What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you? | INFJ Forum

What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Odyne, May 31, 2020.

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  1. Odyne

    Odyne ===========
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    For me it's two traits:

    - victim mentality
    - lack of accountability

    I stay away from people who show some streaks of either of those two.

    What's it for you?
     
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  2. Misadventure

    Misadventure butt fros and asian purrs

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    Superiority complexes, narcissistic tenancies, antisocial (not to be confused with the typical introverted asocial) behaviors all grouped beneath the giant blanketed term of Sanctimonious Douchebag. D-bag for short.
     
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  3. Wyote

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    Basically if a person seems to be illustrating dependence on me or gives off a sense of unquestionable rightness/righteousness then I'm outie 5000
     
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  4. Maikl Jexocuha

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    Total closed mindedness - unwilling to listen, discuss, understand, question, or learn.
     
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  5. philostam

    philostam Community Member

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    This.

    I also hate emotional immaturity. People with attachment issues. Both those who are too cold and those who are too attached and hysterical.
     
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  6. Hostarius

    Hostarius A R C

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    1. Dishonesty of any kind (lies of either commission or omission).

    2. A belief that others are jealous of them.
    3. Envy
    4. Calling people 'idiots', 'stupid', 'dumb', &c.
     
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  7. Maikl Jexocuha

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    Wow, I just had to say: this is, honestly, surprising to me coming from an INTJ.
     
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  8. Hostarius

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    Why?
     
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  9. Lady Jolanda

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    • Inability to apologize.
    • Victim blaming.
    • Ass kissing.
    • Superiority complex.
     
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  10. Maikl Jexocuha

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    The impression I get probably comes from the prominent INTJs I see(especially like Christopher Hitchens who I would see calling people "ignoramus" and such during debates). I just always found INTJs much more open to calling people morons, but it could be a stereotype. So...all in all its refreshing to hear that from an INTJ. (I mean it kinda like a compliment, since you probably have more developed functions)
     
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  11. Wyote

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    INTJs know everyone is an idiot, they don't need to assert it, the idiots will do that themselves
     
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  12. Mistical Ocean

    Mistical Ocean Community Member

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    Everything mentioned above, but I will also add people who call or text to ask if you want to hang out all the time when they're by themselves and all they talk about is their problems and don't have time to listen to yours, and don't talk about anything else.
     
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    This seems like a good opportunity to learn something.
    Isn't envy an emotion and isn't experiencing emotions involuntary? Isn't it what you do with it that matters; wishing or actively causing ill fortune on others is bad, but feeling envy and using it to acknowledge a desire you have and then improve in that area is good.

    What's so bad about calling people stupid? Isn't humanity pretty stupid?
     
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  14. Hostarius

    Hostarius A R C

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    Well, whether INTJs engage in it or not, it's still a red flag because that kind of 'intelligence comparison' is highly suspect to me, as are other behaviours designed to reveal it (e.g. deliberately using words and phrases without explanation that the person knows won't be understood by those they're speaking to).

    The INTJ label seems to scoop up a lot of narcy types by default, and so I wouldn't be surprised if this is where the impression comes from.
     
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  15. Wyote

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    I imagine a lot of them are mistyped and just labeling themselves INTJs to feel cool or something. People are bad at typing themselves, aside from infjs probably, who might be marginally better because they're the most obsessed with learning about themselves, specifically.
     
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  16. Hostarius

    Hostarius A R C

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    We're talking about red flags here - that is, personal heuristics for identifying problematic people. These things aren't necessarily particularly bad on their own, but do seem to be characteristic of personalities that I'm wary of.

    With envy, I think the key is if it makes one dislike the object of envy. The 'assuming others are jealous of you' thing, though, is something I've only ever seen highly problematic people believe. It's a very alien reflex to me and it gives me maximal creeps.
     
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  17. flower

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    Lack of trust (lying), controlling behavior, gaslighting like when you start to second-guess yourself and you can't pinpoint what is wrong or what causes it, being generally rude to other people about everything, aggressiveness.
     
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  18. Hostarius

    Hostarius A R C

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    I've seen a lot of the same issues with more transient members on this site too, though, because INFJ is one of those 'I'm better than you' labels.

    In fact I recently learned about 'Heyoka empaths' (a couple of weeks ago) and remembered that my ex would mention this a lot - when you actually look into it, there's a lot of really creepy superior/inferior language attached to the label. All of that stuff is highly suspect to me: there's a whole class of labels which require nothing to earn and yet functions to proclaim someone's superiority over others, and 'INFJ' is one of them ('INTJ', too, of course).

    This is not so simple, though, since a lot of people feel so relieved after finding out that they're an introvert (and it's fine) or an intuitive (and it's fine) that they - quite understandably - settle into seeing the positives.

    Indigo children can fuck off though, lol.
     
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  19. Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    People who don't do what I say.

    I like agreeable people who just follow orders and don't make too much fuss.

    However, I don't mind being corrected when I am wrong.
     
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  20. Lady Jolanda

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    I'm blue dabadee dabadaa.
     
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