Waiting to have sex

[Ren]

Hmm you guys open up my mind. I think I am reconsidering my naiveness. No sex : friend. Interesting.

Not exactly (you can kiss and be intimate in a lot of ways) but a kind of halfway point between friendship and relationship.

 

[LoneWolfie]

Hmm you guys open up my mind. I think I am reconsidering my naiveness. No sex : friend. Interesting.

No sex equals to friend. Intimacy means a relationship is something. You guys miss love. Is it even there? Or just squeezed between the need of intimacy and a differentiator to friends?

 

[Ren]

No sex equals to friend. Intimacy means a relationship is something. You guys miss love. Is it even there? Or just squeezed between the need of intimacy and a differentiator to friends?

Hmmm, well sex is called making love for a reason.

It's a part of love.

 

[LoneWolfie]

Hmmm, well sex is called making love for a reason.

It's a part of love.

That s true. Making love. What about a one night stand? Does it mean making a short love?
Isnt it love something unconditional and should stay in a very long time?

Intimacy is the word that tickles me the most.

I dont mean to be naive and not even disclose whether I dont do sex before married. It is just the thought of worries that women may become weaker against men when they have intercourse without before getting married?

May be I am too feminist? No sarcasm intended.

Just want to stand by our side.
Or ...
I live in the wrong part of the world or I correlates with too many fictional characters where men abuses women.

 

[LoneWolfie]

That s true. Making love. What about a one night stand? Does it mean making a short love?
Isnt it love something unconditional and should stay in a very long time?

Intimacy is the word that tickles me the most.

I dont mean to be naive and not even disclose whether I dont do sex before married. It is just the thought of worries that women may become weaker against men when they have intercourse without before getting married?

May be I am too feminist? No sarcasm intended.

Just want to stand by our side.
Or ...
I live in the wrong part of the world or I correlates with too many fictional characters where men abuses women.

May be I am just worried I may get hurt bad if something goes wrong with the relationships. The thought is a self defense mechanism?

 

[slant]

May be I am just worried I may get hurt bad if something goes wrong with the relationships. The thought is a self defense mechanism?

All I will say is you should trust yourself and what you feel you should do. Not anyone else.

The way I view love is that nothing is ever definite, even if you want it to be. So when we love we take a risk. The question is: is the risk worth it? If this doesn't work out will I still have gained something from it? Can I appreciate the experience rather than the expectation of forever?

 

[LoneWolfie]

All I will say is you should trust yourself and what you feel you should do. Not anyone else.

The way I view love is that nothing is ever definite, even if you want it to be. So when we love we take a risk. The question is: is the risk worth it? If this doesn't work out will I still have gained something from it? Can I appreciate the experience rather than the expectation of forever?

Noted. You got a good view there. I will keep it in my mind.

 

[Undercaffeinated INFJ]

On the other hand if I'm in a relationship and there's not sex for a period of time I'm going to get unhappy in that relationship.

I get what you're saying, sex can't be the basis of it, I agree

But if you're not having sex that's basically the same things I can do with a friend. Intimacy is a huge part of it and for me a requirement

I agree. I believe (unless for religious reasons) if a relationship isn’t intimate enough to the point where sex is also part of the picture then it’s not TRULY a relationship... then it really is just like a friendship.

 

[LoneWolfie]

I'm not encouraging you to change your beliefs! You have the right to them! I imagine it's hard to be religious or conservative during this time since everyone has become more loose and free with things

I guess it is so cliche to say it is about religion or conservative mindset. I should dare to spell out since the beginning that I dont want to get hurt. Love is huge for me. It is when I give my all (not just sex, but also everything) and along with that comes high expectations. May be behind my every words was also a series of bad experiences.
Omg, why I am opening up that much? I am usually keeping everything just for me. I wont even say this thing to my partner.

 

[Wyote]

Intimacy is the word that tickles me the most.

Nobody can tell you what a relationship is or isn't.
We are all at different places with our understanding of things and our lived experiences.
This will shape our perceptions and build our personal understanding of what defines such things.

For mostly everyone it's a mix of many qualities/attributes/skills, with different desired levels of them.
Which is one reason why finding a good match can be so difficult.

An ideal relationship for most people is where generally all/enough of your desires are met somewhat reasonably.
And part of that is being able to meet your partner's desires in the ways they want as well, with reasonable effort.

 

[barbad0s]

You can do a lot of things that are sexual without actually having full on sex, so I don’t think having full on sex is a precursor to having a “real relationship” that’s “more than just friends”.

I’m not sure about asexual or aromantic people (or if I even believe that they can really exist... I think they just have low drives for sex + fringe tastes), but I think that as soon as there’s the suggestion of something romantic, then that becomes a real romantic relationship and not just friendship. But obviously, the vast majority of people expect to have sex or some kind of enhanced exciting body/mind form of intimacy sooner or later in some form or another.

 

[Pin]

I think that sex and sexual urges should serve a practical purpose or utility. Hook-ups don't appeal to me because after the sex is finished nothing really changes in my life.

Spoiler

If I'm going to put time and effort into pumping and thrusting, someone's getting pregnant. And damn it, it's going to be a sacred day when I finally ejaculate inside of my wife.

 

[slant]

I think that sex and sexual urges should serve a practical purpose or utility. Hook-ups don't appeal to me because after the sex is finished nothing really changes in my life.

Spoiler

If I'm going to put time and effort into pumping and thrusting, someone's getting pregnant. And damn it, it's going to be a sacred day when I finally ejaculate inside of my wife.

Gross.

If I ever became pregnant I would definitely kill the fetus as soon as possible though whatever means necessary.

I would even go to these lengths:

 

[Wyote]

I think that sex and sexual urges should serve a practical purpose or utility. Hook-ups don't appeal to me because after the sex is finished nothing really changes in my life.

Spoiler

If I'm going to put time and effort into pumping and thrusting, someone's getting pregnant. And damn it, it's going to be a sacred day when I finally ejaculate inside of my wife.

Gross.

If I ever became pregnant I would definitely kill the fetus as soon as possible though whatever means necessary.

I would even go to these lengths:

That's not how you get pregnant!
That's not how you get an abortion!

Kids these days. Oye.

 

[ReasonEnduring]

That's not how you get pregnant!
That's not how you get an abortion!

Kids these days. Oye.

Gone are the days of traditional family values...

I'm the rebel of my generation by getting married and settling down to have a family.

 

[Wyote]

I'm the rebel of my generation by getting married and settling down to have a family.

 

[Pin]

Gross.

If I ever became pregnant I would definitely kill the fetus as soon as possible though whatever means necessary.

I would even go to these lengths:

Bad Slant!

Pregnancy is great. You're gonna love being a mom. Just give pregnancy a chance.

9 months of bliss! It only gets better from there.

 

[slant]

Damn...why are these guys so hesitant???

If they want to have sex, you made it clear no strings attached ~ you're not secretly wanting to get pregnant, either(one of my worst fears=lying about birth control)...what's wrong with them?

They are hopeless romantics and don't want to fall in love and then get heartbroken.

I mean I don't know what you mean by "no strings attached", I definitely am looking for a relationship not a friend with benefits or hookup

 

[Pin]

You're not secretly wanting to get pregnant

I don't get it either man. Women love sperm!

 

[Pin]

Ah...I meant something like shady, like secretly wanting to blackmail them or something

Man...

Stop being paranoid and bust in there. Women are sexy for a reason bro. Condoms and birth control are the devil.