I see, I find your views on forgiveness, while the definition is different from mine, very wise when it comes to making your own happiness a priority.
I see where you're coming from when it comes to you feeling the need to put your priority of happiness before other people's happiness and I agree that they need to reassess themselves in order to learn but I believe that is only one side of the coin when it comes to the need to feel forgiven AND also forgive.INFJ's seek harmony, but some people take it to heart that we want harmony among people OTHER than ourselves and that we see that we feel the need to be martyred as an action to be seen as pure. I think deep down, the true goal of the INFJ is to achieve harmony among people whilst including ourselves.
That being said, the other side of the coin of feeling forgiven comes from the person they have 'sinned' against.
People need to hear it from those that they want to forgive them that they forgive them, they need to take in how they made the victim feel so that they suffer just as much as them and feel enlightened and be able to move on. And this is also beneficial to the victim because they may truly see and understand that the person regrets their actions and truly forgive them. The keyword here is truly.If both parties only ever see one side of the coin, one will only feel regret and the other will only feel like they have lost someone. If both people see both sides, things will be balanced and true harmony is achieved.
Of course, this takes time and an
incredible amount of open-mindedness that I have begun to take steps in applying to my daily life. It is hard and we have to sacrifice some of the principles we've built in order to do it but I feel it is ultimately worth it in the end.
I find it ironic that I have always criticized Christianity for being too discriminant in my earlier years but have realized that it's the people that are the problem, not the religion itself. And Christianity may not be 100% correct but I draw many parallels between it and my own beliefs from it's traits of forgiveness, love, happiness, and Jesus's immense burden brought on by taking in everyone's 'sin' so that he can forgive people for those who are not open-minded enough to forgive them.