What do ISTJs want from INFJs? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

What do ISTJs want from INFJs?

ISTJs: they want your body. they use you and then toss you aside. I AM NOT BITTER!

i have an ISTJ friend, irl. when she gets a little "too direct" for my tastes. i just go away. she seems to get the idea. i have a hard time trusting them because it is very easy for an ISTJ to view you as useless. they have a preset notion of what your relationship should be like and function, and once you deviate from that they don't handle it well.
 
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Matt3737 said:
This isn't on topic, but the way in which you describe your roommate leaves me with the impression that if only you (possibly the other roommates aswell?) would take more concern about the responsibilities of the apartment, then you'd both get along much better and the tension between you two would lighten.
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I totally agree on the solution. However, this isn't something I feel ready to do with my low level of emotional/social resilience. Moreover, I may move to a place with lower rent, so my efforts won't necessarily be worth it.
 
sandra_b said:
I like ISTJs a lot. They are direct and to the point and it's refreshing sometimes to deal with someone on a surface level and to give yourself a rest from over analyzing things. I find ISTJ's have a calming effect on me. Maybe because my mother is ISTJ. I've just learned how to navigate their personalities a bit more.
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They definitely have the potential of being calming effects. They are. Maybe my mother is also an ISTJ.... same calming/harmonizing effect with the regular outpour of pointing out deficiencies in me to improve upon.
 
ISTj and INFj (although different in Socionics) are Super-ego Relations to each other. This explains a lot of the conflictual undercurrent of the relationship:

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[h=3]Super-ego[/h] Super-ego relations occur between types whose ego functions are the other partners' super-ego functions. Super-ego relations are generally characterized by differing values, discomfort, and mutual misunderstanding.

Partners in a super-ego relationship are often fascinated or terrified by their partners lack of similarity to themselves. Super-ego partners are constantly aware of their total opposition in values to the partner. Outside observers are often similarly aware.
 
[MENTION=1]Deathjam[/MENTION] this thread seems to be all out of order.
 
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[MENTION=731]uberrogo[/MENTION]

only Matt's post.

So, what do ISTJs want from INFJs? You're in exactly the right position to say. What is an ISTJ doing on INFJs forums for so long?
Perhaps you are a closet INFJ!
 
oh sob
 
I think they want our sanity.. well, that seemed like what the last ISTJ I liked wanted from me.. and I'm even sure if this is a joke
 
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subwayrider said:
@uberrogo

only Matt's post.

So, what do ISTJs want from INFJs? You're in exactly the right position to say. What is an ISTJ doing on INFJs forums for so long?
Perhaps you are a closet INFJ!
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Friendship.
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I hated being here for about a years time. God I hated it. But I also loved it, there were so many assholes. Bad experiences make for interesting things to talk about though and I needed something to correspond to ACD about while I was out of town.
There are certain topics that I find interesting that are difficult to find a bantering partner. INFJs will talk about anything, but especially things I dont want to talk about. I only stayed because there used to be a lot of trolling and some of the wildest non-trolling topics being discussed. A few members like [MENTION=1574]Ria[/MENTION] and [MENTION=1060]dneecey[/MENTION] were nice to talk to and look at so they helped keep me around.
I might be a masochist. INFJs are always on their pedestal and I like to hear how much they think they understand ISTJs. I have never read any origional content on this forum that explains the inner workings of myself. According to the forum I am dumb and shallow. Well maybe I am unbearable but I blame the INFJs for that. I am quite nice.
Ultimately I accept that I wont get along with most INFJs until we have that certain moment when we "click". But it never fails me, everyone wants to be my friend. I just keep on going on with my life meeting new people who dont like me and then giving it time until they adore me.
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I have considered being a closet INFJ.
 
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Grey Wolf said:
I think they want our sanity.. well, that seemed like what the last ISTJ I liked wanted from me.. and I'm even sure if this is a joke
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you'll have to explain

EDIT: yeah, this thread's all effed up.

