Understanding INFJ/INTP interactions | INFJ Forum

Understanding INFJ/INTP interactions

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by slant, Apr 13, 2009.

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  1. slant

    slant Ruboobie

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    I have had surprisingly little interaction with T types, particularly INTP. When I have finally found someone who I have accurately typed as INTP [ as backed up by a test that was taken by the assumed INTP] I discovered that I was very confused over our interactions and the entire INTP attitude. Furthermore, I would think that INTP would have somewhat of a similar problem with INFJ, as all types may have barriers between communication, and I figured this would be the best way for me to develop a more accurate understanding of the INTP.

    Here are some questions to fuel the discussion. Most of them are interchangeable, making it possible for an INTP geared question to be changed to an INFJ geared question. I have asked questions mostly aimed for the INTP because it is the half of the equation I do not understand. INTP's, feel free to offer question upon the INFJ half.

    What have been your experiences with the INFJ/INTP relationship?

    Describe how an INFJ and INTP interaction affects each member. What are the frustrations that each party may experience, why are they frustrating and what solutions have you found to these?

    Are INTPs naturally distant in communication?

    Do INTPs have a rather strong preference for independence and freedom? If so, why?

    I have noticed that INTPs I have dealt with have the tendency to be very vague and often lack specific details in their explanation of things. What is a way to get an INTP talking in greater detail?

    What are some actions that an INFJ may do that makes it harder for an INTP to relate to them? How can these be avoided?

    I may think of more. Hopefully you get the gist of it.
     
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  2. Duty

    Duty Permanent Fixture

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    I dated an INFJ, fell in love with her, for about 3.5 years. Being young at the time, I didn't understand her, and she didn't understand me, but we felt a strong attraction to each other. I was drawn to her compassion/willingness to try and understand me when no one else cared to, and I was drawn to the mystery of her. She was drawn to my (often overt) honesty and my individuality...I've always been my authentic self.


    Basically, an INTP just has to understand that an INFJ needs reinforcement of the INFJ's "validity." INFJs need attention and to feel that they are respectable, valid, and the like.

    INFJs need to understand that INTPs need space and we are honest to the point that, even though INFJs tend to love us for honesty, it may be annoying or not what you wanted to hear.



    When you first meet them, yes. After you gain their trust, they'll often open up their rich world of theories and ideas to you. If you REALLY gain their trust, they may even open up their feelings to you. Don't expect an INTP to ever be overtly sentimental though. That just isn't how they are, and it's not a sign of "hiding something" (as many INFJs have accused me of), it's just that the INTP is not a sentimental or very emotional creature.



    Yes, we most certainly do. I can't be told to do something...putting me on the spot and demanding something out of me won't work. I have to have time to examine it, to pick it apart, and then agree or disagree that it is the proper course of action. I need time to withdraw and make it my decision...the decision that seems best to me.

    If I do withdraw and find it isn't the best decision, then I typically will not go through with it. I'll tell the demander "I'm going to do it the better way," or I'll just sometimes flat out rebel against it if the objective is disagreeable to me. For this reason, I very much don't get along with SJ types, especially extroverted ones, who tend to be pushy and demanding about the exact precedure they want things done, instead of doing things the "best" way.



    Then you may have been around more immature INTPs, or ones that were trying to put things in a way others can understand. INTPs are THE most precise and exact in speech and in life in general. It sort of defines our personality.

    To get an INTP to talk in greater detail, express interest/expertise in the subject at hand. Ask questions that highlight problems with what the INTP is saying, ask for clarification and precision.



    INFJs tend to be very esoteric or try to explain the world through concepts that are outside those of empirical knowledge, reason, or the like. Although these subjects can be very intriguing to an INTP, demanding that they "accept this part of you" is not a good way to go about it. Show the INTP the way to connect to this "psychic energy" or whatever you want to call it. If there is no way to show the INTP this, then I'd suggest you take a look at yourself...as an INTP's first question is "Is this true?" and if you can't properly answer that, it can be a good reflection of the strength of your beliefs.
     
