The "it" factor
- Thread starter Gaze
- Start date
I would agree with the good looks part
everyone seems to be commenting on the confidence and "essence" the second girl had.
My eyes focused on the girl in the red. If this was one of those casting for "America's Next Top Model," and I had to choose one of these girls, I would have chosen her because I believe she exerts new potential. I've seen quite of few girls who look at the second one and exert those types of traits described. Those are probably the type of people some of us would answer "yes" to when asked "are you intimidated by very attractive people?" Some of those people can carry themselves really well--some are quite smart and talented--they are all lucky because they were blessed with their looks to top it off.
I know people who don't look like that but have a very strong presence. They are confident and they show it and don't hold anything back. America's next top model sometimes shows examples of this. Some girls that compete some people would not agree they should have been chosen because they look different then what is expected--but yet they are because the judges see something more to them--something made them stand out.
I do believe everyone has the potential to achieve "it"
"it's" just confidence.
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My sense is it’s an idea based on a cognitive distortion. The “it” factor is shorthand for describing a kind of human experience, but it doesn’t describe reality as much as it demonstrates the thinking style of those who believe in the idea.
My sense is that when a person says someone has “it” factor, what they are doing is refusing to acknowledge and accept responsibility for their own sensation, emotion, and thought as it concerns their experience of feeling attracted to someone. Instead, the person chooses to make a (positive) moral judgment of another, and then project their internal experience onto the other, describing the projection as ‘the “it” factor’.
My sense is the quality of undefinable-ness comes from the disavowal of one’s own internal experience of attraction and the moral judgment of, and projection onto, another. My sense is defining “it factor” would create a cognitive dissonance that would work against the processes of disavowal and projection, and would be contrary to the need that is sought to be met by choosing to engage in those processes.
Namaste,
Ian
Me too. Maybe it was the red, I don't know.
I didn't notice Seraphim's sister until later in the post when it was called to my attention that this is where it was expected the attention would be.
It sounded like this was going somewhere interesting...Then you lost me there. Are you saying I'm attracted to my sister?Maybe I'm just taking you too literally.
My sense is you have an internal experience of feeling of attraction when you witness your sister, and that has to do with your perception, your values, your aesthetics, your thoughts, and so on.
An
Me too. Maybe it was the red, I don't know.
I didn't notice Seraphim's sister until later in the post when it was called to my attention that this is where it was expected the attention would be.
I took a moment to focus on each individualy and I guessed the second would be called out because of her over all physical beauty compared to the other girls.
and I hope this doesnt come of as rude or what not but if you were to copy and paste the same second girl say among a different group of girls--going by that "it" factor that Seraphim pointed out the results would be different. Let's say with this group of girls(and I just google "group of girls"):
The results would be different and I think most people eyes would have a harder time deciding who to focus on and why because now they all have one thing in common.
who would be the "it" here?
I honestly dont think the IT fact is based on looks, sure in photos there will be one person that stands out more than others, but that is purely physical. the IT fact has to go deeper than that. For example: You could be in a group of 30 or more people, and most of them very attractive, but the average homely looking girl has the it factor based on dertermination, drive, and leadership skills. Its so much more than skin deep. There are some people that are naturally born to win the hearts of everyone they touch, and were attracted to them, in a sense, like a magnet. Drawn to what makes them IT.