What's in the mirror? | INFJ Forum

What's in the mirror?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Apr 30, 2010.

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  1. Gaze

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    When you look in the mirror, what do you see which you think no one else does? Why? Why is there such a difference in vision?


     
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  2. Puck

    Puck Perilous Pixie
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    1.) Faeries
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  3. Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
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    *Someone who cares a lot

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    *Someone who gets hurt a lot

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    *A person who loves life

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    *A soul that's constantly seeking

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    I don't know that many people see this depth. It's not just in me. Most people don't search very deep into others.
     
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  4. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    When you look in the mirror, what do you see which you think no one else does?
    I see me. (The real me).

    Why?
    People don't know me, or my past, or how things in my past have affected me, and they don't know what I want for my future.


    Why is there such a difference in vision?
    People only see my externals, which are harsh looking. They only see the work I do, which at times requires me to make some very hard decisions and to be very efficient about them. But people who see me day to day don't know what my internal life is like. People think I don't lose sleep at night over some of the things my work requires me to do. People don't know that I suffer.


    This forum is different though - people see something of the real me, without seeing my appearance or seeing me at my duty.
     
    #4 Flavus Aquila, Apr 30, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2010
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  5. rawr

    rawr ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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    this ^^. outta my head QP!
     
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  6. randomsomeone

    randomsomeone Well-known member

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    I generally only see that my hair is uncombed or my beard needs trimming....seriously, that's about it. To see the real me would take more than a mirror.
     
  7. OP
    Gaze

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    The question is what do you see, not whether it is the real you.
     
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  8. randomsomeone

    randomsomeone Well-known member

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    I guess I was responding more to some of the other comments. :)

    If there are things I see and others don't it is because such things are generally not even on their radar. My immediate friends tend to inhabit one period of my life, and there are different chapters with different friends. None of them "see it all"...but I do. Even then, I still have many secrets. They are good secrets, but still little known.

    Now, I'm pretty sure my kids see me primarily as a source of money...they don't fully understand adulthood yet.
     
    #8 randomsomeone, Apr 30, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2010
  9. That Girl

    That Girl Do you have my answers?
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    I see imperfections that (I hope) no one else does. I'm scared of people and have a tendency towards nervous talking. I'm awkward in conversations, especially with girls, because people bring up things that usually don't interest me or that I don't understand. I see a girl who can snap at the people closest to her when she actually really needs their help because she hates showing weakness.
    I also see a kind person, joy, mystery, a mischievous smile, and intelligent and laughing eyes.
    I like what I see most of the time.

    As to how people perceive me, -- I think they see a quiet girl who may come across as aloof because I never know what to say. I don't think they see the nervous person I am. I hope they see the kindness in me. I'm sure they see my mood swings and my constant shift between emotion and logic.

    I believe there is a difference in perception because people are their greatest critic. At least the people who come to this forum seem to be that way. You've looked at yourself in the mirror so often you see past the physical and judge your insides. Whether or not you do so positively is up to you. I think it's healthier to do it that way. Take notice of your flaws and work on them if you believe it absolutely necessary, but rejoice in your strengths.
     
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    #9 That Girl, Apr 30, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2010
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  10. Siamese cat

    Siamese cat Madame Cat strikes again

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    Most of the time my first impression is how different I look from outside than what I'm inside.

    What people get to see is a calm face, a bit of a lingering smile, but general calmness even when I'm drowning in emotions inside.

    I think that no one ever got the opportunity to see the depth of my emotions and feelings because I tend to choke when it comes to expressing them. It's like looking into the abyss, you can see that it's deep, but how deep exactly you can't know until you fall into it.
     
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  11. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
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    I see ugliness, and someone I do not recognize as me...

    I dunno...

    Uhm...prolly cuz i got a screw loose somewheres...
     
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  12. OP
    Gaze

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    I see me, the person I think is me, and the comfort i have with myself which won't ever come from anyone else. But most of the time, all i see is other people's eyes looking back at me . . . confused.
     