    #2 Duty, Apr 13, 2009
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2009
  3. Duty

    Duty Permanent Fixture

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    I wrote this in another thread too, it's about INFJ/INTP romantic pairings:


     
  4. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    1. The INTP I've had the most experience with was rather unbalanced at the time. We weren't in a relationship, but he did trust me more than he did most people and confided in me quite a bit. I do think he liked me in a somewhat romantic way, but I didn't see the relationship working, so I kept enough distance to avoid any problematic situations with that...

    2. Well...I think we had something close to a teacher/student thing going on. He confided in me the things he wasn't comfortable with, such as asking about relationships and whatnot. He basically talked to me about what he doesn't understand in himself and people -- he wasn't very socially strong, and I think all that frustrated him. What frustrated him about me, I think, was that I didn't really get that emotionally involved, but then I also think that that's why he felt comfortable talking about it at the same time...But I wasn't interested in a romantic relationship, and I think that hurt him at times. My side was a lot of listening and advising, but then I also asked him things as well -- we taught each other, although my side was a little more inquisitive and less heavy than his. My frustration came from his lack of understanding of things that weren't logical -- people, religion, spirituality, society, etc. It's hard to explain those things, especially to an INTP.

    3. Yes. They have to trust you before they really open up to you. Otherwise, they don't really care to go out of their way for social interaction.

    4. Yes, to a degree. They need to be free to explore and question, but I don't think they mind commitment as long as it's not clingy or involves uncontrolled emotions. If both parties have self-control, then that's good.

    5. Get them to trust you, show interest, and be an active listener. They have a lot of theories, they have a lot of questions, and if you fuel that, you'll get them to talk for hours and over every detail and obstacle they've thought of.

    6. The spiritual part of the INFJ is difficult for an INTP to relate to, and they sometimes dislike the structure an INFJ has (not because of the structure part of it, but because we tend to structure things in our heads without any sort of explanation of how that structure works). I would say the best thing to do is explain yourself logically and physically, give reasons to what you do, and hold your ground. Don't be a push-over -- if you've got a standpoint on something, stick with it, but understand when something is not worth it and let it go if need be. Don't be too stubborn, or you'll have two stubborn people butting heads and neither will stand down. Don't get to that point.
    Also, don't be clingy. They don't like that. Independence and strength of will are good.


    Duty has a lot of good points.
     
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  5. poetrygirl

    poetrygirl Community Member

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    I met an infp and honestly he was incredibly unstable and had no idea how others saw him. He used to try so hard to fit in and I felt really sorry for him particularly because I could see a reflection of myself in him in a strange way that I knew why he did the things he did and why he thought the things he thought but I knew he had yet to realized the fallacy in them and how it reflected on others. He was a little too "stuck in his own world" even for my standards. But then again he also had aspergers syndrom along with that so I think he was only 30% really with us where as a normal infp checks in every once and a while. He's smart and very detail oriented I imagine he has a rich fantasy life ;if he learned to be patient enough to write it down I'm sure it would be very intriguing.

    Edit:eek:pps I could have sworn I read INFP!!!
    The irony. Note to self: don't post at 12:21 am because you can't sleep and feel the need to express your opinions at odd times.
     
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    #5 poetrygirl, Apr 14, 2009
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  6. Zero Angel

    Zero Angel Permanent Fixture

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    First of all, don't assume that you KNOW what an INTPs feelings or intentions or motivations are. INTP types are quite difficult to read for the INFJ, and likewise an INTP will have difficulty reading you on a deeper level than body language and facial expressions. It's easy for both parties to assume things but this is generally a big mistake since despite the sharing of the judgement function, percieving is an entirely different matter altogether.

    INTPs tend to be vague in some of their descriptions. Such is the nature of Ti which continually grinds on the data and outputs the conclusion (Ti is not naturally good at traversing the logic tree backwards) and Ne which grabs things by gestalt.

    Therefore an INTP, much like an INFJ will have trouble explaining their logic. An INFJ can keep the logical reasoning in their head sometimes when explaining things but this doesnt always happen when trying to explain something highly nuanced or complex.

    INTPs tend to be gentler and are naturally averse to initiating conflict (not as much as many IF types), but they can handle criticism and opposition fairly well when its brought their way and are far less likely to take it as personally as the INFJ might.
     
