Your Armor

[Nixie]

I agree with Barnabas, armored to the hilt.
I tend to think that it may have to do with the introversion vs extroversion process a bit. Just a vague theory that Extroverts create a greater sense of self via others--in that they see themselves in others which is why they crave being with others. Introverts create a sense of self within, which is why they need to be alone to garner their sense of self from inside without interference from others. I make no value judgements that one is better or worse. But it would mean that introverts are closer to their sense of self but feel a greater deal of distance from others (they don't get me) which makes you feel the need to armor yourself.

 

[Saru Inc]

Some walls are more effective than others, and some are built more commonly than others; but walls are always built at some point.

 

[idanl10]

I have a mask, just at school, cause people don't want to see the real me

 

[Barnabas]

Nobody better be stealing my dogs with gun that shoot lava idea, I'm patenting it.


I'm starting to question the idea of wearing masks, the more I think about how I act around people the less I think it has to do with me putting on some kind of show to create an image of of yourself for other.


I'm have facet theory, that most of what we do and how we act are just facets of our personality. People see and are introduced to a single facet of your personality and as time progresses they start to see other facets and begin to get to see a bigger picture of the diamond that is your personality.

So the next time your asked why you build walls. Tell them your protecting your diamond.

 

[monkitman]

I believe I do put on armor which would be my Ti, if I don't care it can't hurt. Now walls are a different story I do test people to see if they can go further. One thing I have noticed about this though is that if I feel like all my friends (and by friends I mean the people I regularly do things with) don't have the potential to make it through the next wall then I feel lonely.

 

[sassafras]

I'm armored like your average armadillo. If I'm not waddling about the Texan desert, you won't be able to differentiate me from a deflated basketball. Master of disguise.

I think a little bit of armor is healthy. I think there is such a thing as being too open with people, just as much as there is a thing as being too clammed up. I learned on my own skin that while some people are quick to take advantage, there are also those wonderful, free-spirits that you can lose out on getting to know because you refuse to lower your barricades. As with anything, balance is key. Be wary of who you let in, but also be aware of who you might be keeping out.

I'm personally struggling with finding just that balance. For years, I never really talked to anyone about what was going on with me because I was afraid of coming across as 'weak' and I think that hesitance to reach out and ask for help (from friends I knew I could count on!) was exactly what got me into the trouble. I essentially locked myself in my own psychological cellar without any sustenance, and without telling anyone where I was. I'm beginning to open myself up a bit more and I have to tell you, it's a major relief.

 

[Reon]

I have armor, a mask, and a sword. It equips me with the abilities to not be seen how I truly am, to chip others people's armor, and make sure that the last thing that happens is that my armor is not broken. I've slowly been removing pieces though.

 

[Kgal]

=Barnabas;383775 Nobody better be stealing my dogs with gun that shoot lava idea, I'm patenting it.


I'm starting to question the idea of wearing masks, the more I think about how I act around people the less I think it has to do with me putting on some kind of show to create an image of of yourself for other.

I'm have facet theory, that most of what we do and how we act are just facets of our personality. People see and are introduced to a single facet of your personality and as time progresses they start to see other facets and begin to get to see a bigger picture of the diamond that is your personality.

... I really like your very descriptive analogy, Barnabas. One can actually begin to visualize their ego or personality as you say as sum of parts. One can also imagine the facets hidden from the light or view too.



So the next time your asked why you build walls. Tell them your protecting your diamond.


Hmm.... I wonder if one could make the facets of their diamond shine so brightly it reflected everything coming at it....

 

[just me]

"
A winter's day
In a deep and dark December;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I've built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Don't talk of love,
Well, I've heard the word before.
It's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

Simon and Garfunkel

I'm really not this bad most of the time, though; just thought of the song.

"
Origin

From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all. "
​

 

[Gaze]

no armor just a front wall.

