What is that attracts other types to INFJ's? | INFJ Forum

What is that attracts other types to INFJ's?

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by sassafras, Apr 5, 2010.

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  1. sassafras

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    All right, here's a question(s) for non-INFJ's of the forum.

    What is it about INFJ's that attracts you? What INFJ qualities do you find attractive? Do you feel you lack these qualities?

    Do you prefer friendships or romantic relationships with INFJ's? Why?

    What is the closest relationship you've had with an INFJ? Why do you think it worked/didn't work?
     
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  2. Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
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    Good question. I will be interested to see the answers!
     
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  3. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    yay i feel included! :m015:

    their jasmine scented musk, it's irresistible :p
    seriously: genuine, sincere kindness is at the top of the list. you just don't see that in a lot of people these days. infjs appear to care so much that it's almost like they take on your problems for you -which is a bit overwhelming at times, but just highlights how empathetic they can be- it's humbling.
    also, the spiritual faith many infjs possess is quite fascinating, especially for an intp like me, who finds it hard to believe in anything. i get the impression that infjs see more into the hearts of people, and the connections in the intangible world, that i could ever see with my own eyes.

    see above :)
    as for whether i lack them, yeah i do. i don't think i'd find infjs that interesting if they were a lot like me.

    friendships. i get the impression infjs require a lot of commitment to be happy in a romantic relationship, and that would make me quite uneasy. i have an enfp boyfriend actually who i'm partly with because i love his carefree attitude. infjs are wonderful friends though, endlessly loyal and supportive.

    friendship, in real life. friendship here too with you infjs! so far it's going great ;)
     
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  4. Chessie

    Chessie Community Member

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    You know, I've heard a couple of replies on this one from some of my non-INFJ friends. The closest complete answer I could get was that we always seem like something's happening. My best friend said it feelsthere's always hope somewhere nearby when you have an INFJ friend.

    Another said she found INFJ's a little scary and that was a turn on. Intuition mixed with deep caring and the capacity to actually listen rather than just hearing. We're 'uncharted territory' emotionally and in fact often defined by how difficult it is to discover everything there is to know about us and how we behave.

    My ex-mate (Still lover.) had the most straightforward answer. He liked the sense that I would always be somewhere in the world. Ageless. He said it felt stabilizing.
     
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  5. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

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    I find the ability to overtly empathize/sympathize with every individual on the planet mesmerizing. I do not lack this quality, I just do not use it often.
    I think a friendhship with an INFJ is possible (although I haven't had many), if that particular person isn't overtly emotional and self centered (in the aspect that only their emotions matter) I'm not sure if a romantic relationship between an infj and me would work out though. Based on the stereotype, I'd likely find an infj as too weak and dependent.
    Closest relationship? Good friend. It didn't go farther than that because I held some convictions (particularly about the catholic church, the pope, and aids) that she did not agree with at all. I also really don't connect with most INFJs on the emotional level, I guess I have that 'Fi' thing going on and find Fe as a concept I don't really understand.
     
  6. enfp can be shy

    enfp can be shy people vs the bad people?
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    Supermassive hotness!! :p:p:p ... (of your brain, i mean)
    j/k, I don't know. I didn't know about the label INFJ for the most of my life, but it seems I have been platonically in love with many INFJs since very early age. I particularly like that you are open to very weird ideas, and you somehow manage to be a reasonable moral compass, even in the worst situations of impossible unfairness.
     
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    #6 enfp can be shy, Apr 6, 2010
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  7. bs98r3kjf

    bs98r3kjf Well-known member

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    They're just awesome and actually listen to you! I usually understand them and they usually understand me.
     
  8. Roger

    Roger ...

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    INFJs, i love them because they try to listen. This is enough for me. :)

    Love you INFJs :m015:
     
  9. 88chaz88

    88chaz88 Back for a limited time only
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    I only love one INFJ.

