What types do INFJs get along with? | INFJ Forum

What types do INFJs get along with?

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by Lurker, Aug 12, 2008.

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  1. Lurker

    Lurker Has nothing to destroy
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    So, which types do you INFJs generally get along with?

    And do you find that you relate to each other NF type well?
     
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  2. Motor Jax

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    i find i can associate on an NJ type very well... most other types too... but to talk technical stuff and other intuitive, inventive types, i get along with NT/FJ types
     
  3. Kwistalline

    Kwistalline Permanent Fixture

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    Intriguing question. I think it depends on the individual. To date, the only type I have nEVER been able to get along with is ISTJ. Other types do not bother me one iota. ESFJ/P are annoying, granted, but I can live with them, for the most part. ISTJ are intolerable, but only because they are outwardly intolerant of me . . .
     
  4. SuperFob

    SuperFob Regular Poster

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    ENFP's are supposed to be the INFJ's 'natural mate', and I agree with that. I always feel drawn towards ENFP's. I think it's so cute how zany and bubby they are. At the same time, they have the same NF ability we have to think outside the box on an abstract and personal level, which makes for great understanding and conversation. They're also very affectionate, which is something I desire in relationships. Gwen Stefani is an example of a more well-known ENFP who I adore.

    I don't really like S's that much (which is a shame, because there're so many of them out there). I especially can't stand my ISFJ mom. She pisses me off SO MUCH with her close-minded, conformist, controlling attitude toward my future, her belief that she is always right, the fact that she rarely uses logic when she argues with me and instead resorts to simply complaining about anything about me she can think about, etc. I'm not saying that all S's are bad because I'm somewhat friendly with some of them (I say that because I've really only had one true friend in my life, another INFJ), but they never seem to understand where I'm coming from when I start sharing my INFJ wisdom with them.
     
  5. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    Keirsey said ENTP... but I prefer it your way since I like INTJs slightly more than INFJs
     
  6. Shaz

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    I get on with NFs in general... I have tons of INFP friends for some reason. I'm not that badly attracted to ENFPs, personally... Maybe I've met the wrong ones. I had a really good ENFP friend but the story didn't end in a nice way, unfortunately. The other ones I know are utterly irresponsible and it sometimes gets on my nerves.

    I like ENTPs much better :mrgreen: (they're not more responsible but they're, they're ... They're ENTPs damn it!). I like open minded NTs (not the ones who think they know everything so much better than everyone else).

    I'm trying to think of S friends I have... Actually I do have a few SP friends. But I'm generally not as close to them as I am to the N ones. It's good to have them to keep in touch with reality, not to become too lost in my own world.

    I tend to get along with Ps better (apart from NFJs who resemble me so much - but they're so damn rare). Wonder why.
     
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  7. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    I DO SO KNOW EVERYTHING MUCH BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE!!! :mrgreen:
     
  8. Shaz

    Shaz Community Member

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    Haha. Maybe my whole sentence was a paradox.
     
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  9. Starry Night

    Starry Night Regular Poster

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    I get along best with NFJs

    then with good developed NFPs

    In general I get along better with N types.
     
    #9 Starry Night, Aug 4, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2010
  10. Gaze

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    I think for some seemingly more contradictory types to get along, it probably takes a good amount of perspective taking, consideration, and good ol fashioned understanding, and accommodation.
     
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  11. athenian200

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    This INFJ?

    Let's see:

    NT:
    ENTP
    INTJ
    INTP

    NF:
    INFJ
    ENFP

    SJ:
    ISFJ

    SP:
    ISTP
    ISFP
     
    #11 athenian200, Aug 5, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2010
  12. driro

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    Don't get along with:
    ESFP/J: annoying, shallow, blah. But I like them anyways.
    INTJ: too emotionally callous but they are very logical indeed.
     
  13. Starry Night

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    What do you like about ESFPs then? And may I add ESFJs arent shallow, not really. They may seem so to Ns but theyre not imo.
     
  14. IndigoSensor

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    Old thread is old o_O

    It really depends on the person on which type they get along with. As for me:

    Positive:
    ISFJ
    ISTJ
    INFJ
    ISTP
    ENTP

    Neutral:
    ESTP
    INTJ
    ESFJ
    ESTJ
    ENTJ

    Negative:
    INFP
    ENFP
    ISFP
    ESFP
    ENFJ
    INTP

    When I made this list I averaged everything together. i.e. all of that one type that I think I have met, and factored in all the experience I had. Meaning that I have met good and bad from each, just some more over all then others. Also I am sort of "predicting" what I do best with and what I dont.
     
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  15. Ecton

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    Damnit, now I'm gonna have to go and type all my friends.
    I seem to relate most easily to Ns. S can be a barrier for me, especially an aggressive S.
     