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  7. Duty

    Duty Permanent Fixture

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    This is untrue. Most INTPs with know-how are some of the best at explaining, step by step, how they got where they got to. The only problem arises when other people don't understand the subject matter as much (and then get confused over the terms or whatever). INTPs really tend to know their shit when it is a subject they feel competent in, and if the second party can't follow, it's generally because they don't know the subject as deeply.

    The only solution is for the INTP to teach. For myself I am enthusiastic to teach my favorite subjects, as long as the second party has the motivation to learn.
     
  8. Zero Angel

    Zero Angel Permanent Fixture

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    Interesting. I said that because I did meet an INTP who stated that she had difficulty explaining her logic to people, she simply 'knew' things and hated when people asked her for reasoning since by her logic coming up with the solution was something that was 'settled and over with' and revisiting the solution would be boring for her.

    It was the same thing when she tried to read Jung -- she had claimed to have rederived the formulae of the MBTI prior to actually reading any Jung, so reading Jung was boring because it was already about things she knew.

    I found this interesting, and told her that I thought that she might be an ENTP instead, she denied this passionately (as if I'd struck a nerve).
     
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    #8 Zero Angel, Apr 14, 2009
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  9. Duty

    Duty Permanent Fixture

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    That sounds MUCH more like an INTJ. INTJs have a lot of the issues with appearing "emotionless" and so the types can get confused, but INTJs differ from INTPs much like you describe.

    INTPs tend to be more jovial and laid back, making connections of one concept to another, which gives them the occasional insight of wit, and makes them form new theories for things quickly, often making surprising leaps between ideas which can be explained quite easily, and judged quickly to be worthy of more investigation or if there is a problem. INTPs can be pedantic about what IS, and logical/gramatical precision. Because of this, INTPs have the best ability to spot inconsistency in their field of choice. For me this is logic/philosophy (and is quickly turning to mathematics), and I can spot logical fallacies in a philosophical discussion immediately and with extreme precision. Further, being able to form new theories quickly, as explained above, I can offer an inconsistency free argument in return. This makes me a devastating debater...more then a match even for the "lawyer" type- ENTPs.

    INTJs tend to be much more uptight, sometimes like they're constantly annoyed. INTJs tend to see patterns quickly, and pick up the idea behind a subject perhaps faster then any other type. Unlike an INTP, who takes an idea as far as it will go and then judges it against the Ti logic structure, an INTJ takes the idea to its useful conclusion, and then applies it. INTJs are above all strategists, and can develop a pattern, with all the theories and ideas that they know, to succeed at a given goal. For an INTJ, it's all about applying the knowledge to the goal, while for the INTP it is about if the knowledge is true or not in the first place. Additionally, INTJs can often be genuinely conceited, where as an INTP may APPEAR conceited, but is often just trying to express a truth about himself, as they will acknowledge their weaknesses just as quickly as their strengths.


    Perhaps the easiest way to tell the difference in the types is that INTJs are confident in their knowledge/judgment of something and feel no need to carry it further or reinvestigate it. INTPs very rarely express an idea to be absolutely certain, and only hold a few core beliefs that are (hopefully!) unassailable. Descarte's attempt to find an indisputable piece of knowledge is a good example of an INTP trying to establish a core belief structure. Instead, INTPs will often just suspend judgment until more certain knowledge is acquired...INTJs will often just call it good when the idea "works."

    The question each type asks is very good for identifying them too. INTPs seem to ask (not literally, but in their mind), "Is this true? Is it consistent?" INTJs seem to ask, "Does this work?"
     
    #9 Duty, Apr 14, 2009
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  10. Zero Angel

    Zero Angel Permanent Fixture

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    I'm absolutely certain she is an NTP type. I have a sister who is an ENFP -- and this NTP that I know could easily appear extroverted in an Ne type fashion with constant free associating and playing on words, almost to the point of appearing air headed. In fact her intuition was more 'wide' (easily picking out cues such as body language), compared to the 'deep' Ni type intuition which isolates patterns and does long range predictions on them. This is in contrast to her INTJ friend who was a little more robotic in her logic, the NTP didnt seem like one at all (as explained in their profiles, since when the profile says 'analytical' it makes you think of an INTJ)


    Yes, INTJs are more likely to stick to their guns when their points come under attack and use every logical means possible to defend their perspective and attack the other persons perspective (this might be an egotistical behavior present in some INTJs yet absent in others, but its a tendency which concentrates itself more around the INTJ personality), it is only in solitude that the INTJ can execute their intutition and refine their world view to accomodate the conflicting information.

