I keep reading articles all over the Internet saying that INFJs are known for being outsiders and not fitting into society.
Yes, there are many articles on the topic. Stop reading them. If you don't want to feel like an outsider stop reading articles that say you are.
However, I can't figure out why. I believe I accurately match the type description, but I don't understand how any of the qualities in the description could make me not fit in. So, using the basic description, could someone please post exact reasons why we don't fit in to society, provide concrete examples involving real-world situations to better explain each reason, and provide some solutions for what we can do to the long better. I am tired of reading these doom and gloom articles that only give a pronouncement with no reasons and no solutions. I do believe the pronouncement is true, but I can't understand why.
: Moody, stubborn, suck at initiating conversation, mistrusting, too private (If you don't open up why would you expect others to? If you refuse to open up, you won't make connections very easily which will make you feel like an 'outsider'), etc. This is all stereotyping. A lot of the isolation you feel is probably largely caused by you with the collection of isolating decisions you make without even realizing it. Anyway, this is all stereotyping and everyone is different. You aren't going to 'fit the INFJ mold' exactly. You are unique, and you have the power to make changes.
I am an INFJ, but I wouldn't label myself as an 'outsider' or as one who doesn't fit into society. I wouldn't label myself that way for two reasons: 1) People often become the labels they embrace whether or not they initially fit them and 2) I don't believe I
am either of those things. Do I sometimes
feel like that, or have I felt like that? Yes, but pretty much everyone feels like that (like an outsider or like they don't fit in) at some point in their life. Feeling does not equal being. You may feel like you are an outsider, but that doesn't mean you are one. You may feel like you don't fit into society, but that doesn't mean you don't. Just because you don't feel like you fit in socially, doesn't mean other people think the same. Your perception of you is not the same as other people's perceptions of you.
That said, INFJs (and introverts in general) make a lot of choices which can cause them to feel and be isolated. Attending less social events, not being more open, and choosing to sit on the sidelines of the action instead of participating.
provide some solutions for what we can do to the long better.
Awhile ago I read a thread in a forum (personality cafe?) about something similar. Someone commented something that stuck with me. They said something like, "My goal is not to fit in, it is to find a place. I am a thermostat, my friend, not a thermometer." You don't have to be like everyone else to fit in. Everyone is different. Perhaps being so aware of all these differences is one of the reasons why you feel the way you do. Society is made up of introverts and extroverts. You are among the introverted part of society; you have a place. If you don't like your place then try to get out there more. Try to be more extroverted, but you'll probably end up feeling burnt out and frustrated. It's best to accept who you are... be okay with you. You do have a place. Don't get caught up in the terminology; your place in society and the world is right where you are. Don't get swept up in some vague journey of "finding your place." You are already there. Enjoy it.