Why do we become what we hate? | INFJ Forum

Why do we become what we hate?

Discussion in 'Philosophy and Religion' started by Horatio, Nov 6, 2016.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 8 users.
More threads by Horatio
  1. Horatio

    Horatio In medias res
    Donor

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2012
    Threads:
    28
    Messages:
    3,285
    Featured Threads:
    3
    Likes Received:
    4,223
    Trophy Points:
    475
    MBTI:
    (⌐■_■)
    I am actually taking this topic from another forum (Gamefaqs, as it turns out), but I thought it was good: why do we become what we hate?


    What does the question mean to you, and do people truly become what they hate?

    The best response I saw so far was:

     
    Gale, Kgal, INFJ16 and 6 others like this.
  2. ruji

    ruji Permanent Fixture

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2009
    Threads:
    23
    Messages:
    11,108
    Likes Received:
    20,480
    Trophy Points:
    855
    MBTI:
    xxxx
    What we hate are the things that conquer us. Beyond our preferences and what we believe to be right and wrong, is our happiness. Our subjective notions of right and wrong dissolves in our transition through pain. Eventually we see that judgment and hate gets us nowhere, only action will.
     
    Kgal, INFJ16, Free and 7 others like this.
  3. ihavenofriends Regular Poster

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2016
    Threads:
    3
    Messages:
    97
    Likes Received:
    103
    Trophy Points:
    55
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    intp
    Enneagram:
    ---
    what do you exactly mean by that question,can you give any examples of people becoming who they hate
     
    Gale and James like this.
  4. OP
    Horatio

    Horatio In medias res
    Donor

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2012
    Threads:
    28
    Messages:
    3,285
    Featured Threads:
    3
    Likes Received:
    4,223
    Trophy Points:
    475
    MBTI:
    (⌐■_■)
    This makes a lot of sense. People feel jealous and threatened by others and so to even the odds or surpass them we adopt (consciously or subconsciously) the behaviors and traits that will give us equal footing.

    I didn't come up with the original topic, someone from another forum did, but I think it pertains to the abstract concept of "right vs wrong" that @ruji mentioned above.

    We go against our own morals, or even change aspects of our personality to those completely un-like ourselves in an effort to either understand or conquer someone. Sort of like the saying "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em"– but instead of being a team-player you're acting out of spite.

    Curious as to what the question means to you though?
     
    Gale, Free, Skarekrow and 3 others like this.
  5. ihavenofriends Regular Poster

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2016
    Threads:
    3
    Messages:
    97
    Likes Received:
    103
    Trophy Points:
    55
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    intp
    Enneagram:
    ---
    because humans want acceptance and from childhood are conditioned to believe that whatever society thinks must be moral and thus right,to have a sense of an ego boost and self affirmation by affirming to morals people get an ego boost from doing the moral and "right" thing just so they can fit in,

    i was really just wondering what it meant to you but i thought it was something like a someone who hates homosexuals turning out to be gay etc
     
    Gale, Free, Skarekrow and 1 other person like this.
  6. ihavenofriends Regular Poster

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2016
    Threads:
    3
    Messages:
    97
    Likes Received:
    103
    Trophy Points:
    55
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    intp
    Enneagram:
    ---
    its sort of why socially acceptable and non socially acceptable things exist
     
    Gale and Skarekrow like this.
  7. OP
    Horatio

    Horatio In medias res
    Donor

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2012
    Threads:
    28
    Messages:
    3,285
    Featured Threads:
    3
    Likes Received:
    4,223
    Trophy Points:
    475
    MBTI:
    (⌐■_■)
    This is an interesting interpretation. In this case, the person who was gay always was from the start but grew up in an environment that taught him/her to essentially hate what they are, which can cause a lashing out towards others or the self.
     
    Gale, Free, Skarekrow and 2 others like this.
  8. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Threads:
    39
    Messages:
    1,356
    Featured Threads:
    6
    Likes Received:
    4,518
    Trophy Points:
    769
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    I hate death.
    So, well...... dammit!
     
    Gale, just me, Eventhorizon and 8 others like this.
  9. James

    James There came into Egypt...
    Staff Member Moderator

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2009
    Threads:
    67
    Messages:
    3,227
    Featured Threads:
    6
    Likes Received:
    10,928
    Trophy Points:
    954
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    I'm not sure that we do become what we hate, but I think we are influenced by everything in our environment. To 'hate' something suggests a very strong influence to me, albeit a negative one. Perhaps there is a touch of this. I hope not, but I suspect there is more than a grain of truth in it.

    “Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.”

    Friedrich Nietzsche
     
    Satori, Gale, Scientia and 7 others like this.
  10. CindyLou

    CindyLou Get over it
    Staff Member Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2011
    Threads:
    49
    Messages:
    3,187
    Featured Threads:
    3
    Likes Received:
    5,271
    Trophy Points:
    520
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    6w5
    I think people become what they hate when they've been wronged and refuse to forgive and instead try and change others or the world around them as a way of coping with the pain. It doesn't happen immediately but if you go too long in that state and you will eventually become what you hate.

