treating people like people | INFJ Forum

treating people like people

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Barnabas, Feb 24, 2010.

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  1. Barnabas

    Barnabas Time Lord

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    Do any of you guys tend notice when people tend to treat others like crap. I had some roomates last semester who wanted to change the furniture around in are apartment, two of the guys wanted it moved and the third wasn't here to voice his opinion. The other guys had tried to get me agree with them just so that the third roomate's opinion wouldn't matter. I told them I was going to hold off on a decsion till Trent got back. They then got upset with me and started complaing that he was going to disagree with them anyways.

    It was my thught that regardless on what Trent'sdecision was, that it was still worth listening to even if a disagreed with it. The others didn't even care about it, treating Trent like his points don't matter.

    have any of you had simaler situations?
     
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  2. The Jester

    Where people tried to manipulate you into something?
    Yes, and when I picked that up it made me quite cynical and critical towards people.
    (This happened after a few occasions of course.)
     
  3. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    yeah i do, but i think being offended on others' behalf is not always warranted. for one thing, people disagree on what constitutes civil behavior. for another, sometimes taking peoples' feelings into consideration means neglecting more important priorities, like saving time. and i think in some subtle ways it's insulting to be upset because another person is not being treated right; it implies they're not able to correct that injustice themselves, and need (specifically) your assistance.
    sorry, im rambling :|
     
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  4. randomsomeone

    randomsomeone Well-known member

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    In my work I have seen projects delayed and gobs of money wasted simply because people were not consulted as they should have been. Regardless of the outcome, it is generally pretty safe policy to side with inclusion of other's perspectives.
     
  5. IndigoSensor

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    Yup, I have been in situations like that before, and I get damned stubborn if I am.

    If a group of people is going to make a collective decision, that would impact a person who is not their to voice their opinon, it is not a good idea to make that decision. It is just bad pratice. It becomes far worse when people say that that person does not matter. I will get very vocal and tell people off when they enter sitations like this, and I will block people from doing anything, or I will go out of my way to contact that person so they can have a say. It is just not fair.
     
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  6. myself

    myself Permanent Fixture

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    sometimes it is completely appropriate to not care what another person thinks

    not all people/situations are equal

    gotta be a good judge to know the difference
     
  7. Sithious

    Sithious Well-known member

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    Just furniture?

    I personally wouldn't have cared if my roomates switched around some furniture, unless the new setup was vastly inferior, then I would have nagged on them till I got my will.
     
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  8. arbygil

    arbygil Passing through

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    True, but it's rare. And it's INFJ to really care about what another person thinks - it's in our nature, after all (that's what Fe's all about). It's far more difficult to not care about what another thinks because we do that in society all the time.

    Now, it's not a good idea to be a doormat, but we all care about what people think about us. It's society's way. We wouldn't belong in a society if we didn't.

    ETA: To answer the question, I think we should always treat others with respect, even if we don't like them all that much. Makes things much, much easier.
     
    #8 arbygil, Feb 24, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2010
  9. muir

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    Well done for standing firm

    If you want to be democratic, then give everyone a say
     
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    #9 muir, Feb 25, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2010
  10. Krumplenump

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    Furniture might seem trivial but I'm the sort that changes it around all the time and I would not be happy until I got my way regarding the layout of a room.

    If I agreed with what the other two guys were proposing I wouldn't have waited for the third guy to hear his opinion. If he didn't like it we could always tweak it again.
     
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  11. Lucifer

    Lucifer Registered User #666

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    The lay out of a room affects the mood of the room and thus affects the moods of the people in the room.

    Its enough to make someone grouchy and not know why.

    Ttly fung shwe

    and I know I probably didn't spell that right
    :m169::m027:
     
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  12. soulseeker

    soulseeker Permanent Fixture

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    hahahahaha I HAVE A LOT of situations like this

    I don't know what's happening with people now... it's like we're all full of crap
    a lot of my friends experience this too

    and the worse part is that when I feel like crap.. and feel so so so so low like down there low and when I have problems or when I'm stressed/depressed then people treat me like crap sometimes.. I wallow it in (well maybe most of the time) and then I feel like crap like trash like I don't have the right to live.. but then recently, I just can't take people treating me like crap.. I LOVE revenge but I don't really do it now because I feel very guilty afterward

    but yeah.... a lot of people don't treat people like people and when I get tired of it... i won't care what they think of me I'd just fight back and have revenge .. ughhh I get very insulted and angry when they do that... like hello!!excuse me I have the right to be treated like a person and if you don't want to.. then I won't treat you like one too<---but that would just lead to more people treating other people like crap ahahahaha

    ughhh!!!!!!! I'm sorry this is so antagonistic.... but right now, I'm just tired of people treating me like shit ......UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    and what is the problem with the other people sharing that guy's room!?!?!? why can't they be sensitive enough!?!?!? my gawd!!!!!!! is it that hard to even in some point of their lives THINK ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK... IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT THEM ughhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ..... oh and if I was Trent I would arrange the furniture back to their original places ahahahhaha JOKE.. okay I won't do that but I will be tempted to do that

    sorry I'm just so negative right now
     
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  13. Feelings

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    Not really, I'm pretty isolated and I generally prefer it that way. It's true, I see a lot that's wrong with others. And by that I mostly mean that they're not nice, or not understanding. That includes INFJs when they get too emotionally worked up, then their mind closes off and they can't seem to see clearly. I'm so judgmental that most people come across painfully average and thus uninteresting to me, but when somebody stands out they REALLY stand out to me. Sorry, slightly off-topic, but wouldn't you rather follow my train of thought? :)

    I tend to be nice unless I feel threatened, at which point I clam up a bit, which is OFTEN. That's the biggest barrier to me being uber-nice INFJ-like. I always feel threatened. I can't, and in most cases I don't think I should, trust.
     
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  14. Krumplenump

    Krumplenump Community Member

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    I think it's, feng shooee.
     
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  15. MrWindUpBird

    MrWindUpBird Community Member

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    Are you my father? Hah. I grew up under an INTJ and I could tell from my early adolescence that he always felt threatened by others. Not in an insecure way, but more like he could never let his guard down and was always suspicious.

    I always notice when people treat other people like crap. And, sad to say, because I'm sensitive to it, I'm also pretty good at it. So it's a constant struggle not to abuse that when I get really pissed off. And to reference your example about the furniture guys, I hate when people treat service workers like crap. It really says something about their character. I always try to be nice to the delivery guy or postal clerk; who knows what kind of stuff they're dealing with that day?
     
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