The "it" factor
- Thread starter Gaze
- Start date
For me, I think I experience "it" when people are expressing their most natural self. I was thinking about people's beauty just yesterday. My sense is that people are most beautiful when they are at ease with themselves.
I think people of all sorts of expression are beautiful, but I find them most beautiful when I sense they are expressing with their true self shining through. That might be someone with a face of make-up and clothing as brilliant as a peacock; if that seems to be an expression of them as self and they seem at ease and comfortable in their expression, I find it beautiful. It might be someone as free-flowing and unadorned as a hippie, as long as, again, they seem to be speaking their expression of self with ease. It might be someone fidgety and anxious, but if I am sensing they are expressing themselves truly, I experience their vulnerabilities as beautiful. I even think in some ways there's something beautiful, in a horrible way, about seeing someone expressing in cruelty and violence, if I sense they are expressing from a place of strength and from which they are at ease. I don't like to dwell on that experience of beauty though.
Alternatively, if someone seems to be hiding behind adornments, or the lack of them, trying to be something they think they should be, but actually are not, I tend to find their expression more uncomfortable than beautiful and I feel more empathy for their discomfort than attraction to their "it".
I think people of all sorts of expression are beautiful, but I find them most beautiful when I sense they are expressing with their true self shining through. That might be someone with a face of make-up and clothing as brilliant as a peacock; if that seems to be an expression of them as self and they seem at ease and comfortable in their expression, I find it beautiful. It might be someone as free-flowing and unadorned as a hippie, as long as, again, they seem to be speaking their expression of self with ease. It might be someone fidgety and anxious, but if I am sensing they are expressing themselves truly, I experience their vulnerabilities as beautiful. I even think in some ways there's something beautiful, in a horrible way, about seeing someone expressing in cruelty and violence, if I sense they are expressing from a place of strength and from which they are at ease. I don't like to dwell on that experience of beauty though.
Alternatively, if someone seems to be hiding behind adornments, or the lack of them, trying to be something they think they should be, but actually are not, I tend to find their expression more uncomfortable than beautiful and I feel more empathy for their discomfort than attraction to their "it".
[MENTION=2300]Siamese cat[/MENTION]
kinda agree, because if people are constantly being defined as having "it" or not having "it", then it creates a sense inequality, where we're asked to think of and treat someone as better than others because they have "it."
Sure. And [MENTION=7]tovlo[/MENTION] pretty much wrote what I just wanted to add.
I think that just as tovlo said it, "it" is that inner beauty everyone has, more the combination of several qualities than one particular quality, that makes them unique and different than everyone else.
People for variety of reasons choose not show it off, though sometimes it just manages to slip past them and get caught by someone's observant eye.
Reminds me of those individuals who fly quietly under the radar, who think no one notices them. i always feel that i am just a little cooler or get a special pleasure from noticing how amazing they are when everyone else just passes them by without notice. It's almost a privilege to "see" them. Reminds me of the Pandoran greeting (in the movie Avatar) "I see you".
This.
And this.
Sadly I chose not to show of it. I mean I pursue a career in which it cannot shine through, but due to financial circumstances I won't change track midway. Kind of a T decision.
I was immature, didn't know much about personality psychology and thought I'm gonna come along. I still think I'm gonna pull it off I'm just not so comfortable with it.
before I describe what i was thinking...i must get something clear-- the way you say it,the "it" factor is the idea that some people have this special quality that makes them stand out.
Is this a personal idea?
because when I read this I thought of it like the idea that *someone* believes they have a special quality that makes them stand out.
I thought of it like the strive for "uniqueness" <---that battle.
Is this a personal idea?
because when I read this I thought of it like the idea that *someone* believes they have a special quality that makes them stand out.
I thought of it like the strive for "uniqueness" <---that battle.
not a personal idea. . . interested in the way others would it define apart from the generally accepted meaning. The "it' factor is often something noticed by other people about someone. And based on the responses here, everyone has their own "it" factor. @Curiosilla
Yes-- in that case I will not theorise otherwise...
You know though-- somewhat I feel that the "it" factor is just held together by the body that bestows it. The "it's" aren't unique--the body and moderations iare--and that's what make's it an "it".
but it's not just one.
"It's" a combination.
You know what draws people in? being awesome... not a superficial sort of I do awesome things sometimes, but an awesome that is so awesome it spills over the container. I'm talking pure badassery.
