Ugh, People | Page 6 | INFJ Forum

Ugh, People

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Asa, Jun 12, 2018.

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  1. flower

    flower Wanderer

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    Smokers! It would be really nice to be able to breathe clean air in own home. I don't care if you smoke or not, but please... There are others living in the building too.

    :m185:
     
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  2. Not sure if I've already posted this...clearly I'm still annoyed if I'm posting again!!!

    People who ride their bike while also trying to walk their dog on a lead. Not an issue when the pace works for both cyclist and dog - obviously! It is incredibly hard to watch a cyclist riding hard and pulling/dragging the dog by it's neck! Poor dog! :confounded::weary:
     
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  3. Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    I don't want to interact with anyone I know for the next couple hours or two. This year is awkward.
     
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  4. xiouxioux

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    This is my first post. Apparently I joined in 2009 and I never got around to introducing myself to you lovely people. Hello, my name is xiouxioux. It is nice to meet you.

    Story time. I did a thing that I've never done before. I wrote it all but I decided to erase it (I know, I know, I'm sorry). Long story short, last week, I met someone early in the morning and by evening I was making out with him (kissing mainly, no nudity whatsoever). We texted/called for a couple days, added me on a social media, and then ghosted me. I never knew what that word meant until yesterday. LOL Having come out from an 8 year relationship over a year ago, I don't know all this lingo people use these days. Anywho, I found myself googling my SN and this came up; even linking my other social media accounts.

    Bottom line is I deleted his number so I don't have to contact him (because I texted and called twice and didn't get anything back) and I'm just waiting for him to delete me in that said social media. I had hit rock bottom from the ending of my long term relationship and whatever happened last week, something jumpstarted in me. I'm out of the funk. I'm not bitter about getting ghosted at all. I actually want to thank him for giving me an extra boost of confidence. I definitely needed it. I'm back to where I want to be emotionally. Thanks for reading. x
     
  5. Sloe Djinn

    Sloe Djinn Idiot with Internet Access. Puts Tabasco on Pizza.

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    When stopping somewhere to use a bathroom while out and about, this car was sitting in the middle of the parking lot waiting for a space. I had to squeeze by him and someone got into a car way behind him on my side of the lot. When he saw me waiting and signaling he backed up and put on his signal to go into the same space. I flashed my headlights and put my arms up like wtf, then he flashed his lights and flipped me off. The gods smiled on me and the person pulled out towards me so I got the space, but damn, people be assholes sometimes. How are you going to try to establish some parking lot queue anyway? And it’s not like I snaked a space he was waiting on. He didn’t even take notice until I stopped and put on my signal. Crazy thing is, people get shot and stabbed over this kind of thing these days.
     
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  6. Jonah Caan

    Jonah Caan Community Member

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    So many times I can intuitively see how something (or somebody:wink:) someone I love is doing might cause them harm or pain in the future. So I advise them (I hate giving unsolicited advice but sometime I find I just have to) on how to stay clear of a hurdle that will most definitely come. But they look at me as though I'm a gypsy soothsayer who's about to ask for a shilling.

    A couple of months (or years) down the line... guess what problems they're having?:rage: And I'm both hurt for them as well as frustrated that they didn't listen to me all that time ago. I never tell them "I told you so". Well, almost never:tearsofjoy:
     
    #106 Jonah Caan, Feb 13, 2019
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2019
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  7. OP
    Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

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    UGH!

    My dear ESFP friend always messages me early in the morning and asks if I want to go do something with her 'later in the day'. Of course the answer is yes, but she never tells me the specifics, so I do not know how to dress appropriately, and she also never, ever, ever tells me what time.
    She assumes I can drop everything and be at her house in a moment's notice, wearing the appropriate attire. Once I showed up in the wrong clothes and had to borrow hers.

    At the same time, I am grateful to be included and told her I am happy to help her whenever she needs.

    She is unaware that she should plan a little better, give me a time, and be specific about the activity. It is just her nature to be fluid and avoid concrete plans. Even when we go to dinner at her house she will give me a two-hour window to show up. Um?

    It secretly annoys me. I want to know what time, how to dress, etc, when she invites me.
    I feel like I'm the "ugh" person for wanting this structure, but to all of you who plan the way she does: please take note that it is easy for other people when you make a firm decision and let them know the plan.
     
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  8. Sloe Djinn

    Sloe Djinn Idiot with Internet Access. Puts Tabasco on Pizza.

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    @Asa

    I know that feelz with regard to not knowing what the situation is gonna be. Reminds me of when some of my friends and I were going to take our buddy out for an ultra low-key and not-at-all bachelor-y "bachelor party". Well before we went out to do that, he asked us to come over to some suburban church gathering for a minute before we headed out. Well I was thinking, ok, that's a bit of a weird start, but I guess we can kick it at some church thing for a second before we head out. Well, it turned out to be more of a structured event than we thought. A bunch of college-aged people (some of whom I knew from high school and/or college) were there, but there were also a lot of older folks. It was mainly people from a local Chinese church. Some of the elder ones were making valedictorian type speeches about their future choices and success, etc etc. Anyway, our gawky mixed bunch comes ambling up to the door and open it to be blinded by a bright light. Sooo, it turned out that everyone was sitting around the living room looking at stuff that was being projected onto the front door while listening to one of these older folks. Everyone there was dressed church-style and the four (I think) of us were just in street clothes, totally breaking up the speech as we mega-awkwardly sidled in with a spotlight quite literally on us. We were so painfully out of place there. I was wearing some kind of faux G getup like black beanie, hoodie, and cargo pants cut off at the calf, uncomfortably milling around with young people in belted slacks and polo shirts, as well as stern-faced Chinese elders. To this day I wonder what the hell was going through his head to have wanted us to come to that thing.
     
