aggresive women, sexuality, feminism, is askmen full of crap? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

aggresive women, sexuality, feminism, is askmen full of crap?

alice144 said:
Entirely not true, and yes, they do.

No they haven't. But it's kinda really sweet that you think that.

I'm kind of obsessed with the whole idea of a Southern Belle (to be extremely explicit: this southern belle and not this southern belle). Do real Southern Belles exist? I'm thinking 'Southern Belle' in terms of 'ideal Victorian wife'.

Also, I read somewhere that Victorian marriages lasted the longest and were the most stable. A social psychology book I read way back when told me that the extreme politeness practiced between mates during that time was the way to go. Of course there was some outrageous ratio of hookers to London men; this person says the ratio was 1:12. Could it be because being in a Victorian marriage was no fun? Or, were there simply a lot of poor women in London at the time?
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I have to admit I'm surprised to hear that guys under 25 have used you as a fuck buddy.

I have a few friends that are girls who have the same opinion, that you should have fun and play the field a bit to find out what you like and don't when you're in your twenties and to be honest, I don't think they're wrong, why would you just want to have one single relationship in your lifetime? It sounds horrible, ESPECIALLY since you might be stuck with a person you ultimately don't get along that well with for the majority of your life, it's like saying you should only have one friend in your life and that's it. I definitely think people should find someone to settle down with but that's my personal opinion, some girls settle down with multiple partners and some guys the same which I guess could work it depends on the psychologies involved. Women aren't as defenceless as some girls think they are, they really aren't, they have men over a barrel in a lot of social situations and socially smart women pretty much own men lol but I think the typical Christian outlook on how women should behave takes quite a bit of that away.

Oh I figured you'd disagree, they were only testing statements, I wanted to see how you'd reply to them, I was curious after reading the sex and self esteem thread :)
 
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Wow, that's a very stupid article. I don't buy one drop of it. Really. I can't believe it was published. Quite irrelevant actually. Choppy, questionable facts. With regard to being recognized, why would she pull aggression out of her hat? I think she got her PHD from a cracker jacks box, either that, or she's had a severe brain injury since. Oh, am I being bitchy? Goody, that means Men will like me more. Yawn.
 
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Blackmountainside said:
^^ agree

i'm gentle and quiet by nature. (but i've got pretty good understanding of power dynamics, have worked with women in domestic violence, understand my rights)

*some* guys like shy girls, too ---- and not just guys who wish to control.

just a preference thing. good thing we all like/want different things. :)
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agree. The idea that women are only strong or deserve respect if they are aggressive is nonsense. All women don't need to be the same. We each have different qualities and those qualities work for us in different ways. And being aggressive doesn't guarantee you will always get what you want. Sometimes, the soft approach can be more effective.
 
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Aggressive is only good if the person has depth/deserves respect.

I think it's pretty simplistic to say that aggression is the answer… the answer is probably to stop reading such articles and be natural… though I suppose in some ways it wouldn't be a complete turn off and could even be flattering if it were done right.

Even a little bitchiness is alright… but not too much.
 
DimensionX said:
I have to admit I'm surprised to hear that guys under 25 have used you as a fuck buddy.
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That's fine. Just remember you don't know where you are going; you don't know who you will become; you don't know who you will meet. What you do today always has consequences. I say leave doors open. And by that I mean make decisions wisely. You can't change what you have done and there is no such thing as the past. We always carry it with us.


I have a few friends that are girls who have the same opinion, that you should have fun and play the field a bit to find out what you like and don't when you're in your twenties and to be honest, I don't think they're wrong, why would you just want to have one single relationship in your lifetime? It sounds horrible, ESPECIALLY since you might be stuck with a person you ultimately don't get along that well with for the majority of your life, it's like saying you should only have one friend in your life and that's it. I definitely think people should find someone to settle down with but that's my personal opinion, some girls settle down with multiple partners and some guys the same which I guess could work it depends on the psychologies involved. Women aren't as defenceless as some girls think they are, they really aren't, they have men over a barrel in a lot of social situations and socially smart women pretty much own men lol but I think the typical Christian outlook on how women should behave takes quite a bit of that away.

