What are your turn offs?

[Lurker]

Negativity is a turn off.....so is arrogance. No shockers there.

Absolutely... I'm adding negative/pessimistic/whinging people to my turn offs, I generally don't enjoy talking to them so I certainly wouldn't get involved romantically. If you can't find the positive in a situation you're probably gonna try to bring me down and I can't accept that.

Confidence is great, arrogance is unattractive.

 

[Elizabeth]

Negativity is a turn off.....so is arrogance. No shockers there.

What about a person who is positive, idealistic and arrogant?

I've dated a few of those. They're unbearable.

 

[Kwistalline]

Intolerance for silliness.

 

[Shai Gar]

Perhaps you could specify what you mean by "arrogant"?

To me an arrogant person would be one who presupposed that they are above or better than another in some way.

That'd be me then. I believe I'm better than most people. Sensaids for certain, Extroverted Idealists as well, I'm equal with a lot of people, and there are people superior to me.

I believe I'm better than most and thus I have a social contract to rule them wisely.

 

[gokartride]

I believe I'm better than most and thus I have a social contract to rule them wisely.

A sense of humor is probably not a turn off.

 

[Satya]

Perhaps you could specify what you mean by "arrogant"?

To me an arrogant person would be one who presupposed that they are above or better than another in some way.

Not a bad definition. Even I fall under the wire of that one.

 

[tereza]

I find it a real turn off when a person speaks too freely about their sex life when we just meet. The last thing I want to know about a potential love interest is that they've had a threesome. Actually, the threesome thing is pretty much a dealbreaker. I've had a crush on a guy for almost three years and one day he told me that he had one. After that, he was moved to the friend zone.

Now if I was to find that out after being in a committed relationship for some time...I wouldn't be as bothered. Slightly, but not too much.

 

[gokartride]

The last thing I want to know about a potential love interest is that they've had a threesome.

Okay, I admit I hadn't considered this.....its' going on my list, too!!!

 

[HenRick]

Not to be mean to any one but I get turned off by girls that act slutty :shock: in public.
I don't really have any dating experience but this one girl turned me off for being simply overly simple (having no depth)
and boring.

Any turn on though?
Here's one turn on I've had. This girl on my swim team was crying because your coach was
going to switch teams. She couldn't control it very well. I thought she was really cute beautiful when she cried
and I noticed how much passion and feeling she had inside of her.
I think she's might possibly be an infj, infp,isfp, or isfj.

 

[Lurker]

I find it a real turn off when a person speaks too freely about their sex life when we just meet. The last thing I want to know about a potential love interest is that they've had a threesome. Actually, the threesome thing is pretty much a dealbreaker. I've had a crush on a guy for almost three years and one day he told me that he had one. After that, he was moved to the friend zone.

Now if I was to find that out after being in a committed relationship for some time...I wouldn't be as bothered. Slightly, but not too much.

I don’t understand, why would that be a dealbreaker? Is it the promiscuity of it or concern that they might be looking for something like that again in the future?

 

[HenRick]

Not to be mean to any one but I get turned off by girls that act slutty :shock: in public.
I don't really have any dating experience but this one girl turned me off for being simply overly simple (having no depth)
and boring.

Any turn ons though?
Here's one turn on I've had. This girl on my swim team was crying because our coach was
going to switch teams. She couldn't control it very well. I thought she was really cute beautiful when she cried
and I noticed how much passion and feeling she had inside of her.
I think she's might possibly be an infj, infp,isfp, or isfj.

Edit Typo not your coach our coach
2nd Edit I Just realized I posted again sorry.

 

[Inkling]

Hmmm....

An overly large ego
One-upmanship that accompanies said large ego (i hate being snidely or abrubly told i'm wrong, even when i willingly accept i am wrong)
speaking too much (allowing no word edgewise) or too little (does he even have a voice?)

...that's all i can think of for now

 

[tereza]

I don’t understand, why would that be a dealbreaker? Is it the promiscuity of it or concern that they might be looking for something like that again in the future?

Well if they're talking about it early on in a relationship, I think they're rather insensitive and lacking in manners. I don't want to hear about past conquests and feel like I'm being compared to them. Also, I'll feel as if the person is bragging and I don't think it's something to brag about (not just because I'm a woman), because most of the women my age who participate in threesomes, aren't exactly the cleanest...

 

[Shaz]

shallowness
narrow-mindedness (is this a word?)
lack of passion
lack of confidence
negativity

 

[littlesapling]

arrogance, dishonesty, carelessness.

