What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you? | Page 6 | INFJ Forum

What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?

Cold emotionless and empty being with machine like personality.
Excessive emphases on logic and rationality lacking humanity.
Rigid like it hasn't taken a good shit many moons.
Hyper duality where it is all or nothing his/her way or the highway if even that mach in some cases ie their way or their way so no other way.
Ideologues who are incapable of seeing other points of view and can't find the middle ground with others all with a religious fervor.
Group dependent that without the group not only they are nothing but have no real depth no real personality basically an empty shell.
 
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Many things put me off about people, though to me they all come back to unbalanced self-absorption.
It also depends on what I'm doing. A bad sign in some cases could be a good sign in others.

Personally, I'm also wary about people who share other people's secrets - they likely can't keep mine.
 
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  1. I do not like when people lie about easily disproven information and about things that don't really matter, like their age.
  2. Negative reactions to being caught in a lie that often look like lashing out and being hyper emotional about it and having some long drawn out excuse that the lie is justified and it's because of "people like the discoverer" that they have to lie in the first place.
  3. Using inflated stories of personal circumstances to avoid taking responsibility for anything repeatedly over time and using it as a means into manipulating others to let you off the hook
  4. Speaking one way to a group in such a way to drive a narrative but behind the scenes have a completely different attitude and demeanor
  5. Diagnosing people they don't like with some mental health disorder and having a catalogue of info about the person they don't like to flip through with anyone willing to listen
Most of the red flags that get under my skin have to do with dishonesty and using specific kinds of circumstances to manipulate other people emotionally. This can look like under performing at work but always having an excuse ready and a story to turn on the water works so you don't get questioned again, or lying about simple things and expecting other people should be okay with it because... reasons?

When people cannot own themselves there's always someone or something else to blame so I just can't trust people I've caught in situations like this.
 
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Was thinking this over and not sure these are what I'd call flags, but it's certainly off putting and not something I'd want to relate with. Something a few others mentioned here, and that's coldness, and for lack of a better word snobbish behavior. You could call it arrogance, yes, but snobbishness seems a bit different and only a part of the whole of arrogance. Any stiff in nature, rigid, unaffectionate, unforgiving attitude is not fun. Generally people who think their crap doesn't stink grate my nerves. We all make mistakes. I make my share, as well. The cold stuff cannot do in a relationship as it's a lonely type of relationship which defeats the point, it feels.
 
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Misty said:
Was thinking this over and not sure these are what I'd call flags, but it's certainly off putting and not something I'd want to relate with. Something a few others mentioned here, and that's coldness, and for lack of a better word snobbish behavior. You could call it arrogance, yes, but snobbishness seems a bit different and only a part of the whole of arrogance. Any stiff in nature, rigid, unaffectionate, unforgiving attitude is not fun. Generally people who think their crap doesn't stink grate my nerves. We all mistakes. I make my share, as well. The cold stuff cannot do in a relationship as it's a lonely type of relationship which defeats the point, it feels.
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Also pride in unemotionality and coldness, as if being detached and not having emotional concerns as part of your decisions or opinions makes you a superior being. It's laughable to me because it's delusional. Even sociopaths utilize emotion in their decisions- it's just all about them instead of factoring other people's emotions in. Humans can try to be robotic but there's no way to separate emotion and bias from the human experience. The best we can do is acknowledge them. Being proud of coldness and lack of emotion is just ... Scary. Lol
 
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slant said:
Also pride in unemotionality and coldness, as if being detached and not having emotional concerns as part of your decisions or opinions makes you a superior being. It's laughable to me because it's delusional. Even sociopaths utilize emotion in their decisions- it's just all about them instead of factoring other people's emotions in. Humans can try to be robotic but there's no way to separate emotion and bias from the human experience. The best we can do is acknowledge them. Being proud of coldness and lack of emotion is just ... Scary. Lol
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Yes, this. Spot on, Slanty ^.^. It's like encountering a Calvin Klein ad, in human form. Does not compute.
 
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1. When you confide in someone about something personal then you hear it back word for word from someone else, better yet multiple people.
2. Someone who can look you in the eye and lie to your face knowing that you know they are lying. Yet they think they are so powerful that if they stick to their guns they think they can get you to believe you are the one thats seeing things wrong.
3. Someone that acts sincere and genuine one on one then turns and tries to alpha dog you in front of other people to make themselves look superior over you.
 
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People who cannot respect personal boundaries, or other's property.

I don't mind spending time with people anywhere on the spectrum from hyper considerate to hyper critical, or hyper idealistic to hyper practical; but I don't like people who even begin to wade in on personal matters, or personal space un-invited, or help themselves to others' belongings without permission.
 
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Being fundamentally dishonest.
 
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Being a human is a pretty big red flag for me at this point in my life.
Also if your shoes aren't tied, that just makes me nervous. No thanks.
 
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I have a horrible judgement of people... or rather i choose not to see it. (it's due to several instances of people saying "you shouldn't judge people." ...even though i can tell by looking at them.)

So instead of their personality traits for a red flag. i use an extention of my self. (my own music) to configure their minds. It's proven effective.

Usually the red flags consists of their talking nonstop while the song i am sharing with them. (which is usually 4-8 minutes... it's pretty reasonable if you've already talked an hour prior...)

Oddly this is also a red flag for a lot of people... which is accounted for. As those who wouldn't find it to be a red flag to be true music lovers... i have yet to find any...
 
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Odyne said:
For me it's two traits:

- victim mentality
- lack of accountability

I stay away from people who show some streaks of either of those two.

What's it for you?
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-Cruelty (for any reason, but especially those who are intentionally cruel)
-Lack of personal responsibility (an unwillingness to own up to their choices and decisions, not being able to look further into their actions to see the consequences of such behaviors, misplaced blame, victim mentality, immaturity in decision-making)
-Arrogance (either placing themselves on a pedestal, or placing others on a pedestal-- we're all fallible here)
-Indifference/Apathy (stubborn refusal to see past their own nose or to demonstrate careful attention to anyone or anything)
 
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Anomaly said:
-Cruelty (for any reason, but especially those who are intentionally cruel)
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"Cruelty is the worst thing we do."

Richard Rorty is one of my favourite philosophers. This statement is the foundation of his moral practical philosophy.
 
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- victim mentality
- lack of accountability
- Indifference to animals.
- people who don't respect personal boundaries
- high controlling people
- high resistant to accept feedback
- lack of empathy or "selective" empathy...
 
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Ren said:
"Cruelty is the worst thing we do."

Richard Rorty is one of my favourite philosophers. This statement is the foundation of his moral practical philosophy.
Click to expand...

Taking notes! ha!
 
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