Why do older women like to call people honey?

jupiterswoon

jupiterswoon

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Do they realize how rude that can be?
 
Oh mannnnnn. I hate it when anyone, old or not, uses the terms "honey" or "sweetie" when referring to me. Especially during an argument/debate. Or even if they obviously meant well, it just ruffles my feathers in a bad way. It's usually just a lovely obnoxious way to be a condescending dick head and I seriously get heated because of this. When I see it happening to other people it is hard for me not to jump in and be like "dude, they are not your "sweetie" kindly shut the fuck up. Kthx"
 
I think it's nice. Maybe I'm oblivious to the offense. I can tell if someone is being condescending about it and I am no fan of that--but what is so offensive about someone using those terms to address? Is it overly familiar? In certain contexts and if the person isn't creepy I think it's kind of nice..

though I cannot bring myself to call anyone those terms-- not even my SO..let alone a stranger or acquaintance.
I guess I don't mind if people are familiar with me-- I'm open to it but I'm not familiar with others that way.
 
It's really creepy when you're 10 years old and your 60 years old male teacher is like "Yes, my beautiful?" Its worst than "honey" imo Dx
 
Maybe its because I was raised by a black family for a few years, but I got used to it as a good thing coming from that culture :V

Iono, if older women use it I'm okay, I only start side-eyeing if it is a younger woman using it "likewtfareyoutryingtoproveyou'renotolderthanme"

It's super hilarious if a guy uses it though. Every time.
 
Never bothered me. What does bother me is that the little shits are starting to call me sir now, this is odd because I tend to be a terribly polite person and have utilize sir and ma'am for most if not all of my life. I suppose the agitation is tied closely with my refusing to accept that I am age wise a sir. I've always felt the same age...old as dirt...never truly felt my real age until after my long period of consciousness expansion(experimentation with psychedelics) and some of the stresses of digging began to plague me. Silly to be agitated by politeness or pet names, long as they are not condescending.
 
A few of my older friends use it as a term of endearment for me, so I don't mind the usage as long as it isn't in a condescending manner.
 
an older lady who works in my house calls me "sweetie" :lol: i don't feel it fits me but hey, she wants to be nice :D
 
I think it's sad that people are offended, creeped out, etc by the generalized use of terms of endearment.

Personally, I don't mind being called honey or other such names.

I can see how it would be irritating when used in a condescending tone. I'm not sure why people would do that... 'Bitch, please' has such a better ring to it (and even funnier when used on men).

The only name I really dislike is being called 'son' by a peer. If he was much older, it would make sense, but if he's 10 or less years older than me, then it is a silly name to be called.
 
Q:Why do older women like to call people honey?


A: when referring specifically to older women, this word it is generally used as a term of endearment provoked by a maternal instinct to create harmony and community as well as a sense of belonging with whomever they meet. also, by not referring to the individual by his/her name, the older woman acknowledges the importance of the person but only as a member of a larger system, a community, with a generic title like honey.


 
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I just realized that it's possible to post in different fonts!
 
And different Colours.
 
Because old people still understand the art of conversation; unlike you young sexting kids who dont understand the value of creating endearment between strangers and that being friendly is not promoting an imaginary rape culture. Get off your goddamn internets and talk face to face with someone for a change.
 
jupiterswoon said:
Do they realize how rude that can be?
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I've never thought of it as rude, in fact it's never even crossed my mind. I just see it as a term of endearment similar to when my elders call me "mijo". And when elders call me "mijo" I don't get offended because I know there is no intent to be condescending. It's just a term they gravitate towards naturally when speaking to a younger person they care about. And you don't have to be in a close relationship with someone who is younger to care about them. I'm sure people can relate to meeting a little boy or girl and instantly feeling like you care about them. I'm sure older women feel the same way about young adults, it's just a different area of the spectrum we haven't experienced yet.
 
@jupiterswoon

I am trying to imagine how you would find it offensive.

Could it be because it seems too informal or casual, and so having it directed at you makes you feel branded as unprofessional and undignified, causing you to feel disrespected?

Does it make you feel like the person saying it to you knows you when they don't?
 
niffer said:
@jupiterswoon

I am trying to imagine how you would find it offensive.

Could it be because it seems too informal or casual, and so having it directed at you makes you feel branded as unprofessional and undignified, causing you to feel disrespected?

Does it make you feel like the person saying it to you knows you when they don't?
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This was kind of going through my head, too. I'm having a hard time understanding how you can view a term of endearment as offensive. Unless it's clear that the person is trying to patronize me or be passive-aggressive, I think it's sweet. I'd never behave likewise with the person, but I think it's nice nonetheless.

And not to drag this off-topic, but I also agree with [MENTION=2727]Skathac[/MENTION] about being called "sir" but for different reasons. I don't like being called sir by anyone older than me or by people my own age, it feels awkward and unnatural. I use sir and ma'am as signs of respect, but I often feel that other people use them not so much to show respect but more as a force of habit. It cheapens what I think should be used as a sincere honorific.
 
SealHammer said:
I often feel that other people use them not so much to show respect but more as a force of habit. It cheapens what I think should be used as a sincere honorific.
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I don't live in an area where it comes second-nature out of people's mouths, but I agree that I do think it's best if these terms of endearment or respect are used with sincere intention in being respectful and of the speaker trying to treat the person with reverence.
 
SealHammer said:
This was kind of going through my head, too. I'm having a hard time understanding how you can view a term of endearment as offensive. Unless it's clear that the person is trying to patronize me or be passive-aggressive, I think it's sweet. I'd never behave likewise with the person, but I think it's nice nonetheless.

And not to drag this off-topic, but I also agree with [MENTION=2727]Skathac[/MENTION] about being called "sir" but for different reasons. I don't like being called sir by anyone older than me or by people my own age, it feels awkward and unnatural. I use sir and ma'am as signs of respect, but I often feel that other people use them not so much to show respect but more as a force of habit. It cheapens what I think should be used as a sincere honorific.
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That's weird you guys don't like being called sir. I love being called sir. I use it all the time too, it's like my way of saying "you seem like a decent person, from what I can tell I respect you". Except it's all wrapped up in one little word.
 
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