Who is your best friend? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Who is your best friend?

Me myself and I ;)
 
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I have had several best friends throughout my life. Each one still carries that banner in my heart even if the relationship itself is not longer "active'.

Currently, my best friend is a co-worker. She is a kick ass, motivated Thinker. She gets more shit done in one day than me and is really good at what she does. I find her soothing to talk to because I don't have to "pretty up" my sentiments about things and can speak bluntly with her. We work together so we see each other every day.

Of course, my sister is also my best friend. People confuse us for twins sometimes although I don't see it. We are completely different. She will cry at the drop of a hat and I won't shed a tear unless it becomes absolutely necessary and even then I will reconsider the wisdom of allowing myself to cry.

I miss having a really good guy friend though. My last one was several years ago. I love the point of view a good guy friend gives you.
 
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Tell me about your best friend. I'm curious. How did you meet?
I have 2 besties.

I met Him my junior year of high school. He was in my A-Day study block, Spanish 4 class, and AP US History class.

I met Her at recess in third grade, but we never really talked. I 'Re-met" Her my junior year of high school during my B-day lunch via a mutual friend.


Why are they your friend?
For Him, I'm not exactly sure why we became/are friends...It kind of just happened.
The same goes for Her.

I think there was a point when we realized we could trust each other, could talk about our highest hopes, and darkest secrets, our feelings, our loves...It's complicated.

How does the friendship work between you?
I guess, it's the fact that no matter what happens, how busy we are, what kind of arguments/fights we get into, we manage to make time for each other, whether by seeing each other, calling,texting, praying, etc.

Are you exactly alike or quite dissimilar?
With Him, it can go either way...depending on what we are talking about. We have similar core values, but different tastes in guys lol and music....he gets nausuated by some of the things I listen to and vice versa, but definitely have common ground. I'm definitely more the optimist and a little less uptight, but a little neater.
We're both focused on the future and what we want with it. I'm probably a tad more social than He is.

With Her, same way. I'm more focused on where I want my life to go, She's more focused on now. I like to plan things at least a week-few days in advance, she likes to do everything last minute. She can cook...I wish I could. I'm more of a bookworm than a TV watcher, and I'm also neater. She's also more introverted than me. We do like the same music and movies, and I'm more of a girly-girl.

What really makes them best friend material?
The fact that both of them are able to handle my roller-coaster emotions, my spacing out when I think about things, the fact that I can't think an speak at the same time, how they love and accept me whether I change or not. They respect my opinions/views, even if we strongly disagree, they are willing to talk things out with me, they are there for me, in any way they are able to. We've been through Mount Everest and the Dead Sea and can still embrace each other and smile.
 
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I have two best friends, one male, one female. It kind of balances things out.


My first one is Janessa. We met in middle school, 9th grade I believe it was or maybe the ending of 8th grade. Either way, it was one of the two. The first conversation I ever had with her was in Gym, and she came up to me and asked if I was okay and I said "Get the fuck away from me!" And she wouldn't leave, she kept chatting until I left. The reason for this behavior of course was that I was going through a hard time- all of the friends I had previously had turned against me and I saw Janessa hanging around them sometimes so I thought they had sent her over to spy on me. I was wrong. The second time we met, her little sister Bailey was bringing something over to the house and my friend Wesley was there and Bailey was like 'is that Wesley?!' he was this gay guy (but he wasn't openly gay yet) in the 9th grade who had like a million facebook friends and everyone seemed to know who he was. Well, Bailey came in and was chatting with my sister because they were friends I guess, and Janessa was with Bailey, and she saw me and was like 'Is that RUBY? I didn't know Ruby lived here" and then that is basically where our friendship started. She would come over and try to hang out with me and we'd hang out and then I found a new crowd of friends with her, we lived just down the block so during the summer I'd always go over to her house. I made friends with her mom and Janessa was naughty- drank and things like that- so I'd snitch on her to her mom and her mom loved me for that. Janessa and I, the good thing about her was I loved her family- they were messy and dysfunctional like our family, and so if I invited her over to a wreck of a house she didn't care. She is laid back and you don't have to entertain her that much. She isn't good with 'deep' conversations, but that's fine, and she's a little boy crazy and really blabs on about that stuff all the time, but she's not one of those preppy girls who all they are about is their looks- she's not superficial and she's really genuine. She doesn't want anyone to get left out or hurt and just is pure at heart. She is also fucking hilarious and makes me laugh ALL the time. I can call her up whenever I need and she listens to me, she's there for me. We don't have the same hobbies or interests but I dunno, I feel like we're similar in the sense that we both like to sit around and eat and watch movies all day rather than actually go out and do something 'fun'. She is an ENFP