    I dont think INTJs are much more genuinely conceited than INTPs are. I've spoken with INTJs and although they can be conceited about certain things they can actually be quite honest and forthcoming (and possibly even 'vulnerable') once you really get them to trust you.

    The INTP I have previously spoken about seemed to want to meet someone of superior intellect who was able to humiliate her and make her feel small by virtue of superior intelligence alone. Of course i'm not that type of person who enjoys doing that sort of thing except as an ego defense but I just thought it was interesting -- because if you read between the lines she was stating that she was smarter than everyone else, and her actions, taken as a whole tended to reassert that belief. I simply felt her to be arrogant in an underhanded manipulative way.
     
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    #10 Zero Angel, Apr 14, 2009
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  11. Altruistic Muse

    Altruistic Muse Community Member

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    I am involved with an INTP at the moment, and there are some frustrations but some ways that we work well together.

    What have been your experiences with the INFJ/INTP relationship?
    I would suggest this is a good match for both parties. Personally, as a result of over emotionalising every aspect of my life I like to have someone who can help me rationalise decisions. My INTP is incredibly trustworthy and always tells the truth. (Even though he has a bit of a reputation for being a ladies man, he will talk openly about it, I know pretty much everything about him because he never witholds information if you ask him a question.) This is a very worthwhile quality as there is no worry about secrecy or where he will be next, because if it is important or you ask he will always tell you. Honesty is a massive thing for me.

    Describe how an INFJ and INTP interaction affects each member. What are the frustrations that each party may experience, why are they frustrating and what solutions have you found to these?

    I would say that for the INFJ (ie me) the major frustration is trying to be understood. He is intrigued by the way I see things and recognises that as different to him. However he thinks I overcomplicate things, he cannot see why I get emotionally involved with every situation and I sometimes feel a bit alone and detached without this understanding. However, it is early days yet and what I have noticed is that once he realises he doesnt understand something he generally tries to work that out, in an objective way, and this counts for me as well. I feel like he is slowly working me out bit by bit and trying to relate for me, and it is working (but slowly).

    For the INTP the INFJ's overanalysis of everything is a big irritation. I create worries and problems where they don't exist, I think incredibly long term and anticipate where these problems might arise while he thinks in the here and now and ambles along contentedly. There is a bit of a clash here, he is really trying to get me to chill out a bit and just enjoy the moment. He is actually surprisingly good at teaching this.

    Are INTPs naturally distant in communication?
    I find that if you do not ask the INTP a direct question they will not give you an answer, but if you do they will and it will be straight and their full opinion. Sometimes this will be offensive or not what you want to hear but I personally value this more than someone sitting on the fence. Also, I think INTPs (well my one anyway) naturally have an informative communication style, which means that, again, unless asked directly, (or even if they are asked directly sometimes) they will reply with a kind of wishy washy statement that makes you think about the answer and draw conclusions yourself so that they are not patronising you or giving you the answer (they do not like people to give them answers or help them so they assume everyone is the same-this is quite a big thing with INTPs, they do lack empathy quite often, and assume that everyone experiences the same annoyances as them- this makes them thoughtless sometimes but at the same time you realise that their actions are always with good intent).

    Do INTPs have a rather strong preference for independence and freedom? If so, why?

    They have a very strong preference for independence, I'm not sure why, but my one cannot stand clingy girls. Which is fine for me, because I was clingy in my last relationship and hated being like that, and as I mature I desire more independence myself. My INTP will not be pinned in a corner and does have his own plans which he will let you know subtly (in the informative manner) if I try to order him to go somewhere with him when he is already booked up. However, if I allow him to do his own thing, actually he is quite forthcoming in setting aside time for me, and contacting me to organise this. It is nice to receive a text from someone knowing that they would only have texted you because they wanted to.
     
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  12. Bored Now

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    Gotta love those INTP men. ::girlysigh:: That unblinking honesty thing knocks me out every time. It's so funny Duty.. you answered those questions EXACTLY as my INTP partner in crime would have.

