What are your preferred types for a partner?
- Thread starter Shaz
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I want an ENTJ for a partner. I have explained this before, but I will try to some it up: I need someone who is outgoing, has direction, isn't over emotional, and has the capabillity to use and understand Ni. This boils down to ENTJ.
Jayce
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I'm attracted to a variety of people and I usually don't know what MBTI type they are. My first girlfriend tested as an ENFP.
I'm attracted to quirky people with a deep, thoughtful side. I think most of my crushes have been on extroverts. Being with them is a different experience from the usual, I suppose. It forces me to be more outgoing, which is a good thing I guess. Can't live as a hermit forever.
I'm attracted to quirky people with a deep, thoughtful side. I think most of my crushes have been on extroverts. Being with them is a different experience from the usual, I suppose. It forces me to be more outgoing, which is a good thing I guess. Can't live as a hermit forever.
Shaz
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Same here. I have been attracted to both introverts and extroverts but really it's better for me to have an extroverted partner. Helps me get out of my shell, and it feels good (most of the time
)
S
Shai Gar
INFJ
INTJ
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elysium
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Hmmm...definitely NOT an INFJ. I did that once...it was a bad idea (although there are healthy INFJs out there who would probably make good partners).
Anyway, the majority of my crushes have been on ENFPs or INTJs. It's weird because they have such different temperaments so it's hard for me to say definitively "this is what I look for in a partner." And not all ENFPs I run across I fall madly in love with and not all INTJs turn me on.
I'm not sure if MBTI simplifies this matter for me or just complicates it more
Anyway, the majority of my crushes have been on ENFPs or INTJs. It's weird because they have such different temperaments so it's hard for me to say definitively "this is what I look for in a partner." And not all ENFPs I run across I fall madly in love with and not all INTJs turn me on.
I'm not sure if MBTI simplifies this matter for me or just complicates it more
Shaz
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It's funny, until a few years ago I used to think that introverts were all shy (I was very shy myself, and so were the other Is I hung around, INFPs mostly).
But obviously it's quite different... My boyfriend is an INTP and he's not shy, just completely antisocial
This said, when I'm with friends I'm not shy, and quite talkative. To me shyness is about not daring to be yourself/being afraid of being judged when you're around people you don't know, but being comfortable with people you know and trust.
acd
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I've been with an INFP, INTJ, and now I suspect an ENFP.
INFP was great in the beginning, an instant deep understanding of one another and for awhile, we were best friends as well as partners. With another INFP, it really felt like it was us two against a world of iniquity and we were going to work for the good of it. We were an excessively idealistic pair. And that was fun. We had a very deep bond. But it was actually a very volatile mix because the similiarities were ultimately smothering. We both needed the same things emotionally and each was expecting the other to provide.
INTJ was a very progressive relationship. It took time to unravel one another and I really appreciated that we operated so differently, we both brought new insight to the relationship, each other, and about the world around us. I learned a lot from him. He challenged me intellectually in ways no one else ever had. He made me think, and I think my interactions with him over a span of 1 and 1/2 years strengthened my reasoning skills. Emotionally, the relationship was very difficult. He could be very cold when I didn't see things his way or agree with him (I'm sure that's not true of all INTJ men, though.) He was also very demanding and dominant. I think he just wanted me to make sense, and he tried very hard to shape me into someone he could understand. Being stubborn and not susceptible to being changed against my will, I dug my heels in the ground. Ultimately, that is what killed the relationship.
Now, I think I'm dating an ENFP. It's going well. We'll see. I've never been with anyone so into going out and doing things. Very social, very adventurous and likes to explore. I can see myself being drawn out of my shell and challenged in another way, to let go my inhibitions. That's a good thing. I really think I enjoy NF relationships best.
INFP was great in the beginning, an instant deep understanding of one another and for awhile, we were best friends as well as partners. With another INFP, it really felt like it was us two against a world of iniquity and we were going to work for the good of it. We were an excessively idealistic pair. And that was fun. We had a very deep bond. But it was actually a very volatile mix because the similiarities were ultimately smothering. We both needed the same things emotionally and each was expecting the other to provide.
INTJ was a very progressive relationship. It took time to unravel one another and I really appreciated that we operated so differently, we both brought new insight to the relationship, each other, and about the world around us. I learned a lot from him. He challenged me intellectually in ways no one else ever had. He made me think, and I think my interactions with him over a span of 1 and 1/2 years strengthened my reasoning skills. Emotionally, the relationship was very difficult. He could be very cold when I didn't see things his way or agree with him (I'm sure that's not true of all INTJ men, though.) He was also very demanding and dominant. I think he just wanted me to make sense, and he tried very hard to shape me into someone he could understand. Being stubborn and not susceptible to being changed against my will, I dug my heels in the ground. Ultimately, that is what killed the relationship.