Then there is Casey. Casey and I met through my nonprofit group. I remember the first time I met him, he had come a couple of times before but I had never caught him before. He sat down next to me on a couch and played the guitar for me. We chatted a bit. I'll admit right off the bat I thought he was pretty freaking awesome. When we hung out the first time, it was at the hall, this AA place. Anyway that's when we 'really' got to know each other and had a deep talk. I think at that point I was sort of romantically interested in him. But I didn't make any move and once I'd been his friend longer that sort of went away. Basically, Casey is like me, he tells the blunt truth no matter what. He's also surprisingly sensitive and sometimes I am amazed at the deep feelings that come out of him because most of the times he is just making jokes and trying to be funny. What I like about him is, I've called him up crying and HE has also come to me with serious issues of suicide that we've supported each other on. Janessa, she seems to never get upset but Casey is more real and authentic to me. I also enjoy the fact that I have been intimate with him and we were able to share that part of ourselves but not let it get in the way of our friendship. When I didn't want to go further and when I wasn't interested anymore he listened to me, and he didn't make fun of me for feeling cheap and used. I was happy for him when he FINALLY started finding girls who like him and dating because then the focus was off of me, and I think that he's really happy to be with these other girls and lucky for him he hasn't run into any psychos. Casey is just...man, he is nice, includes me on friend get-togethers and understands me. Although he is convinced I'm a lesbian. He is a ESFP.
 
Sting said it best.
I hate to say it. I hate to say. But it's probably me.

This is not to knock the friends I have. I've had very good friends but at the end of the day I am the only one that has been there from the beginning.
 
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I never believed in best friends, to me the idea of a "best" friend seems ludicrous. I view all friends equally, I have different friends for different needs and purposes. Choosing a best friend is like choosing a best color or best cloud in the sky... pointless.

I have 1 friend who is the most emotionally congenial to me, we lose each other for months or sometimes years at a time, but we always find our way back. Even he I wouldnt consider my "best" friend, just a great friend, certainly not someone I do most of the stuff I like to do with, but someone I can bare my naked feelings to.
 
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I always think of best friends as stuck at the hip and can't live without calling each other 5 times a day.

I have several good friends that I love and appreciate just the same.
 
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I don't really have one. I had one throughout elementary and middle school, but we moved away, so he and I slowly lost touch. Now he's living 1000+ miles away, and I haven't talked with him in about 3 years.

Right now I have a couple good friends, but that's about it, and even then our friendships are pretty much just surface level. I don't have anyone I trust enough in my daily life to actually open up to. Everyone else I know in my life is pretty much an acquaintance (at least to me).
 
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I've gone through a few best friends in the past, the most recent one I met in high school. She's an INTJ, so we were very similar in a lot of ways yet still different in others. It was pretty easy to become friends, because we were both laid back and introverted, so we liked hanging out but we also liked doing things on our own. It was that understanding that helped us really be ourselves, I think. We were nerdy, loner types, but we did it together. (This is making me really sad, I miss that :( ) Once we started college, she became more and more interested in being social and meeting more people, whereas... well, I'm an INFJ. I think, as an INTJ, she saw being extroverted as a way to improve herself, and eventually we grew apart. And eventually, she looked back and decided that we were really too different now :/

On a lighter note, I did meet my boyfriend somewhere in there and as lame as it sounds, he is my current best friend. He is an INTJ/P, not quite sure which, but he is the best friend I've ever had. He never judges me, he always accepts me, and a lot of the time, my weird quirks make him love me more. All my previous best friends, at some point, have changed their minds about me and wanted me to be more this or more that.uBt he likes me for who I am.
 
Tell me about your best friend:
Well. She's unique. I really can't describe her in one sentence. She's an INTJ, brilliant, funny, gentle. She's wonderful.
How did you meet?
7th grade. Location: Hallway. :p
Why are they your friend?
Shes my best friend for a number of reasons. She's loyal, trustworthy, and understands me completely. I don't know if I could ask for anything more.`
How does the friendship work between you? Are you exactly alike or quite dissimilar?
We have differences, but there are not many. We are both fascinated with people. We'll analyze their body language, tone of voice, everything. Its never boring. Animals always come up in our conversations, since we both feel they are the most [or one of the] important things in our lives. And what makes it great is we can have stay on a "sad topic" for hours and not really get depressed. I could go on, but I am starting to feel pretty sappy.

-Anna
 
Well...

