Your Mother | INFJ Forum

Your Mother

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by sumone, Mar 15, 2009.

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?
  1. Pretty normal/average

    17 vote(s)
    26.2%
  2. Mood Swings Galore

    24 vote(s)
    36.9%
  3. Tower of strength

    13 vote(s)
    20.0%
  4. Mentally ill

    11 vote(s)
    16.9%
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  1. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

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    How would you describe her?
     
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  2. efromm

    efromm Truth... Is Painful....
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    I would say my mother is pretty normal. She may worry sometimes more than I would like her too, I also know its worry with love. So I can't fault her for it either.
     
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  3. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    In a bad place mentally because of her childhood. She thinks work is all there is to life. She's an ESTJ.
     
  4. arbygil

    arbygil Passing through

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    Those are the only options? :\ What if our Moms are a combo? Lol!
     
  5. mayflow

    Banned

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  6. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    My mother suffers from post traumatic stress dissorder (PTSD).

    note: I'm so sorry mayflow *hugs*
     
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  7. Silently Honest

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    :hug:
     
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  8. Bored Now

    On Holiday

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    Awww mayflow ::huggles::

    My mom is NUTS... but she had a lot of hard knocks. I'm actually the parent in our relationship. I'm trying to reverse that, but she is unwilling to grow up. She won't grow up as long as I baby her though so I've been doing tough love thing with her for the last year or so. I think it's working.
     
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  9. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
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    I LOVE my mom (she is an INFJ too), she is basicly my best friend. We are very very close. We understand each other better then anyone else. She treated me as an equal and never decived me ever since I was little. Always honest, always caring, always listened. She has helped me grow into the person I am today. Words can't really desribe how close we are, I love her with all of my heart.
     
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  10. TK*

    TK* Community Member

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    Heh.

    My mom?

    Nuts. She's...hahaha...I could probably write a book on her craziness. She's a sad character, really. She was messed up in childhood. Her parents basically fawned over her younger sister and sort of ignored her. She's the "black sheep" of the family.

    At 16 she was put in a mental facility because she tried to run away with this random boy to Washington D.C. Why Washington D.C. I don't know.

    At 18 she got knocked up with me--her parents kicked her out of the house and shunned her from the family. With no one else to turn to, she HAD to stay in an abusive relationship with my father. He was the only one who would take care of her.

    2 kids later, resentful, and mentally depressed, she locked herself in her room and wouldn't come out except to make dinner for us. Leaving my brother and I virtually alone for most of our childhoods. She despised me most of all because I resembled her pretty younger sister. To this day she still "competes" with me.

    10yrs later she abandoned the family altogether at the first opportunity. Realizing that my father, dying, wouldn't be able to take care of her anymore she fled to another man who would.

    She married a sugar daddy and cheats on him. She realizes her sugar daddy cheats on her, but she's not bothered by this. They host fantastic parties, she wraps herself in jewels and furs, and she feels good about herself. She is incapable of loving anyone--not even herself. But feels that living life as a trophy wife is better than not living at all.

    Nowadays, she goes wild--partying, drinking, playing with her friends. Life for my mother is one big party after another. Mentally she's stuck at 16. She tries to act "proper" when her kids come to visit--but honestly, she's not fooling anyone other than herself.

    And that's my mother. ESTJ.
     
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  11. Bored Now

    On Holiday

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    Hey Tk.... does your mom have NPD, because it sounds like it. Tell me if anything on this link hits home if you have the time. http://www.geocities.com/zpg1957/narcissists.htm

    That is basically me and my mother. I didn't write it but I could have.
     
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  12. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    My heart is with you Nickey. Similarly I wen't through the same with my father (NPD).

    May I ask if you know the difference between malignant narcissism and NPD, because I never understood the difference between the two.
     
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  13. TK*

    TK* Community Member

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    Yes.

    Sounds very much like my mother.

    To this day, I can't recall a lot of my childhood memories because my mother would be the main one scrambling them up! She'll lie about things that did happen--lie about things that'd didn't happen! She'll lie all the time to the point where you can't remember what's real and what's not.

    My brother was the "golden child" and I was the "scapegoat." She constantly puts me down when we're together--trying to make me feel bad about being "pretty."

    She'll say in a crowd: "My daughter is so beautiful, isn't she? Just look at her! Isn't she just SO beautiful?" and then she'll glare at me as if somehow it's MY fault that I'm trying to "outdo" her or something!
     
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  14. TK*

    TK* Community Member

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    Malignant narcissists are often violent. Often mistaken as sociopaths. Most serial killers are malignant narcissists. A malignant narcissist feels ABOVE other people and has a ridiculous sense of entitlement. They feel that they are exempt from common laws because they are just so different and special. Often they have dilusions of grandeur and form cult-like followings.

    Unfortunately for me, my dad was malignant and my mother had NPD.

    My dad believed he was a god. Literally.

    http://www.angelfire.com/zine2/narcissism/malignant_narcissism.html

    ETA:
    http://www.officer.com/web/online/Police-Life/The-Malignant-Narcissist/17$41080
     
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    #14 TK*, Mar 15, 2009
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2009
  15. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    Graphic Novel? It'd be a bit depressing, but it sounds like a fantastic read. Series with an end, like Sandman.
     
  16. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    OMG I am so familiar with this!!!! My dad does this all the time because people always comment on how different we look. He is dark haired (big if he keeps it), brown eyes, and dark skin. I'm fair, blonde, and green eyed with hair. So people often comment on how beautiful I am and how different we look and he will glare at me and it will seriously lower his self-esteem to the point where he becomes mad at me.
     
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  17. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    Ahh I see thank you Tk* so essentially Malignant narcissism is NPD but with psychotic and antisocial traits.
    My dad was definetly not malignant in that case (but still malignant like the word) because he never hurt me physically but emotionally.
     
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  18. TK*

    TK* Community Member

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    You have no idea, lol. And that's just my MOTHER, lol. My father is worse!

    Your welcome, Pristine. The second website is the most informative. But it didn't turn blue when I posted it! :( Here it is again:

    http://www.officer.com/web/online/Police-Life/The-Malignant-Narcissist/17$41080

    Edit: Damn, why isn't it working? I guess you can just copy and paste it in. *shrugs*
     
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    #18 TK*, Mar 15, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 15, 2009
  19. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    My mother seems depressed. I don't think she falls under any of the options. She may have mood swings, but she keeps them to herself for the most part.
     
  20. Bored Now

    On Holiday

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    Awww thanks for the well wishes PG! I was most oblivious to both of my parents so I turned out alright... I think. :). ::hugs:: Terrible about your dad, but you seem ok!




    Whoa.. We have more in common than I realized then. My dad was cuckoo in the same way... sort of. He was trying to groom me to be like a shaman/ religious leader and some other crazy crap. Oh man That's a LOOONG story. And my mom is weirdly frenemy-like towards me. I just roll my eyes at her and stay the hell away from my dad. Damn that is a crazy ass coincidence... I found this board by typing INFJ and narcissism into google. I was wondering if growing up with NPD parents turned one into an infj at the time....

    Oh well. I should blog about this stuff...I've been meaning too...
     
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    #20 Bored Now, Mar 17, 2009
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2009
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