- Aug 9, 2009
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The "it" factor
- Thread starter Gaze
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The photo was just [MENTION=933]Seraphim[/MENTION]'s attempt to explain an undefinable idea. As she said it goes beyond the photo. People with "it" are not necessarily beautiful or charming. They are just magnetic. As [MENTION=933]Seraphim[/MENTION] says their behaviour may even be repulsive yet people still cannot resist them. I'm sure there is some explanation for it but it isn't as simple as they are beautiful or charming. If you improve your looks and work on your charm you still will not have that undefinable quality that they have. I can't explain it any better than that.
i agreed with Seraphim. i did notice something different about her sister. she's very photogenic. she has a lovely genuine smile and has a way of standing that projects confidence. to me, it's totally noticable, and different from the other girls. i would hardly judge their characters or personalities on that basis, but that it seems self-evident to me that her sister has a charisma factor that they don't. maybe i am very superficial after all. i have often thought that i would run a fabulous model agency.
No. There are lots of people with confidence and high self esteem who do not have it. I have confidence and high self esteem but I don't have it. I am photogenic but I don't have it. When I want to I can be very charming but I don't have it.
I guess the difference to me is that I think people can control their looks, at least to some extent and I also have an eclectic taste in what I'm attracted to most of there people that are universally attractive don't appeal to me at all.
[MENTION=3710]AlienSpectator[/MENTION] I find your flat out "no" "no" "no's" a little rude to be honest, I'm expressing my opinion here, I'm not going around telling you that you're wrong simply discussing, why belittle my opinion of the issues? can't you see how we could see people through different scopes? maybe someone that has "it" to you I find absolutely repugnant, it's impossible to know what it looks like though others eyes.
- Aug 9, 2009
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just kidding. i'm not an attention whore.
i work with this guy and he might have the IT factor, i'm not sure. he has tall and has incredible hair and a powerful voice that he projects constantly. as soon as i met him i shied away from his personality, i thought that there was something shallow and spiteful in him. i got to know him for the sake of a mutual friend who liked him, thinking "i really should give this guy a chance" and when we were having drinks after everyone had gone home he told me that he used to be a prostitute in order to pay for his interest in drugs and that he used to do couples, and that if he could see that one of the couple was really not interested in the experience but was doing it for the other, he would make sure that the one who was into it was having a really great time, and he would try to isolate the other one from the experience. i thought this was pretty low. i have also seen him work under the influence of cocaine. he told another staffmember that he wanted to fuck me and he also did sleep with one of the younger staff who imho was a little bit vulnerable. i had a disagreement with him when we were cooperating on a task one day and he made a personal call that lasted an extended period of time and i told him it was inappropriate. despite the fact that i apologised to him, he then manipulated someone into ganging up on me, and together they left me alone during a very busy period, made sarcastic and derogatory remarks about my clothing and my work abilities, ostracised me to an extent that blew me away... then pretended none of it happened, and went around telling people that i didn't like them anymore, and came up to me when i was surrounded by customers and asked me if they had done something to upset me, as though i was getting upset for no reason. he's deliberately run into me as a way of intimidating me physically, yelled at me for trying to be helpful, talked to me with sarcasm as though i was intellectually disabled in front of customers, made jokes about me and laughed with customers in front of me... and so on. despite all of this, he is well liked and popular on staff, and is always the center of attention.
i work with this guy and he might have the IT factor, i'm not sure. he has tall and has incredible hair and a powerful voice that he projects constantly. as soon as i met him i shied away from his personality, i thought that there was something shallow and spiteful in him. i got to know him for the sake of a mutual friend who liked him, thinking "i really should give this guy a chance" and when we were having drinks after everyone had gone home he told me that he used to be a prostitute in order to pay for his interest in drugs and that he used to do couples, and that if he could see that one of the couple was really not interested in the experience but was doing it for the other, he would make sure that the one who was into it was having a really great time, and he would try to isolate the other one from the experience. i thought this was pretty low. i have also seen him work under the influence of cocaine. he told another staffmember that he wanted to fuck me and he also did sleep with one of the younger staff who imho was a little bit vulnerable. i had a disagreement with him when we were cooperating on a task one day and he made a personal call that lasted an extended period of time and i told him it was inappropriate. despite the fact that i apologised to him, he then manipulated someone into ganging up on me, and together they left me alone during a very busy period, made sarcastic and derogatory remarks about my clothing and my work abilities, ostracised me to an extent that blew me away... then pretended none of it happened, and went around telling people that i didn't like them anymore, and came up to me when i was surrounded by customers and asked me if they had done something to upset me, as though i was getting upset for no reason. he's deliberately run into me as a way of intimidating me physically, yelled at me for trying to be helpful, talked to me with sarcasm as though i was intellectually disabled in front of customers, made jokes about me and laughed with customers in front of me... and so on. despite all of this, he is well liked and popular on staff, and is always the center of attention.
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"Men are less worried about harming somebody who makes himself loved than someone who makes himself feared, for love is held by a chain of obligation which, since men are bad, is broken at every opportunity for personal gain. Fear, on the other hand, is maintained by a dread of punishment which will never desert you."
- Niccol
I think there is room for differing opinions on the "it" factor. I think there is an "it" factor which makes particular persons stand out in a crowd, but i also think that there's an "it" quality which many have which is not noticed by everyone; only a lucky few who notice and realize the uniqueness of the quality.
omg. not everyone has the charisma of cate blanchett or the breasts of elizabeth taylor or the gorgeous physique of gerard butler. or whatever else it is they have that attracts people to them. some people can never get it. there's nothing necessarily terrible or horrifying about that. it's totally just the way life is.
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Are you saying that certain people just don't pick up on the "it" or that "it" people are rare?
That's my point though, someone that is irresistible to you isn't necessarily irresistible to me, and vice versa.
[MENTION=3255]Sali[/MENTION], if you don't mind my asking, who are two recognizable people you would find irresistible that others may not?