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    #15 Ecton, Aug 5, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2010
  16. Lerxst

    Lerxst Well-known member

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    I used to think I was neutral to many of them, until I come in close contact with one.

    I'm married to an ESTJ - from a practical standpoint it works out well. She organizes and does mundane things like balance the checkbook while I do some of the more creative projects around the house (re-finish antiques, wire up networks, write and play guitar)

    On the other hand, I've worked with a few ENTJ's and can honestly say I wish they would all drop off the face of the Earth. A good one, I can respect - one who's developed some of their Fi side a bit. Many just don't put that much focus on that aspect and even knowing they're ENTJ doesn't help them much.

    At best I ignore them or go out of my way to avoid them. At worst, I'd like to put a bullet in their head and help humanity.

    ENFP's I'd love to love, but I've gotten beat down by them once too often to put much effort into it anymore. For some reason though, I always find myself drawn to them. The biggest problem I've had with them is that "special bond" I think I tend to have with them, I see them have with everyone. And that gets old, fast.
     
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  17. momof3

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    If a person has put the effort into developing the weaknesses associated with their type ... you'll probably get along with just about anyone.

    As for me, I find the people who have T's tend to take more patience on my behalf. The less developed their Feeling side is the more patience it take. They never fail to blurt out something that hits a nerve (and I am really easy-going). For instance, putting down a value I adhere to without even realizing they did it - happens all the time, even after I've verbalized my take on issues. I understand they are oblivious and don't mean any harm (usually), so there's no grudge held, but it can throw a bit of a wrench in my feelings of compatibility with them.

    Until I discovered Myers-Briggs these peoples' occasional completely heartless obliviousness would strike me as odd. I could genuinely like the person & our conversation(s), but be really put off at a thoughtless remark they so nonchalantly state. That and they don't seem to be very good at reading my more discrete body language (which is annoying), unless they are putting forth a conscious effort at that moment, not something they continuously can maintain usually.

    That being said, the people I have formed my most meaningful relationships with have turned out to be T's.
    My husband is an INTP, he's a professor. To his credit he's an art professor & he has a pretty rockin' Feeling side developed - but ONLY for the people he loves most (his immediate family), everyone else would find him to be a classic T (who happens to have relatively decent social skills). I'm a pretty extroverted INFJ & being with me has helped him come out of his bubble a lot. He came across as cold and aloof right when we first met (which is funny because he said later he had no idea he came across that way). He is an extremely affectionate father and husband, touchy-feely, lots of words of admiration, listens to me till my hearts content. But he's not warm to friends/acquaintances, he's polite, friendly, and he's even pretty funny, but not warm or gentle. And completely unconcerned with if his opinions effects another's feelings. For me though, know one on this planet has EVER made me feel so safe and so loved. So, with the right INTP there is potential.

    My dearest friend I have known for 15yrs is an ISTJ. She often times dismisses my suggestions and can appear to be very arrogant and judgmental, HOWEVER, since I KNOW her (and I have been the recipient of many grand acts of generosity, service and concern on her behalf) I know the kindness and desire to do good that she is capable of. But, beware, this type may very well get on your nerves. But look for the good. They can be very loyal, loving and have a great fun & silly sense of humor. I value her dedication to her faith, family, commitments, education, and me :)

    I dated and fell in love (before i met my husband) with an INTJ. He was often times very aloof. He was SO a classic INTJ in so many ways. Despite his intelligence and occasional arrogance, he could be very humble. I think he loved my talents with emotions/faith. We laughed together and we admired each others' intellect. and because he developed feelings for me he was invested in meeting my needs for attention and praise. However, they were not something that easily and naturally flowed from him without effort. He had to remember to do it. In the end it didn't really work out, and I'm glad for it, because my current husband is oh so much more natural at letting his affections pure out. In my limited experience, I think the INTP is more likely to show affection than his INTJ cousin (of course when you are near and dear to their heart).

    Moving on, I have two friends who are ENTJ. I enjoy their E a lot of times, and the structure (and values) they seem to have as J's (i assume). However, that NT combo, again comes out as rude all the time. And because they're extraverts they seem to say more of them! :) One friend seems to have quit an underdeveloped Feelings side and consequently she is very confrontational, aggressive and just plain rude a lot of times. However, she does have times she will back down and apologize. The only reason our friend works at all is because we happen to have an enormous amount of similarities and we share a lot of beliefs. The other friend who has a more developed side is not nearly so bad. She just thinks what she thinks and shes a happy go-lucky, out going person. She doesn't understand why people do behaviors and tends to look only at the behavior itself with little ability (or desire) to take the full picture into account... which, unfortunately, leaves her making some-what harsh judgement calls about people who just need help. The good thing is she still reaches out to them and remains semi-optimistic that they may come to do things as she thinks they should one day. Her's is not empathy or understanding, but happily fulfilling her *duty* as a Christian. The latter ENTJ is also in a better marriage, a happier person, came from a good family and is more developed in terms of her education/career (which makes an ENTJ happy). The first ENTJ came from a very abusive home and has what seems to have a mood disorder (perhaps Bipolar Affective), and his battling a problem with "hoarding" (a type of OCD). So, you can imagine how abrasive an unhappy ENTJ can be. Sadly, she is married to a quiet, soft, sensitive, non-N, ISFP. Neither one can communicate, or speak the other's love language for any extended period of time :/


