which emotions do you find uncomfortable expressing? | INFJ Forum

which emotions do you find uncomfortable expressing?


Community Member
Mar 21, 2009
toward whom and
do they vary depending on the person?

for one, i find it hard to openly express love to family members whether it be physical affection (e.g. hugs, kisses) or through words (e.g. i love you).

i am capable of expressing a spectrum of other emotions toward them positive (happiness, thanks) or negative (dislike, annoyance)...just not open love. i have an inkling as to why that is.

if they say INFJs are cold on the outside and warm on the inside as a generalization, i think in this respect with family, i exemplify that saying quite well.
I don't have any problem expressing myself really... it's everyone else that has the problem! I have to hold back a lot.... because people are retarded and opening up emotionally to others is like handing them a loaded gun. Some know how to handle it and some will just straight up shoot you for a laugh.

*I do however have great difficulty explaining myself and my expressions.
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: sumone
Same as Wyote, I have trouble expressing my inner thoughts. Not my theory ones - like when in class or explaining a point I've read/studied - but rather trying to explain my emotions, my analysis of people, my complex thinking, overall. What makes great and perfect sense in my head, I often have trouble saying out loud - with the rare exception.

I believe that this unconsciously happens because of the fear of being misunderstood or misinterpreted, to be honest. We're so used to it that we end up thinking we can be too confusing or blunt when explaining ourselves. In my case the fear of hurting people also leads me to stumble and mumble my words (I supose because of the accute F sense I've got...)

Other than that, I don't have much trouble showing many emotions, other than joy or humour at times. People tend to be unamusing to me and hardly ever provide the type of mirth I can actually grin at... but that might just be me being a sour b...
most of them.
yes exactly that's it....... the family thing part...

i don't know why!!!!

i can easily express myself with friends and other people or with really close friends, i can show them how i really care for them

but with my family, just my mom and dad and aunts and all(excluding other relatives like cousins--close cousins)

it's DIFFERENT it's like i can't show them ANY of it

so it's SAD because they see me as someone so COLD. UNCARING. and UNLOVING and all that.....:m192:
It depends. I used to have problems with expressing love to family members, but not anymore (I've learnt it somehow). But, not so phisichally, I rather say or do something nice.
Now, I still have problem with hugs in public (friends, family, whatever). Don't feel comfortable. Touching sholders or somethig like is ok, but hugs confuses me still.
None, if I have an emotion, and that's a very big if, I show it because I don't know when I'll have it again. :m100:

It's actually why I'm developing a theory that says most T's are more likely to express emotions because they're weird and they want to know why they feel it. While most F's are more likely to hide their emotions because they want to look logical and not controlled by them.
I have trouble expressing sympathy or empathy. While I will feel it quite alot and understand it. I have a hard time conveying it to others. I get concerned that it isn't to come across as sincere or real. I can not stand fake emotions and as such I try very hard to make sure I don't sound that way. The odd thing is I end up making it come across to others when I feel like I am not expressing any care. I guess it is one of those things where you do it right when you aren't thinking about it.
None, if I have an emotion, and that's a very big if, I show it because I don't know when I'll have it again. :m100:

It's actually why I'm developing a theory that says most T's are more likely to express emotions because they're weird and they want to know why they feel it. While most F's are more likely to hide their emotions because they want to look logical and not controlled by them.
I think you may be onto something with your theory.. I hide my emotions, analyze them in depth so as not to be controlled by them.. The thought of anyone seeing me sad or angry makes me cringe, too. The emotion I'm most uncomfortable showing is anger, though.. because I don't want to aggravate a situation or act in anger.

There are also occasions when I am even alone and feel that I should cry or express something, but am not able to since I work so hard to stifle/control those things. In relationships, I am cold and aloof unless I have analyzed the situation (or deluded myself, either way) until I feel secure.

However, an INTJ I was with was extremely affectionate all the time.. even in public. When he felt something strong, he couldn't hide it. (At least not from me) whether it was good or bad. I remember thinking on occasions that I saw him cry or very angry that he had little experience with these things and so he was overwhelmed. Later, he did tell me that he rarely experiened being emotional in his life.

I don't know if he expresses strong feelings because he wants to know why they are there or if because he's not used to them, he gets overwhelmed.
Last edited:
Extreme sadness and crying....I will cry but usually alone.. And I do have a hard time telling my Dad I love him and my Mother. It makes me want to cry just saying it to them. I can feel this deep emotion welling up inside and it makes my throat hurt to the point I cant speak...
Last edited:
I am very happy-go-lucky and express it greatly. It's whenever I'm angry, or sad, or anything deeper that I have problems expressing. I'm going to have laugh lines before I'm 30, but I don't even have an angry "face" (it serioualy looks like I'm just gonna cry)

Oh, and about crying, I couldn't cry in front of people if I just saw my mother die, but I'll bawl like a baby as soon as I'm alone... I've never figured it out.
I have no emotions whatsoever. I've tried crying, being happy,sad but nothing happens. I'm great at faking though. People think I'm the happiest guy.
Basically I find expressing feelings of attachment really, really hard. I have no problem saying "I really like hanging out with you" but it takes a remarkable amount of courage for me to say "I really like you". I am afraid of making myself emotionally vulnerable. I consider this somewhat of a problem, since people often misinterpret me as being cold or distant, which couldn't be further from the truth. I've been trying to work it out, but with marginal success at best.

:) Actually, I disproved my own theory last night. I remembered that people with Ti are more likely to try and dissect their emotions. Like when I'm feeling something I start to wonder why I'm feeling it, and how I'm feeling it. However, I still express that feeling unless it's something idiotic like sadness when there is nothing sad about.

So in some ways the theory still stands. I think NFPs are more likely to express emotions then NFJs, because NFPs lack Ti to dissect and analyze why their feeling what they're feeling.

So, still, thinkers are more likely to express their emotions, but Ti thinkers are more likely to analyze and express, and hide some emotions that we deem illogical or irrational. NTPs are more likely to become irrational when stressed, too.
Displeasure, extreme sorrow, and embarrassment are the most difficult for me to express in the presence of others. I'm shy about expressing deep affection. I'm OK with more shallow casual affection and more simple sadness.

I think I don't like to draw attention to myself. If I fear my emotions may be out of line with what is typical in my social environment I find it difficult to express them.
every single one of them except anger and hate and happy.
thats pretty much why I'm known for being the most unemotional guy around my friends :D
I find it very difficult to express anger.

Aristotle put it this way:

it is easy to get angry - anyone can do that... but to feel or act towards the right person to the right extent at the right time for the right reason and in the right way ... is a rare, laudable and fine achievement
I have difficulty showing anger, annoyance or pretty much ever negative emotion accept perhaps shyness/embarrassment
Anger/displeasure, and as efromm & tovlo said, extreme sorrow. I have the crying problem too, even when I'm by myself. There have been many times I wished I could somehow force myself to cry to relieve some of the sadness I was feeling, and it just wouldn't come. Also, and I don't know if this counts as an "emotion," but I have a very hard time asking for help or support. I have a hard time expressing neediness.

I think part of the problem with me expressing anger is that I don't even like to feel angry to begin with, it's an unpleasant experience for me. On top of that, I know how I feel when others are angry with me, and I don't want to inflict that on others. That's also part of the reason I have trouble expressing extreme sadness - I don't want to be a downer. (Which is why I feel OK getting all emo here on the forum. I get the sense that my sadness will be accepted without being too much of a downer for everyone else, whereas IRL I get the sense that it really will bring people down.)