I remember my high school calculus teacher would refer to calculus as "pure greatness", and would invite us to "experience the greatness."
You see, calculus doesn't try to be awesome, it just is. The fact that it can be applied to situations and used to obtain more awesomeness is purely coincidental. And damn, it's pretty.
Seriously Fucking Gorgeous.
The "It" factor is the embodiment of something beautiful.
And don't forget who defines beauty.
(yourself)
I remember my high school calculus teacher would refer to calculus as "pure greatness", and would invite us to "experience the greatness."
You see, calculus doesn't try to be awesome, it just is. The fact that it can be applied to situations and used to obtain more awesomeness is purely coincidental. And damn, it's pretty.
Seriously Fucking Gorgeous.
The "It" factor is the embodiment of something beautiful.
And don't forget who defines beauty.
(yourself)
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Feel free to theorise. And also, what are these "combinations" which make up the "it"? [MENTION=3755]Curiosilla[/MENTION]
Hmm.
By "it" factor, the OP does not mean "that which makes someone unique", but rather "that which makes someone stand out more apparently to many people", correct?
Charisma?
Because, when it comes down to it, many people have achieved things and have certain characteristics that are generally admired, but it seems like charisma must be present in an individual for their achievements to reach others.
Charisma seems to be the ability to communicate effectively, often without even having to resort to language.
And so it can be used to communicate "I am amazing and worthy of your attention" rather effectively. So effectively, actually, that it hardly seems pretentious.
Agapooka
By "it" factor, the OP does not mean "that which makes someone unique", but rather "that which makes someone stand out more apparently to many people", correct?
Charisma?
Because, when it comes down to it, many people have achieved things and have certain characteristics that are generally admired, but it seems like charisma must be present in an individual for their achievements to reach others.
Charisma seems to be the ability to communicate effectively, often without even having to resort to language.
And so it can be used to communicate "I am amazing and worthy of your attention" rather effectively. So effectively, actually, that it hardly seems pretentious.
Agapooka
Well, if I go into it, it has to do with my views on this tern, "uniqueness."
As far as single personality traits go, there are none that are unique to one individual.
What is unique though is the variance of them-- like how much you have of this or that with this or that and yadeeyah and most importantly, how the person exerts and utilizes them.
So I've heard things like "He's honest, sweet, and funny--I've nerver met anyone like him before."
Yet, I can name like 6 people right at the top of my head right now who can fit that description more if I put more thought into it.
Yes, generaly, they fit that description but that doesn't mean they are all like each other--so what's their "it"?
Certainly they might share similar traits but some may be funnier than the other and among the more humourous ones one might exspress their "sweet" side in a different manner than the other--yadeeyah again.
When I say body I mean--the physical body of that person. That, I truely believe is unique to every individual--even among "identical twins" they aren't identical with a closer look.
So I think of every individual as say...a pot... and the traits as the ingredients-- [MENTION=2827]Phoenix Down[/MENTION] : sometimes i think the combinations (the pot plus the ingredients) are beautiful--sometimes I think it's not
but anyway
"It's" the whole presentation--what's in the pot--how much of it and how it is used and exerted through that body you can pin those traits to.
I think I have not made sense or I've been too obvious.
As far as single personality traits go, there are none that are unique to one individual.
What is unique though is the variance of them-- like how much you have of this or that with this or that and yadeeyah and most importantly, how the person exerts and utilizes them.
So I've heard things like "He's honest, sweet, and funny--I've nerver met anyone like him before."
Yet, I can name like 6 people right at the top of my head right now who can fit that description more if I put more thought into it.
Yes, generaly, they fit that description but that doesn't mean they are all like each other--so what's their "it"?
Certainly they might share similar traits but some may be funnier than the other and among the more humourous ones one might exspress their "sweet" side in a different manner than the other--yadeeyah again.
When I say body I mean--the physical body of that person. That, I truely believe is unique to every individual--even among "identical twins" they aren't identical with a closer look.
So I think of every individual as say...a pot... and the traits as the ingredients-- [MENTION=2827]Phoenix Down[/MENTION] : sometimes i think the combinations (the pot plus the ingredients) are beautiful--sometimes I think it's not
but anyway
"It's" the whole presentation--what's in the pot--how much of it and how it is used and exerted through that body you can pin those traits to.
I think I have not made sense or I've been too obvious.