it doesn't suck to reconcile if both partners are willing to recommit. What sucks is when your love for someone can make it too easy to let them get away with things because of that all too eager willingness to forgive, at least in my case.
What's your relationship dealbreaker?
- Thread starter Sensiko
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it doesn't suck to reconcile if both partners are willing to recommit. What sucks is when your love for someone can make it too easy to let them get away with things because of that all too eager willingness to forgive, at least in my case.
* Physical or emotional cheating. They strike out automatically. (unless we had children together, then I am willing to work on it)
* He doesn't like my family.
* Too much fighting.
* Too avoidant of fights.
* He's controlling, pushy, disrespectful, possessive, or too jealous.
* Not assertive enough, or too conceding. It doesn't help me when I am interested in knowing what he wants and needs.
* Expects me to take charge of the whole relationship, and is passive. It's like carrying dead weight, I am better off single.
* Holds me on a pedestal, and is unrealistic about who I am (which translates to: he has no idea who I am and he is dating a fantasy)
There are other smaller ones, but they're not really relationship breakers unless they happen all at once.
* He doesn't like my family.
* Too much fighting.
* Too avoidant of fights.
* He's controlling, pushy, disrespectful, possessive, or too jealous.
* Not assertive enough, or too conceding. It doesn't help me when I am interested in knowing what he wants and needs.
* Expects me to take charge of the whole relationship, and is passive. It's like carrying dead weight, I am better off single.
* Holds me on a pedestal, and is unrealistic about who I am (which translates to: he has no idea who I am and he is dating a fantasy)
There are other smaller ones, but they're not really relationship breakers unless they happen all at once.
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- Isn't intelligent
- Too much intrusion on my autonomy and goals
- Too much competition with me for dominance
- Parties too much and/or does stupid party girl crap
- Can't make me laugh
- Too much intrusion on my autonomy and goals
- Too much competition with me for dominance
- Parties too much and/or does stupid party girl crap
- Can't make me laugh
Inability to accept me for the person I am/wants me to change--I'm strong willed but willing to compromise
Too clingy, needy, whines, and/or cries too much--I like sensitivity but damn
Plays games/unwilling to work stuff out/doesn't communicate--I prefer a mature relationship where you can talk about things
Violence--automatically makes me leave and quickly. I am unable to be intimate with a man when I feel unsafe.
Loud grates on my nerves badly. I prefer a more moderate level of speech. I don't know about dealbreaker because I doubt I would get involved with someone who was overly loud to begin with.
Too clingy, needy, whines, and/or cries too much--I like sensitivity but damn
Plays games/unwilling to work stuff out/doesn't communicate--I prefer a mature relationship where you can talk about things
Violence--automatically makes me leave and quickly. I am unable to be intimate with a man when I feel unsafe.
Loud grates on my nerves badly. I prefer a more moderate level of speech. I don't know about dealbreaker because I doubt I would get involved with someone who was overly loud to begin with.
That's a fair statement.
*elaborates*
My other deal breaker would be foolish. In the sense of falling for beauty despite the bad characteristics within. If someone ever tells me they fell for such a person, I would view that person as weak and spineless, and some maneater's leftovers.
Kind of harsh, I know.
I consider deal-breakers things that would end a relationship, so I would have to be in a relationship with someone first before a deal-breaker could come into play. There are plenty of things that keep me from entering relationships with people, and I don't want to list those out. My two big deal breakers would be unfaithfulness and violence against others who are undeserving.
Not respecting me (my thoughts, feelings, or space) or not getting along with/liking my family...and being generally cruel and callous to others as well.
All the other smaller stuff (such as being unfunny, unintelligent, having poor hygiene etc. etc.) gets weeded out in the screening process..before a relationship.
All the other smaller stuff (such as being unfunny, unintelligent, having poor hygiene etc. etc.) gets weeded out in the screening process..before a relationship.
I think for any INFJ the core principle trait that we base our social reasoning on is how genuine that person is.
The derivative of being genuine are things like (not all, but can include more than one):
- Self confidence -> Security
- Honesty
- Caring
- etc.
So things like cheating, latent insecurity, uneven reciprocation, etc. are probably the biggest things for us.
The derivative of being genuine are things like (not all, but can include more than one):
- Self confidence -> Security
- Honesty
- Caring
- etc.
So things like cheating, latent insecurity, uneven reciprocation, etc. are probably the biggest things for us.