Oh I figured you'd disagree, they were only testing statements, I wanted to see how you'd reply to them, I was curious after reading the sex and self esteem thread :)
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I have a hard time with some of this.
Just because you haven't found a friend worth keeping, someone to share time with, someone to hold onto doesn't mean these things don't happen, aren't possible. They do happen, it's happened to me and maybe to a few others I've known. Even if for a shorter time than your whole life. Sometime people part because they move on and find other things to pursue. Doesn't mean you have to part enemies. There are people in my very distant past I am still friends with. I'm glad we were able to do that.

Why would you ever get stuck with a person you don't like. I'm not even sure where a thought like that comes from.
I'm not a Christian, so I'm not bound by those rules. I feel very sorry for you if your vision for the rest of your life is stuck with someone you don't like. But if you're going down the what Christ says route, then you shouldn't be fucking anyone to begin with. If you have, then you have made a joke out of the whole belief. Is it a discipline when it's convenient, and not when you want to play. Sorry, I don't care what you do in life, you can't have it all, you can't have it both ways, and you can't do things at the expense of others. Kind of a rule. If you don't know this, I have absolute confidence you will find out.
 
[MENTION=5219]Rferraris[/MENTION]

@ the first bit:

I know it's fine to have fuck buddies lol and though I do agree that you just jump into anything without a little caution or forethought I don't think you should live life walking on eggshells. Why would you always carry the past with you? A persons history is their own tool to help them pick their paths with the wisdom of actions taken, you shouldn't need to carry all of it and you shouldn't let it stop you from striving forward in your life either.

@ the rest:

What are you talking about?

1) I never said that if you broke up with someone you'd have to part as enemies, I never even used the word "enemy".

2) You grow apart or you weren't that into the other person as you thought you were and stay out of feelings of guilt, obligation, fear or low self esteem I've seen it happen to a few people and it's none too pleasant, even happened to a couple of relatives of mine.

3) I'm technically a Christian but I don't really follow the religion, I enjoy the stories and morality lessons but I don't really believe in it all

...did you actually read the post?
 
I agree that some bitchiness is attractive, but there's a limit--regardless of gender. There's only so much of that shit that I'd put up with.

Down the line I'll undoubtedly prefer someone balanced.
 
DimensionX said:
[MENTION=5219]Rferraris[/MENTION]

@ the first bit:

I know it's fine to have fuck buddies lol and though I do agree that you just jump into anything without a little caution or forethought I don't think you should live life walking on eggshells. Why would you always carry the past with you? A persons history is their own tool to help them pick their paths with the wisdom of actions taken, you shouldn't need to carry all of it and you shouldn't let it stop you from striving forward in your life either.

@ the rest:

What are you talking about?

1) I never said that if you broke up with someone you'd have to part as enemies, I never even used the word "enemy".

2) You grow apart or you weren't that into the other person as you thought you were and stay out of feelings of guilt, obligation, fear or low self esteem I've seen it happen to a few people and it's none too pleasant, even happened to a couple of relatives of mine.

3) I'm technically a Christian but I don't really follow the religion, I enjoy the stories and morality lessons but I don't really believe in it all

...did you actually read the post?
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Not sure. I think you wrote
"

I have a few friends that are girls who have the same opinion, that you should have fun and play the field a bit to find out what you like and don't when you're in your twenties and to be honest, I don't think they're wrong, why would you just want to have one single relationship in your lifetime? It sounds horrible, ESPECIALLY since you might be stuck with a person you ultimately don't get along that well with for the majority of your life, it's like saying you should only have one friend in your life and that's it."


So why would anyone get stuck with one person they don't like? I mean who thinks that way. I threw the Christian thing in cause aren't you supposed to stay married till death. Again, I'm not religious so I'm guessing about the system.
 
@ dimensionx

"@ the first bit:

I know it's fine to have fuck buddies lol and though I do agree that you just jump into anything without a little caution or forethought I don't think you should live life walking on eggshells. Why would you always carry the past with you? A persons history is their own tool to help them pick their paths with the wisdom of actions taken, you shouldn't need to carry all of it and you shouldn't let it stop you from striving forward in your life either."