I had a best friend who I met at the age of 5 at the beginning of primary school. She was the first person to talk to me when I joined. As soon as I walked through the school gates I saw the groundskeeper painting a crocodile and it made me cry because it looked scary. She came and comforted me and then we became best friends from then on. Up until these past couple of years. I think we have both gone our seperate ways really and now we are 2 completely different people. When I moved away she promised me that she would visit me every year and she hasnt visited me once in 6 years, Ive gone down EVERY year. Knowing that Im not getting anything in return... I cant be bothered anymore. Especially the way she treated me last time I went down.

There was also another girl who I met in primary who came to my house like...everyday. We got on really well. Or so I thought, when I found out the only reason she came to my house was because she wanted to be around my dog more than me, that hurt. I always wondered why I was never EVER invited round to her house and that was why. xP

I was upset when I lost my friends from where I used to live, because they were with me through the really bad points of my life. Even though I never really got a lot of support from them or their parents or anyone there really, I was still upset. But Im over it now. Because, I have 2 extremely special people in my life! x3

I have a best friend called Helen, who goes to my school. I swear to God she knows me better than myself. If something is bothering me, she WILL know, and she wont stop until she finds out what it is xP I think we both get on each others nerves from time to time, as in some areas we are completely different people, but in most other aspects we get on REALLY well. There was a massive point between both of us where we like "you annoy me....grrr" but that was due to me and my depression and her own problems also. But everything is all good now :)
Helen is extremely kind and caring, and I can tell her absolutely everything and I know she always listens and helps. :D

Then there is my boyfriend, who is my best BEST friend as well. :3 and who I ALSO think knows me better than I know myself haha. My boyfriend knows absolutely every last scrap about me I think now. He has helped me through so much over the years and has made me a better person in so many ways... He was the first one to tell me "You can do it" and "Everything will be okay, I promise". He believes in me and I love that so much :D He tells me he loves me and means it, and hes made me smile since day 1 and that has never changed, ever :D and I dont think it will change ;3 Im very lucky to have such a kind-hearted, sweet boyfriend. ^^
 
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I have a best friend with whom I screwed up the relationship a little bit due to one unfortunate event which was the result of my uncarefulness (sp?) in the recent past. However, I still think that he is my best friend. We know each other for 4-5 years and since then pretty much went through all our glory and failures together. He is very intelligent, a walking book of knowledge but he seems to have problems making connections between the present events and usually starts dwelling on something until it hurts his head too much to handle any longer. I never had such a close "manly" bond with somebody, so that we can talk and discuss pretty much everything, can spend indefinite periods of time in close proximity with each other and still be OK. He is an IN** for sure, I remember he took the tests in the past but I could never remember exactly his type, which doesn't matter to me anyway.
Some of the best times we spent together was writing poetry, giving each other lines and questions and then comparing results. It usually is accompanied by alcohol consumption and a lot of cigarettes. Then he is an avid fan of hiking, camping and everything nature, so we had our share of adventures in the woods as well.
It is hard for me to imagine meeting another friend like this, invest so much of my mental effort into the friendship as I am usually very reluctant to try to make new friends unless something in the person clicks somehow with me, which happens very rarely.
 
I met my best friend in middle school. We are both reserved, although we have some small differences. We've been best friends ever since, even when I moved away to college. Basically a true bestie, someone to chat with on the phone or, *in girly voice* go shopping! (jk). She is who I consider my closest friend, although technically I have a group of 'best friends' who have been awesome to me.^_^ My family is also in that group, as cliche as that sounds. We pretty much met during the middle school and high school years. After that, I don't think I was able to form such as strong friendships.
 
How did you meet?
I met my ISFP best friend during my Junior year of highschool in Guitar class. I wanted to be a TA (Teacher's Assisstant) at this art class, but the people in the administration building wouldn't let me and gave me the choices: Newswriting, Yearbook or Guitar. I didn't choose the first two because I was afraid that I'd have to interview people and I don't work well in those situations and plus I always wanted to learn an instrument. So I choose Guitar. We sat next to each other. I'm not even remember how our friendship began. It's a bit hazy.

Why are they your friend?
I guess she's my friend because she's sort of like me. Although she says that she's shy, to me, she's the opposite of that and it is what draws me to her. Also her love of the Arts with music and poetry.

How does the friendship work between you?
The friendship we have is close, but not as close as some best friends are. We don't go out every single day. But we still maintain contact via the net about twice a week.

Are you exactly alike or quite dissimilar?
Not exactly alike, but not exactly dissimilar either. Somewaht in the middle. We both love music and poetry. I love books and anime while she loves boys and shopping.