 

[Sloe Djinn]

I usually armor up something that I obsess about but nobody else cares about, then go walking around with my ass hanging in the breeze and get totally caught off guard by some other means.

As far as the forums, noncomittal impish humor is my rod and my staff. I actually felt embarrassed as hell when I got super concerned about a member who will not be named who seemed to be having a serious breakdown. I contacted an admin about it. There wasn't really much that could be done. Then the next day that member was right as rain as if nothing had ever happened. So, I don't really rain on the parade of anyone who is seriously putting themselves out there, but I'm not really willing to give emotional commitment to any of my fellow members any time soon. BUT I GOTS JOKEZ! ACHACHACHA!

 

[bamf]

I've got a wall, but it has a door for the right people.

My day to day armor is to wear a smile and keep telling myself it's all going to be alright. Tell you what though, it almost always works.

 

[Capt Charisma]

Once not too long ago i hid in my wall where i was safe until i realised, that now i am safe. Now i stand at my gait waiting. But no-ones there anymore, just a sandy wasteland of my life. Now no one is left in this land i guess there nothing left to do but either build a castle... a castle made of glass. Maybe someone will see it now that i have left my fortress. I still wear armour, of leather. Because now i myself an strong enough to take any blows now, i am completely scar tissue, the leather just absorbs a few annoying cuts now. But still, now I am totally alone. Same as always.

 

[Cecilff2]

Feels to me more like costumes and masks. Like being an actor.

 

[Trifoilum]

I think its simply foolish to not build walls. Especially on the internet, where people are blunter than ever.

Oh, so simple and clean and oh so true.

BTW, as per armor. Oh, donned everyone (most of them, at least) in my head with it. *laughs* Some is a full plate armor, the other magic robes or enchanted fabrics. With castle, tower, library and such. Suffice it to say my mental space WILL include some form of armor and walls to protect the things inside.

But I still have that real mental armor too. Its name was Etiquette, and its shield, Secrets. Still new (exchanging the old, more secure but uncomfortable plate armor). Donned it lots of times. And a prickly thorns around it. That being said, with that in mind I'm considering letting the real mental and emotional armor down to foolishly see what will hit me and recover from it. Maybe that will make me stronger.
Or maybe it's just foolish. I don't know.

It's not exactly INFJ thing, though; just a part of a defense mechanism. But I think a lot of 'armor-users' are INFJs.

Does this mean we can make a knighthood of INFJs?

 

[Peppermint]

Why this hurts me, well, she has a theory on it. I have faith in people, and when people show themselves to not be worthy of that faith the disappointment I feel goes beyond that one person and extends to all of human kind. Or something like that. I'm not entirely convinced it's the case.

This occurred to me yesterday. I would say the "armor" is a form of (illusionary?)control. More specifically, control of what and how external stimuli gets to influence you. Being effectively influenced means being a subject to the external stimuli, it means loosing a bit of control.

Perhaps knowing you have been swayed by something you could not circumvent is why it "hurts".

I think that's the reason for my defenses.

 

[middle1]

If you would judge me by what I write here and then would meet me in person you would find that a key ingredient of my personality is absent online, and that is my armor. I wear the emotional equivalent to of medieval plate armor and near nobody is allowed a glimpse behind the visor. I could count on one hand the number of people that got inside the inner circle at any one point in my life.

And I wear this armor because I am very easily hurt. Without it, sticks and stones may break my bones but words will slash my soul.

And I wonder, now, if this is an infj trait, and if it is, what other coping mechanisms the fine people here have developed over the years to keep yourself from letting pain or the fear of it hold you back.

I totally relate absolutely 100% with what you just said.

The amount of pain and fear that holds me back is pretty subjective and I haven't quite mastered any coping mechanisms other than reminding myself that:

I never give myself enough credit

If I fuck up, it a 100 years nobody is going to know it

I have a serious tendency to take things way out of context

And people probably don't pay me a fraction of attention that I think they do.

