aggresive women, sexuality, feminism, is askmen full of crap? | INFJ Forum

aggresive women, sexuality, feminism, is askmen full of crap?

alice144

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Jun 17, 2011
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I read this article, and I don't know what to think. Specifically:

No one would care about what we had to say if we were just that shy, overly generous woman. Male domination and aggression has occurred since human evolution. If we want to be recognized as equals, we need to be aggressive too.



What about her?
 
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Women will never be equal until men get pregnant.
 
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Wendy Walash is an idiot and should be told to grow the fuck up. News flash ladies being feminazis or bitches dose you no favors. Ya people may bend to your will but they won't like you and they won't respect you.

Do I think there may be some genetic disposition for aggression absolutely in both sexes? Yes of course. The Selfish Gene By Richard Dawkins demonstrates aggression or self behavior is rooted in our evolution. Do I think its a reason to excuse crap behavior? No I do not.

Also as someone who is surrendered by over the top bitching /controlling women. No I'm not attracted to that. No way.
 
Hmm.

I am a very aggressive and dominating person in certain situations. I don't think it makes people hate me and I know people are attracted to me. But there's a difference between being aggressive and being fierce with confidence.
 
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Actually, it says:

It's how we rise in power and gain control. No one would care about what we had to say if we were just that shy, overly generous woman. Male domination and aggression has occurred since human evolution. If we want to be recognized as equals, we need to be aggressive too.

I don't buy into that. I think it is possible to have a strong personality without being bitchy. I think it is just considered uncommon or perceived as uncommon to see a white woman angry--article is definately slanted toward judeo/christian anglo women perspective. I don't gain control by being aggressive. I gain control because I recognize it is mine to display or to choose not to. I don't need to look for power--I already have that--again, mine to demonstrate or not.

I always see "bitchy" as angry, not aggressive. That being said. I can be terrifying when I am angry, really angry. I have a strong personality and I know it can make people uncomfortable when I am even just annoyed. Like today, I was mildly annoyed and now I bet there is one person irl who will walk softly around me. I don't do it to exert control though. You see my temper as a warning to leave me alone.
 
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Wendy Walash is an idiot and should be told to grow the fuck up. News flash ladies being feminazis or bitches dose you no favors. Ya people may bend to your will but they won't like you and they won't respect you.

Do I think there may be some genetic disposition for aggression absolutely in both sexes? Yes of course. The Selfish Gene By Richard Dawkins demonstrates aggression or self behavior is rooted in our evolution. Do I think its a reason to excuse crap behavior? No I do not.

Also as someone who is surrendered by over the top bitching /controlling women. No I'm not attracted to that. No way.

People like me.
 
I read this article, and I don't know what to think. Specifically:
No one would care about what we had to say if we were just that shy, overly generous woman. Male domination and aggression has occurred since human evolution. If we want to be recognized as equals, we need to be aggressive too.
What about her?

I don't find women with aggressive personalities attractive, I like independent women more than those live for their partners beckoned call but there's a fundamental difference between aggressive and confident/independent.

Previously guys have been the protectors and girls raised the children and there are evolutionary differences between the two genders that support that, it's not like men have always decided to be dominant, it was their role, guys fought guys to display their genetic superiority in strength and speed, winning territory and social status, proving to women that they are more the more suitable mate. Since the social environment has changed over the years, having a physical protector has become less important and thus men have become less dominant and women more so.

Regardless men haven't been subduing women by aggression, if that were the case the majority of the male population would be beating the crap out of women all the time since we're physically capable of it, usually social rules tell us we should not and guys tend to band together against guys that do.

The quote chosen and previous posts made seem to indicate a clear bias and a skewed perception towards these kind of matters, I usually think of it as the "chat-show" bias, an obscure branch of "feminism" that's propagated via daytime television....it's just so one sided and barely accounts for past realistic factors. I am all for equal rights but I'm not so keen on people using this kind of thing as a platform to say how shit men are and how they should be poorly treated in return because it's what they deserve which in my opinion completely defeats the purpose of feminism.

I think you'll find a lot of overly aggressive women are that way due to fear or anxiety and so they need that control over their lives and other people and so imposes it over them, just like (stereotypically) Rational types use their intellectual prowess to compensate for their social inadequacies or Idealist types give support and gifts to be accepted socially, it's not gender specific.

The ego is such a fragile thing, we all build up very thick and varied walls to protect it to the bitter end *shrugs* that's why it's sometimes better to get an understanding of something by looking at what you lack, what your failings are than looking at what you could be good at or what you want in a situation, Assigning blame is an incredibly pointless exercise.

Please forgive the scattered nature of this post, sleep is in short supply unfortunately and it's taking it's toll.
 
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If we want to be recognized as equals, we need to be aggressive too.

I agree.... although, I would change "aggressive" to "assertive". It's a better balance, especially when tied with confidence.
thumb.gif


I agree with you what you said.

I still think this article is some ignorant bullshit though.
 
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I agree.... although, I would change "aggressive" to "assertive". It's a better balance, especially when tied with confidence. :thumb:

I still think this article is some ignorant bullshit though.

