Too Young? | INFJ Forum

Too Young?

Nixie

Nixie

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Aug 23, 2010
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Just curious here. My crazy sister has a crazy friend who has this theory about dating someone too young. Basically you take your age and divide by 2, then add 7 years. That is the age of your bottom deck--meaning if you date someone younger the relationship is destined to fail because it is below the water. I know it has no logical base but still the idea intrigues me.
My bottom deck would be 27 1/2 years old. Dang, I couldn't imagine dating someone that young. I just think that the differences would be too great.
Has anybody dated someone signifcantly younger or older? What was the experience like?
 
Mine would be 20. Actually I hear this theory all the time, it's quite wide spread.

I think I could date a 20 year old, but depending on how well developed they are as a person and where their maturity level is at, I don't know if it would work long term. I feel like sometimes there is just an age gap that cannot be closed in some cases, no matter how much the two of you may love each other.

I was romantically involved with someone who was 29 when I was 19. I liked the feeling of safety that came with being involved with someone who was older and more wordly and knowledgeable. But it didn't work out for many, many reasons. We're still in contact 6 years later and I think that the relationship could sustain itself now that I've grown up a bit, but I still feel that decade of an age difference would be our undoing.
 
It depends...some people can handle a massive age difference, particularly people with Asperger's where an interest in, say, subway systems outweighs being familiar with, say, '80's pop culture.
 
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Sonyab said:
Basically you take your age and divide by 2, then add 7 years.
Click to expand...

That would be article 113 of bro code.

Article 113: A Bro abides by the accepted age-difference formula when pursuing a young chick

Acceptable age difference formula

Chick's age = Guy's age divided by 2, + 7
Click to expand...
 
Ewww I wouldn't date a sixteen and a half year old.
 
Apparently the older you are, the more wide your ''appropriate'' dating options are. Mine would apparently be 15. Now I personally thin it has to do more with the maturity of an individual person.
 
Raccoon Love said:
Apparently the older you are, the more wide your ''appropriate'' dating options are. Mine would apparently be 15. Now I personally thin it has to do more with the maturity of an individual person.
Click to expand...


Cause if I was a guy I would rape you and the force you to date me. And my youngest is 15! YOUR IN THE MIDDLE!
 
According to the formula, my paramour would need to be a minimum of 19 years old.

Heh, I'm not certain I would feel overly comfortable with that. I prefer guys my age or older. A year or two younger, maybeee but generally, no. It would feel like I'm dating somebody's younger brother or something. But maybe that's just me.
 
this is a very interesting topic, because there are different levels of maturity. If there is quite a bit of age difference but both are personally/emotionally compatible (as long as both are considered equal partners in each other's eyes) then this would probably work well for a couple. But if there is a unequal power dynamic, then i'm not how fulfilling it will be for both. Or if the younger is too inexperienced or too dependent on the older partner for validation, etc. then it may not be so good in the long run.

according to the formula, my age rage would span from 22 onward. hmm . . .
 
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According to this formula, I can date those between the ages of 18 and 30. (It seems only fair to apply the formula is both directions.) I'm typically interested in girls slightly older than me, so this is not a problem.



My real life INFJ friend is about 6 months too young to be with her boyfriend.
 
arbygil said:
Yep, that's the Cougar Rule. :D

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Half-age-plus-seven-relationship-rule.svg

When you're in your 20s it's a bit creepy. But the older you get, the more comfortable it becomes.

For me, the guy would be 28...but I still prefer someone in their 30s. I'd have to figure out if we had anything in common first, and if we actually shared similar goals and interests.
Click to expand...

Yeah, this particular quote is interesting:

From another point of view, the chart can be interpreted as saying that there should not be an age disparity of as much as five years unless the older person has an age of 24 or more and the younger person has an age of 19 or more, a ten-year disparity should exist only if the older person has an age of 34 or more and the younger person has an age of 24 or more, and a twenty-year disparity should occur only if the older person has an age of 54 or more and the younger person has an age of 34 or more.
Click to expand...

So, the formula is not consistent throughout all ages. It widens as you get older.

For example, a friend of mine in her early 30s, has a fiance in his early 50s. And she is very happy and they love each other very much. Most would say, this is too high an age difference but it works for her. I won't argue that this would work for everyone. It depends on the individuals.
 
Hey ladies between the ages of 17-26, hit me up! :D
 
Seventeen.
Younger than my little brother.
Younger than my little brother's friends.
No.Way.
 
Sonyab said:
My bottom deck would be 27 1/2 years old. Dang, I couldn't imagine dating someone that young. I just think that the differences would be too great.
Click to expand...

As I am the same age as you, my "bottom deck" is the same. I can imagine it. Age can be just a number. There are 27-1/2-years-old would-be-children and some that are already near-crones as it concerns experience and wisdom.

Sonyab said:
Has anybody dated someone signifcantly younger or older? What was the experience like?
Click to expand...

When I was 37 I dated a 22-year-old. It was good while it lasted and we parted paths as friends. No regrets.


cheers,
Ian
 
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