 

[Milon]

Wow, great thread here! I identify with so much of what has been said.

When I was in grade school, I had multilayered armor - more like a movable fortress, really. I even played a game with myself where I had many locks and chains and vaults, etc to access my heart (I was a robot, and my heart was my secret storage place).

Now, I've taken off most of my armor. And I'm questioning armor more and more. [MENTION=362]Reon[/MENTION] said it "equips me with the abilities to not be seen how I truly am." Why is it that we wish to blind ourselves? Society at large has the idea that entertainment is good and meditation/reflection is weird at best and bad at worst. Why is that? Do we not see that society is made of individuals? Have we forgotten how easy it is for us to go astray and fall into selfish motives and poor decisions? I argue that we must see ourselves as truly as possible.

[MENTION=2578]K-gal[/MENTION] spoke about removing walls - especially between ourselves and our loved ones. I agree. I have torn down every wall (that I'm aware of) between myself and my loved one. It has only improved our relationship. Anyway, what's love without risk? True love requires free will - the ability to choose to love or not to love. Without that risk, relationships devolve into business transactions - owing something, earning something. It looses the heart of what a close relationship can be.

Living without walls and barriers sounds extremely scary, but is also extremely attractive to me. Why should I have walls? People say things all the time, but most of them come without any thought. Why should I give it any more thought than they did? People flippantly say things out of envy, jealousy, fear, pride, etc, etc - why should that prevent me from being me? I don't advocate being arrogant or disrespectful, but I do advocate being free from fear. As Burke said, "what is liberty without wisdom?" On the other hand, if someone says something hurtful that they also thought about, I should consider it. Some of the most profound truths are painful to hear, but well worth listening to.

Ooh, I kinda got off topic there. I try to live without armor, and I try to treat others the way that I would want to be treated myself. After all, that's the world I want to live in, so that's the world I'm trying to create.

 

[Kgal]

@K-gal spoke about removing walls - especially between ourselves and our loved ones. I agree. I have torn down every wall (that I'm aware of) between myself and my loved one. It has only improved our relationship.

Anyway, what's love without risk? True love requires free will - the ability to choose to love or not to love. Without that risk, relationships devolve into business transactions - owing something, earning something. It looses the heart of what a close relationship can be.

Living without walls and barriers sounds extremely scary, but is also extremely attractive to me. Why should I have walls? People say things all the time, but most of them come without any thought. Why should I give it any more thought than they did? People flippantly say things out of envy, jealousy, fear, pride, etc, etc - why should that prevent me from being me? I don't advocate being arrogant or disrespectful, but I do advocate being free from fear. As Burke said, "what is liberty without wisdom?"

On the other hand, if someone says something hurtful that they also thought about, I should consider it. Some of the most profound truths are painful to hear, but well worth listening to.

[MENTION=681]Milon[/MENTION]

Well said Milon.

Risk and the willingness to take a deep look at the hurt caused by one who thought carefully before saying it are steps to tearing down the barriers between peoples. It allows others access to our hearts. This gives one the chance to receive energy from another and then turn around and give love energy out.

I was talking to someone last night about this keeping a barrier up between myself and my SO in the past. I said that for so long I felt something was wrong with Me because I had such intense feelings. Others - including my SO - effectively denied me - being - me by not accepting me and all my intensity.

If I had known I was an INFJ back then and had access to a variety of knowledge about Being an INFJ - I think I would have realized there was nothing wrong with me. And then I would have been relaxed about being me and more open with others - including my SO.

 

[Trifoilum]

Some random, related matter;

If I do have a weapon, aside from armor and shield; its name would be Control.
I guess there's some things I feel very uncomfortable to speak of, unless I hold the control of the flow and the information. I have to take control to feel comfortable about revealing myself, most of the time.

Control + Etiquette + Secrets.

Kinda setting a degree of distance to avoid being hurt....kinda..like...hmm...it feels..kinda politician.