    That's not to say you guys aren't awesome too.
     
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  10. DoveAlexa

    DoveAlexa Chaz's Lovey Bunny
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    And what attracted me to him is that he is just plain awesome.

    To elaborate, Intelligent, kind, generous, lots of fun, good conversationalist, good looking, is constantly saving my ass from trolls and whatnot, etc.
    I don't see where the fact that he is a not-so-optimal jung type even comes into play here. If the person is awesome, date it!
     
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  11. Korg

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    They're mysterious. I want to know what's in their head, to figure them out. They're probably good lovers because they can bond with me beyond the physical. I like it when they're the brooding and 'resonating' type which is why I also have a thing for INTx women as well. Really, most any INxx will be attractive to me.
     
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  12. aeon

    aeon Ooh, a bunny!
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    I don't find any particular quality of INFJs attractive in as much as I cannot think of a single quality that all INFJs share, save that of their fundamental humanity.

    No, I do not prefer friendships or romantic relationships with INFJs. I do prefer friendships or romantic relationships with people regardless of how they type on a test.

    I am in a committed relationship with someone who types as INFJ.

    I am reasonably sure she would agree that it works for us, but I don't want to speak for her without her expression, much less mutual consent.


    cheers,
    Ian
     
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  13. Rakawi

    Rakawi Community Member

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    An ENTP once told me it was our refusal to settle, our perceived enigmaticy, and a shared belief in 'forgery through fire' that got him hot and bothered.

    I can see that.
     
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  14. Ecton

    Ecton Community Member

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    Thanks, its good to know someone likes that aspect.
     
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  15. under skies

    under skies Community Member

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    I may be way off topic, but I am just wondering if this is a standard belief regarding INFJs. Do other people feel this way, as well?

    It simply strikes me as odd because I do not see it as being true at all, though I have seen similar statements made elsewhere. I cannot speak for all INFJs, but I have more of a tendency to push even my dearest loved ones away if I feel they are becoming too clingy. I like my personal space.
     
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    #15 under skies, Apr 8, 2010
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  16. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    Yeah, it's bullshit. Most INFJs are very strong, if not in the traditional way, then in their own, crazy little way.
     
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  17. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

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    Distancing yourself from all of your friends, relations, and all that doesn't make you strong.

    My personal view is that if you strongly desire for everyone to like you and treat you nicely, to the point of ignoring what you truly want to have a friendly atmosphere, then you're weak. I have seen INFJs on this very forum do this, that does not mean that they aren't a strong person in any cut of the term, it just means I don't find them to be all that strong.
     
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  18. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    I'd say INFJs value their beliefs more then they value their image. It's what makes them seem uncaring and aloof. Which is a problem for us. We care, alot, but not as much as we care for what we believe in. If you're using the forum to gauge our behaviour, a place where our Fe can run unabashed, then that's kind of silly isn't it? How would it really be reflective of our real life dealings?
     
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  19. Ecton

    Ecton Community Member

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    I'm gentle until I 'splode, and then its a freakin' tempest. And then I apologize afterwards. Veyr useful if some thugs try to mess with me or people I care about, usually comes as a surprise to them. Not so useful in family situations.

    I agree with Reon that 'getalongism' is the most easy form of INFJ weakness, but I think every type has one.

    Anyways, I am way off topic...
     
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    #19 Ecton, Apr 9, 2010
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  20. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

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    I'm not using this forum to gauge your behavior but even with that being side, I don't think it' silly to use this forum for that reason. Most INFJs feel comfortable around this site, comfortable enough to recite their real life dealings and continue to mull over it openly, with the help of various site members who care and want to actively help. Your own stories and ways of telling them show me your real life dealings, and often you talk about the facade you put up to deal with life (Well I had my INTJ persona going on at the lab today!) That's most likely some knowledge that it would take forever for me to learn in "real life" And it's not even about that, real life that is, it's about how you interact with people.
     
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