    It's a very winning combo (INTP/INFJ) although I had to learn NOT to ask questions I possibly wouldn't like the answers to because of that whole honesty thing. And we connect spiritually, possibly because I approach my spirituality in a logical sort of way and put emphasis on Knowledge over blind faith.

    I'm also pretty ...detached for an INFJ. I test enneagram Five all the time,, so maybe there's a little "intp" lurking around somehwere in the recesses of my soul. OR something.
     
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  13. poetrygirl

    poetrygirl Community Member

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  14. IntuitiveIndividual

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    It's interesting -- I have an INTJ friend and we both have the same issue: not being able to explain our logic, but simply understanding immediately, whereas INTPs can generally explain what's going through their minds. He's also infuriating because he tends to think he's right and the "stick to the guns" aspect of his personality is a classic INTJ characteristic.

    I find what has been said here to be fascinating because many of the problems I've encountered with INTP/INFJ interactions are outlined here (as are the benefits). I know two INTPs, female and male.

    The female INTP and I are VERY close. It's true, when you gain their trust they really do open up emotionally (and if you're really close they actively try to involve you in their personal lives). We balance eachother very well.

    The male INTP, on the other hand, I've had a difficult time with. He is very helpful (the "improving" aspect of the INTP is glorious, if you don't take offense and listen to what they're saying they really do try to help and often are very insightful!). He's always interested in my latest projects, but I'm finding it difficult to connect (which, I realize of course is always going to be a bit of an issue due to the INT personality aspect). He sends very friendly messages and has opened up to me about certain fond memories, books, etc. which I thought (yes, I realize I'm being quite presumptuous which one should never be, particularly with INTPs) was a good sign because it usually signifies a certain level of closeness. However, we haven't become much closer than that which leads me to ask: how does one further the connection with an INTP? Or does the INTP have to be the one to initiate the growth in the friendship?

    Also, given that INTPs aren't the most openly emotional type (obviously), is it wise to open up emotionally to strengthen the relationship? I'd be willing to open up emotionally, on a certain level, because we're fairly close, if it's not wise to do so I'd like to know.

    We've also had communication issues. He seems to (at times) talk down to me, informing me of things that generally people would know (like the term "The City" refers to New York City and other things). I don't know if this is because he is simply trying to be helpful (which many times is the case and I often don't mind), or if he thinks I'm less intelligent and therefore less worthy of his time.

    One factor to consider is that he's older than I am by about 3 years and he's currently living in a different state. He has, however initiated the majority of our discussions and continued them.

    I don't think we'd pursue a romantic relationship (atleast not now), however becoming closer is something I'd like to experience maybe its just the F in me that needs the emotional connection as well as the intellectual connection to truly become close. Does anyone have any insight?
     
  15. unityemissions

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    This all seems so bizarre. How Duty is describing an INTP seems nothing like me, yet I have always scored as one in the dozen plus times I've taken the test over the last decade! I can rarely explain my logic to other people. They can't see it anyways, so why bother to try? I aced my advanced maths and science classes all throughout schooling, but could never explain how I got the answers to teachers, or write out any work. It was all in my mind, only.

    Am I a closet INTJ or something? Could I be answering somewhat dishonestly and not even realize it? I'm going to look up the INTJ description and see what's going on here. Everything mentioned of an INTP on this thread doesn't fit me, yet the few mentions of INTJ are dead on. Interesting.

    Oh yes, as for the balance thing. This is complicated. I'm pretty sure that I'm naturally (biochemically) very unbalanced, yet because of this I have learned to acquire certain skills of focus that will keep me somewhat balanced. If I let go for a few instances, intuition and creativity spawn, but when I need to focus, cool-headed logic prevails. I can be quite balanced if need be, but naturally am entirely chaotic internally.
     
    #15 unityemissions, May 12, 2010
    Last edited: May 12, 2010
  16. arbygil

    arbygil Passing through

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    Sometimes it depends on the tests as well. Remember, MBTI is based on your own perceptions, and sometimes we don't see ourselves as well as we ought to. OR, maybe you're answering a lot of "YES" questions to tardiness and neatness - these may be indicators of "P"-type folks, but this is not a full indicator.