    A person who is homosexual who outwardly hates gays is displaying reaction formation, I believe that is what it's called anyway. That isn't becoming what you hate as more self hatred from the beginning.
     
    James, Free, Skarekrow and 4 others like this.
  11. LittleLissa

    LittleLissa Permanent Fixture

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2016
    Threads:
    17
    Messages:
    3,469
    Featured Threads:
    5
    Likes Received:
    10,525
    Trophy Points:
    1,329
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4w3
    Fear can make you become what you hate. Fear of trying, fear of living- not really overcoming disappointments and setbacks. These themes come up a lot in literature and I think are true to life.
    A good example of this 'Death of a Salesman' Arthur Miller, a story about a dad, looking back at his life and having a crisis about his sense of failure in life and the lost of his dreams and potential.
     
    Gale, Kgal, James and 4 others like this.
  12. Barnabas

    Barnabas Time Lord

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2009
    Threads:
    261
    Messages:
    5,222
    Likes Received:
    608
    Trophy Points:
    245
    MBTI:
    wibleywobley
    Enneagram:
    timeywimey
    Fear, hate, anger, are safety responses. You feel them when you r something you value is threatened, and once you identify a threat you hone in on as to, you focus on it to keep it from hurting you. You give yourself a sort of tunnel vision making it hard to see the world and it's context around you.

    The emotions aren't bad, they aren't wrong, but they are powerful and with out self control you can lose yourself to them and never even know it.
     
    Gale, James, Scientia and 2 others like this.
  13. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Acceptance IS understanding.

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2016
    Threads:
    31
    Messages:
    3,723
    Featured Threads:
    4
    Likes Received:
    12,923
    Trophy Points:
    1,414
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    MBTI:
    INiFeJ
    Enneagram:
    2w1, 2w3
    Map
    An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

    “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

    The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

    The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

    http://www.virtuesforlife.com/two-wolves/
     
    Gale, Kgal, James and 4 others like this.
  14. sprinkles

    sprinkles Permanent Fixture

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2013
    Threads:
    67
    Messages:
    8,327
    Likes Received:
    2,673
    Trophy Points:
    475
    MBTI:
    xxxx
    Psychological residue. Toxicity.

    When you take something into your mind, it doesn't just go away when you're done with it. It kicks around up there for a while. It makes ripples. Take in enough of something for long enough and you become it. Pretty soon it starts infecting your other thoughts and bleeding over into the choices you make, which may cause reinforcing feedback.
     
    Gale, James, Scientia and 4 others like this.
  15. Eventhorizon

    Eventhorizon Temporally relocated

    Joined:
    May 19, 2013
    Threads:
    215
    Messages:
    13,729
    Featured Threads:
    17
    Likes Received:
    5,988
    Trophy Points:
    674
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    INTJ
    Enneagram:
    5 w ?
    We see it as obtainable where we see love as being mostly unobtainable.
    There was an old kungfu episode where he fell into a pool of what he thought was acid because he thought it was acid. His fear pulled him in.
     
    Gale, James, Scientia and 1 other person like this.
  16. Free

    Free I will love you when you are a still day.
    Staff Member Forum Greeter

    Joined:
    May 18, 2015
    Threads:
    25
    Messages:
    4,603
    Featured Threads:
    6
    Likes Received:
    15,533
    Trophy Points:
    1,039
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    1w2/125
    This has been sourced as being from Gandhi to a slew of various authors and philosophers. Regardless of its true origin, it still rings true:

    "What we dislike in ourselves we dislike in others."

    For myself, its not a matter of becoming what you hate, more of coming to the realization that these things/traits/ideals possibly have always existed within us.
     
    Sadie, Gale, James and 3 others like this.
  17. Eventhorizon

    Eventhorizon Temporally relocated

    Joined:
    May 19, 2013
    Threads:
    215
    Messages:
    13,729
    Featured Threads:
    17
    Likes Received:
    5,988
    Trophy Points:
    674
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    INTJ
    Enneagram:
    5 w ?
    Wow ...been a while.
     
    Gale likes this.
  18. Eventhorizon

    Eventhorizon Temporally relocated

    Joined:
    May 19, 2013
    Threads:
    215
    Messages:
    13,729
    Featured Threads:
    17
    Likes Received:
    5,988
    Trophy Points:
    674
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    INTJ
    Enneagram:
    5 w ?
    I soooo hate this story now because I see it everywhere.

    I starved both wolves...to death. What of your story now?
     
    Sandie33 likes this.
  19. Eventhorizon

    Eventhorizon Temporally relocated

    Joined:
    May 19, 2013
    Threads:
    215
    Messages:
    13,729
    Featured Threads:
    17
    Likes Received:
    5,988
    Trophy Points:
    674
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    INTJ
    Enneagram:
    5 w ?
    I gazed into the abyss and it blinked.
     
  20. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Acceptance IS understanding.

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2016
    Threads:
    31
    Messages:
    3,723
    Featured Threads:
    4
    Likes Received:
    12,923
    Trophy Points:
    1,414
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    MBTI:
    INiFeJ
    Enneagram:
    2w1, 2w3
    Map
    Wouldn't starving both make one empty?
     
    Gale, Free and James like this.
Loading...

Share This Page