[MENTION=1009]bamf[/MENTION]
[MENTION=2434]Black Sheep[/MENTION]
 
uberrogo said:
Friendship.
---
I hated being here for about a years time. God I hated it. But I also loved it, there were so many assholes. Bad experiences make for interesting things to talk about though and I needed something to correspond to ACD about while I was out of town.
There are certain topics that I find interesting that are difficult to find a bantering partner. INFJs will talk about anything, but especially things I dont want to talk about. I only stayed because there used to be a lot of trolling and some of the wildest non-trolling topics being discussed. A few members like [MENTION=1574]Ria[/MENTION] and [MENTION=1060]dneecey[/MENTION] were nice to talk to and look at so they helped keep me around.
I might be a masochist. INFJs are always on their pedestal and I like to hear how much they think they understand ISTJs. I have never read any origional content on this forum that explains the inner workings of myself. According to the forum I am dumb and shallow. Well maybe I am unbearable but I blame the INFJs for that. I am quite nice.
Ultimately I accept that I wont get along with most INFJs until we have that certain moment when we "click". But it never fails me, everyone wants to be my friend. I just keep on going on with my life meeting new people who dont like me and then giving it time until they adore me.
---
I have considered being a closet INFJ.
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Lol

No matter what any group of people who are all roughly of the same type say, they really can't understand one so different from them as an ISTJ is to an INFJ. Their experiences being so different from each other, they can really only understand each other in theory. I'm not a fan of the hype that comes with the Ni-dom types. I think a lot of the more visited websites that provide information on MBTI do a good job of adding to it. They're the most rare, and thus, the most sought after.
I'd rather be a Sensor than have to lie to myself to feel OK.
 
This isn't on topic, but the way in which you describe your roommate leaves me with the impression that if only you (possibly the other roommates aswell?) would take more concern about the responsibilities of the apartment, then you'd both get along much better and the tension between you two would lighten.
 
christmas said:
i have an ISTJ friend, irl. when she gets a little "too direct" for my tastes. i just go away. she seems to get the idea. i have a hard time trusting them because it is very easy for an ISTJ to view you as useless. they have a preset notion of what your relationship should be like and function, and once you deviate from that they don't handle it well.
Click to expand...

Amen. Couldn't have put it better myself.
I can understand directness as a combination of S and T, but the "viewing you as useless" is something I've noticed as the most annoying part. I wonder if this "uselessness" derives from a Fi-induced, subjective assessment of a person based on Si/Te.
 
uberrogo said:
I have considered being a closet INFJ.
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This I find inestimably understandable. While ISTJs may not "value" INFJs for their "intelligence" or "knowledge", they obviously are intrigued by them, value their semi-devotedness, share their love of relative stability in surroundings, and linear thought process - though only in passing, because practicality precludes attributing significance to the INFJ's mentality and life's direction.

And yet indeed... what to do with the need for bantering with a (relatively) quiet introvert? Answer: INFJ.
 
uberrogo said:
I see why he treats you this way. Cause you act like a little cry baby and you need to get some spine and humor in your life. Hes going to make sure you develop it or you die trying. Id be the same way.
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Humor my ass. He's the one who needs humor. I banter for hours with my other roommate. And when my ISTJ roommate comes in, the whole atmosphere turns into stone. But yes, it does seem like our design in each other is to reform one another.

He treats me this way, because he himself is in need of reform. I do not act like a crybaby around him. In fact, I was on regular good terms with him. He only turned on me, because he is obviously unsociable and shy and is impressed by my social skills. (And yes, my social skills are inferior, but apparently not inferior to his.)
 
Ultimately the only way to deal with the unsolicited ISTJ verbal jabs is just to rationalize, impersonalize, and move on. The reason why they do this is presumably benevolent, but the undercurrent, as suggested on this thread, is that the INFJ has "violated" the ISTJ's expectation of consistency.

This hints at the ISTJ's admiration for the INFJ and a desire to rescue him. This is why he's drawn to INFJs - because INFJs are relatively safe, while the rest of the world doesn't give a damn about him.
 
I wonder why there aren't any (stand-alone) ISTJ/ESTJ forums. Maybe they have enough friends in their in-person social groups.
 
knight in battle said:
Humor my ass. He's the one who needs humor. I banter for hours with my other roommate. And when my ISTJ roommate comes in, the whole atmosphere turns into stone. But yes, it does seem like our design in each other is to reform one another.

He treats me this way, because he himself is in need of reform. I do not act like a crybaby around him. In fact, I was on regular good terms with him. He only turned on me, because he is obviously unsociable and shy and is impressed by my social skills. (And yes, my social skills are inferior, but apparently not inferior to his.)
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Certainly the problem is him and not you.
 
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