    Try finding an MBTI test that's balanced (has more than a black and white response/yes or no response). There are a few around, but not many. This one comes to mind: http://kisa.ca/personality and perhaps this one to get an overview of all the MBTI types you favor: http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/mmdi-re/mmdi-re.htm .

    Good luck! Hope it works out for you! You'll find who you are eventually. :D
     
  17. unityemissions

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    Took the first test. Scored strong INTP.

    Ta-dah, your personality type is INTP!
    Introverted (I) 75% Extraverted (E) 25% Intuitive (N) 86% Sensing (S) 14% Thinking (T) 70% Feeling (F) 30% Perceiving (P) 91% Judging (J) 9%

    I simply don't think the way INTP's are described on this thread have any basis in reality. It seems that what is being described is personal, and not interpersonal traits of an INTP.
     
  18. Norton

    Norton XXXX

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    I'm a strong INTP happily married to an INFJ. Don't get too caught up in whether you fit the INTP "stereotype" or not because there is much, much more to a person than four letters. Everyone is unique, obviously, and there is tremendous variation within any specific MBTI type. I know one or two INTP's IRL and they are extremely different from me. There is far too much generalizing about specific types than I can see supported by my personal experience or the "typing" process. People sometimes seem to think there are only 16 different types of people in the world! Isn't it wonderful that is false?
     
  19. middle1

    middle1 Hellur

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    I actually made a coworker take an MBTI test a few months ago as we were under no pressure to work at the time. It turns out she is an INTP. Since I started my current job 5 years ago, she has pretty much become my mentor. If I have any serious legal questions she is the first person I go to.

    What I've noticed about her is she is so precise in giving answers, and gives me a step by step explanation rather than a simple answer that really doesn't clarify anything for me. I'm the type of person that needs and wants to know the whole picture, rather than just gettng a vague explanation, and she has the patience to answer all my questions, usually.

    Communication wise, we don't always get along. Actually, we have both pushed each other's buttons enough and now we know we pretty much know when to back off. I have noticed that she can be pretty presumptious and have a one track mind once she gets going with an idea. This causes alot of frustration for other people trying to work with her as they generally end up having to argue their point across. She has a tendency to assume she's right even when she's dead wrong.

    Our personal values are alot alike. We both hold other people to high standards, and have a clear sense of doing what's right rather than what might benefit ourselves.

    Whether or not these traits have any resemblance with an INTP, I'm not sure, but those are what come to mind when I think of that type.
     
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  20. sulfit

    sulfit Newbie

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    Here is my insight on the INTP-INFJ relations. Note that I have not been in a long-term relationship with any particular INTP. I have known 3 INTPs on friend/acquaintance basis as well as interacted with a few over the internet.

    What draws the INFJs to INTPs (and INFPs coincidentally) is their primary introverted judging function. People with such function as dominant spend a lot of their time making internal judgements about the world. They are likely to be able to express themselves very clearly and precisely in any conversation or debate, and hold strong opinions about various issues. This is something that the INFJ feels that he or she lacks because the INFJ dominant function is a perceiving one that sees multiple possibilities, multiple meanings and interpretations of things. Ni by itself without application of judging functions can be sort of like cognitive fog and yield a "whatever goes" attitude in the INFJ. Meeting somebody with a solidly structured inner world who can clearly express himself or herself and who is also concept/idea-oriented is fascinating to the INFJ. INTPs are especially attractive to INFJs because in early 20s-30s the INFJ is developing the tertiary function, Ti, introverted thinking. This function when developed helps to finally thin down the Ni-fog for the INFJ. There is inherent drive in the INFJ at this stage of his or her life to associate with people who have Ti as dominant or auxiliary function - INTPs, ISTPs, ENTPs, and ENTPs. These types will often let themselves be known by a particular quirky dark-ish type of humor and creative reasoning that only introverted logic can yield (to the contrary expressions of Te are not significant to the point of being boring and predictable to the INFJ, but seem to be a huge turn-on for INFPs and ENFPs). What draws the INTP to the INFJ is the Ne-Ti pull. INTP's Ne becomes interested in INFJ's Ni usually as a consequence by INFJ creatively shifting perspectives in conversation and being imaginative. However INTP's Ti finds itself lacking in being able to make sense of the INFJ. INTP thus may stick around the INFJ, engage in prolonged observation of the INFJ, and even initiate contact (which is very rare for them). Remember that the INTP loses interest in any system that he or she has studied and learned the inner workings of. However the INFJ can puzzle the INTP's mind for a long period of time.

