Rite, this post makes me want to hug you. I can't believe you've been through all these things I thought only I had gone through.know that people will always treat as deficient or missing something, but you have the right to recognize that you have a self outside of what people think of you. People will impose their thoughts and expectations on you, to prove to you that you're just as smart or naive as they think you are, because they want to think better of themselves. They will screw you up emotionally, without intention, because they don't know better, and you will be responsible for how they see you and treat you. And you will think you're responsible for how they see you, and in some ways you are, and in other ways, you're not. They were biased and prejudiced enough and because they see your desire to please, and willingness to believe them, they will exploit that innocence. They will see you as socially incompetent because you're not comfortable expressing yourself the way they think you should. They will want to see, from their perspective, confidence so that they can then decide you're worthy enough of their respect. But their respect matters little. Your self respect matters more.
Your insecurities are yours to acknowledge, and NOT a good or justifiable reason to be belittled. Nothing wrong with feeling uncertain about life and what will happen. It's ok to enjoy a moment at a time. They will treat you as an emotional basket case, but all you really need is understanding; don't let them convince you that you're deserving of their scorn. Feel insecure about fitting it if you want, but don't feel obligated to be something they want to make them feel more accepting. You have a lot to learn chica, but you'll be fine. When you get older, you'll reach a point when your self respect matters more than anything, no matter what trials or tribs you go through. Your issues may not be as seemingly relevant compared to anyone else's, but always treasure your spirit.
Not everyone has to like or understand you for you to feel respected for who you are. It's ok if no one gets it. They will make you feel you owe them everything or at least a part of yourself but you only owe what you owe, nothing more. You belongs to you. You're not someone's possession, neither friend, family, or anyone else. You will meet people who are judgmental, bossy, and controlling, and don't care about how others are affected by their attitudes. You will feel intimidated, lost, confused, and out of control. You will feel that they are right about you, that you're not good enough or not proven yourself. But you don't prove anything to anyone but yourself. Value yourself because no one else will. Do not depend on what people think about you. You are more than that. It doesn't mean you're going to be the greatest or best person in the world. It means, you are human, and you have a right to be just as flawed as everyone else without being made to feel less for it. And being smart is just a front. Your sensitivity can be a crutch, don't let it dominate your personality. Learn to develop your strengths as an individual, but recognize your weaknesses. You will feel so much better. Being liked by boys is not a be all and end all chica. That's not where your value lies. People think too much of their opinion and they thrive on the idea that you believe their opinion matters more than it does. Your opinion matters more. That's all for now. And don't forget to enjoy quiet moments within yourself, because that's where you thrive.Love you.
What would you like to tell the child you once were?
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Stand up for yourself, don't let others push you around and use you. They are NOT your friends. Stick with those who like you for you and not what you can do for them or those who are friendly everywhere else, but treat you like shit at school.
You don't need a boyfriend to validate yourself...remember this when you decide whether to drop everything and move to Ohio or stay where you are. This guy and his whole family are mental douchebags.
Be confident, be yourself and stop trying so hard.
You're different, and that is ok. There is nothing wrong with you. You think outside the box and don't follow the crowd. No one will care if you were popular or not once you leave high school. There is nothing wrong with doing well in school and hanging out with deadbeats is not a good idea...these people will amount to nothing in life and will only drag you down.
This is all probably pointless though, because you probably won't listen. Quit being so stubborn!
You don't need a boyfriend to validate yourself...remember this when you decide whether to drop everything and move to Ohio or stay where you are. This guy and his whole family are mental douchebags.
Be confident, be yourself and stop trying so hard.
You're different, and that is ok. There is nothing wrong with you. You think outside the box and don't follow the crowd. No one will care if you were popular or not once you leave high school. There is nothing wrong with doing well in school and hanging out with deadbeats is not a good idea...these people will amount to nothing in life and will only drag you down.
This is all probably pointless though, because you probably won't listen. Quit being so stubborn!
Hug your mom more. As much as you think she is holding you back, she is only protecting you.
Don't XYZ, wait three more months ... you'll be much happier you did.
Learn to take more initiative. Your the 3rd child for crying out loud, no one has the time. You won't get the direction like your siblings did.
Your brother doesn't just think you're stupid, he thinks EVERYONE is stupid. Don't take it to heart, it's his problem not yours.
Don't XYZ, wait three more months ... you'll be much happier you did.
Learn to take more initiative. Your the 3rd child for crying out loud, no one has the time. You won't get the direction like your siblings did.
Your brother doesn't just think you're stupid, he thinks EVERYONE is stupid. Don't take it to heart, it's his problem not yours.
There, there now ... it's just your Wounded Inner Adult manifesting the fucked up patterns your bio mommie and sperm donor modeled for you. Get over it!
Since you are a guy, do not expect to ever grow up....not really. In fact, you'll be quite similar to how you are now when you are in old age.
It's okay to slow down and stand still, honey. In fact, stop and take your time. You can stand still, breathe, and think - especially when you are by yourself. This will help you out in the future.
I know things are probably really confusing right now. It is okay to stop feeling your feelings to avoid the pain if you need to do that right now, I will sort it out when you get older. But always know that your heart is the one source of feelings you can trust, and that you will never, ever be alone or forsaken. Eventually you will grow into a beautiful woman who is kind, peaceful, and hardworking. You will be different than who you may think you might be, but you will enjoy who you are. You have an innate sense of beauty and this can carry you through some of your most difficult times. Know that I love you and that I admire you for all of your noticeable and unnoticeable traits; and that you are wonderful for all the shy, quiet, and average things about you. Don't worry about shining, especially when you feel ignored and inferior in the presence of others who are naturally able to do so. You will find your heart's contentment in other ways. You will be just fine. Life will be great.