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  13. That Girl

    That Girl Do you have my answers?
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    On occasion, I can relate to this. Sometimes I do things that seem to go against my personality and it confuses me. I'll look in the mirror and the person staring back is not who I thought I was before. As soon as you think you have a grasp on yourself something crazy happens.
     
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  14. bamf

    bamf Is Watching You
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    In all honesty I hate looking into mirrors. Ever since I was little I've avoided looking into mirrors. I get all creeped out, but I've never really thought about it until now. I think it's because I'm afraid of what I'll see.

    When I look in mirrors I see someone I don't recognize. The reflection staring back at me has never felt like me. It's a person I don't know, in a body that isn't mine. When I look in a mirror I feel trapped within the physical bounds of a body that has never been mine.

    I don't feel like the person everyone else sees. I'm not as good as everyone sees me as, and I think it's my reflection that scares me. It's like my reflection is taunting me. It's the person people think I am, and the person I can never be.
     
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  15. Ecton

    Ecton Community Member

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    I see the scars where I had my bike accident, or the eyelid that droops ever since that really tough year in college, and the scars from adolescent acne, and the sweat from a long day's work, and the general tiredness that permeates most of my life these days with two little kids.

    But I also see that silly little grin I've always had, my desire to see people for not only who they are but who they want to be, and my ability to see multiple perspectives, even in myself.
     
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  16. OP
    Gaze

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    Yep, how i feel seems at odds with my physical appearance, but it's probably a pretty common feeling.
     
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    #16 Gaze, Apr 30, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2010
  17. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

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    I'm very aware that it is just a shell so when I look in the mirror to check or fix my appearance it's like maintenance and I do it more for others than myself. Other people will have to look at me all day long and I try to keep up appearances for their sake :)
    I think we are our own worst critics though so hopefully people won't see the flaws that we do.

    The other day I was talking to my boss and it was simple planning for next week. Suddenly I realized that all the while she had been talking I was glaring. Out of the blue I came to the awareness that I was kind of scowling. I would have assumed I had a calm or even pleasant look on my face. wth no wonder people's reactions seem strange to me at times! I changed my demeanor instantly and she didn't say anything. So, people really can't get to know me based on what I look like or how I appear. I honestly feel there is something wrong with me in the way that I am not aware of my body language. I forget to pay attention to it.
     
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  18. WellNoWonder

    WellNoWonder Peace Through Action

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    I see a person who is not whole, despite all the things she has that others may consider blessings...

    I see an Artist, who is not sure what her craft is, who is somewhat afraid of becoming that Artist.

    I see a person who should not have listened to others' negative remarks on her skin color and African features; I see a person who has struggled with the concept of beauty all of her life...

    But I also see an intelligent, sometimes coy person, with a heightened sense of awareness of the world around her.
     
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  19. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    Extremely sensitive
    Deeply caring
    Huge will to help other's
    Unshakable integrity
    Generous- because I want people to be happy

    I think I come across as very T and therfore my Fe just doesn't come across to most. The reason for this is because most people either make me feel like, or put me in a place, that makes me not want to share myself with them. Typically, I try to act the way I want to and they either abuse my nature or take advantage. I become embittered with that person, withdraw, and make sure they never really get the real me ever again because then I can't be hurt.

    Furthermore, to keep my self esteem intact, I have to fight. This means becoming overly assertive and defensive (which makes me feel horrible), so that certain people won't think I'm an easy target- and to keep them from shitting all over me. It means that person respects me but it means they'll never be my friend.

    Repeat for any possible meaningful human contact.

    The only person I can truly be myself with is my girlfriend. I hope she seems the person who I see in the mirror.
     
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  20. SweetDreams

    SweetDreams Regular Poster

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    Wow, that's an amazing way to put it! I agree with pretty much everything you said (especially the bolded parts).
     
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