you are INFJ? this analysis might make you reconsider...

[Andy Quellenlicht]

i couldn't care less what others think of me. i do what i want and what i think is right. i take them into consideration and if my best isn't good enough for them they are free to fuck off and have a nice time somewhere else.

are you sure of either your e-type or your mbti-type? i've haven't met an INFJ combined with an e5 yet.

how do you see Fe at work in your personnality, then, if you don't care? (or do you deeply care and don't want to care?) if you're an e5, you wouldn't care so much. but then, how would Fe work ? (which cares a lot)

 

[knight in battle]

I dated an ENTP for over a year...terrible.

That's interesting. The typologists I've read usually suggest that ENTP is the most suitable mate for INFJ's, and the longest friend I've had was an ENTP (and we're still regular friends). My most intimate friend in many ways was INTP, so our introversion was a nice commonality, despite his occasional verbal insults.

The friend that I speak with regularly and/or at length (for hours) is INFJ. We are so similar. I also know a couple of younger INFJ's ─ despite their intelligence or aptitudes, they are bound to be a few notches less than their true selves.

It's difficult for me to let go of people that I've come to be familiar with, such as that very intimate INTP friend, but it's a bad/unhealthy friendship that needs to be pruned (to use religious terminology).

I certainly feel no qualms about INFJ's befriending/dating other INFJs, INFPs, or ENFPs, for example. A healthy INTJ or INTP may also be good options, though Feeling will not be fully conscious.

 

[knight in battle]

i couldn't care less what others think of me. i do what i want and what i think is right. i take them into consideration and if my best isn't good enough for them they are free to fuck off and have a nice time somewhere else.

I'm going through the same thing. I want to be who I am and see who I am without being absorbed into other people's behavior patterns and expectations. I want to wear the clothing that I feel comfortable in (usually a tad more informal or even less appropriate than average), for example, and feel free to be vulnerable, touchy-feely, etc.

And I agree with you... sometimes it's going to mean people need time to get used to you and even hold you at a distance. And I feel that your frustration is partially rooted in not being fully aware of who you are when you don't meet other people's expectations, standards, preferences, and tastes.

That well-kempt, low-key, albeit informal, flair that is our usual selves may not be optimal. The false conflict, as you implicitly suggest, is between other's acceptance or self acceptance. This is false, because other people do not really accept us until we are fully ourselves. What they may accept most of the time is my facade/mask.

 

[invisible]

are you sure of either your e-type or your mbti-type? i've haven't met an INFJ combined with an e5 yet.

how do you see Fe at work in your personnality, then, if you don't care? (or do you deeply care and don't want to care?) if you're an e5, you wouldn't care so much. but then, how would Fe work ? (which cares a lot)

i am a believer in peace and harmony, i believe in democracy, it is important to me that everyone gets along, i want them to feel good and be the best they can be for who they are, i try hard not to thrust my opinions on others especially in ways that are incongruent with their lives, i don't willingly upset people or stir things up for fun. but i can't be someone i'm not. if my core self becomes relevant and someone can't accept it, that's their problem, not mine, and they will have to get over it or they won't be hearing from me anymore. i do the best i can and i can't make everyone happy all of the time. i think it's an indication of poor boundaries to take everyone's preferences and demands personally.

does this answer your question? i don't think i've typed myself incorrectly although i obviously don't have your understanding of these things. but at the same time i don't see myself as obliged to fit a theory. i don't expect it to explain me absolutely.

 

[Andy Quellenlicht]

if you are curious, you might wanna read thomsons section (the pdf at the beginning of this thread) about Fe and compare it to your understanding of it...

 

[invisible]

if you are curious, you might wanna read thomsons section (the pdf at the beginning of this thread) about Fe and compare it to your understanding of it...

my understanding of it is that yes, i do interact with people that way.

 

[Ethereal]

I'm the same way, but it is almost always in response to stress and at those times I come across as cold. Even my twin sister thinks I'm an INTJ...nope...I'm INFJ. I don't want that T anyway, nothing particularly virtuous about it.

Yes, that's exactly it, STRESS triggers me to split off somewhat and become numb which comes across as being cold. When stressed I'm like Lisbeth Salander from The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and when I'm back to my true INFJ self I'm like Amelie. I do feel like I'm a hybrid of the 2 characters!

 

[Miswired7]

The problem is that most people type based on dichotomies instead of understanding cognitive functions... a few answers changed based on circumstances or mood can completely change the type. To say nothing of the fact that INFPs are really dominant judgers and INFJs are really dominant perceivers. IMHO WAY too much weight is given to the J vs P dichotomy in typing.