Believe in joy, feel hope, and know that the world is beautiful in spite of the destruction you see around you. One day you will be able to put all of that into the past. In doing so, you will venture into a different kind of life. I will be with you, holding your hand and loving you.
I know things are probably really confusing right now. It is okay to stop feeling your feelings to avoid the pain if you need to do that right now, I will sort it out when you get older. But always know that your heart is the one source of feelings you can trust, and that you will never, ever be alone or forsaken. Eventually you will grow into a beautiful woman who is kind, peaceful, and hardworking. You will be different than who you may think you might be, but you will enjoy who you are. You have an innate sense of beauty and this can carry you through some of your most difficult times. Know that I love you and that I admire you for all of your noticeable and unnoticeable traits; and that you are wonderful for all the shy, quiet, and average things about you. Don't worry about shining, especially when you feel ignored and inferior in the presence of others who are naturally able to do so. You will find your heart's contentment in other ways. You will be just fine. Life will be great.
Believe in joy, feel hope, and know that the world is beautiful in spite of the destruction you see around you. One day you will be able to put all of that into the past. In doing so, you will venture into a different kind of life. I will be with you, holding your hand and loving you.
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You're OK, you're an OK person, you don't need to punish yourself. Hold true to what matters to you - don't destroy your creations because you know that will be a way for you to strike at your core, since you know you'll be destroying one of the only ways you're able to express your internal vision externally. Don't do it, because... there's a possibility you won't only destroying those creations in that moment, but your almost your entire ability to express it meaningfully. There's a possibility that the emotions associated with discarding, burning, tearing and ripping everything that mattered to you would be so powerful, overwhelming, that you would stop creating entirely so as to avoid the potential that you might create something, and then soon thereafter destroy it, making a world of pain for yourself.
I don't want to see you sobbing as you rip to shreds or burn notebooks filled with years worth of artwork, or thousands of pages of stories and poetry. Cherish what you have - if you find it necessary to punish yourself (as aforementioned, though - please, please don't), don't punish yourself by attacking who you are. I know that you feel like you don't have control, and that your creations are some of your few possessions, so in part by destroying them you feel like you're exercising some modicum of control, but... it's not worth it. You don't know what you have at stake, and no, you don't deserve to feel what you do before or after you punish yourself.
Please, don't push anyone away. You might not realize you're doing it at first, you might not even be conscious of it as your sentences turn into one-word responses, as you gradually, almost to the point of it not being noticeable, drift away from people. However, you will feel the void after they're gone, even if it takes years to realize what you did. Don't detach yourself from your outer world, you have no idea how much it has to offer.
I would try to rationalize with the child I once was. But I'm not sure I would be able to stop crying.
I don't want to see you sobbing as you rip to shreds or burn notebooks filled with years worth of artwork, or thousands of pages of stories and poetry. Cherish what you have - if you find it necessary to punish yourself (as aforementioned, though - please, please don't), don't punish yourself by attacking who you are. I know that you feel like you don't have control, and that your creations are some of your few possessions, so in part by destroying them you feel like you're exercising some modicum of control, but... it's not worth it. You don't know what you have at stake, and no, you don't deserve to feel what you do before or after you punish yourself.
Please, don't push anyone away. You might not realize you're doing it at first, you might not even be conscious of it as your sentences turn into one-word responses, as you gradually, almost to the point of it not being noticeable, drift away from people. However, you will feel the void after they're gone, even if it takes years to realize what you did. Don't detach yourself from your outer world, you have no idea how much it has to offer.
I would try to rationalize with the child I once was. But I'm not sure I would be able to stop crying.
I would have you go quite in the opposite direction and tell her you love her while hugging her till the tears stream down to the sea...
Girls are not impressed by Ren and Stimpy impersonations.
The law of diminishing returns applies to hair gel.
The law of diminishing returns applies to hair gel.
It’s OK to not keep a secret if that secret is one a grown-up manipulated you into keeping, and that secret is about the coercive ways they used so as to meet their sexual needs through you, dear child. It’s OK to tell someone.
You have ADHD-PI. There are meds for it that can help you. There are people who can teach you things that can help you. If you are Dx’d and Rx’d, you might do something with that potential they keep harping on about, not to mention perhaps never cultivating thinking patterns that will result in dysthymia, or for that matter, perhaps never choosing to become a drug addict.
The sooner you learn acceptance through mindful awareness, the better off you will be.
You have ADHD-PI. There are meds for it that can help you. There are people who can teach you things that can help you. If you are Dx’d and Rx’d, you might do something with that potential they keep harping on about, not to mention perhaps never cultivating thinking patterns that will result in dysthymia, or for that matter, perhaps never choosing to become a drug addict.
The sooner you learn acceptance through mindful awareness, the better off you will be.
It's okay. You move out, they get divorced, and life gets way, way better. Trust me.
Also, stick with the languages thing. You'll be loving that 'nonsense' language you made, here in about 8 or 9 years or so. It becomes something absolutely beautiful and priceless. Op
Also, stick with the languages thing. You'll be loving that 'nonsense' language you made, here in about 8 or 9 years or so. It becomes something absolutely beautiful and priceless. Op
It isn't going to get easier. It will stay the same. Your job is to try to have some small amount of fun with it, somehow.