I'm with you on this one. The advice part is enough to make me cringe....let her win...bleh
 
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[video=youtube;4mvdjc7Pklk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mvdjc7Pklk[/video]
 
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I'm with you on this one. The advice part is enough to make me cringe....let her win...bleh

I just realized what I quoted looks like I support the article. :doh:

But to clarify... the statement would've been better if they changed "aggressive" to "assertive". It's a better word that holds less negative connotation. Hell, the whole article would've been better - not even written at all.

I never understood it when a woman complains or states that they're an "alpha female" and that they "do not have the respect that they deserve from a man". I think if most "alpha females" weren't so worried about competing with men and were more comfortable in themselves, than it wouldn't be such a big deal. Hell, no one likes someone who complains and takes piety on themselves, especially if they never do anything about it.
 
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Ok I don't know how to give my understanding other than to try and explain my relationship. It works for us. Don't know if it would for anyone else.

My wife is Italian. Not that that means anything by itself, but her upbringing is sort of taught to be subservient.

Now I grew up with a total 60s mom that swore to kill me if I ever disrespected a women.

So I meet my wife and she's busy thinking I want dinner. I tell her I just want a friend.

My wife us as elegant and as much a show case women as any I've seen.
She is not only the most beautiful thing I've seen, but scary smart. So this can keep me on my toes right. Always wondering what an ass I'm making.
I would never stop her from doing something but I do lecture her sometimes when I think she's missing the point. I guess I'm right cause she fights me till blood starts coming out but she always listens. Sometimes I'm wrong and she will set that straight. But in the end I'm a guy, and call it what you want but there's a line and one I won't cross.
And I might lose the fight but I'll come at you with everything I am.

I think she wants me that way cause we seem to agree. Like I said I leave her alone to be who she is. After all I'm in love with her right so I'm not trying to change her. But there's a point where I like her being strong, but not to the point where's she's not my girl. Even though I know I'm fooling myself, I still expect as the guy I win in the end. Like I said, I know I'm not all that and if I tried to play the card too often it would quickly disappear. But once in a while something will happen or someone will do something and I just stop playing. What I say goes and that's just the fucken way it is. I think she wants that from me. I think she's happy to try different shoes on and she is so capable. Just surprises me all the time. Wish I could be more like her. But in some strange way it's my job to make sure things are ok. And she looks to me for that.

No idea how all that sounds.
I think women should be strong, but vulnerable. I think men should listen and be sensitive, but stand up and be a guy.

Like I said. Take it for what it's worth just the way it works for us and we've been doing it awhile.
 
News flash ladies being feminazis or bitches dose you no favors.

Feminazis aren't as bad as you think. Also, feminazi/=bitch.

But seriously, it's true; when it comes to pathetically immature men (read: no older than 25 years old), if I'm very nice to them, they treat me like a fuck-buddy. So, she's kind of right. Obviously, as everyone who reads this will be very quick to point out, relationships should not be like that, but then, some people are just fucking stupid.

Why did everyone immediately assume that this woman was a feminist? That confuses me. I thought this part especially was refreshingly poignant and honest:
I suggest you don’t date them or procreate with them [bitchy women]. Until then, you can just patiently wait for that magic pill to come out that treats or curbs anger and aggression.
Seriously. Please.

Oh and when I refer to 'bitchy women', I mean this and not this. Just to be super clear.



Regardless men haven't been subduing women by aggression, if that were the case the majority of the male population would be beating the crap out of women all the time since we're physically capable of it
Entirely not true, and yes, they do.

Previously guys have been the protectors
No they haven't. But it's kinda really sweet that you think that.



I'm kind of obsessed with the whole idea of a Southern Belle (to be extremely explicit: this southern belle and not this southern belle). Do real Southern Belles exist? I'm thinking 'Southern Belle' in terms of 'ideal Victorian wife'.

Also, I read somewhere that Victorian marriages lasted the longest and were the most stable. A social psychology book I read way back when told me that the extreme politeness practiced between mates during that time was the way to go. Of course there was some outrageous ratio of hookers to London men; this person says the ratio was 1:12. Could it be because being in a Victorian marriage was no fun? Or, were there simply a lot of poor women in London at the time?
 
I value strong women, and find confident strong outspoken women attractive. I wouldnt want to date a door mat, I need someone who can put me in my place because I am a willful boy at times.
 
I don't care for bitchy women at all, it's the fastest thing to flick my attraction switch off. I have friends that like it though, it all comes down to personal preferences. Men and women try to spend so much time putting each other into boxes of "what men like" or "what women like" that we forget that individuals have different needs and preferences.

Also, this thread reminded me of this song XD

[video=youtube;To5bUpOEHcw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=To5bUpOEHcw[/video]
 
^^ agree

i'm gentle and quiet by nature. (but i've got pretty good understanding of power dynamics, have worked with women in domestic violence, understand my rights)

*some* guys like shy girls, too ---- and not just guys who wish to control.

just a preference thing. good thing we all like/want different things. :)