool-headed, calm, and stable individual. You may have noticed that you rarely gain strong affections for others and, though never pleasant, have had an easier time of things parting from people & places in your later life.
At times, maybe in introspection, you feel a little lost. Like a spotlight chasing something that it can't quite illuminate or like putting a puzzle together only the box is empty and pieces are still missing. However, this would've been more present in your earlier life (late teens early twenties probably) and at least before this, you felt it had been sorted out and that feeling had been stabilized or regulated. Forgotten might've been a better word for it, because now you feel like you've known this person from another life and they're your other half. When you talk with them, it feels like you're walking on water and there's fire flowing inside you; anything is possible but the only thing you want is a life with them.
Conversely when they're away it's jarring to your senses. Like hitting pavement and all the lights go out. Suddenly you're scrambling for those puzzle pieces again with your searchlight only this time it's even dimmer than it was before and you don't know where you are or even entirely who you are.
The only reason you're not overwhelmed with despair is you feel there's a light at the end of the tunnel - they feel similarly as you do and they'll reach out and if you bide your time it's only a matter of when. And you just have to be ready when they do.


Please let me know your thoughts. I'm trying to understand your perspective here so as to be better help.
Thank you <3

Yes that sounds pretty accurate. It’s like the thought of never seeing them again would feel like losing part of myself or a key to a wonderland I will never get to enter or see again. I would worry that nothing will ever have much meaning or intensity again. Further, I would forever lament that I wasn’t able to love and look after them as I feel I know I could.

 

[Wyote]

It's comforting to believe in such things, but people are just people

 

[Enso]

It's comforting to believe in such things, but people are just people

People are people but people are also attachments. The Buddhists know this. The posts above are talking about very, very strong attachments.

 

[David Nelson]

It's comforting to believe in such things, but people are just people

It is backed by science. Although I don’t believe in reincarnation etc. it is easy to see that 2 people who are so alike that their souls are almost identical can be a great match. ‘People are just people’ is a truism and doesn’t say anything really. Define a person? If that is easy then philosophy has no mysteries.

 

[dZpADTLrPmX4c]

Yes that sounds pretty accurate. It’s like the thought of never seeing them again would feel like losing part of myself or a key to a wonderland I will never get to enter or see again. I would worry that nothing will ever have much meaning or intensity again. Further, I would forever lament that I wasn’t able to love and look after them as I feel I know I could.

hmmmm

So. We don't know (for sure) if she feels for you like you do for her, right?
She's blocked you and hasn't reached out. It didn't sound like you'd been dating or otherwise very close together. To me this sounds like she had a similar response like mine mentioned earlier (dynamite). I wouldn't count on her coming back if she did.
Most relationships like this I've helped with or observed ended 'dramatically'. And often if you're afraid you're going to lose somebody, guess what... you're gonna.
This isn't only a self-fulfilling thing (though it's that too). It's also a passage-of-time thing. People grow, change, wisen-up, drift apart. There's no promise that the person you imagine you'll be after your ashes clear will feel for her or the person she is after her ashes clear. It's possible don't get me wrong, and depending on your relationship maybe even likely. But not a guarantee.
Also. Entering a relationship like this doesn't mean you'll come out the other end wiser and stronger for it. It can; it definitely has that alchemic potential. It really depends on, after the dust settles, what you do.

Which is to say, do you keep believing you'll never love like that again?
Do you reach for the past again and again?
Do you hold the time you shared as flawless? etc.

In other words. If you idealize the past then you're holding onto that past-you - the you that you have to let go of in order to move onto the next stage of your life. The past (or present?) you isn't a bad person, and in a sense that part of you will carry on, but in a new way.
It's like that puzzle again. It'll have the same pieces but there won't be holes missing because you'll have realized how to rearrange it in a new way. The key isn't having a flat border with blank spots inside but no blank spots inside and spots to add things onto the border (if that makes sense).

The good news. Sometimes these relationships do work out, and even if they don't it's not impossible to find one that can be just as fulfilling. I won't say it's commonplace but it does happen. It won't be the same because you won't be the same person and neither will they, but that won't make it inherently lesser. It may still be fairly intense and magnetic, but (possibly?) you'll be better equipped to handle it.
What's more is, you could grow a lot as a person and that's never a bad thing.
Why do you think she may get back to you?

Further, I would forever lament that I wasn’t able to love and look after them as I feel I know I could.

Please be careful about this. It comes from best intentions but is also key ingredients in disaster-cocktails.
This is you stepping into a parentlike role which, if she mimics your feelings, may push her into a childlike role. From there things will get messy and it'll be a fun rollercoaster until it goes off the rails.
(it's also mildly patronizing but that may be the least of your concerns)

 

[Wyote]

People are people but people are also attachments. The Buddhists know this. The posts above are talking about very, very strong attachments.

Your need to assert this is also from a place of ego

 

[David Nelson]

Firstly, I think often when explaining this stuff, it’s easy to misinterpret what I mean. This may be my failing in choice of words.

I am aware that this may be a 1-sided infatuation but much of it fits into TF dynamics. She showed interest early on, then backed off when I flirted/talked to her etc. then I backed off and she came back. Her refusal to communicate with me (I texted her 3 times, got 1 reply, then blocked). It’s like she is scared of something. Why? All she had to do is say she isn’t interested, which she did in her text. It’s as if she doesn’t trust herself. She may not come back.
Yes, the aspect of wanting something badly usually does make it harder to get that thing, especially in dating. This works in general but especially in TF dynamics. It’s because TFs are polar opposite in their ego (I don’t understand this). But once ego is dropped, the soul attraction happens.

My first inkling there might have been potential in this connection was that I noticed she had very similar facial features to me, especially the eyes. This phenomenon is common with well matched couples. If that then means the souls are similar, it would play into TF dynamics. The trouble is she is too passive when we have talked. I get minimum response and only surface level stuff. She is holding back big time but the eyes never lie do they. I think she can feel an attraction but is trying to avoid it growing. I think she is in denial to herself perhaps about the potential for connection. Only time will tell. I just have to work on myself and see if she comes to me (my heart says unlikely).

 

[Enso]

Your need to assert this is also from a place of ego

How so, I couldn't think of any other metaphor, that's the only reason I mentioned Buddhism, but maybe so. Fair enough.

 

[Wyote]

it is easy to see that 2 people who are so alike that their souls are almost identical can be a great match.

People who are vastly different psychologically can also be complimentary.

‘People are just people’ is a truism and doesn’t say anything really. Define a person? If that is easy then philosophy has no mysteries.

Philosophy is just brain masturbation.
It's easy to define a person.
Humans are more similar physiologically than they are different.

 

[David Nelson]

People who are vastly different psychologically can also be complimentary.



Philosophy is just brain masturbation.
It's easy to define a person.
Humans are more similar physiologically than they are different.

That’s personality you are talking about, ego. Humans are mind, body and soul. Humans are easy to define biologically but not psychologically. There are plenty of mysteries there, and that’s the area of interest in this topic.

 

[Wyote]

There are plenty of mysteries there, and that’s the area of interest in this topic.

Not really.
There's mystery between conceptual understanding, but that's about all.