What really makes them best friend material?
She's always there to help me when I ask for advice and I do the same for her. She completely trusts me with her secrets and is not afraid to say her thoughts even though it might offend me.
 
How did you meet?
I met Brian when I was 6 years old, he had just moved in down the block and my mother introduced us I think. He used to come over all the time and play legos.

Why are they your friend?
As for why he's still my friend, Well we've always been friends and he feels almost like a brother to me, probably even closer than a brother actually.

How does the friendship work between you?
It works really well, He's in Africa right now with the service so it's not like it used to be, but it used to be like even if we didn't hangout all the time he was there. We used to go driving around in the middle of the night just hanging out.

Are you exactly alike or quite dissimilar?
Depends on the situation, usually we are quite a lot alike some of our core principles vary though.

What really makes them best friend material?
He's always been there for me and he has put up with far more bullshit from me than is really fair to him. I've missed him terribly in the time he's been out of town.
 
i don't have one, i haven't had one for a while. i prefer not to have that kind of relationship in my life. it's confusing in terms of intimacy. i find it draining and demanding. life has been more peaceful without someone making best-friendship claims on me. i like my alone time and not having to send texts back and forth or listen to all the same cds or read the same books or be obligated to catch up regularly for drinks or whatever etc. the only time i would ever consider this kind of relationship again is with someone i was married to.
 
I have 3 people whom I would consider my best friends, Erica, Connie, and Dale. My brother was also one of my best friends, but he's no longer here.

How did you meet?

I met Erica in high school when I was 16. We were both in band and I believe she was next to me in marching formation that year.

Connie I met in a body art chat room on yahoo about 8 years ago.

I also met Dale in that same chat, about 4 years ago.

Why are they your friend?
Honestly, I don't know; as in, I don't know why they stick by me while everyone else eventually just kind of fades away and I have never been very good about keeping in touch with anyone. I suppose it's because they really understand me and the friendships are really quite effortless for the most part. These are the 3 who are always there when I need them though, regardless of how long it's been since I've talked to them. They are the ones who are never offended if they don't hear from me for a while or if I don't answer them right away. We always pick right back up just as if we'd talked 5 minutes before.

How does the friendship work between you?
It works great...They all allow me to have as much personal space as I need, yet they know they can always get a hold of me if they need to. Sometimes I wish they lived closer by so we could actually hang out more often. Erica lives about 1 1/2 hours away...we see each other usually a couple of times a year, sometimes more...but we text and chat regularly. Connie lives in California and though we've never met in person, we plan to at some point (we're both poor). I've never met Dale in person either (he lives in Australia, I live in the US) but we used to do the online dating thing...we broke up after about a year but remained the best of friends and we both hold a special place in our hearts for each other. Even with all the distance between us, with use of the internet, we've all sort of connected together into a sort of group. Dale and Connie are friends who chat often, and both chat with Erica and her husband regularly.

Are you exactly alike or quite dissimilar?
We are all alike in some ways and dissimilar in others. We are all introverts, some more than others; Dale and I are probably the most introverted. We all hold several similar interests, such as ghost hunting/studies. We all hope to meet up someday and go back to that house in Villisca. Connie and I are most similar out of the 3. We have the same tastes in music, art, movies, etc...and similar life paths. Erica and I are the most dissimilar. She was the more outgoing, popular "preppy" type, while I was more of a non-conformist, quiet, yet bluntly honest type. We've grown more alike over the years, though. One thing that told me that we were always meant to be friends for life was that we both had our first two children very close together...our first two are only a week apart and our second two are only a month apart. We are both divorced from total douchebags also. She was lucky enough to find a decent husband...me, not so much. I am ok with being single, she isn't so much.

What really makes them best friend material?
I think I already mentioned why, but again, they are always there for me when I need them yet don't take it personally if I need to hole up into myself for a while. Everyone else pretty much disappears out of my life eventually but for some reason, these 3 are always there.
 
My INTJ husband. We met in 7th grade, were great buds in high school, then reconnected and married at 40 after we were both divorced. He totally gets me like no other and thinks I'm great. LOL. He is kind and encouraging when I'm feeling so different from everyone else.
 
If dog is a man's best friend, I have had quite a few. I have company with four currently, two males of which love me unconditionally and show it: each with every day of their life. I feel gifted to have them as my best friends. I try to show them the love they show me. I am glad the large, younger one puts up with the small, older bossy one.

I am a people person, too. My "best" friends seem to come and go with the seasons. I would like to think I have a few. Maybe they are the ones that seem to put up with my human frailties and I theirs the most.