    So, those are a couple of MY experiences. Bottom line, I love the intelligence of so many T's, but they don't get away without easily ruffling my INFJ feathers (usually, mostly, in the beginning of the relationship. However, if they love you they are more likely to be invested in developing their feelings side towards you). I hope this encyclopedic entry has given you some insight.

    Oh, and ISFP's tend to annoy me a little with their lack of structure & seeming lack of ambition at times. but overall they are good company.

    My mom is an INFP and her lack of logic can be very trying at times. She also is not happy with herself at all which can be difficult.

    One of my best friends from childhood is an ESTP. We had a lot of fights. We speak different languages. We loved doing things together, and I was more of a follower in my youth, so we had some great times. She would say lets do this! and it would be so fun! but if we had to talk about anything real ... well, she seemed to lack a lot ability/desire to see the emotionality of things or the value for "what if's" or any future thinking for any amount of time. I probably seemed in the clouds to her is suppose

    My other best friend (her twin sister) is an ENFJ - I like them. They're a lot like me, but the difference seems to be their need to help people in an overt way, and i take a more gentle way to go about helping or teaching people. and if I am criticized i will think about it till i have a conclusion as to why they would have tought such a thing. the ENFJ will just be offended/hurt (a blow to their character) and then tend to sweep it under the rug not wanting confrontation. INFJ's get anal about figuring out what they meant and why they may have said that. My husband has listened to me analyze/vent for tens of thousands of hours. He's a saint. They also are more apt to turn to manipulation (but its justified in their mind/morals). They are usually the people that are JUST like you! (if your an "extroverted" INFJ)... until your need for introversion puts a bit of a break on things. And perhaps their lack of taking time to them self makes them cranky, since they tend to ignore their own needs for a great lengths of time.

    and the type of people who i really like and admire and make great, happy housewives are ESFJ's. but don't offend them or they will turn on you... forever it seems. and they don't seem to have any desire for theoretical thinking in the least, and at times, i think may find it hard to fully understand the consequences of their behaviors.

    my mother in law is ISFJ. they are such sweet mothers. but they are a brick wall if you use any of your NF! they don't want to talk theory either. and eventually will make their peace with you being eccentric. they enjoy the mundane tasks often involved with taking care of a home/family, where the INFJ finds detail-oriented tasks (that have no real value to them) a real chore. For instance, i hate folding cloths and putting away silverware - too much detail for something that needs to be done so often and yields little reward to me. but she genuinely enjoys folding clothes. although, that could also have nothing to do with our MBTI. After all, i can learn to enjoy mundane tasks if I think of them as a time to escape into mind.

    this is getting way too long... good luck!
     
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  18. momof3

    momof3 Four

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    i am new to all of this! just started reading about it a couple of days ago ...

    and tonight while chatting with my hubby i figured out that he is an ENTP NOT and INTP. WOW! makes SOOO much more sense. No wonder he has been SO much better for me than my previous INTJ boyfriend.

    its just that my husband took a quick online myers briggs test and got INTP, so i didn't really question it or his certainty. BUT i kept having to fudge the descriptions for INTPs to make them fit him.

    THIS is him to a T
    http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ENTP.html

    So, in my biased opinion... to get the perfect friend/mate ...
    find an ENTP! for me I love that he has a softer E and a developed Feelings side. I didn't even question him as an INTP when he said it because I am an extroverted I and he is an introverted E ... so we feel just about perfect. He doesn't mind staying in a lot, and we both feel comfortable with the same amount of company over. And he is great at giving me a lot of attention, too. Something i love. I love him to listen to me & he is good at doing it :)

    So, thats my take. And the experts say the ideal mate for an ENTP is an INFJ! (or intj)

    Good Luck to you! :)
     
  19. driro

    driro Community Member

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    True, not all ESFPs are shallow. What I like about them? Well, most of them are very charismatic, charming, have great people skills and good amount of life experiences since they are not always afraid to take risks and their ability to live at the moment. ESFPs can be quite popular.
     
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