Now, I think I'm dating an ENFP. It's going well. We'll see. I've never been with anyone so into going out and doing things. Very social, very adventurous and likes to explore. I can see myself being drawn out of my shell and challenged in another way, to let go my inhibitions. That's a good thing. I really think I enjoy NF relationships best.
gloomy-optimist
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An intelligent, deep thinking ENFJ will catch my attention the moment I meet them, even before I know they're an intelligent, deep thinking ENFJ. It's very easy for me to feel comfortable around them, although it's not always ideal, obviously.
I admire ENFPs. They're adventurous, fun, and just generally attractive to me, but there are some people of this type that I don't tend to get along with wonderfully, and there are certain traits they tend to have that can be draining.
ENTPs win for being the most persistent. If I ever found one that could be very patient and cooled off their hot head, I could see something coming from it.
ESFPs...I'd like to get to know this type better. And ISFPs. There are some people of this type that are really interesting and fun people.
I admire ENFPs. They're adventurous, fun, and just generally attractive to me, but there are some people of this type that I don't tend to get along with wonderfully, and there are certain traits they tend to have that can be draining.
ENTPs win for being the most persistent. If I ever found one that could be very patient and cooled off their hot head, I could see something coming from it.
ESFPs...I'd like to get to know this type better. And ISFPs. There are some people of this type that are really interesting and fun people.
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Seriously? I had an INTP friend who drove me fucking mad. Every time we hung out one on one, I asked a ton of questions and he just sat there. Silently. Sometimes answering 'yeah' or 'good'.It's funny, until a few years ago I used to think that introverts were all shy (I was very shy myself, and so were the other Is I hung around, INFPs mostly).
But obviously it's quite different... My boyfriend is an INTP and he's not shy, just completely antisocial
This said, when I'm with friends I'm not shy, and quite talkative. To me shyness is about not daring to be yourself/being afraid of being judged when you're around people you don't know, but being comfortable with people you know and trust.
goldfinch
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I'm married to an ISTJ. It has its goods and not so goods. We're both introverted, so neither one of us is very encouraging of getting the other out of our shell. We kind of do our own thing.
His S-ness annoys my N-ness sometimes. I'm full of ideas and he'll say, "So how are you going to do that?" And I'll say, "Why are you being so negative?" And he'll say, "I'm not being negative, I'm just trying to work out the logistics." And I'll say, "I have a great idea, why are you hung up on logistics?"
His T-ness doesn't bother me. One feeler in a relationship is enough I think.
And we're both J, so we are both into organizing and making decisions, scheduling, being responsible, etc.
It mostly works, we just had our 21st anniversary.
His S-ness annoys my N-ness sometimes. I'm full of ideas and he'll say, "So how are you going to do that?" And I'll say, "Why are you being so negative?" And he'll say, "I'm not being negative, I'm just trying to work out the logistics." And I'll say, "I have a great idea, why are you hung up on logistics?"
His T-ness doesn't bother me. One feeler in a relationship is enough I think.
And we're both J, so we are both into organizing and making decisions, scheduling, being responsible, etc.
It mostly works, we just had our 21st anniversary.
Appoggiatura
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in a partner, I prefer:
E over I [i'd like someone to help bring me out of my shell, and it's slightly aggravating for me to have good conversations with people as introverted as i am]
N over S [i feel that intuitives would understand me better]
could go either way for F and T [as long as he's not a complete robot]
could go either way for J and P [i seem to be inclined more towards J's, though]
i'm currently with an ENTJ, so that worked out nicely ^^
E over I [i'd like someone to help bring me out of my shell, and it's slightly aggravating for me to have good conversations with people as introverted as i am]
N over S [i feel that intuitives would understand me better]
could go either way for F and T [as long as he's not a complete robot]
could go either way for J and P [i seem to be inclined more towards J's, though]
i'm currently with an ENTJ, so that worked out nicely ^^
S
Shai Gar
I'm very patient and I don't have a hot head. I've got passion.
Shaz
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hahahaha
I can see my INTP being like that. If he is interested in a particular topic/in the general discussion, he will talk a fair bit, but if he's not particularly into or feels he doesn't have much input to add to the conversation, he will keep his mouth shut. He is just INCAPABLE of doing small talk. He cannot do it to save his life. He will talk only if he thinks he has something worth saying.
When he gets talking with another INTP about string theory or whatever they just can't stop though.
He also talks to me constantly, but that's because I'm his main social activity
. Also, we are both very insightful/understanding of areas the other is pretty clueless about but interested in, so we teach each other a lot.