 

[gloomy-optimist]

Here's one: spinelessness. I can't go with someone who can't be independent; it's too stressful for me. I'm no one's mom.
Someone who falls in love with me too quickly will probably not get anywhere either. If you don't know me for who I truly am, you have no business being "in love" with me. I can handle infatuation, but when someone thinks they're going to spend the rest of their life with me after a day or two....that puts a lot of pressure on me, both to live up to the expectations of my "outside" self and not to break his heart, which is what inevitably happens. It just totally closes me off.

And I agree with most of the obvious: pigheadedness, sexism, sexual pressure, overly-jealous, quick-temper/ grudge-holder, etc.

 

[Astra]

The line between Self Confident and Arrogant is very thin. Perhaps you could specify what you mean by "arrogant"?

That is such a fine line. I find self confidence extremely attractive. Extremely. But arrogance is an immediate and irreversible turn off. To me, arrogance means not just that you think you're better than some, but better than most, if not all. Personally, I think that I'm better than a few others, but grant that even they could be better than me in ways that I can't recognize. If someone is incapable of realizing that possibility, then I just won't respect them.

My other definite turn-offs (of which there are surprisingly few):

*Not listening.
I don't expect much, but please listen, please pay attention, when I'm talking. Yes, it may not be that interesting all the time, and I can understand if I lose you every now and then. But what I'm saying is important to me, otherwise I wouldn't be saying it.

*Guilting and other types of pressure.
Don't. I don't respond well to it. It makes me extremely uncomfortable, and just plain makes me feel bad. You want me to feel bad? Well there you go. Pressure me into doing something. I'll wind up hating you for it. After I spend an inordinate amount of time being angry with myself.

*Lack of consideration.
Take a minute to think of how your words and actions will affect me. I will always do that for you, and would appreciate the same in return. It's a matter of respect.

*Being too clingy/needy.
I need my time, alone. You do too, whether you know it or not. It's healthy, especially in a relationship. Let's go out and do our own thing, have our own experiences that we can then relate to each other. It's necessary. (Also, being "smothered" is the most direct route out of the relationship.)

*Meanness for the sake of meanness.
If you start off the day with 100 I-love-you points, being mean to someone just because you can will drop you down to 0. And not just being mean or cruel to me, being mean to anyone. I don't see the point in it, aside from willfully wanting to hurt someone else, and I just can't stand that.

Those are the big ones. Other things that you guy's have mentioned that I don't think I need to go into:
Dishonesty
Misogyny
Inability to be immature and silly

Oh, and I love hearing my guy's voice in bed. Talk to me baby, it drives me crazy.

 

[Aoiluna]

There are quite a few, but here are the major ones:

Clingy- I need my alone time and having someone following me around and clinging to me all the time annoys me to no end.

Excessive machoism- just annoying. i hate it when a guy feels the need to prove his masculinity. you have a y chromosome? good for you. so does over 3 billion other people on the planet.

The need for them to protect me from...everything. I had a guy that felt that he needed to protect me from the teasing of my friends. my own friends. He thought that I couldn't take care of myself *rolls eyes*

Excessive PDA/showing off- I hate it when a guy tries to feel me up in public for the purpose of showing off. It isn't romantic at all, and I don't like the attention. Apparently a lot of women like PDA? Cuddling is fine, small acts of affection are fine, and knowing glances are fine. But I dont appreciate grabbing while I'm trying to have an intelligent conversation with someone. Yes, that has happened to me and it thoroughly pissed me off.

Bad hygiene- self explanatory

Bad eating manners- I have a pet peeve about loud eating and open-mouth chewing.

Ignorant arrogance- this often goes along with excessive machoism.

 

[Free2BMe]

Being overtly ogled. Hate it. Makes me feel cheap and uncomfortable. Cute story: My first date with my husband, we went to a hole in the wall and listened to live music. He was sitting a little behind me, with his arm around the back of my chair. He told me later, much later, the entire evening he was not only enjoying the music, but his bird's eye view of my cleavage. I never knew he was looking because he was very attentive and I never "caught" him. Most guys are sooo obvious.

Bad manners, especially table manners.

Burping out loud.

Being loud. I can hear just fine, and when a man has a booming voice, well, I just can't take it.

Stupidity and shallowness.

Being dumb enough to think I can be conquered.

Narrow minded

Clingy and needy

Critical...my ex would say things like, "How can you just lay there and read?", with a nasty sneer.

Playing games. Just be direct and honest, and we are good to go.

 

[gloomy-optimist]

I don’t understand, why would that be a dealbreaker? Is it the promiscuity of it or concern that they might be looking for something like that again in the future?

I could understand why it would be...I personally hate feeling pressured to have sex in any form, and that would just make me feel like I have an expectation to live up to...