therapy question

[myst]

I have a question for people who have been in therapy. Does your therapist direct the topics you talk about much? If youre not sure what to talk about, does s/he wait til you think of something or does s/he bring up topics s/he thinks would be useful for you to talk about? Which way do you prefer (or think you would prefer)? Thanks!

 

[bamf]

Every time I've been to one they usually have topics to bring up for us to discuss. There really never was much "dead air" time, which I appreciated. Their inquisitive nature helped keep the conversation going.

 

[NuthatchXi]

I've never had therapy, but I'm nearly positive that I would prefer it for them to direct the topics, at least somewhat.

 

[Gaze]

They usually want some guidance from you about what you'd like to work on, and then they ask questions, pick out things you say, and discuss what may be the heart of the issue. If they're good, they'll usually be open to some discussion and will avoid simply telling you the answer or what you want to hear. They'll usually try to understand how you think and why. And they'll try to solicit responses from you which may help you to figure out some of the answers on your own.

 

[myst]

thanks u all! useful perspectives. I've been to a bunch of therapists over the years, usually very briefly, but only one of them directed the topics as much as I like. The therapist I recently started with seems to start the session by asking me what I want to talk about. When I said I hadn't thought of anything, she just waited for me to come up with something. She suggested I write down what I want to talk about ahead of time for future sessions. I don't have trouble coming up with topics. But I feel like if I'm always figuring out what to talk about then she isn't really coming up with any real overall ideas to help... just little ideas that come up here and there as I talk. That's part of why I left my last therapist. Since it seems to be happening twice, I wondered if it is me.

 

[Matariki]

I have a question for people who have been in therapy. Does your therapist direct the topics you talk about much? If youre not sure what to talk about, does s/he wait til you think of something or does s/he bring up topics s/he thinks would be useful for you to talk about? Which way do you prefer (or think you would prefer)? Thanks!

My therapist/counselor is an interesting one. Shes an INFJ and introduced me to the concept of MBTI. My therapist likes to work at the pace that I set. I talk, she responds. I like to be asked questions, which she has picked up on. Since my mind is all over the place, no one session is the same.
Usually we deal with things that have happened in the past, and how these are linked to the constant nightmares I am having. We are also working on setting positive goals for the future and taking the right steps toward achieving them.

Further therapy will be directed towards my recent diagnoses of C-PTSD.
I am also working with my pyschologist on other potential disorders that is in the mix.

Good therapy does wonders, usually I feel worn out after my sessions, I tend to withdraw and introspect.
But it gets me thinking and asking questions. Sometimes our sessions can go on from 1 to 2 and half hours depending on how it goes and what happens. My therapist is very patience and considerate, I enjoy working with her and have been for over a year now.

 

[myst]

Matariki, thanks for your response. Wow, you are lucky you can have a flexible amount of time, and 2 1/2 hours! In the U.S. most people's insurance will only cover 50 minutes every two weeks or so. You can schedule the sessions whenever you want, but you get enough sessions in a year to go a little less than every two weeks if you were going all year long.

I tend to want to withdraw and introspect when I have a good therapist too.

 

[Matariki]

Matariki, thanks for your response. Wow, you are lucky you can have a flexible amount of time, and 2 1/2 hours! In the U.S. most people's insurance will only cover 50 minutes every two weeks or so. You can schedule the sessions whenever you want, but you get enough sessions in a year to go a little less than every two weeks if you were going all year long.

I tend to want to withdraw and introspect when I have a good therapist too.

I totally hear you, 50 minutes?

That's a joke. Its hard enough to walk into a room and spill out your problems, yet alone in 50 minutes.

I usually go weekly, sometimes fortnightly, the government pays for a set number of sessions, after I have completed the amount of sessions, my therapist then fills out a form for the government to allow me to keep attending if further therapy is required.

Legally, I'm only allowed 60 minutes...

 

[invisible]

50 minutes was enough for me! i couldn't take any more! haha.

 

[goldfinch]

My therapy is 45 minutes, once a week. Every week my therapist starts by saying, "What are we talking about today?" I hate that. We have recently written down a bunch of topics and keep them in a box in his office in case I can't talk, or don't know how to start. We pull a topic out of the box. He totally leaves it up to me as to what we will talk about, which I don't really like. I would prefer if he would ask me questions about my week, or how I am doing specifically. Not just, "How are you?" because I always respond, "Fine." Therapy is very frustrating for me actually. It never goes how I picture it in my head, and I always think of things to say or good responses after I leave.

 

[Stella]

It's more half and half for me. When I go, my therapist starts by asking about how the time between visits has been. This usually gets me talking, which then leads me to so many other topics all on my own. At the half of the time, she asks me about how things we have been talking about have been working out (for example, me being somewhat OCD about some things, am I doing any better?). My thoughts jump around, so I could go from talking about how I have a choir concert later to how I feel like no one cares about me no matter how much I care about them, for example.

 

[myst]

Thanks for your responses Stella and Goldfinch. I think some of your posts are part of what got me thinking about this, Goldfinch. I also wonder if there tends to be a difference between couples therapy versus individual therapy, since the one time I found a therapist to seem interested, intentional, and helpful enough was during couples therapy. When I've been in individual therapy, it seems somewhat aimless and pointless.

So, Matariki, do you think New Zealand lets United Statesians move in for the health care? j/k (well, kind of). Sorry to be clueless, but does New Zealand have more government run health insurance, or is it more for-profit health insurance companies?