justeccentricnotinsane
Community Member
- MBTI
- INFJ
Hello. I'm from the UK and I don't really know much about the US apart from stereotypes.
So I'd kind of like to learn a bit more, though I think there's definitely going to be cultural differences.
One thing I was thinking about was the maxim of modesty. Although this is sort of changing (and a lot of people over here bemoan Americanisation), modesty is generally a big value in the UK. Arrogance is seen as abrasive. And by arrogance, I mean saying you're good at something. I have a German friend who at a party of mine admitted that she was good at something (I forget what now) and I had a lot of people saying to me "that friend of yours, she certainly knows how to blow her own trumpet doesn't she?" Whereas I actually know her and I know that she is pretty modest in that she sees herself as a pretty balanced sometimes good, something not individual not "great".
Because of that maxim of modesty, you get stereotypes like British self-deprecative (and dry) humour, which is sort of true.
I was sort of thinking about this because I'm quite intelligent and I get very embarrassed about it, choosing to either hide it, make deliberate mistakes, add qualifiers to my statements ("I think", "I don't really know, though", "I'm not very good at this", "I don't understand it properly) or just play it down and self-depracate - sometimes too much. This is partly, however, because I don't like being separated from the pack.
When I had a look at CBT, I looked at a British version, which talked about how difficult it is to say good things about yourself (to yourself) to improve your self esteem because we are taught to be modest from a young age.
And then I wondered if it was the same in the US.
I'm not saying people in the US are arrogant, by the way. NOT AT ALL! It's more that when I watch US programmes, saying good things about yourself seems to be praised a little more. It seems to be more acceptable. It also seems that it is not embarrassing in the US to be highly achieving and talk about it but actually admirable. Of course, I'm not talking about boasting.
The unfair stereotype in the UK might be that US people seem brash, although I haven't seen much evidence for this outside of Ricky Lake and Fox News. I don't know if it's easy to recognise the differences in culture if you're already living in it, but does anyone have comments? How is modesty/arrogance/self praise seen in the US? What would you say is acceptable and what is not? Is there still a great pressure to ensure you self deprecate while talking about your achievements? Is it embarrassing if you accidentally talk about your achievements without self deprecating or playing it down?
So I'd kind of like to learn a bit more, though I think there's definitely going to be cultural differences.
One thing I was thinking about was the maxim of modesty. Although this is sort of changing (and a lot of people over here bemoan Americanisation), modesty is generally a big value in the UK. Arrogance is seen as abrasive. And by arrogance, I mean saying you're good at something. I have a German friend who at a party of mine admitted that she was good at something (I forget what now) and I had a lot of people saying to me "that friend of yours, she certainly knows how to blow her own trumpet doesn't she?" Whereas I actually know her and I know that she is pretty modest in that she sees herself as a pretty balanced sometimes good, something not individual not "great".
Because of that maxim of modesty, you get stereotypes like British self-deprecative (and dry) humour, which is sort of true.
I was sort of thinking about this because I'm quite intelligent and I get very embarrassed about it, choosing to either hide it, make deliberate mistakes, add qualifiers to my statements ("I think", "I don't really know, though", "I'm not very good at this", "I don't understand it properly) or just play it down and self-depracate - sometimes too much. This is partly, however, because I don't like being separated from the pack.
When I had a look at CBT, I looked at a British version, which talked about how difficult it is to say good things about yourself (to yourself) to improve your self esteem because we are taught to be modest from a young age.
And then I wondered if it was the same in the US.
I'm not saying people in the US are arrogant, by the way. NOT AT ALL! It's more that when I watch US programmes, saying good things about yourself seems to be praised a little more. It seems to be more acceptable. It also seems that it is not embarrassing in the US to be highly achieving and talk about it but actually admirable. Of course, I'm not talking about boasting.
The unfair stereotype in the UK might be that US people seem brash, although I haven't seen much evidence for this outside of Ricky Lake and Fox News. I don't know if it's easy to recognise the differences in culture if you're already living in it, but does anyone have comments? How is modesty/arrogance/self praise seen in the US? What would you say is acceptable and what is not? Is there still a great pressure to ensure you self deprecate while talking about your achievements? Is it embarrassing if you accidentally talk about your achievements without self deprecating or playing it down?