    The pros of INFJ/INTP interaction from INFJ point of view:
    - INTPs in my experience have a natural aversion to lying. When they do lie, it is pretty easy to detect. They start displaying a bit more emotion in these instances and emotion is not their strong point so it comes out all crooked and I can very easily pick it up. But most of the time you can expect the INTP to say what he honestly thinks is the truth. Which means less confusion, less games playing in your INFJ life.
    - As has already been stated INTP can help INFJ develop that tertiary function that will give INFJ more clarity of thought.
    - INTPs are very much unemotional, so no emotional rollercoasters to complicate your life more than your INFJ life probably already is. As their emotional side is underdeveloped, on the extremely rare occasion that they do display emotion these may be very simplistic. This is quite endearing and very easy to interpret.
    - INTPs are low maintenance partners in sense of the physical world. Their sensory function is their tertiary one and it is introverted sensing at that. They do not need to 'act out' in the physical world as Se dominant types do. This acting out can be quite scary for the INFJ's with their inferior Se function. Remember though that as any T-types INTPs do need a fair share of sex as physical expression of love.
    - Both INFJs and INTPs are introverts which means neither is going to host loud parties at home or drag the other partner out to hang out with a big group of loud extraverted sensor friends.
    - Similar sense of humor. Both are intuitive types that respond well to unexpected ending type of humor. INTP humor tends to be colder and may involve living beings getting hurt, which may repulse but also fascinate the INFJ to certain extent. Both usually respond well to ENTP comedians such as Bill Hicks, George Carlin, and Louis CK.
    - Similar decision-making process as both are FeTi types instead of TeFi types. For both logic is internal personal process while morality is an outside value based on group consensus. This will increase number of instances where INTP and INFJ come to an agreement and facilitate understanding between them.

    The cons:
    - Ti imparts self-confidence to the point of arrogance in some INTPs. These kind of 'bad apple' INTPs may take advantage of the INFJ who may lack in self-confidence and clear definition where he or she stands as a person.
    - INTPs and INFJs will soon find out about communication problems. INTP's primary function is a judging one. Whatever model, whatever system an INTP encounters, Ti strives to take it apart into pieces and and make an internal judgement about how those pieces inter-relate. This is a bit intimidating for the INFJ because INFJ lacks in this ability. INFJ's primary function is a perceiving one. It draws connections between things, unifies them into one system, one model. This can be intriguing and puzzling for the INTP, even frustrating (how can the INFJ see that these two things are similar or same when to INTP they clearly aren't?). This difference can introduce barriers in communication. INFJ may not say enough and may not express himself or herself clearly. INTPs often take the words very literally and INFJ's use of symbolism or metaphors can throw them off track. Their weaker ability to see similarities and almost as if refusing to tie things together may be frustrating to the INFJ. However, clear self expression is difficult for INFJ because our dominant function is Ni, an introverted perceiving one, and auxiliary function is Fe, an extraverted judging one. It is only our tertiary function that is introverted judging one that lets us express clearly what we internally think (and it usually does not develop into early 20s-30s).
    - Because INTPs have feeling function as inferior this may lead them to reject feelings or be excessively repulsed by them. As such INTP may rarely say a kind or supportive word or be expressive of their own emotions, but instead be overly critical and brutally honest, which will be offensive to the INFJ's Fe. INTP may refuse to correct himself believing that what he or she states is the truth, and thus may refuse to adopt softer approach in conversation.
    - INTPs sense themselves as distinct individuals from anyone else, and being in 4% of population this may further reinforce their belief in that. INFJ may sense that the relationship is thus one-sided: INFJ may feel more strongly bonded to the INTP than INTP will bond to the INFJ.
    - While INTPs are not physically high maintenance, they are higher maintenance in terms of ideas/concepts than other sensory types. You have to feed your INTP with a bit of weirdness/new topic once in a while. This may be a challenge to INFJs because we study topics in great depth, but may forget about breadth and thus appear to be 'intellectually stagnant' to the INTPs.
     
    #20 sulfit, Sep 5, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2010
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