I thought about some of the things I would want (I have no partner now) and I realized how many of them might only happen given a certain environment. For example, I can want my partner to be open in that she is emotionally available, both to give and receive, but that requires she feels safe to do so, externally, and also internally. Externally, that means she will be listened to and then receive feedback so she can know she was heard, if not understood. That requires my engagement, acceptance, consideration, and expression, both of my thought and feeling as well as my appreciation for her having shared herself with me. And what she shares is of no consequence to what is required so that she may share, i.e., I want to do my part whether she is happy, or sad, or angry, and sometimes that will be easy, and sometimes not.
That is something I would offer, and in like kind, it is something I would want.
I would offer conflict resolution that is respectful, and focused on understanding one another by means of nonviolent communication.
I would do what I was able to see her happy, and that might mean going well outside of my comfort zone. That is how important that is to me. Of course, inasmuch as I am human, I’m going to have limits, so there are things I would not be willing to do. But I would do a lot. That is something I would offer, and I would want the same in return.
I love to cook for other people, so I would offer that for sure. And I only need that in return at least 2 days a week.
I would offer my easy-going nature. I want people to be comfortable, and for that matter, enjoy themselves because they know they can be themselves.
I would offer fidelity. I have never cheated, and my will is to never do so.
I would offer of myself. I would be intimate, and I mean emotionally and psychologically. In part because that is how I want to be, but also because that is something I need from her.
I would offer my playfulness, such is my need to see and hear people laugh.
I would offer my frugality, that I live within my means, and have no debt.
I would offer that I don’t drink or drug, or gamble. Is that clean living?
I would offer the fact I am committed to my well-being and self-improvement. That means I keep my blood sugar under control, and that I am always willing to learn, and remain open to doing so, among other things.
I’m a hand-holder and cuddler and spooner, for what that is worth. And not just as a prelude to sex! I really enjoy those things for what they are!
There’s surely other things too, but that’s what came to mind in moments of respite from accounting BS.
Thanks,
Ian