Is it because it challenges what they already believe about themselves?
How are you at dealing with compliments?
How are you at dealing with compliments?
Why do many people have trouble accepting compliments?
- Thread starter TinyBubbles
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I compliment people all the time, with no agenda to manipulate. I just want to tell someone something nice. And if they've never been told that, then great. Hopefully I made them feel good.
I used to just throw back a compliment to them in response, not knowing what to say, but now I accept it and simply say, thanks. I deserve a compliment as much as anyone else.
I used to just throw back a compliment to them in response, not knowing what to say, but now I accept it and simply say, thanks. I deserve a compliment as much as anyone else.
Heh, I'm kind of the opposite. I have such outrageously high expectations of myself that if I receive a compliment, I usually think to myself: "Yeah that's all well and good, but you don't even know - I should be able to do/be so much better than that."
I don't know if they have alterior motives.
I usually go on defense. "What do you want?" is what I usually end up asking.
I usually go on defense. "What do you want?" is what I usually end up asking.
I think they are nice to get, but they can make me feel self-conscious, especially if it's a compliment more personal than "hey, nice scarf" or something. Maybe it's because I'm just not that comfortable with attention or being singled out in general.
I take them a lot better than I did years ago. Back then I was just uncomfortable. If someone was complimenting me, that meant they were watching me! Now they don't bother me all that much, but like many of you, I think a lot of people use them to try and manipulate. As an INFJ, I feel I am pretty good at figuring out which ones are sincere. The ones that are real, give me a feeling of great humility and thankfulness.
yes, but then i'd use my Ni to see if they're sincere! ;P
i pretty much agree with what everyone has said.. it makes me feel singled out, people are paying attention to me, i feel like i could do better.
yea, i used to be pretty nervous accepting compliments... i don't know how to react.. still learning to take it in and accept that i did well. perhaps i'm afraid of getting an ego.. i think it's that and the fact that i'm not used to feeling like i really did enough because i'm always 'working towards something', working towards my goal/ideal.
Because people typically expect an emotional response that might not be naturally
available.
Instead of choosing no response, they choose a negative one in hopes of you discontinuing the compliments.
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I think it's also the nature of the compliment. I'd rather someone compliment the work i do than who i am or who they think i am. Not a fan of compliments about intelligence, attractiveness, etc. I appreciate if someone acknowledges something i've said which is good and thoughtful or thought provoking, but i'm not keen on compliments which are said just to make me feel better.
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Yeah I recognise that. I won't say it, but I'm usually suspicious when I receive compliments. "What does this person want from me?" That thought almost always goes through my mind for a second. I know it's bad. It depends on who gives the compliments though. If it's someone I trust it's easier to accept them.
But overall, I am terrible at accepting compliments. It always makes me feel embarrassed, so I usually try to laugh it away.
+1.
I also get embarrassed easily. But OTOH, I like brandishing compliments. What does that make me? >_>;
I keep thinking that they're amazing for doing that, and that what I did just now? Nyeh, it's substandard.
I have a problem dealing with compliments for the fact that I feel as if accepting them will make me seem egotistical. Also, I feel as if accepting a compliment can lead to disappointing others if I don't live up to the compliment.