Why don't women make the first move?

[Switchgirl]

I don't think it's so black and white. I think the term "initiate" needs to be more specific. Are we only discussing why women don't initiate initial contact with a man whom they are interested in..? Or we are we also mentioning initiation in a more physical aspect?

I initiated contact with my current S/o. I've naturally been more drawn to quiet and reserved types. Personally, I am generally uninterested in men whom approach me first. It's personal preference for me.

But just because I initiate contact does not mean I expect to be "dominant" in every aspect of the relationship. Just because a woman approaches a man does not mean she wants to play the dominant role. You can approach a man first and still have him be "dominant" in other aspects.

 

[LucyJr]

Didn't we get to this point because of sticking to our tradition? It is an honest question.

Well, some tings are not dependent on tradition, and most certainly not influenced by tradition.

 

[Eventhorizon]

Must have something to do with where you live in the world because women you would never expect have no issue with bieng ummm... very forward where I live.

 

[Korg]

Must have something to do with where you live in the world because women you would never expect have no issue with bieng ummm... very forward where I live.

Where do you live?

And are you sure it's mostly about geography and not about the vibe you're giving off? Maybe women are forward with you because you exude a receptiveness to advances.

 

[bagelriffic]

So in an age of equality why don't women make the first move?

Shouldn't women approach guys as much as guys approach women?

Sometimes people can get a little nervous or flamboyant around someone who's more in touch with what they want. it can be difficult for them not to be a reaction. i don't expect something different than how they're feeling.

 

[Eventhorizon]

Where do you live?

And are you sure it's mostly about geography and not about the vibe you're giving off? Maybe women are forward with you because you exude a receptiveness to advances.

Virginia outside of DC. And I do not "exude". I am an introvert after all and to have some woman I literally have not met sit right next to me, rub against me is a bit difficult sort out. Its like "should I ask you your name before you start getting even more intimate?"
Doesnt happen any more possibly because I am older and not places where thats more apt to happen. This is one of my issues. Introvert that wants some type of connection besides just sex.
Then of course the women I wish were that foward never seemed to be.

No but seriously I think the US coasts are more...progressive.

 

[muir]

Must have something to do with where you live in the world because women you would never expect have no issue with bieng ummm... very forward where I live.

Is that directed at me?

No i do get advances...but i think there is still an element of being given the come on rather then them just doing the coming on

For example i stumbled across this amusing video of a female perspective on the tinternet the other day (i think iwas trying to find some clip to prove a point about male and female sexuality being different!)

[video=youtube;0u_SjYD5Ymg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u_SjYD5Ymg[/video]

Its a funny clip but at the same time there are some truths in there...when women want something they have to make it seem like its the guy who wants it...whats that about?

 

[Cosima]

I think I spoiled my man by making first move. But I certainly like when someone makes first move.I think, when done right, it can show confidence and positive attitude. It reveals you are not afraid to lose and be rejected and that is sexy.

 

[Eventhorizon]

Is that directed at me?

No i do get advances...but i think there is still an element of being given the come on rather then them just doing the coming on

For example i stumbled across this amusing video of a female perspective on the tinternet the other day (i think iwas trying to find some clip to prove a point about male and female sexuality being different!)

[video=youtube;0u_SjYD5Ymg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u_SjYD5Ymg[/video]

Its a funny clip but at the same time there are some truths in there...when women want something they have to make it seem like its the guy who wants it...whats that about?

Eh? No not at all.

 

[the]

Because women do the attracting. It's not fair to force both roles on them.

 

[the]

Didn't we get to this point because of sticking to our tradition? It is an honest question.

The tradition of biology?

 

[muir]

Eh? No not at all.

What? Huh?

Why do you think women do that thing where they make it seem like you are the one initiating?

Are they ashamed?

 

[muir]

Because women do the attracting. It's not fair to force both roles on them.

lol

now come on where is the equality in that?

This is supposed to be about equality of opportunity!

 

[Yatagarasu]

[MENTION=9401]LucyJr[/MENTION] and [MENTION=731]the[/MENTION] We got to this point of men being the initiators by following our traditions of gender roles. Those gender roles are grounded in the androcentric ideals of our forefathers. Which in turn were shaped by our biology. Tradition is sometimes used as an argument to keeping everything the way it is. Same thing with other social issues such as marriage equality, even though tradition in of itself does not validate those ideas.

 

[muir]

@LucyJr and @the We got to this point of men being the initiators by following our traditions of gender roles. Those gender roles are grounded in the androcentric ideals of our forefathers. Which in turn were shaped by our biology. Tradition is sometimes used as an argument to keeping everything the way it is. Same thing with other social issues such as marriage equality, even though tradition in of itself does not validate those ideas.

Will the sky fall on the heads of womankind if they start making the first move more often?

 

[the]

lol

now come on where is the equality in that?

This is supposed to be about equality of opportunity!

They already have that opportunity.

 

[muir]

They already have that opportunity.

I think something is holding them back

 

[Yatagarasu]

Will the sky fall on the heads of womankind if they start making the first move more often?

I don't think it would but there is a reason it isn't happening. And it is a combination of factors all somewhat directed by our biology.

 

[muir]

I don't think it would but there is a reason it isn't happening. And it is a combination of factors all somewhat directed by our biology.

I will definately support arguments around there being biological differences between men and women and that these biological differences wil have implications for behaviour

Trying to pick apart this particular behavioural pattern might be beyond me

Personally i think this might actually be one of those areas where there are other things at play and that biology is less of a restriction on this issue

For example in the age of contraception and sex for enjoyment i'm not sure the idea that women are being careful about a mate stands up entirely

There are indesputable differences for example womens ability to suckle a child or mens generally greater physical strength but is this not one of those areas where a greater degree of equality could indeed be achieved?

 

[nosferatu]

I do a lot of initiating usually after he asks me to be his girlfriend. But I kind of need him to ask me out, and then my confidence blossoms. I get real hyper and happy that he's my boyfriend so I get excited and sometimes maybe initiate by mistake even when there wasn't intent to initiate, just because I'm happy and excited he's there. When ENTP goes bubbly and cute... o.0 That...Happens... Don't need to be talking every day but I will do things like hug physically to show I am so happy he's there. Or text a hug.