See, I don't agree.
If I go to school, or don't. If I read books, or don't. If I get drunk a lot, or don't. If I take care if my health, or don't or eat too much or don't.

These things matter. Sex is just another thing. And it's addicting. But you can't convince me there aren't consequences. Often, someone gets used. Someone's feeling aren't the same. Maybe you make someone sick.
These thing can happen. So there are consequences to what you do.
Just like everything else.
I have a glass of wine. I driving ok.
There are consequences to what I do.
I spent money, I eat too much, I got high, I got laid, I gambled, I jumped a cliff. Where's the difference. They are all the same.

And saying your past is the past is just convenient. I think you're saying it's not your business who I fucked. I'm saying it matters to me what kind of douche bag you are because maybe I won't want anything to do with you. Maybe you hurt someone and didn't know it. Maybe you showed up drunk and sloppy. Kindof embarrassed about it. Maybe I don't want to be seen with that. So the way you behave matters. And just cause it was yesterday doesn't mean it just goes away. I think I need to prove to my wife I'm worth being with.

If it doesn't make sense, then we just don't have common ground. But that's the way I see it.
 
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I think its funny to mistake bitchiness for confidence. Only a select few like unconfident people-
 
This is an interesting topic and reminds me of the film Prometheus or more specifically, the character Meredith Vickers. Whenever Hollywood puts a strong successful female character in a movie, she's portrayed as vindictive bitch. It may be that most men, when confronted with a woman who seems cold and impersonal, equate these characteristic's with bitchiness.

My supervisor is a strong competitive woman, she's very practical and doesn't let emotions get in the way of business. At the same time, she's a very kind person and will always listen to any problems you might be having.
 
Jacobi said:
This is an interesting topic and reminds me of the film Prometheus or more specifically, the character Meredith Vickers. Whenever Hollywood puts a strong successful female character in a movie, she's portrayed as vindictive bitch. It may be that most men, when confronted with a woman who seems cold and impersonal, equate these characteristic's with bitchiness.

My supervisor is a strong competitive woman, she's very practical and doesn't let emotions get in the way of business. At the same time, she's a very kind person and will always listen to any problems you might be having.
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Isn't cold and impersonal the definition of a bitch?
 
DimensionX said:
Women aren't as defenceless as some girls think they are, they really aren't, they have men over a barrel in a lot of social situations and socially smart women pretty much own men lol but I think the typical Christian outlook on how women should behave takes quite a bit of that away.
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I've seem some injustices in my time, and therefore have some really strong opinions on this stuff. A lot of so-called 'women's work' is really hard. I get a little bit offended after I spend forty plus hours of my week busting my ass just so that my date can decide I'm not capable enough to hold the door for myself. It's entirely incongruent with my reality...
 
alice144 said:
I've seem some injustices in my time, and therefore have some really strong opinions on this stuff. A lot of so-called 'women's work' is really hard. I get a little bit offended after I spend forty plus hours of my week busting my ass just so that my date can decide I'm not capable enough to hold the door for myself. It's entirely incongruent with my reality...
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I agree. A lot of women's work is hard and monotonous. Why not reap the small benefits like having the door opened for you though?
 
Feel free to open the door for me anytime. A real man is mannered and a real woman is too. I never saw it as demeaning when a man opens a door for me. I consider manners the hallmark of a refined person. If you exert the effort toward the small things, it usually means you got the big things covered.
 
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Stormy1 said:
Feel free to open the door for me anytime. A real man is mannered and a real woman is too. I never saw it as demeaning when a man opens a door for me. I consider manners the hallmark of a refined person. If you exert the effort toward the small things, it usually means you got the big things covered.
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Heck yea. On campus, most of the guys hold the doors for me out of courtesy and I can't help but smile and thank them. If a man opens up the car door for me during out date, that's even better! I don't expect it all the time but the gesture is incredibly sweet. It makes me feel like I'm important and valued as a woman.
 
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