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  9. OP
    Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

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    @Sloe Djinn - O...M....G!

    That is one of the most cringe worthy stories of being out of place, under dressed, and interrupting. Yikes!
     
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  10. GRiMM

    GRiMM Community Member

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    @Asa I recognize this, I always try to set up a time and place to meet unless I don't care that occasion. In my mind I'm like if people cant respect that maybe they don't respect my time. I'm not just on demand for everyone waiting for them to make up or share their mind. My time is valuable to me, even if I waste it I want it to be by my choice. Also the clothing thing.. Yeah I definitely always want to be prepared for the occasion at hand. Other times I might have put myself in a situation by choice where I have to be more like water and go with the flow to have peace of mind. Just accept and let go.
     
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    #110 GRiMM, Feb 21, 2019
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2019
  11. OP
    Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

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    Absolutely. I can be very, "Whatever you want to do is fine," to try to accommodate others when I honestly don't care where we go, or what we do.

    I want to know if my friend means 9am, or 2 or 3pm. The clothing is more serious here, because depending on what we're doing, I may need a helmet or different kinds of shoes or boots, or different equipment that is necessary for the activity or chore, including safety equipment.
    I've definitely been in situations where I've been embarrassed to be under dressed, but my style is so consistent that I'd only alter it a little bit depending on the event, anyway.
     
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  12. charlatan

    charlatan Community Member

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    @Asa -- is she unable to clarify even if you ask her in the morning what we're going to do?

    My rule of thumb -- I'm extremely stereotypically "P", in that I don't naturally plan much either .... more just say 'Hai, are you free' but on the other hand, my activities are so low key that there's no preparation typically required. I guess if someone is in another time zone, I can go as far as just ensuring we talk by ensuring we chat when reasonable for both

    The reason I'm usually like this though is unless I'm very unstressed (which is rare), I don't want any thought about commitments of schedule.
    It's like all deadlines/etc go out the window when stresed/just can't handle them.

    I love e-mail for this reason lol -- you can stay in touch with people with absolutely no constraint on scheduling ( can respond and interact at will).
     
    #112 charlatan, Feb 21, 2019
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2019
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  13. OP
    Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

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    @charlatan - I always ask her what we are doing and when and she rarely answers my questions, even if she replies. Hahahaha.
    I'm just more "J" about it this week because she's done this to me three times this week. LOL.

    If we're just doing something fun like hiking with dogs I don't care. If I need a helmet or special shoes, or skis, or if my dogs can't come and I need to walk them before we go, I'd like to know. LOL

    I completely understand wanting no constraints on scheduling and interactions. I love email for those reasons, too. I'm sort of the opposite with making plans, though. Even though I really like my friends, I want to know when well in advance so I have time to wrap my head around the event, get used to the idea of socializing, and be prepared. It's kind of funny, because I'm also easy going and I'll go along with spontaneity, and it is fine... but my preference is to know.

    When I know I'm going somewhere "later", but not when, my whole day shifts around that event, waiting, and making sure I'm not in the middle of something that can't be interrupted, etc. My whole day has to revolve around that event and that indecision. So, that freedom from planning actually turns out to be more restricting than making a plan.

    When spring hits this won't be as big a problem because we'll usually go out early and another women we are sometimes with is a super OCD J type and very decisive and particular. Hahahaha. She's like a hard J and I'm a soft J. Pronounced: INFY.
     
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  14. Daustus

    Daustus Community Member

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    I'm a super J. Project manager by trade. I want specifics. I have a good deal of P friends in my social circle that don't plan things out. I roll with it but I'm famous for ducking out early
     
  15. Sloe Djinn

    Sloe Djinn Idiot with Internet Access. Puts Tabasco on Pizza.

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    “You come in one hour, darling. I insist, okay? Okay. Goodbye.”
    “This is a hobo suit, darling. You can’t be seen in this. I won’t allow it!”
     
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  16. Hkr006

    Hkr006 Newbie

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    The most common question an INFJ gets:
    "Why so serious?"
     
  17. charlatan

    charlatan Community Member

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    The interesting thing is I'm not unlike this in a way.....IF there's anything to the event at all, I like to have a ton of control over it. I might hate to lose my focus when I'm in the zone for thinking.

    But that's sort of why I choose things that are super-low-key (after all, I'm not sure when my in-the-zone will happen/not), more along the lines of "want to work in the same coffee shop" so it has 0 effect on my regular schedule. Might converse/blow off steam while working/when stuck on something. Basically there' -- no real line between my work schedule and my friends schedule because a lot of it consists of just long distance communication interspersed through work.

    I actually weirdly enough could imagine being stressed out by the ESFP friend's noncommittal-ness (without loving them less :) I mean they can't necessarily help it) given they probably are going to be more active than I am / their activities actually seem like they might benefit from planning!

    So put it this way, if there is any sense in which it's an event, I'm just like you. I'm perhaps even a worse control freak.

    However, I try to avoid 'events' like the plague, and essentially my interaction with friends is more like always having them around than really 'doing things together.'

    I think if I were to spice my social life up/it weren't so barebones, I'd probably mimic you more!
     
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  18. flower

    flower Wanderer

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    Ugh, ME. Why I keep doing the same stupid crap again and again.
     
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  19. OP
    Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

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    It's part of the charm of being human. :) <3 We all do it.
     
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  20. flower

    flower Wanderer

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    Eheh, true... :grin::sweatsmile: We humans are silly sometimes.
     
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