Were you like your parents? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Were you like your parents?

^^ I find it's much easier to truly appreciate ENTJs in moderate dosages.
 
My parents don't even feel like parents. My mother (ENFP) feels more like a best friend, and my father (ISTP) is just some guy that pays the bills. Unsurprisingly I share more motivations with my mother than my father. My father is very career minded and my mother is family minded; that apparently being the reason they spilt. I don't get along with my father very much. We might behave similarly but it is for completely different reasons. Also he attributes all of our differences to my mother being a "bad influence" on me. :tsk:
 
gloomy-optimist said:
My twin sister is ENTJ.

Weird.

Although I don't think you can "change" your type. I've always been a little suspicious that mom was an ENFJ that was more introverted, rather than an INFJ that was more extroverted. She's very middled, though, so it's hard to tell.
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From what I've read and seen, it is common for NFs to be 'middled' as you put it. Extroverted NFs seem to require more introverted time than the other types, most likely due to the fact that reconciling changes to the F functions is more difficult than reconciling changes to the T functions. Combine this with the larger amount of input from the N functions than from the emperical S functions, and the individual needs to spend more down time processing than all the other E types, making them seem more like I types than not.

In your mom's case, if she starts with her intuition and pattern recognition then moves to her feeling and idealism function, then she's an INFJ. For example, hunches and gut feelings are given precedence over social roles and expectations. If she was driving to a social function she was expected to be at, but suddenly got a hunch that she shouldn't go, she would turn around because it felt like a bad idea. If she starts with her feeling and idealism function then moves to her intuition and pattern recognition, she's an ENFJ. For example, social roles and expectations are given precedence over hunches and gut feelings. If she was driving to a social function she was expected to be at, but suddenly got a hunch that she shouldn't go, she would still go because it was the right thing to do.

Because the MBTI is just an indicator of cognitive function dominance, it is very possible for people to change types. However, they're not changing types so much as they are changing their cognitive approaches to the world, and therefore the type that best describes this changes. Types describe people, not define them. When people change, their description changes. Developing our cognitive processes as we grow is inevitable. Sometimes the proportion changes, which is the reason for the stress theory.
 
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Ooh!!! I also have a twin sister who is borderline---she's between INTJ and INFJ. I myself though, am a balanced INFJ. So we get along real well. But I don't quite feel comfortable talking about really abstract "deep" things with her (although she understands them I think) because i've never really done that. We really "get" each other though.

I think we are middled between my mom and dad. My mom's an INFP and my dad is a INXJ. My mom is really creative, aloof, "out there" and more extroverted while my dad is really quite, wise, orderly, and introverted. I feel like I do take after several traits of them both, but the combination of those traits have resulted in a bit of a different person. I feel like i've probably "grown up" faster than my mom and dad and am a bit more of a thinker.

My mom and I do have some striking similarities though like the love of the color orange and red!!! :) We also have similar tastes and somewhat similar philosophies. Both my parents are really open minded so we (my twin and I) have been brought up that way too...

To think of it if my mom married an Extrovert, one of us would most likely be an E!!!!
 
My parents are SJs. My mother is an ESTJ I got my ruthlessness from her, my father is an ISFJ, I got my love of solitude and refined tastes from him.

That's about the only manner in which we're similar.
 
yepunsarang said:
Ooh!!! I also have a twin sister who is borderline---she's between INTJ and INFJ. I myself though, am a balanced INFJ. So we get along real well. But I don't quite feel comfortable talking about really abstract "deep" things with her (although she understands them I think) because i've never really done that. We really "get" each other though.

I think we are middled between my mom and dad. My mom's an INFP and my dad is a INXJ. My mom is really creative, aloof, "out there" and more extroverted while my dad is really quite, wise, orderly, and introverted. I feel like I do take after several traits of them both, but the combination of those traits have resulted in a bit of a different person. I feel like i've probably "grown up" faster than my mom and dad and am a bit more of a thinker.

My mom and I do have some striking similarities though like the love of the color orange and red!!! :) We also have similar tastes and somewhat similar philosophies. Both my parents are really open minded so we (my twin and I) have been brought up that way too...

To think of it if my mom married an Extrovert, one of us would most likely be an E!!!!
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It's really interesting though; if what Von Hase said is true, then that really worked out pretty cool. We look a lot alike too, but aren't identical, so we kind of got some interesting genes from that pool.

But yeah; we're both fairly balanced, although we do get on each other's nerves sometimes. We helped balance each other out-- she initially tested ENFJ (although I'm positive she's ENTJ, now that I know more about MBTI), and I've tested INTJ on more than one occasion. We're still both obviously ENTJ and INFJ when you meet us, but we've grown enough accustomed to the other's way of approaching things...
 
This is going to sound really bad, but as a child, I had absolutely no guidance from my parents, and I still kind of don't. I grew up in a very abusive household where there were many secrets and revealing those secrets to an outsider would result in dire consequences. So, I learned to cope alone while living in fear, which is probably why I have such a hard time making myself vulnerable to other people now.

I'm already not like my parents when it comes to raising my daughter. They were physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive. None of which I am. I'm not sure what types my parents are, but our personalities clash quite a bit, we avoid a lot of topics.

I love my parents, and things are better now, but it took standing up to both of them and telling them that they did wrong. They've acknowledged and apologized, so we've moved on. And everyday, I'm able to break the abusive cycles. I'm one of the lucky ones, statistically, I should probably be dead in a ditch somewhere.
 
My mom is an INFJ, but she's more extroverted than me. She says she used to be "uncomfortable" the way I am in big social situations but can handle it with ease now. I hope I can mature like her. We think in the same way about most things.. of course I've developed different opinions than her in some areas, though. I think she's closer to INFP, but I dunno. She's my best friend, it's cool having someone who's more like a sister but mature. :D

I'm a bit like my dad too, but I don't know his type and can't really describe him. He's definitely not talkative but when he is it's hilarious. :p He's definitely more technical and quite orderly in every aspect and I don't really identify with that. He doesn't seem to see that other people's beliefs might have validity too and such. I don't like to argue with him about it, so it's just a difference we will have.
 
jade said:
My mom is an INFJ, but she's more extroverted than me. She says she used to be "uncomfortable" the way I am in big social situations but can handle it with ease now. I hope I can mature like her. We think in the same way about most things.. of course I've developed different opinions than her in some areas, though. I think she's closer to INFP, but I dunno. She's my best friend, it's cool having someone who's more like a sister but mature. :D

I'm a bit like my dad too, but I don't know his type and can't really describe him. He's definitely not talkative but when he is it's hilarious. :p He's definitely more technical and quite orderly in every aspect and I don't really identify with that. He doesn't seem to see that other people's beliefs might have validity too and such. I don't like to argue with him about it, so it's just a difference we will have.
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Your dad is seems like an ITJ of sorts, probably an ISTJ. ISTJ's can be quite hilarious when they do the occassional cracking off of the wit.
 
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